


Riptide

by FlyingAlwaysInColor



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Anything else should be illegal, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bottom Harry, Fluff and Smut, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, It's the best medicine, Laughter, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mention of attempted suicide (not main character), Niall and Liam as amazing friends, Rimming, Some alcohol and marijuana use, because it's essential, but not a ton, but not very graphic, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 10:51:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 92,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9604769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingAlwaysInColor/pseuds/FlyingAlwaysInColor
Summary: AU in which Louis loses his amazing mum, and is sent on a forced holiday to a luxury spa resort where he meets a green-eyed angel and an adventurous Irishman who help him start to heal by administering equal doses of love and laughter.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU fic about grief, love and self-discovery. I started writing this long before we ever knew about Jay's illness. I promise it's respectful and I think it shows just how much I admire her as an amazing woman and mother. I don't want to give too much away but I think it's important to note that she’s already gone when the story starts. I promise a happily-ever-after ending with lots of fluff and, well, plenty of smut as well.

“Are you fucking with me, Liam? Please tell me you’re fucking with me.” Louis glares at his long-time friend and professional colleague, eyes exhausted but wide, jaw hanging open. Liam says nothing but looks at Louis with that stern as fuck expression Liam has perfected over the years. After a long moment, Louis remembers to breathe and rakes his fingers roughly through his already messy hair. _Unfuckingbelievable!_

“To be honest, you’re going to thank me for this someday.” Liam attempts to hand over the brochure, along with the keys to one of the firm’s cars, but Louis quickly bats his arm away. Instead, he carefully places the items on the desk directly in front of where Louis is standing.

“Don’t be offended when I don’t.” Louis throws his body down onto the black leather desk chair, spinning it so it faces away from Liam and towards the large windows that overlook downtown Minneapolis. The sky is a pale grey, the window still wet from the rain that had come earlier.

Liam takes a measured breath and continues on, “You’re going to kill yourself if you keep going at this pace. It’s not working for you and you know it.”

“When did you become so judgmental? I thought you were on my side.”

“That’s exactly what this is about. I have always been on your side and always will.”   Liam walks around the large desk, not stopping until he is directly in front of Louis. “ _You_ are not on your side.”

The two men stare at each other, both incredibly stubborn and unrelenting. Louis is the first to look away, his gaze cast down at his lap. He notices, maybe not for the first time, all the wrinkles in his button-down shirt and designer trousers. He recalls them looking much better first thing this morning when he threw them on haphazardly after realizing he’d slept through his alarm. And apparently several snooze cycles.

Just then the door to Louis’ office flies open with a loud bang. Both men turn toward the sound and immediately see Eleanor rushing inside holding a tray of tea and breakfast croissants. “Sorry, sorry! That door is so huge, I expect it to require more strength than it does.” Nervously, she places the tray down on the grey-stained oak desk. As she starts towards the door again, the brochure lying on the desk has her doing a double-take. “Oh my God, the Riptide Sanctuary & Spa! I’ve heard that place is amaz–“

“El, _please_. We’re in the middle of something important.” Liam says this calmly but firmly, and Eleanor gets the message loud and clear, her eyes going wide as a wave of embarrassment flows through her reddening face. She heads straight for the door, mumbling an apology before closing it behind her, this time ever so carefully.

The room grows quiet again as the two men awkwardly struggle to find the right words. Or maybe only Liam is looking for words, because Louis has become fixated on shining his six-hundred dollar Michael Toschi loafers. He hates these shoes about as much as he hates what Liam is doing to him right now. They’re uncomfortable as fuck, meant solely to present an image to his clients.

After a time, Liam inhales and exhales loudly and sinks backwards onto the window ledge, letting it bear his weight. “Obviously your job will be here—er, in London--when you’re ready to come back. You’re a partner, and I don’t have to tell you how important you are to me and this firm. It’s just….” Liam’s voice gets a little softer, more like the voice he usually uses with Louis when they’re enclosed in their office and not in front of paying clients. “You need to _breathe_ , mate. You need to relax, to remember what it feels like to not have a million and one responsibilities and worries weighing you down. It’s the least you deserve, Lou, after all you’ve been through.”

Finding no further scuff marks to buff out on his shoe, Louis places it back on his sockless foot and meets Liam’s eyes reluctantly. “Two weeks,” he attempts to negotiate.

Liam knows him far too well and has a full speech planned for this exact situation. “It’s intern season now. We have more than enough people to help out around here. And you know Ben is flying in for the summer, so you might as well take this opportunity—“

“Right. Of course, you’ve thought it all out.” Louis shakes his head, still in utter disbelief of his shitluck. “Oh, how I can’t wait to spend an entire month getting wholly organic facials and taking Pilates classes with trophy wives! Oh my, do you think they’ll have spinach and kale smoothies? How utterly delightful it will be!”

Breathing a sigh of relief now that Louis is back to his notoriously sarcastic self (a giant step above the stressed-out, depressed and utterly lost state he’s been in for the past five plus months), Liam pushes himself off the window bay and reaches behind Louis to grab the Riptide brochure. “I’ve circled the activities James and I have already paid for. The rest is entirely up to you. At first glance it may seem a little too kumbaya for your taste but I know it’ll be a good thing for you, you’ll see.” Liam hands the brochure to Louis, who finally – if completely grudgingly – takes it from him.

“Bloody hell. Tell James he’s a dickhead for not having the balls to deliver this message himself.” Closing his laptop, Louis begins packing up some of the things on his desk. “I really don’t see how I’ll last there a full month, Li.”

“Just try. Please. I’ll call you in a few days to check-in. But just so you know, even if you decide to leave early, you aren’t coming back here until August at the earliest.”

“You know I have to be back in London by end of August anyway. Might as well just go back now!” And just like that, Louis’ short-lived resignation is eclipsed by his anger again and things are being slammed into his TOD’s messenger bag none too carefully.

“Look, I know you have responsibilities in London but I think it would be good for you to take a break from all of that as well as the firm. An actual break, Lou.” Liam’s tone is such that it forces Louis to look at him, Liam’s eyebrows practically popping off his forehead as he hammers his point home. “You can barely fasten your clothes properly, let alone be of any help to the girls right now.”

Jaw dropped open, Louis glares at his friend. He slaps a stack of case files on the desk, taking much delight in the abrupt sound it creates. Left with nothing in his hands, he clenches his fists tight enough that he can feel his fingernails dig into his palms.

Liam exhales slowly, bending down to pick up a pen and a few stray papers that fell off the desk during Louis’ tantrum. “I’ve got time off coming up as well. We can fly back together if you want. I’d be more than happy to help sort things out. Not like I have much else to do there, anyways.”

Louis’ entire body goes completely still, fists opening up to flex his palms. “Fuck, mate. I’m sorry. You shouldn’t be sitting here playing nursemaid to my pathetic arse…”

“Trust me, I’m fine. Or rather, I’m getting there. Quicker than I thought I would, actually. Sophia and I have been over for ages. It just took me a long time to realize it.”

Unable to think of anything helpful to say in response, Louis quietly continues his packing until he has everything sorted out and can’t think of anything further he will need to bring with him on this unexpected and undesirable journey he is about to embark upon. Slinging his bag over his shoulder and grabbing the car key off the desk, he turns to Liam. “Guess I’ll be on my way then. Probably kept you from your meetings long enough, yeah?”

Liam has his puppy dog face on. Louis’ first inclination is to make fun of him but he’s much too tired for that.

“We’ll talk soon.” Stepping closer, Liam holds out both arms for a hug. Louis shrugs the shoulder strap off and lets his bag fall to the floor, letting Liam envelop him in a strong bear hug. If it lasts a few more seconds than it typically would, neither of them acknowledge that. As Liam releases his grip, he whispers, “Take care of _you_ for a change.”

Louis meets his eyes, which may or may not be a little more watery than is normal and gives him a light nod. “Take some of your own advice, mate.”


	2. Chapter Two

Putting his car in park, Louis lights another cigarette while surveying the land around him. The drive took him about two and half hours west and a little south of Minneapolis. He’s literally out in the middle of nowhere. For the last forty minutes of his drive here he could see no sign of civilization whatsoever. Just woods, stretching out endlessly around him. He might have thought it was lovely if he wasn’t in such a foul mood. Forced to be here at this ridiculous wellness-themed spa resort, he had to wonder if Liam and James really knew him at all. The place is undoubtedly filled with a bunch of nutjobs that will drive him up the wall within just minutes of check-in. He asks himself for the hundredth time why the hell he let Liam do this to him.

Louis never did like being told what to do, always preferring to be in control rather than to leave things up to fate, or worse, another human being. It was his solemn belief that 98% of life consisted of things he could directly impact and the other 2%? Well, he did his best to ignore those things. Right now, he did not feel in control and he did not like how that made him feel.    

But, shit. If he’s honest with himself, Louis knows that things haven’t been going as planned for quite some time now. And even though he’s tried to keep it together, maybe things have slipped a bit. Even little things like getting to meetings on time have been virtually impossible for him of late. Oversleeping, because he was wide awake half the night, skipping meals, and forgetting to call clients back until El reminds him for the second or third time. Those are things he’d never have allowed six months ago. But that was before his life went to shit.

Even still, hadn’t he dealt with it all pretty well, considering? He flew back to London the very day he heard his mum was diagnosed with stage IV liver cancer. He worked out of his mum’s home, adeptly handling his job from there while overseeing his mum’s care as she suffered through treatments and then hospice. And he held himself together quite well through it all, even helping his sisters through their own grief. After the funeral, he flew to the New York office and closed out a few successful cases there, and then made the move to the new office in Minneapolis where the firm could be more centrally located to their U.S. client base.

Sure, there were mishaps since he had gotten settled in to his apartment – or rather, Liam’s apartment since he was only going to be there until the end of Summer before moving back to London permanently to be closer to his siblings. It took a while to learn the new commute, and figure out where to buy groceries and other necessities. His clothes didn’t get laundered as frequently as usual and he showed up late for meetings on a couple of occasions. But, that’s all part of any major transition, right?

As much as he’d like to blame Liam for sending him here, he also has to admit that there is probably no one on the planet that knows him better than Liam does. If Liam is convinced things are bad enough to _resort_ to this – _Oh God, really? Now I’m thinking in puns? Maybe I_ am _losing it._ Louis decides he’ll put up with this for a short while. If only so he can tell Liam he did, and then also tell him how pathetic this place is and exactly how much money he and James wasted on all of it.

Check-in is an utter disaster. Of course it is. New Guy behind the counter was apparently hired for his looks alone. According to his plastic name tag, he goes by the name of Zayn. Being able to feast his eyes on the guy’s outrageously handsome features was the sole reason Louis didn’t completely flip his lid as Zayn fumbled his way through the entire process. He couldn’t find ‘Louis Tomlinson’ in the reservation system until the fifth try. He then handed Louis a stack of materials that were apparently for someone who purchased an entirely different package than his. The icing on the cake was when Louis was sent to the wrong room, finding it already occupied by a woman of a very geriatric age. After hauling himself and his luggage all the way back to Zayn’s roost at the front desk, he was ultimately redirected to what seemed to be an exclusive area of the resort.

And that’s when things got slightly better, if only briefly. His “room” is an enormous suite, complete with a bedroom, ensuite bath, living room, full kitchen and a large balcony. All of which are incredibly luxurious. The bathroom has a large whirlpool tub but, perhaps more to Louis’ taste is the huge frameless glass shower with multiple shower heads and so much space that even the marble shaving bench can’t come close to filling it up. Of course, the bedroom is quite nice with an elevated king size bed which is incredibly soft it feels like floating on clouds. Louis is confident he'll get plenty of use out of the 70-inch flat screen on the wall opposite the bed. All in all, the place is quite decent. If the rest of the resort proves to be as doleful and wretched as he assumes it will, he can at least spend quality time wanking alone in his suite.

Speaking of wanking, a flash image of that ridiculously hot front desk guy flooded his brain. Quickly he pushes it out. As outrageously attractive as he is, the guy couldn’t even type his last name correctly until it was repeated ever. so. slowly. for the fifth time. Not his type anyways. Not that Louis really knows what his type is. He's never devoted much time to dating, having spent most of his teenage years and all of his adult years in school or working like a dog, providing for his mum and his six siblings. He had no time for that sort of nonessential indulgence. Besides, Louis has always been confident in his ability to find decent porn online. He’d become an expert at it, actually.

The shrill sound of his phone ringing put a hasty end to his porn-related thoughts. Picking it up, he answered without looking at the screen. “This better be good.”

“L-Lou?”

“Dixie? What’s wrong?” Louis’ heart flipped into overdrive at the sound of his sister's voice. She was clearly upset.

“I’m at the hospital. Delia’s here too. We were in a car accident but…” Something in his stomach lurched and he swallowed back bile.

“ _Jesus Christ_ , Dixie. Are you both okay?”

“Yeah, just banged up a bit. I wouldn’t have called but the hospital wants to know who to bill and I couldn’t reach Lauren…”

“Dixie, _of course_ you should have called. I can give them my credit card number, whatever information they need.”

“Okay. Thanks, Lou.”

After providing his billing and insurance information, and insisting on speaking to a nurse so he could assure himself his sisters were truly okay, he ended up talking to Lauren, his eldest sister, briefly as she had called Delia just moments after Dixie called him. They spoke for a few minutes, just long enough for her to assure Louis that she would handle this and provide him with an update on their condition after she gets to the hospital and can see for herself.   Louis ends the call and throws himself back against the ultra-plush sofa, heart still beating out of his chest.

 _Fuck me!!!_ He pulls his back off the sofa to lean forward, holding his head in sweaty palms between his knees, forcing himself to calm down. Several deep breaths later, he is finally able to sit up. He walks into the kitchen, locates a glass in one of the cupboards and fills it with water. His hands are shaking but he manages to get in a few good gulps. As the moments pass, his gaze falls heavily on the empty, quiet suite, his heart rate slowly returning to normal. But whereas before the call he would have likely resigned himself to a quiet night in front of the telly, his entire body is on edge now - far too keyed up to sit in his suite all night inside his own head.

His first thought is to have a few drinks from the stocked refrigerator but he decides it is probably best to start ticking off some of the activities or spa services that Liam and James had already paid for. Exiled here as he is, he might as well take advantage of the amenities. The sooner he uses them up, the sooner he can get back to his job and his life, and stop feeling like a pathetic skive. Besides, there’s no way he wants to be alone with his thoughts right now. Keeping busy is the best defense he’s got. It’s worked for years so why stop now?

Pulling the brochure Liam had given him earlier from his pocket, he skims through the circled items. Horseback riding, dirt biking, sail boating, outdoor circuit training, zip-lining, sauna, hemp oil massage… Just the thought of a massage has him noticing how tight his muscles feel around his neck and shoulders. In fact, he feels a headache coming on as well.

He dials the spa number and asks how soon he can get in for a massage. Right now his body is strung tight and he doesn’t have the energy or patience for half the other things on the list. Besides, he’s got plenty of time for all of that what with the lifetime sentence he’d been handed. He could while away the rest of the night eating in front of the telly but, right now, a massage sounds….well, absolutely amazing, actually. Mirena, the spa concierge tells him he’s in luck as there was a last minute cancellation and he can get in to see Harry, the spa’s best massage therapist, in just twenty minutes if that suits him. Well, it does.

He sprints into the lavish ensuite, realizing he should probably make himself a bit more presentable, the freak-out he just had on the phone with Lauren making him wonder if he looks as bad as he feels at the moment. A quick glance in the large, decorative mirror in front of the double vanities confirms he’s a hot mess. Hair sticking up all over the place, and not in a good way, and there’s a gross sheen of sweat on his face, most likely brought on by the nausea that resulted from hearing the words “car accident” through the phone. There’s not enough time to take a shower so he gives himself a quick sponge bath using a couple of the ultra-plush resort towels.

A few short moments later and he’s frantically searching for the spa which is conveniently located in his wing of the building. Apparently there are two spas at the Riptide and his is the “exclusive” one. Maybe he’ll be writing a thank you card out to Liam and James after all. Arriving just in time for his appointment, Louis is greeted by the salon hostess and given a quick tour of the spa, which includes a locker room with a steam shower, and directed to undress to his comfort level and put on a plush spa robe and flip-flops. Then he is ushered into a private lounge where he is given a glass of wine and sprawls onto a comfy chaise lounge while he waits for Harry, the esteemed massage therapist.

He’s only had time to sift through the pile of magazines on the table next to him when he hears someone fumbling with the door to the lounge.

“Louis?”

He can hear Harry before he sees him. Harry’s voice is deep and a little raspy. He sounds like he just woke up, all calm and relaxed. Louis looks up from the stack of magazines he’d been flipping through just in time to see the most fit man on the planet step into the room.

“Are you Louis?” he asks with a dimpled smile.

 _Fuuuck_. Louis has forgotten how to breathe. Or form words that are longer than four letters. Harry – at least he assumes this is Harry – is a supreme specimen of unreserved handsomeness unlike anything he’s seen before. Whereas Zayn is hot in an almost caricature-like way – the typical mysterious, dark and handsome fantasy come to life, Harry seems so much more real. But maybe real isn’t exactly right either. Genuine is more like it, but sort of angelic also. His beauty seems entirely effortless and natural and….glowy. _Glowy?_ It’s almost like there’s a light around him – like a halo, really -- because his smile is so absurdly genuine that it gives him an ethereal quality. His dark hair is clearly long enough such that it can be pulled back in a perfect bun, which it is right now. His eyes are a sparkly and vibrant shade of green. _Kryptonite_ , Louis thinks, feeling suddenly quite weak. The squishy lounge chair beneath his bum begins to feel like a godsend, giving him an excuse to sink boneless into it as Harry looks him over.

At long last, Louis utters a response, recovering himself and shifting into sassmaster mode. “ _The_ one and only Louis William Tomlinson. Present and now accounted for.”

Harry smiles widely, and Louis watches as he grabs a small chair and positions it right up against Louis’ lounge chair. He sits down and asks Louis how he’s doing, only Louis doesn’t quite hear him because he’s a bit overwhelmed by Harry’s scent. He smells a little like coconut, and a lot like man. Louis’ eyes glaze over a bit as he watches the way Harry’s plush red lips move when he talks.

“Louis? Are you alright?” Harry asks, again, smiling down at him while he sinks deeper into the lounge chair.

Slowly, Louis’ brain begins to function again and his eyes move up Harry’s face until he is looking once again into the green kryptonite of Harry’s eyes. “Could this chair be any squishier? I think I’m actually melting in it.” Louis sits forward and shifts his bum back so he’s sitting more upright. And thus feels more himself, more in control. “Much better.” Getting back to Harry’s original question, he responds, “I’m just fine. How are you?” Deflecting is something Louis excels at.

“It’s a beautiful day, I can’t complain,” Harry responds, still smiling. He pulls a pen out of the pocket of his baby blue button-up and begins writing on a sheet of paper that’s tacked to a clip-board.  

There is a list of things that Harry needs to go over with Louis before they can get started. They discuss Louis’ health history and stress level. There’s nothing of note about his physical health so Harry moves on to questions about stress.

“My stress level is fine, totally normal, I’m sure. But there are some who think I’m a bit off my rocker and have forced me here against my will. It’s criminal, really. I’ll file charges against them when this is all over.”

Harry raises his eyebrows, unsure how much of what Louis just said was a joke since Louis’ facial expression does nothing to signify he’s being humorous. “Well, stressed or not, massage can be very beneficial. Everyone needs to take a little time out to focus on themselves once in a while. Life moves past us so quickly. It’s nice to just catch up with it a bit, yeah? Relinquish some control and just drift peacefully, if only for a while.”

Louis simply shrugs. He isn’t sure that a massage is going to fix everything in his life. And, handing over control? Not going to happen. But, Louis figures Harry’s green eyes and soothing voice certainly couldn’t hurt him.

“So, I’m going to spend the next ninety minutes making sure you are fully relaxed. I want you to clear your mind of all the things that might be troubling you – work, family, friends, whatever it is. Just forget about it. Put it all on hold. Right now it’s about you and all the things you deserve: good health, happiness, support, and love. Those are the only things you’re allowed to think about. And, frankly, even thinking about nothing at all is just fine. The point is to de-clutter your brain of all negativity and just let go a bit. Open yourself up to all things good and shut out anything else. Alright?”

Louis smiles a little. Harry’s speech is just what he would have expected, although somehow hearing it from Harry makes it seem less crackpot and more truthful and sincere. Harry continues on, explaining how he’ll incorporate some stretches into the massage, holding each stretch for a bit until his body eases into it and opens up, letting out more of the toxins that are dragging Louis down. Louis isn’t sure he fully understands the toxin rubbish but he doesn’t care because just listening to Harry talk feels like the massage has already started.

Harry stands up then and asks Louis to follow him to the adjoining ‘relaxation room’ so they can get started. Louis gulps down the rest of his wine like it’s a shot of tequila and follows Harry, all the while cataloguing the fit of his flowy shirt and tight, black jeans, and the almost indecent way his hips sway as he walks.

Harry explains that he’ll step out of the room briefly while Louis disrobes and slides himself between the sheets, to lie face down on the bed. After Harry departs, Louis follows the instructions he’s been given. This is only the second professional massage he’s ever had in his life, the first one being about ten years earlier when he’d pulled some muscles in his back lifting heavy furniture for his mum. A friend recommended a massage to help ease the muscle spasms that seemed to be taking their sweet time dissipating. So, he’s no expert on this subject but he is thankful for his decision to keep his boxer briefs on. He isn’t sure why he’d need to be fully naked since this doesn’t seem like the type of place to offer Happy Endings. Also, after the personal nature of the conversation he just had with Harry he feels a bit naked emotionally, and that’s naked enough right now. Taking his robe off, he slides face down between the soft, warm sheets and waits for Harry to return.

“Ready, Louis?” Harry’s voice is so soothing and soft that Louis actually gets chills running down his arms and legs at the sound of it.

“Yeah.” His body is tightly strung, and he’s looking forward to some relief. He silently wills his body to relax although he knows he’s a bit keyed up at the anticipation of having someone’s hands on him, particularly a man’s hands, since it’s something he hasn’t experienced in quite some time.

“Okay, I’m going to start with your neck and back, then move to your arms and then legs. After that we’ll flip you over and do those stretches we talked about and finish the massage on your front side, same order as we’ll do on your back.”

Louis mumbles an agreeable response into the face rest and waits for Harry to get started, his body as still as a statue under the blankets. The moment he feels the blankets being pulled down to his waist, he actually flinches.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to surprise you.” Harry places a warm palm lightly across Louis’ shoulder blade and rests it there for a few seconds, soothingly. “If there’s anything you’re uncomfortable with, please let me know and we can work around it, no problem. I want this to be entirely relaxing for you, okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Louis mumbles again. With Harry's palm still pressed gently against him in a comforting way, Louis can feel himself take the first relaxing breath he’s had in what feels like ages. Harry’s hand slowly slides across Louis’ back and, at the same time, he can hear the sound of massage oil being dispensed. Seconds later he feels the slick, almost hot, oil on his skin as Harry begins working the back of his neck with both hands. Louis concentrates hard on relaxing his body because he can feel so much resistance as Harry continues kneading his muscles.

“Wow, you’re really, really knotted up, Louis. To get some of these knots out, I will likely need to apply significant pressure. Let me know if it’s too much. If we need to, we can work them out over a few appointments at a lower intensity. Either way, I’ll have you feeling better very soon, I promise.”

Louis’ only response is a short grunt into the padded face rest. As Harry begins the work of releasing several months of stress from his body, Louis’ mind starts to become mush. As Harry had warned, the pressure is significant and is actually painful at times but Louis doesn’t mind the pain. In fact, he welcomes it because it’s a nice respite from all of the things that have been clouding his mind of late. All he can focus on is the pain; there’s no room for anything else.

It’s the feeling that comes _after_ the pain that creates a problem for Louis.

Between Harry’s soothing voice and the genuine compassion behind his words, and now the physical release of tension Harry is facilitating in his body, a small but insistent feeling begins to creep up in Louis. As each knot is released, the pain subsides and Louis feels more and more relaxed, almost like he is floating, untethered. He begins feeling more calm and content, and maybe even _cared for_. It’s that last thing, the feeling of being taken care of, that has his thoughts drifting to his mum. Above all else, she made him feel loved and cared for, like he was her biggest priority, even after he became an adult and had all of his younger siblings to care for. And it all just serves to remind him of all he has lost. A sudden and very massive wave of emotions floods over him, and he feels the bottomless pit of grief that he’s tried so hard to deny. The sheer emptiness and incredible sadness is bubbling up in that dark pit inside him, filling up and bringing all the despair closer to the rim. Memories of his mum making it expand and rise up. All the phone conversations, the supportive words, the hugs, the homemade chicken noodle soup when he was sick, the countless other times he relied on her to support him and nurture him. All of that is lost now. _He_ is lost now, without her.

Grief and stress and all of the things he’s buried down deep come tearing through him like a tidal wave. He tries to stop it but that only makes it worse. His chest heaves and tears build quickly until he is overcome and utterly helpless to keep it at bay any longer. His body jerks out a sob he cannot quell. After a couple more sobs escape, he is vaguely aware that Harry’s hands have stilled on his back. There’s seemingly no end to his tears now that they’ve started and all he can think is _I need you, please come back_. _Please come back, Mum_.

Harry’s hands begin to move again but very differently than before. The pressure is gone now, replaced by a comforting brush of fingertips, moving softly and slowly across his back until they stop on each shoulder, ending with a gentle squeeze. Without a word, Harry brings the soft cotton sheets up to the top of Louis’ shoulders, almost like he’s tucking him into bed for the night. Again he gives Louis’ shoulders a slight squeeze through the sheets and quietly leaves the room.

Louis cries until he’s so exhausted he actually falls asleep. At least that’s what he assumes happened when he wakes up sometime later, still lying face down on the massage bed. Hearing nothing in the room, he slowly lifts his head up and verifies that he’s alone. Sitting up slowly and getting dressed, he begins feeling extremely embarrassed about his breakdown. _Of all the fucking times to have a mental breakdown, you have to do it in front of the sexiest man-angel on the planet. Fantastic job, Louis!_ Noticing the sink on one side of the room, he splashes water on his face and attempts to rectify his wretched appearance as much as possible before stepping outside of the room.

And that’s when he nearly trips over Harry who is sitting on the floor just outside the door, obviously waiting for him. “Oh shit! Sorry, mate,” Louis says, face flushing with massive amounts of humiliation.

“My fault. I was the idiot on the floor,” Harry responds as he stands up.

Louis lets out a giant sigh. “So, that was…I mean, I’m really –“

“Louis. You don’t have to explain. It’s actually not the first time that’s happened. Well, it’s the first I’ve seen it but I know plenty of therapists who’ve had clients who’ve…had an emotional release during massage. It’s much more common than you think. Your body and mind can only take so much, and sooner or later it all has to be released somehow. Hey, I barely even got started getting all those knots out and I bet you’re still going to feel better just having let all that out.”

Louis quirked an eyebrow. He wasn’t convinced he felt better just yet, especially standing in front of Handsome Harry with a sleepy face and red-rimmed, puffy cry-eyes.

“I definitely think you should come back so we can work the rest of those knots out though. I know there’s plenty of other fun things to do around here, and I don’t know how long you’re staying, but I’d love to help. You know, if you’ll let me.” Harry smiled at him, the most adorable dimple deepening in his cheek.

“Well, I’ll be here for at least two weeks and I guess I need to fill my time somehow, right?” Louis gives Harry a half-smile before darting his eyes away from Harry’s beautiful green ones. Self-consciously, he drags a hand through his hair, pushing his fringe back.

They set up an appointment for the same time tomorrow and Louis heads back to his room with a light, herbal tea in hand, compliments of Harry and the exclusive Riptide Spa.


	3. Chapter Three

It’s mid-morning the following day by the time Louis wakes up. He had a rather fitful night’s sleep, having had more than a few beverages from the mini bar both before and after ordering a massive room-service dinner, eating only half of it and then finally collapsing on the bed, telly left on. Instinctively upon waking up he checks his phone, thinking he may have missed an important call or an email from a client. Then he remembers where he is and that he was summarily dismissed from his job, and sinks back down into the warm, soft bed.

It only takes a minute for his thoughts to swirl and for the now-familiar pang of emptiness that is his grief to pool inside him. This is exactly why he didn’t want to be left alone with himself last night. He thinks to himself how there’s nothing like lying alone in a dark quiet room to give yourself a pulse check on your life. Whether you want it or not. It was often those first few moments after crawling into bed for the night, or first waking up in the morning, where his emotions would come to the surface, forcing acknowledgement of things he’d pushed away during a busy day. Ever since he was a young boy, he’d used times like this to figure out things about himself and the world in general. He’d come to realize that solitude was a double-edged sword for him. He needed it to refresh and energize himself, provide clarity when things became blurred. But sometimes you want for things to stay blurry because it’s easier that way, easier to ignore. No matter the result, good or bad, even Louis had to admit that these moments were necessary.

It was in moments like these that Louis had come to understand important things about life and about himself. Sometimes those realizations were simple and sometimes they were hard.   He’d learned and accepted that sometimes people choose to leave (when he asked his mum about his dad for the first time and she explained that he hadn’t been ready to handle the responsibility of a family), he’d also learned that some people love you unconditionally and without reservation (his mum), and he’d also come to accept, while lying under the sheets in a dark quiet room, that he was attracted to boys and not at all to girls.

He’d also learned how deeply one can feel loss. The day his mum’s illness became real and he could no longer pretend there was any real chance she’d get better, he crawled into bed that night and the silence became so thick, the darkness so lonely that his denial broke like a dry twig across one’s knee, quick and messy with little bits of it flying haphazardly in all directions. He had never cried so hard in his life, hadn’t thought it could get any worse. But he was wrong because he hadn’t experienced the full magnitude of that loss yet, only the inevitability of it. The day his mum passed, he’d spent long hours working with the various agencies that had been delivering her home hospice care, returning equipment like the motorized bed and oxygen stand, making arrangements with the funeral home and saying goodbye to the home care staff that had been providing the twenty-four-seven care for his mum. Much of it didn’t have to be done that very day but he had wanted to stay busy and didn’t want to face the finality of his mum's empty bed. He hadn’t shed a tear all day, had just kept on the move but the hours were getting later and later and he could no longer avoid going to bed. He lasted about two minutes in the dark room, lying beneath a quilt his mum made in the very bed she had tucked him into night after night for years and years. Two minutes of dark silence and the most hollow, awful, gut-wrenching feeling took over him and he learned that it’s possible to cry so much that your lungs actually burn and you start to wonder if you’ll ever be able to stop. And worst of all, he learned that sometimes a part of you can die even though you’re still alive.

These little pulse checks, good or bad, were at least familiar. And now, today, he’s sat in a large and luxurious suite, finding his thoughts drift to beautiful green eyes, dark brown curly strands falling out of a bun, and adorable dimpled cheeks. There’s an odd warmth that spreads through him, quieting his anxious and sad thoughts, replacing them with the feeling he had while listening to Harry’s voice for the first time last night – calm and cared-for. Instead of tears, this time his body reacts a bit differently, the warmth in his belly heading lower, his cock coming to full attention. _Oh stop being a pathetic twat! It’s not like he’s going to be interested in the head case that lost his shit in the middle of a massage, for Christ’s sake._ With that thought, he forces himself out of bed and into a deliberately cold shower.

A half hour later, he’s all cleaned up and heading down to the main restaurant for breakfast. He’s not sure if he should be dressed better, since this place seems to be a bit high-end, but he can’t be arsed to care. Comfort is all that matters so he dons a pair of dark gray Adidas sweats and a white t-shirt with a navy blue zip-up hoodie over it. A hostess seats him immediately and he’s pleased to see it’s not too late to order breakfast. When he’s devoured half his plate of chocolate chip pancakes, whipped cream and strawberries, the long-haired brunette server checks in with him and asks him if he’s planned out his day. He tells her he hasn’t thought about it much, that he’d likely just return to his room for a few hours before his massage later tonight. She tells him the “Experience Host,” a man by the name of Niall, has just stopped by the kitchens and offers to send him out to provide recommendations for planning his stay. Louis figures, what the hell, he might as well make the best of this mandatory vacation situation.

As it turns out, Niall is a fucking riot. He shows up at Louis’ table two minutes after the server last spoke with him and he just sits right down in the booth across from Louis, making himself at home by stealing a strawberry off of Louis’ plate. Before long the two of them are doing impressions of famous people and throwing food at each other. Niall gives him the skinny on the best activities and the ones that he could pass on without missing much of anything. The former consists mostly of physical, sports-related activities like kick-boxing, dirt biking and table tennis. The latter are most of the kumbaya, commune-with-nature variety like learning to cook with organic vegetables, hot yoga and several of the spa services. Although the major exception to the spa services, according to Niall, is the massage therapy. And not just massage in general, but specifically massages performed by none other than Harry McHotterson. Well, apparently his last name is Styles but that somehow makes him even hotter, so.

“Actually, I had an appointment with Harry last night and another one later today.”

Niall stops pouring salt into a decorative design on the table in front of him and looks up at Louis, smiling. “Oh, so you know exactly what I’m talking about then.”

“Um, yeah.” Louis bites his lip hard and blinks a few times. “It was… He’s very nice.”

Niall laughs and squints in confusion. “Okay… Sounds like there’s a story there but I won’t press.” Continuing with his salt design, Niall goes on, “Harry’s actually my best mate. Known him since we were pimple-faced teenagers who thought we were smarter than everyone.”

Immediately, Louis’ face takes on a pinkish hue. He’s not sure if he’s blushing because of the dirty thoughts he’s had about Niall’s best mate or because, if Harry is Niall’s best mate, then he’s bound to find out about the embarrassing cry-a-thon of the previous night. In any case, Niall doesn’t notice Louis blushing because he’s too intent on playing with the salt and, now, raspberry syrup.

Curious, Louis asks, “Really? And you work together too? That’s adorable.” He tries to make a joke out of it. Making light of things is how Louis survives. It comes in handy, really, because it can be used for so many situations: to make people laugh, to relieve tension, to cause tension, to avoid feelings and situations, and on and on.

Niall looks up from his artistry and grins. “Well, of course we’re adorable. But, yeah, he and I went to high school together. We both happened to move overseas because our parents had job transfers. It was fate. We were both lonely foreigners so we became instant best mates. And, as for working together, that’s something that only happens in the summer, and probably only this summer. I’m a teacher for the rest of the year.”

“Oh, that’s great. I thought about being a drama teacher when I was younger. Somehow I ended up being a lawyer instead. Don’t ask because it’s really not interesting.” Louis met Niall’s eyes, screwing up his face and crossing his eyes, tongue darting out between his teeth.

“I could see you being a great drama teacher. It’s never too late to follow your dreams.” For the first time since he met him, Niall is completely serious, his hands still.

“Tens of thousands of dollars invested in law school would say otherwise.”

“Heh. Happiness is worth more than money any day.”

Louis just shrugs. “So what’s Harry’s story?”

Niall’s eyebrows shoot up. “Harry? He’s always had this sort of free spirit vibe, always curious and wanting to try new things. He’s done a lot of traveling since high school. He’s actually only worked here for about a year now. This place has been good for him though because it fits right into his health-nut, hipster-wannabe lifestyle.” Niall laughs, hands busy with building a toothpick teepee. “And, it allows him to meet people from all over and he’s a real people person. Likes everyone and everyone likes Harry. He’s the most generous person I know. Always doing things for others, wanting to make them feel good. He’s an amazing person.”

“Are you guys…together?” _Oh my God! I just said that out loud!!_ “Sorry, it’s none of my bus—“

Niall is laughing hysterically. He slaps the table and it makes a very loud noise, drawing the attention of the other restaurant customers. When he is finally able to speak again, his face has gone all ruddy and his eyes are still a bit wet with humor. “Mate, Harry’s boobs are not big enough for me, if you catch my drift. He’s the absolute best but I just don’t go that way.”

“Oh yeah, okay. It just sounded…”

“Yeah, I suppose it did. That’s cool, really. Honestly, I’ve often wished I was gay. If I was, Harry would probably be it for me. He’ll make some guy very happy someday.”

 _Oh. Nice to know_ , Louis thinks to himself. _Not that it matters. You’re here for what, two weeks, and then it’s back to reality._ And, to Louis, reality consists of sixty to eighty-hour work weeks and not much time to fit in anything else. Especially with his family situation. Settling his mom’s estate, helping his siblings with various things, financial and otherwise. Just thinking about all of that makes the muscles in Louis’ back tense up.

“What about you, Louis? What’s your story? You said you’re an attorney?”

Niall’s questions bring Louis back out of his head. “Yeah, I’m a partner at Corden, Tomlinson and Payne. I’m the Tomlinson.” Louis flashes an obnoxious, overly wide smile. “Our firm is focused mostly on healthcare law. We handle mergers and acquisitions, and other types of contracts for major health care systems across the U.S. Because healthcare is becoming more and more regulated in this country, there is a ton of work in that area.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah, I guess. I mean, I’m good at it and it pays the bills.” Louis fidgets with the edge of the table, fingers pressing hard against it.

“So what do you do outside of work then?”

“Uh, honestly, not much. There’s not a lot of room for much else.”

“But you’re here so you must be able to get away from time to time.”

“I’d rather not talk about it but, suffice it to say, it wasn’t really my idea to come here.”

“Ah. The wife?”

Now it’s Louis’ turn to laugh. “Nope. No wife for me. I’m not really into boobs, if you catch my drift.”

“Ah, okay. Well, that’s just perfect, actually. Now I don’t have to worry about you stealing any of our hot female guests away from me.”

“Naw. You’re safe with that. But if you find any fit male guests, by all means, kindly send them my way.” Louis winks at Niall, and promptly laughs when Niall winks back.

Niall grabs Louis’ empty plate and begins wiping away his salt and syrup creation, possibly making the mess worse rather than cleaning it. “What do you say we play a few rounds of table tennis while we plan the next week or two of your life?”

“Sure, sounds great. Lead the way.” Louis flashes an open palm, gesturing towards the restaurant exit.

As they head out, Niall looks back at Louis following behind him and says, “Prepare to get your arse kicked. This is my game, bitch, and you haven’t got a chance.”

Louis likes Niall. Things are looking up at the Riptide.  


	4. Chapter 4

Now that it’s time for Louis to head down to the spa for his appointment with Harry, he’s starting to feel a bit anxious. He’s still embarrassed about yesterday’s debacle on the massage table. And, he’s thought about Harry about three hundred times in the past twenty-four hours. So, there’s that. He tries to act casual and cool as he greets the hostess to check-in. As he undresses in the locker room, still leaving his boxer briefs on under his robe, he takes a final look in the mirror to ensure his fringe is just right. He’s being ridiculous, and he knows it.

Waiting for Harry in the lounge, Louis takes large gulps of wine and tries to keep his heart from pounding out of his chest. He really wants to seem like a cool, calm and collected bloke. And really, that’s not far from the truth on a normal day, well what used to be his normal anyway. Harry just happened to see him at his worst.

After what seems like ages, Harry finally rounds the corner into the dimly lit lounge. He greets Louis with a “hey there, Louis” and a killer, dimpled smile. Today his hair is in a half bun with long wavy strands hanging down in the back. If Louis finds it hard to breathe for a moment, he is sure he doesn’t let it show. Louis even manages to smile back at him.

“How’s your neck and back feel today?”

“Still pretty tense. It’s funny, I didn’t really even notice it until yesterday when I booked the appointment with you. Guess it was probably bad for a while but, like, maybe I just got used to it somehow.”

“Makes sense. Your body will naturally try to adapt. When you think about people that have chronic pain, there’s sort of an acclimation to it over time. They build up a certain level of tolerance. But, at the same time, pain is exhausting, so even if you can handle it up to a point, it still wears on you.”

Listening to Harry, Louis can’t help but recall the way Niall described his best mate. Made him sound like he is the male version of Miss America. Sort of perfect and poised at all times, and always benevolent. Here in the Riptide Spa, Harry is probably in his glory, able to dispense all kinds of wellness-related knowledge and advice to help his clients improve their health. Louis had to hold back a smile as he thought about what he’d like to do with Harry, how he’d like to mess up all that perfection. He’d start by feeding him a cheeseburger and fries. Or maybe something messier like tacos or chicken wings drenched in a greasy sauce. Louis would also like to see what Harry’s like when he’s all fucked out and wrecked, begging and moaning in pleasure. _Great, maybe instead of crying during this massage, you can pop a woody instead. That’d be nice and creepy, wouldn’t it?!!_

Harry had started talking about the impact of emotional stress on the body and how, over time, it can be quite harmful to one’s physical health. Louis forces himself to check back into the conversation. “So you’re saying the greasy food, smokes and staying up half the night to play FIFA isn’t part of your suggested wellness program?”

Harry laughs. “Do you think it’s working for you?”

“I thought so, yes,” Louis says with a smirk.

“Oh that’s right, you were doing just fine but then someone didn’t agree and gave you a one-way ticket here?”

“Something like that. My best mate, Liam. He’s a pain in the arse.”

“Or maybe he knows you well and cares a lot.”

“Idiot.”

They both laugh, then Harry gestures for Louis to follow him to the relaxation room so they can get started.

This time Louis doesn’t dissolve into tears. For the entire first half of the massage, when he’s lying on his stomach, he’s able to relax and just let Harry do his magic. The man has extraordinarily large hands and they are quite skilled. Louis has to forcibly keep himself from wondering about what other things those hands might be good at. It’s when Louis has to flip over onto his back for the second half of the massage that makes things a bit more difficult. Harry’s hands are working hella magic and it’s hard to focus on much else. But hey, he made it through that first hellish year of law school just fine so he can keep his brain on track for a piddly forty minutes or so. He spends most of the time thinking about the sagging, wrinkly skin on the back of his Nan’s arms so he can avoid getting hard. It works. _Thank you, Nan!_

After Louis puts his clothes back on and artfully fixes his fringe, he steps out into the hallway to meet Harry.

“How’re you doing?” Harry asks, smiling fondly.

“Feel great. Amazing, actually. You’re quite good at what you do.” To seem more casual than he feels, he jams his fingers into the pockets of his jeans.

“Thank you. There might be a few renegade knots yet to get out but you’ll want to give your body a rest for at least two or three days. If you want to set up another appointment for later this week, we can do that. No pressure. Think about it and you can always call and set it up another time.” Harry is rambling, and seems a bit less confident suddenly. Louis finds it endearing, and certainly intriguing.

“Let’s just set it up right now. I wouldn’t want to risk missing out because Harry Styles, Massage Therapist Extraordinaire, gets booked up.”

“I’d squeeze you in,” Harry says, while flashing a brilliant smile.

 _My God, is it possible he’s flirting with me?_ “Wow, I’m honored. But you might feel differently when you find out that I’m planning to steal your best mate from you.”

“What?” Harry is smiling, but his eyes are squinting in confusion.

“I met Niall earlier and I might have fallen in love with him. That Irish accent really does it for me, and he let me beat him in table tennis.   Date number two is tomorrow: dirt biking.” Louis’ eyebrows bounce up and down a couple of times.

“That two-timing bastard. How could he cheat on me like that, after all we’ve been through together?”

“I’m pretty irresistible,” Louis shrugs.

Harry’s eyes are sparkling and the smile he gives Louis is outrageously beautiful. Louis almost forgets what they’re talking about.

“Let’s set up that appointment, Mr. Irresistible. I’ve got another client waiting.”


	5. Chapter Five

On Louis’ third day at the Riptide Resort & Spa he spends the morning Skyping with most of his siblings. He’s been Skyping with them regularly for years but these days it’s become more and more frequent. Without their mum around to see to their day-to-day needs, he feels more responsible for their welfare than ever. In all reality, even before his mum died, he filled the role of caretaker and provided for them, partnering with his mum to fill any holes that she couldn’t fulfill financially and otherwise. Though he had been living in the States for several years now, ever since he started law school, he’d always checked in with his family regularly and flew back for a visit at least twice a year. Lauren and Lizzie sometimes flew to New York to see him as well, which was nice. Even his mum had visited him there a couple of times, though it was hard for her to get away and flying with all of the younger kids was quite impractical and expensive. He had always helped out whenever he could and now that his mum was gone, it was even more important for him to continue to do so.

Satisfied that they are all doing okay and, in particular, that Dixie and Delia are much improved after that car accident the other day, Louis is able to go out and a have a bit of fun with Niall. The dirt bike track is ace. It’s sort of addictive, really, and Louis knows he’ll be back for more during his stay here. It’s a bit grueling though and he feels like he’ll need several more massages after the jarring falls his body took. It’s possible, however, he’s only making up excuses to justify repeated visits to see Harry.

All in all, he has to admit this forced respite does seem to be good for him. Spending time with Niall is a laugh a minute. That lad is always happy and bubbly, and Louis’ sense of humor only flourishes around him. They get into all sorts of trouble together. After the dirt biking excursion, Niall sneaks Louis into the resort kitchens and they steal desserts from the refrigerator. One of the cooks, a plump woman in her late fifties, catches them. It’s clear, though, that Niall is loved by all the staff so he could get away with murder if he wants to and they’d just pinch him on the cheek or give his arse a pat and send him on his merry way.

On day four, Louis and Niall play 18 holes of golf. The weather is perfect, and Louis is starting to get quite tan with all this time in the sun. In between holes, they haphazardly drive the golf cart around, nearly tipping it over several times. At one point, Louis actually fell out of the cart, adding a couple more bruises to his body. A young lady comes by with a beverage cart and Niall encourages Louis to have a couple of beers with him.

“Can you drink on the job?” Louis asks, squinting in the bright sun.

“Actually, I’m not officially on the clock today,” Niall says, handing Louis a bottle of beer.

“Oh. I didn’t realize, sorry for making you stick around here on your day off.”

“If you’ll recall, it was my idea to putt today.”

“You’ve got it made around here. I would never have known it was your day off. It seems you can just come and go as you please, and do whatever you want. How does one get a gig like that?” Louis takes a long, refreshing swig of beer.

“They put me where they need me. Sometimes I have assigned shifts, teaching or supervising certain activities, and if there isn’t a hole to fill on a particular day, then I just get to float and be the ‘Experience Host.’ That’s what I was doing that first day we met, if you recall.”

“Oh, to live the tough life of Niall Horan, Experience Host. Providing immeasurable ‘experiences’ to all the large-breasted guests at the Riptide.”

“Hey, your breasts are quite inadequate and, yet, here I am with you on my day off.”

“Sometimes it’s not so much the size of the breast but the beauty of the nipples that counts.” Louis tweaks Niall’s nipple, and he yelps in pain and then belly laughs.

“Speaking of beautiful nipples, Harry and I are going out for drinks later. You should join us.”

Louis’ blue eyes crinkle with his smile. “I don’t want to impose…”

“You’re not. Harry won’t mind at all. Come on, join us. It’s karaoke night at our favorite local bar. If you can tear yourself away from this blissful haven for a night, I promise you’ll have a good time. Harry and I are quite talented singers, I’ll have you know. It should be on everyone’s bucket list to see us perform before they die.”

“Oh really? Now this I have to see. Because I am, in fact, the best karaoke artist that’s ever graced this continent.”

“Oh my, such confidence. I feel for you, mate, you’re about to regret those words. There’ll be an army of locals chomping at the bit to judge this competition. You’re on, bitch.”

“Bring it.”

They wrap up their last hole and depart, planning to meet in the Riptide parking lot at eight o’clock.

Back in his suite, Louis decides to fire off some cryptic text messages to Liam, just to fuck with him.

Louis: I’m bruised and battered. Hope you’re happy.

Liam: But it hurts so good, baby.

Louis: I found a new best mate. #You’veBeenReplaced

Liam: ):

Louis: If I wind up doing a drunken strip-tease tonight, you’ll be to blame.

Liam: If that happens, I’ll be proud. And I’ll know you’re having a good time.

Louis: Just remember: Payback is a bitch.

Liam: I look forward to it.

Liam: Pls have someone take pics of the strip-tease. Better yet, video.

As Louis prepares for his night out with his new best mate and his new best mate’s best mate, he mentally strategizes on how to win the karaoke competition. He figures it won’t hurt if he looks a little hot so he chooses his tightest pair of white jeans and an almost equally tight and somewhat see-through gray t-shirt. He also works his hair into a quiff that emphasizes his cheek bones. Satisfied with the sultry look he gives himself in the mirror, he starts ticking through a list of possible songs in his brain. Coming up with the perfect song, he happily locks up his suite and heads down to the parking lot to meet the lads.

Niall told him to look for a black Ford F-150 with red flames on it. He spots it immediately at the back of the lot and heads over. Niall is standing on the far side of the truck smoking a joint.

“Sharing is caring, Niall.” Louis holds out his hand and Niall passes the joint to him.

“If Harry asks, you provided the goods.”

“Oh nice! Blame me then.”

“He’ll go easier if he thinks it’s yours. He hates it when I smoke anything. Though, I think his main problem with weed is that it gives me the munchies. Last Fall I smoked a bowl with this hot Jamaican chick and I ended up eating an entire box of Ho-Hos, a bag of Doritos and a Whopper and fries. Harry flipped out. I sort of threw up on his brand new sofa.” Niall pinches his face up and shrugs. “Although just to warn you, it’s cigarettes that really piss him off.”

“Thanks for the warning. I’ll be sure to sneak my cigs in when he’s not looking.” Louis winks at Niall. “Where is he, by the way?”

“Oh, he’s going to meet us there. Said he had to take care of something at his place real quick.”

“So neither of you two live here at the Riptide then? I just figured maybe some of the staff lived on-site.”

“Naw. They’ll cut us a good rate if we want to do that but, really, it’s nice to get away from your work and have your own space.”

“Yeah. That makes sense.” And, honestly, it’s starting to make a whole lot of sense to Louis. Back in the New York office, he actually chose to sleep there many nights over spending the time to get home on the train. Now that he’s had a few days away from work, and not just to plan a funeral and take care of younger siblings, he’s starting to see the many benefits of having one’s own space. And time away from work, to think and just _be_.

They drive to the bar, a place called Rowdy’s, only about ten miles from the Riptide. It’s sort of a hole in the wall with peanut shells and sawdust on the floor. Louis hasn’t been in a place like this in years. The law firm has a reputation to uphold and clients to impress so the restaurants Louis frequents are all high-end. Driving over here in Niall’s pick-up truck and seeing Niall in this setting, it all just seems right. Niall and Harry are very genuine people. They’re fun and easy-going. Just being in their presence, no matter the setting, is relaxing in a way that Louis hasn’t experienced in quite a while. And sitting in this dive bar with a huge mug of beer in his hand, Louis feels a bit nostalgic for the life he had before law school when it was just him, Liam and Stan, and a couple other guys from his neighborhood, screwing around and planning never to grow up.

“Let’s order some appetizers before H shows up. That way we can get what we want and not be stuck with fat-free dip or some such shite.”

Louis giggles. He’s starting to feel the effects of the weed. And the beer, probably. He has a fleeting thought that he should slow it down a little so it doesn’t adversely impact his karaoke performance.

As Niall flags a server over to their table and starts rattling off an order of fried pickles and Italian nachos, Louis looks around the bar. The people-watching in this place is amazing. You can tell most of the patrons know each other as several move from table to table, even yelling from one end of the place to the other, carrying on jovial conversations. As Louis’ eyes swipe past the far end of the bar, he inhales sharply. Harry just walked into his view. Sauntered in, is more like it. _Holy fuck!_ His hair is down, hanging in perfect waves around his beautiful face. Louis watches as he waves at a couple sitting at one of the tables at the far end of the bar. Harry’s wearing the tightest pair of black jeans in existence and he’s got on a short-sleeved, yellow button-down shirt with the top several buttons undone. Louis can tell when Harry sees them because his eyes light up and he smiles wide, swerving around some people to head straight towards them. Louis takes a massive gulp of his beer and stands up to greet him.

“Hey, Lou.” Harry ignores Niall for the time being as Niall is busy flirting with the server.

“Hi. Barely recognized you with your hair down.”

“Same. Love the quiff.” Harry’s eyes slowly take in all of Louis, from the top of his quiff to the pair of black Vans on his sockless feet.

“Just stepping up my game. Did Niall tell you there’s going to be a sing-off tonight? I plan on winning.”

“Based on looks alone, I’d say you stand a good chance. Still, the competition is…” Harry smirks at Louis. “ _stiff_.”

The double meaning in that word is clear. Louis bites his bottom lip, trying with all his might not to look down at Harry’s crotch in the hopes there’s something very stiff there. Instead, he distracts himself by analyzing the exact shade of Harry’s lips. They are perfectly heart shaped and the loveliest shade of pink he’s ever seen. His white jeans suddenly feeling a bit tighter, Louis quickly takes a seat and gestures for Harry to do the same.

“H! You’re here.” Niall chimes in. “We already put in an order of appetizers. You’re welcome to share, of course.” Niall giggles conspiratorially at Louis.

Harry watches the two of them for a second before pulling out a chair and sitting down at their table. “Have we been smoking something fun tonight, boys?”

The look on Louis’ face is of a feigned innocence.

Niall barks in laughter. “Busted!”

Harry just shakes his head.

The server brings another round of beers for Louis and Niall, and Harry puts in a drink order for himself. A vodka tonic, with a dash of cranberry juice. Niall makes some crack to Louis about nipples and they both giggle like little girls. Louis watches Harry reach across the table for his mug of beer. He brings it to his lips and drinks half of it. Licking his lips, he places the mug back in its original position in front of Louis.

“Thirsty much?” Louis asks, grinning.

“Just trying to catch up. My name is already on the list. I think I’m up next.”

“Okayyyy. Let’s get this party started then, shall we? What’s your song?”

Niall interjects dramatically. “Hey, we’re supposed to be a team! That’s not fair! It’s me and you against Louis.”

Harry shakes his head ruefully at Niall. “Every man for himself.” Harry looks at Louis. “As for the song I chose, you’ll just have to wait and see. But, trust me, the bar has been raised high so I hope you’re prepared.”

Harry drags a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face. Louis is absolutely mesmerized at the sight. Just then a woman makes an announcement into the microphone, letting everyone know that Karaoke is starting and that they need at least three volunteer judges for a special contest. Multiple hands fly up in the air and they end up with six judges. Then the woman calls Harry’s name and he walks to the stage with a sexy swagger and an insane amount of confidence.

“Hi, everyone. Hope you’re having a great night. So, I’m the first of three contestants here tonight. I’m sure you’ll see that I’m the best of them. The other two lads are over there, stuffing their faces and getting shnockered like a couple of idiots. I have a special song I’d like to dedicate to all of you wonderful, beautiful people. Hope you enjoy it.”

Harry’s song is “I’m on Fire” by Bruce Springsteen. His voice is amazing and the crowd loves him. He owns the stage with sultry moves, practically making love to the microphone stand. Then he hams it up, singing directly to a group of middle-aged women seated directly in front of the stage. He’s a massive flirt, even goes as far as sitting on the lap of one of the ladies. They eat it all up, of course. When the song ends, the crowd cheers, hoots and hollers for him. Harry soaks it all up with a gorgeous grin as he bows to the crowd, and throws kisses at the ladies. Louis is endeared, in awe, and a lot turned on.

Harry returns to their table and he and Niall fist bump. Louis holds up a hand for a high-five. Harry takes his seat across from Louis but immediately turns toward the stage as the karaoke hostess calls Niall up next.

Niall takes a running leap onto the stage and adjusts the microphone stand. “I guess that wasn’t too bad, H. But, I’m ‘bout to knock yo’ ass out of the park!” He waits for the crowd to quiet down then he says in a much quieter, much sexier voice, “This here is a little ditty for Sandy, the most beautiful server at this fine establishment.” The music starts up and the crowd responds with laughter and cat calls as they recognize the song. It’s Madonna’s “Like a Virgin.” And, of course, Niall sings it with every hand motion and hip thrust he’s got in his toolkit. He’s got a decent voice, though this song doesn’t do much to show that off. And, overall, it’s more of a comedic performance than anything else. But still, it’s great because it’s Niall. Louis is a huge Niall fan.

Harry is also a Niall fan. During Niall’s performance, Louis watches Harry almost as much as he watches Niall. Harry has this seal bark laugh. It’s hilarious in and of itself. Equally as enthralling as his laugh is Harry’s smile and the obvious affection he has for his best mate. About halfway through Niall’s song, Harry turns to Louis and says, “Are you rethinking your choice of song now? You’ve got to bring your A Game.”

“My song choice was spot-on even before I knew what the two of you were going to sing. Trust me, I’ve got this.”

As Niall’s song ends, he jumps off stage with heels clicking in mid-air and hands strumming an imaginary air guitar. The crowd cheers loudly. Niall goes straight for Sandy, kissing her on the cheek and then whispering something in her ear that makes her laugh. When he returns to the table, Harry gives him a hug and Louis gives him a noogie.

And then it’s Louis’ turn to be called to the stage. By now, the crowd is expecting quite a show so they are hooting and whistling at him as he approaches the stage. Louis just shakes his head, wondering what the hell he’s gotten himself into. He thanks any and all higher powers that he is both drunk and high. Grabbing the microphone, he smirks in the direction of Niall and Harry. “Before I start, I’d just like to thank my fellow contestants. They really are fantastic people. Within only minutes of meeting Harry, for instance, he made me cry.” Louis watches as Niall looks over at Harry questioningly. Harry just shrugs, smiling. “And Niall, well, since I’ve met him I’ve gotten numerous bruises all over my body and have come close to getting kicked out of the place I’m staying for destroying property and other petty misdemeanors. So thanks, lads.” The crowd laughs along with the boys. As the room quiets down, Louis says, “On a serious note though, it’s been a fun few days so, really, thanks. This one’s for both of you.”

Louis’ song is “Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia. It’s not particularly sexy and it’s not hilarious either. Louis picked it because he likes the song and he thought he could sing it fairly well. He loves to sing but he’s a bit self-conscious about his voice. The alcohol and weed help with that. And before long, he finds he’s just as comfortable as he always was on stage, back in his high school theater days. He infuses some drama into his performance, throwing shade at Harry while he blatantly sings to him “he showed me what it was to cry,” the crowd cheering him on. He also plays to the crowd, serenading random patrons with various gestures and stances. He caps his act off by lying on the stage towards the end of the song and crooking his finger at Harry and Niall, beckoning them as he sings “I’m cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor.” And, of course, Harry and Niall are only too pleased to join Louis on stage. They actually both attack him, covering him completely with their long and lanky bodies. He can barely get out the last couple lines of the song, both because he can barely breath underneath them and also because he is laughing too hard. All in all it was a decent performance, he thinks.

Now it’s time for the judges to deliberate for a moment. They write something down on a piece of paper and deliver it to the karaoke hostess. She reads it as though she’s reading the decision of a grand jury. “In the matter of Rowdy’s Karaoke Night Impromptu and Strange Karaoke Contest, the elected judges have found the winner of said contest to be…..drum roll, please…..Harry-The-Boy-That-Makes-Other-Boys-Cry-Styles!!!” The crowd erupts in a coordinated chant, “Speech! Speech! Speech!” After a moment’s hesitation, Harry goes up on stage and accepts a fake award (a red plastic solo cup with a plastic flower pen in it) and bows for the crowd. “I’d like to thank my mum for letting me take voice lessons when I was fourteen. I’d like to thank my sister Gemma for encouraging me to not go after a career in singing.” He pauses until the room quiets again. “And lastly, I’d like to thank the two idiots I’m here with tonight. Niall, you’re the best. I love you. And Lou, you’re cute even when you’ve been crying so it’s all good.”

A few minutes later, they’re all back at their table together. Niall is extremely giddy, his performance having somehow provided him with additional energy Louis wouldn’t have thought humanly possible, especially with so much alcohol and weed in him.

“Lou, you really should go back to your original career path. Drama is your thing!” Niall tells him.

“Yep, I know. I’m depriving the world of my enormous talents!” Louis quips, a bit sarcastically.

“I’m not kidding. You should have seen how your eyes sparkled when you were up on that stage.”

Harry interjects, “What’s this? You wanted to be an actor?”

“A drama teacher, actually. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked performing in my high school plays but I always wanted to teach and, of course, I liked the idea of being in charge of the shows. You know, directing and that.”

“So how in the world did you end up becoming a lawyer?”

“It’s what made sense at the time. There wasn’t a lot of money in the family when I was growing up and there were lots of mouths to feed. At some point, it started to seem impractical to go into a profession that didn’t pay a lot. And, as it happened, my best mate’s dad was a lawyer and gave me an internship at his law firm. I ended up being quite good at it, actually.”

“I have no doubt that’s true.” Harry looked at him thoughtfully. “Niall’s right though. Being up there seemed so natural for you. You came alive.”

“You the mon, Loueh!” Niall gets up and slaps Louis on the back and excuses himself from the table, leaving Louis and Harry to share a laugh over Niall’s silliness. Niall seems to have an agenda tonight. The two men watch as he heads directly over to the bar where Sandy is mixing drinks.

“Is he always on the prowl like this when you two go out?” Louis asks, both curious and amused. He takes a sip of his beer.

“Um…yeah, sometimes. He’s definitely going all out tonight.” Harry shrugs, smiling. “Niall’s the best. He’s a barrel of laughs and he’s got a huge heart. I’m lucky to have him in my life.”

“Yeah, it’s been fun hanging out with him the last few days. A good distraction for me.” Louis’ smile gets smaller and his eyes have a hint of sadness in them.

“The life of a brilliant lawyer not all it’s cracked up to be?” Harry smiles warmly at Louis, before looking down at his hands, fingers busy with his plastic cup trophy.

“It’s not my job that’s the problem. Well, not really.” Louis grips his beer bottle tightly.

Harry looks up at Louis again. “What is it that you need to be distracted from, then? I mean, if you don’t mind my asking.”

Louis sighs, and smiles with one side of his mouth. “It’s okay. I probably owe you an explanation after losing my shit in front of you the other day.”

“No, you do not owe me a thing. I just….You seem like a great guy. After all, my best mate has practically ditched me for you. And, I guess I’m just curious because, the crying episode notwithstanding, you seem pretty put together in every other way.”

“I should get Liam on the phone right away and you can tell him how put together I am!” Louis pulls his phone out of his pocket, jokingly.

“Who’s Liam?” Harry’s eyebrows are furrowed. Louis can’t decide whether it’s just confusion that has Harry’s face all screwed up or something more.

“Liam is my best mate since we were like five years old, and one of the partners in my firm. He’s the one who sent me here, made me take a forced leave from work. All because he didn’t think I was very put together.”

Harry’s eyebrows return to their normal straight and sexy position. He is quiet for a few seconds and then laughs. “Does he realize you’ve been hanging out with Niall, wreaking havoc all over the place?”

“I didn’t give him any specifics but I did let him know he’s been replaced.”

“Oh sure, you and Niall just run off together. Don’t worry about the rest of us cast-offs, all alone and friendless.”

Louis laughs, “If it’s meant to be…” He shrugs.

Harry shakes his head but his lips are pressed together, holding in a smile. “Alright. We got off track. Liam sent you here because you were a mess at work? What, were you losing cases? Showing up drunk – or wait, high? Day after miserable day? Somehow I can’t picture that being the case.”

“God, I wish that was the extent of it. But, no.” Louis’ lips form a tight smile and his eyes take on a distant look. “Um, about six months ago my mum was diagnosed with liver cancer and she died a few weeks ago.”

“Oh Louis. I’m so, so sorry.” Harry reaches across the table and grips Louis’ wrist in a comforting gesture. “God, and here I was cracking jokes about stupid, trivial things.”

Louis gave him a sad smile. “It’s okay. How would you know?”

“I’m really close with my mum. I can’t even imagine. It must have been awful for you.” Harry says, still holding on to Louis’ arm.

“Yeah. To be honest, I think it’s still sinking in. In fact, that felt so weird actually saying it out loud.”

“I bet.”

“I was so busy for months trying to help her through treatments, ease her pain and her mind in any way I could. And then there were my sisters and brother to take care of, all younger than me. My dad’s been out of the picture since shortly after I was born. I’ve had a couple of step-dads through the years but the last one passed away four years ago so I’m the one they’ve relied on.”

“God, are your siblings young then?”

“There’s quite a range in age. The oldest is Lauren and she’s three years younger than me. Then there’s Lizzie who’s eighteen, Delia and Dixie are twins and they’re twelve, and Oliver and Olivia are also twins and they’re six years old. They’re all in London, staying with Lauren for now. Well, except for Lizzie because she’s away at Uni.”

“So your job suffered while you were handling all that?”

“Actually, I managed it pretty well until recently. Our offices were in New York but when mum got sick I moved back to London, cut my case load down a bit, but worked pretty successfully from my mum’s house. It wasn’t until after the funeral when I came back to New York and then had to move our offices to Minneapolis that I let things slip a bit. To be honest, I didn’t even realize things had gotten that bad. I think I was in a depressed haze or some such. And a few days ago I showed up for work late _again_ and found Liam in my office and the rest is history.”

“So, what, he just told you to come to the Riptide?” Harry looks a bit amused. He finally pulls his hand away, placing it back in his own lap.

“Basically. He rattled off a list of things I had screwed up since coming to Minneapolis. I mean, nothing too major – it’s not like I lost any clients but it all added up I guess. And, like I said, I didn’t really see it. But, as he was telling me all that, and I was denying it all of course, I looked down at my wrinkled designer suit, saw that I missed a button when I put on my shirt that morning, and slowly started realizing he was right. That was the same day of my embarrassing breakdown at the spa.”

“Totally understandable.” Harry shakes his head, thinking. Then he looks at Louis, eyes lighting up as he says, “I bet your mum was amazing. Did you get your good looks from her?” Harry turns on the charm, dimples practically shining like diamonds.

That makes Louis smile, though he tries to hide it. Harry is just so….unexpected. He’s well-mannered and charming, incredibly open and compassionate. Louis isn’t used to that, he’s always kept his emotions to himself whenever possible and most of the people he’s around are in a professional setting and act much the same. “She was beautiful and, yes, amazing. Incredibly supportive and just, so good to me. Always.” He bites his lip, trying to contain the emotion that’s bubbling up at the thought of her.

“I’m glad you had her. Sorry it wasn’t for as long as it should have been though.” Harry smiles suddenly then and continues, “You know, Niall calls me ‘mum’ frequently. He likes to give me shit because I worry about his recklessness sometimes. So, just saying, you’re welcome to call me mum too.”

“Um….I think I’ll pass on that. But thanks?” Louis laughs a bit.

“Okay, suit yourself,” Harry says, with a laugh. Then, getting serious again, “Thanks for sharing that with me, Louis. And if you ever want to talk about her, or anything else, I’m here.”

Louis gives him a small smile in response, not able to find the right words to explain just how much Harry’s sincerity and compassion touches him. He clears his throat and makes a job out of repositioning himself in his chair instead.

Niall returns to their table a moment later and it’s obvious the alcohol has taken full effect. He’s slurring his words and has limited control of his limbs as evidenced by how he falls unsystematically into his chair and almost spills a full mug of beer all over himself. After some prodding from Louis and Harry who notice his puffy lips, Niall admits to snogging Sandy in the alley out back during her break. The three lads hang out for a while longer, laughing together and enjoying each other’s company.

Eventually it becomes evident that Niall is not going to be able to drive home. As the most sober of the three, Harry insists on driving them both. He tells Louis that he and Niall don’t have to work until at least noon the following day so that leaves them plenty of time to come back and pick up Niall’s truck sometime in the morning.

They decide it makes the most sense to drop Louis off first. Back at the Riptide parking lot, with Niall passed out in the back seat of Harry’s Audi, Louis thanks Harry for allowing him to tag along tonight.

“I’m so glad you could come, and I hope we can do it again.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” They smile at each other, their eyes locking for a few seconds longer than necessary.

“Hey, you have another appointment with me tomorrow evening, right?”

“Oh. Yeah, yeah, that’s right.” Just the thought of Harry’s hands moving across his skin again is enough to give Louis goose bumps. And maybe cause other physiological situations as well. He tells himself it’s just the weed that’s making him so horny.

Harry winks at Louis, and Louis blushes like an idiot. They both realize they’re staring at each other again and, finally, Harry says, “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He tips his head towards the backseat. “I better get this idiot home.” They both laugh.

“G’night, Harry.”

“’Night, Lou. Sweet dreams.”

It takes Louis a while to fall asleep that night, thoughts of green eyes and a warm, dimpled smile infiltrating his brain and driving him crazy. But when he does sleep, he dozes more peacefully than he has in months.


	6. Chapter Six

Louis wakes up with a hard-on too intense to be ignored. He does what any self-respecting, desperately horny man would do: he wanks ardently. Possibly while thinking about Harry’s big, beautiful hands all over him.

And that’s when he starts wondering if another massage by Harry is a good idea or a very, very bad one.

He bums around his suite lazily, opting to order room service for lunch instead of going down to one of the resort’s restaurants. As he’s watching his second episode of _The Walking Dead_ , his phone rings and he can tell by the Wonderwall ringtone that it’s Liam. He reaches across his fluffy-as-a-cloud bed to grab his phone off the nightstand.

“This better be good because you’re interrupting my reflective meditation session.”

“Yeah? Let me guess. That involves you falling asleep with the telly on and a half-eaten burrito in your hand?”

“Close, just replace burrito with nachos.” Louis scoops up the salsa that has dripped onto his joggers with a chip, salt getting everywhere.

“So what do you think of the Riptide?”

“Jury is still deliberating. It’s probably going to take a few more wine tastings, dirt bike races, and maybe another massage or two before all the facts can be analyzed and conclusions drawn.”

“Good. So you’re staying put?”

“Yes, for now. How are things at the firm?”

“Nope, that’s not a topic up for discussion. Tell me about your new BFF, the one who’s replacing me.”

“Niall.”

“Niall? That’s his name? Are you sleeping with him?” He can hear the smile in Liam’s voice.

“He is madly attracted to me but, unfortunately, he’s saving himself for marriage. I told him I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I offered the guy who works the front desk ten dollars for a blowie but he demanded $100 which is just highway robbery, even if he is outrageously attractive.”

“Christ. Can you just cut the shit for two minutes? I want to know how you’re doing. Since you obviously need reminding, I will do so: _I_ am your best mate. That means nobody loves you more than me. Talk.”

“Ya know, I think you may need this place just as badly as me, Mr. Uptight and Serious.”

“Probably. Maybe I’ll join you if you stay long enough, yeah?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want you and Niall fighting over me. It could get very ugly.”

“So what’s he like? I need to know my competition.”

“He’s a fluffy-haired, bleach-blond lad with an uncanny ability to make people adore him even while he’s taking advantage of them. He works here and basically has everyone wrapped around his charming Irish fingers.”

“Hmm. I can see why the two of you might get along well.”

“He does seem to like me. Not like _that_ , Liam. I’ve not got the right anatomy to suit his fancy.”

“Too bad. I was hoping you’d get laid. Would probably do you a world of good. It’s been a while, yeah?”

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re hot for me, Payno, because you spend an excessive amount of time thinking about the frequency at which I have sexual relations.”

“Just looking out for you, Boo-bear.”

“And who’s looking out for you, huh? Me, that’s who. So, Li,” Louis’ voice takes on a serious tone. “What’s happening with Sophia?”

Louis can hear Liam sigh into the phone. “She’s moving out of our flat in London. She’s living with her sister until she can get her own place.”

“So that’s really it, huh? You really don’t think you’ll work it out?”

“No, Lou. It’s done. It’s sad but, when I really think about it, neither one of us was happy. I mean, we just sort of went through the motions together. We could have stayed together and spent the rest of our lives that way but I’m really glad we didn’t. Life is too short for that. I want more for myself and for her. I want someone who makes me feel alive, makes me want to do more and _be_ more. I want someone who loves the good parts of me and also understands and accepts my not-so-good parts. And all of that should work both ways, ya know?”

Louis is quiet, lost in thought. He thinks about a certain massage therapist and the electricity he feels coursing through his veins every time they’re in the same room. He also thinks about how open and friendly Harry is, and how he seems to care about people even if he doesn’t know them really well. He’s such a beautiful person. And, for fuck’s sake, Louis even tried a vegetable smoothie earlier in the day, just because he was thinking of Harry as he walked by the smoothie bar. It was awfully disgusting, but.

“You still there, Lou?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I’m sorry you haven’t been happy. You deserve the absolute best and if Soph wasn’t that for you, then I’m glad you’re moving on.”

“I’m okay though, really. And, just so you know, all those things I just said I wanted? I want those things for you too.” Liam laughs. “Basically, I want you to find the gay version of me. Someone who loves you as much as I do, who sees who you really are under all that sarcasm and sass.”

“The gay version of you? Hell no.”

“You’re a handful. You know that, right?”

“You miss me and you know it.”

“Of course. Now get off your arse and find a fit pool boy or something.”

“Can’t. I’ve got a massage appointment tonight. Which may or may not be with a fit massage therapist.”

“ _Nice_ , Tommo! You go, girl!”

“Alright, idiot. I gotta run. So much to do with my busy schedule of painting classes and organic body wraps.”

“Fine. Tell Niall hi for me.”

“Will do. Love you.”

“Love you too, ‘bye.”

Mid-afternoon Louis finds himself down at the main lobby, talking to Zayn about self-important paralegals. Louis had stopped by to get signed up for more dirt biking and Zayn relayed a story about an ex-boyfriend who was into amateur motocross, trying to become pro. They’d met through the guy’s sister who was a paralegal, as was Zayn, at a law firm that Louis was more than familiar with, having competed for clients against them. Anyway, it was a surprising story, considering Louis’ initial impression of Zayn was that of a daft lad who he wouldn’t have, under any circumstances, placed in a law firm. So Louis isn’t always right about people, sue him.

“So I take it you didn’t like being a paralegal?”

“It was alright. For a while. My adoptive parents got me the job through a good friend of theirs. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do. Luckily, they are patient and understanding. I’m really lucky they took me in. I’d probably be selling drugs on the streets of Chicago by now if they hadn’t.”

“Wow. How old were you when they adopted you? If you don’t mind my asking.”

“Oh no, that’s cool. Um, I was about thirteen when they took me in and fourteen when the adoption became final. To be honest, they saved my life. I owe them everything. They’re quite wealthy. I’m still trying to get used to the idea of having so many options, you know? Never had choices like this before, and now that I do….I guess I just don’t want to squander them.” Zayn sliced open a shipping box of resort pamphlets and started removing stacks of them at a time, placing them on the desktop in clear plastic display holders.

“So what about you? You like being a lawyer then?”

“Yeah. It’s alright.” Louis can hear the disinterested tone of his own voice and it makes him huff out a small laugh. Zayn is looking at him with an expression of confused amusement. “It’s strange when you’ve devoted so much time and effort to something and then, when you’ve had a chance to step away from it, you start to see it a bit differently. Hearing your story makes me realize that maybe I just ended up in this line of work because there was a clear path and it was quite practical. Maybe I’d have chosen something different if I had felt like I had more options at the time.” Louis squeezes his eyes shut briefly and shakes his head. “I’m probably not making sense. Anyway, yeah, my job is good. I’m lucky to have been able to be a partner in my own firm before I even turned thirty. Not a lot of lawyers can say that.”

“Right. That’s pretty impressive. All the partners at the firm I worked at were at least in their mid-forties.”

“Well, if you ever decide you want to get back into that line of work, you should contact me. I could hook you up.”

“Oh wow, thanks, bro. I don’t think it’s likely. I think I’d like to explore something a bit more creative, artistic. But, like I said, it’s always good to have options. So yeah, thanks a lot for the offer.”

“Absolutely. Guess I’ll go get some sun before my spa appointment. See you around.”

Zayn wished him a nice day and gave him a warm smile and a wave.

Louis walked away feeling a bit inspired and decided to take a walk through the resort gardens. After spending a good chunk of the day inside his resort suite, it felt good to have the sun on his face. The walk also gave him time to think about what Zayn had said about having options. Louis wouldn’t have thought it possible a few days ago when Liam was kicking him out of his office but, after having a few days of R & R, Louis was starting to see things a bit differently. Maybe a bit more clearly.

The last several months of Louis’ life were a blur. All of his time and energy had been focused on his mum and his job. He now knew so much about the plethora of cancer drugs available, their various purposes and numerous side effects. He was also quite knowledgeable on hospital beds and IV drips, hospice providers, health care directives and so on. Hell, he felt he could even proficiently guide someone through the process of selecting caskets and arranging funerals, buying burial plots and memorial stones. All of these things, and the smells that came along with them, forever engraved in his brain, flashing before his eyes here and there as he goes about his days, whether in the office or here at the Riptide. He supposes it’ll be a while before he can properly dismiss them from his memory but he looks forward to forgetting most, if not all of it.

But though Louis may wish to forget all of those things, he will never want to forget his mum. Even how she was at the end. Because forgetting any part of her whatsoever would be nothing short of devastating to him, and certainly a dishonor to her and everything she meant – means to him. He dreads the inevitable fading of her in his memory over time and vows to keep it always fresh and real inside him. _God, I miss you,_ he thinks to himself as he passes a beautiful display of pink hydrangeas, her favorite type flower.

Choices. Options. The idea of being totally free to make decisions about one’s own life -- a proverbial path to go down, a job to take, the right person to spend your life with – based solely on one’s own personal interests, without putting the needs of others before their own? For the first time Louis realizes these are things he has never done. Most of the major decisions he’s made in his life were based on the impact the decision would have on his friends or family. His mum needed his help in raising his younger siblings so much of his decision-making centered on what was best for them – or her. He took a job at Liam’s dad’s law firm because Liam was so excited about the idea of working with him, and because Louis knew the job would pay well and the bills were mounting up at home. Later, he went to law school instead of pursuing a career in teaching as he originally had planned, because he already had two years of experience in a legal office by then and knew working as an attorney could provide him with a stable financial future by which he could adequately provide for his family.

In fact, when he really thinks about it, he has to admit the only somewhat selfish decision he’s made was to focus his law career on U.S. healthcare law. He did this primarily to give himself a bit of breathing space, some independence, from his family while being able to earn enough money to take care of them financial as they needed it. Louis knew a career like this in the States would be lucrative and would also allow him some much needed space while still being close to Liam, who had always loved the idea of living in other parts of the world. Through most of his time in law school, his mum had been married and, as a result, had more financial security. However, by the time he’d graduated and had started the firm with James and Liam, his mum’s marriage was over and the distance became difficult as he felt, once again, the weight of responsibility for her and the kids.

All things considered, he’s devoted most of his life to his family. And now that his mum is gone, the pressure of being there for his siblings is that much stronger, for the four youngest of them especially. Lauren, the oldest, recently got a good paying job in advertising and married a brilliantly successful businessman just last year. Louis wants her to concentrate on her marriage and new career and not have to focus so much on the others. It’s not fair to ask her to make sacrifices when she’s just starting out. And anyways, Louis thinks, he’s used to taking care of them all. Doing so, from afar, without his mum, that would be tricky. That’s why, not long after the funeral, he told Liam he’d be working from London permanently. He’d sacrifice his own needs for a few more years, just long enough for the kids to get a bit older and more independent themselves. He’ll get through it and figure out what to do with his life afterwards, after they’re all taken care of properly. If nothing else, this time off at Riptide so far has taught him that taking a small break occasionally is helpful and maybe he can manage to do that for himself once in a while. That’s something, right?

As Louis rounds another corner in the walking path, he can hear Harry’s voice. He sounds a bit emotional. “Thanks for calling, Gem. I’m so, so happy for you.” As Louis takes the last couple of steps along the corner of the path, he can see Harry sitting on a stone bench under an awning of ivy. He slows his gait, not wanting to disturb him. “Please take care of yourself and I’ll see you soon, yeah? Love you.” Louis watches as Harry ends the call and puts his phone away, at the same time wiping tears from his cheeks.

“Harry?" Louis says softly, not wanting to startle Harry.

Harry looks up at him, eyes lighting up in recognition. “Oh hey, Lou.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Harry gestures towards the phone in his pocket. “My baby sis – she just called to tell me she’s expecting. It’s her first, only been married for like a year or so. I’m just so happy for her, you know?”

“Oh, that’s great! You’ll be Uncle Harry.” Louis smirks at him. “Bet you’ll spoil that kid rotten, won’t you?”

“Of course! I’m going to start shopping right away. I love kids, always wanted one of my own, but this will be even better. All the perks and none of the responsibility, right?”

Louis’ breath is knocked right out of him because the smile on Harry’s face? It’s simply too fucking much. It’s so bright it’s almost blinding and yet Louis can’t look away. He’s struck by this person before him, this beautiful man, who is so full of love for others. It puts a strange feeling inside Louis’ stomach, a little like butterflies, but mixed in with something like fear. Louis frowns, unable to discern what he’s feeling while at the same time not wanting to feel anything at all, a sudden need to protect himself over anything else. And, just like that, Harry’s smile goes away and Louis feels the loss of it like a punch to the gut.

“Louis? What’s wrong?” The concern in Harry’s voice snaps Louis out of his thoughts and gets him breathing again.

“Oh. I’m fine, really. So happy for you. And your sister, of course.” Louis smiles because he wants Harry to smile again. Harry should always smile. The world needs more smiles like Harry’s.

“You just out enjoying the weather?”

“Yeah, I had a lazy morning in my suite and forced myself to get out a bit before the sun goes down. Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

“Yes.” Harry stands up and smooths out the wrinkles in his shirt and pants. “I’m just on break and, actually, that phone call went a little long so I should really get back. I’ll see you later tonight, right? Six o’clock?”

“Um, yeah, actually I think I should cancel. Think I should let some of the bruises from my fun with Niall heal another day or two or it won’t be much use because there’s probably only like forty percent of my body unbruised at this point.”

“It’s not that bad, is it?”

“Louis yanks up his joggers, showing Harry some huge bruises along his calf and thigh, then lifting up his shirt and showing more of the same along his rib cage and back.”

Harry reaches out and touches him, fingers creating tiny sparks to ignite all across Louis’ skin. “Jesus, Lou. What were you guys thinking?”

“It’s all in good fun.” Louis forces a smile to cover up his body’s reaction to Harry’s soft touch. He lets down his shirt so Harry will pull his hand away. “Tomorrow we’re zip-lining. Unless I take a fall or something, I don’t think I’ll be adding to my collection of bruises.”

“Better not. Take better care of yourself. And same goes for Niall or he’s going to get an earful from me.” Harry’s eyebrows are ruffled. “I better get going. Make an appointment when you’re ready, yeah?”

“I will, thanks. Sorry to cancel last minute.”

“It’s fine. Have a good night.”

“You too, Harry.” Louis waves and Harry smiles before turning around and jogging back up the path toward the main building.

After tearing his eyes away from Harry’s retreating form, Louis sits down on the bench and stares at the ducks that have congregated on his side of the pond. There’s some peace in watching the way they float across the water, an occasional bob here and there as their beaks peck at something in the water.

He sits there waiting to see how long it takes his heart to slow down to normal. There’s a feeling of relief inside him at having cancelled the appointment with Harry. Yes, his body is bruised up and it probably made sense to cancel for that reason but there’s more to it than that. There’s a magnet pull or something that makes him want to lean in to Harry, just _be_ with Harry and he’s never felt that way before and isn’t sure what to make of it. Or what to do about it.  

During the next couple of hours, Louis spends a considerable amount of time thinking about Harry. Or rather, a considerable amount of time trying _not_ to think about Harry. Doing a short workout in the resort’s fitness center, chatting again with Zayn for a few minutes while he got signed up for a few more activities, and even going to the gift shop so he could buy a book to read and further distract him from thoughts of the green-eyed babe. None of those things helped to wipe Harry from his brain, not even for ten minutes. And now Louis is frustrated.

And confused. If he is supposed to be using this time to de-stress, he isn’t sure obsessing about a cute boy, and getting all frustrated as a result of it, is going to help him. Frankly, it seems like trading one problem in for another. Especially in light of the fact that he is only here on a temporary basis so getting involved with someone right now is simply a bad idea. He spends the rest of the evening drowning out any further thoughts of Harry with more _Walking_ Dead episodes.


	7. Chapter 7

The zip-lining adventure is a whole other level of exhilarating. It gives Louis an adrenaline rush like he's never experienced before - even the recklessness of dirt biking with Niall somehow pales in comparison. The rush he gets is powerful but, more than that, it's the way the experience makes him feel incredibly….. _free_.

The aerial obstacle course and zipline takes about two and a half hours to complete because, of course, Niall chooses the most difficult level, the one that clearly states on all of the signage that it's only for those who have completed all three basic and intermediate levels Even the adventure guides stationed at the main entrance aren't able to hide their shock as Niall pushes Louis down the path toward the Beastly Blackbelt level.

All in all, Niall is a great guide. He's hilarious, as usual. When he’s not joking about detaching Louis’ safety harness, he’s regaling him with stories of his recent romantic conquests. He talks him through the various set-ups, gives him advice on how best to maneuver through each of them. When they come to the highest point in the course, Niall tells Louis to stop and just look down. Knowing they had been on a gradual climb for the past twenty minutes or so, Louis had actually been trying _not_ to look down. He does as Niall asks though, and notices they are even higher than he had thought.

“Okay, you might think I’m crazy but I’m dead serious right now. If you want to feel free – like, really truly free, you gotta jump.”

“ _What?_ ” Louis searches Niall’s face, looking for a smirk or some other sign that he is joking. Because they are really fucking high up right now and there is no damn way he is jumping.

“Seriously. I do it every time I come up here. It’s scary at first but I swear you’ll thank me afterwards.”

Louis continues staring at Niall, wide-eyed, pressing his lips tightly together in a thin line.

“Haven’t you ever bungee-jumped before?” Louis shakes his head, biting his lip. “When you’re falling it’s like there is nothing else in the world. All the problems you thought you had when your feet were on solid ground, they just disappear. All of your focus is on the rush of falling and the air that hits your skin as you break through it. There’s nothing else like it, it’s just you and the feeling of pure, exhilarating freedom.”

“You. Fucking. Twat.” Louis knows he’s screwed. He can see just how serious Niall is. In fact, he’s never seen Niall like this before. The wild look in the guy’s eyes are all he needs to realize that in a few short moments he’s going to be jumping blindly off this platform into oblivion. Probably to end up with all of his bones crushed in a dusty pile on the ground below them. All for this scrawny-legged Irish mother fucker.

“You’ve already got the safety harness on. All you have to do is disengage this rope from the line above, clip it to your harness like this,” Niall clips it on his own harness in two spots, continuing on with a smile, “then you just jump. Like this.”

Louis’ heart practically explodes out of his chest as, just like that, Niall jumps off the platform, letting out a yelp in the process. Louis peers over the edge, watching the rope spring Niall back upwards just as it looks like he’s going to hit the ground. “Fuck!” Louis gasps.

It takes a minute or two for Niall to stop swinging and then he disengages himself from the bungee cord and makes his way back up to the platform where Louis is waiting.

“Damn, that is a fucking thrill! You’re going to love it, Tommo!”

While Niall manually pulls up the bungee cord left hanging from his fall, Louis tries to keep calm by repeating mantras over and over in his head. _Don’t be a twat. Don’t be a twat. It’s not that high. It’s not that high._

At the sound of the clip attaching to his harness, he opens the eyes he didn’t realize were closed and sees Niall’s bright, shiny smile. “You can do it Tomlinson. I have faith in you.”

Before he can think about it any longer, Louis steps to the edge of the platform and forces himself to take a big leap out into the open space. “Holy fuuuuuck!”

After a few seconds of sheer terror, Louis understands exactly what Niall was talking about. He lets go, sort of hands everything over to fate and just enjoys the sound and the feel of the air rushing past his body as the cord bounces him around a bit until gravity wins and he’s able to detach himself and jump down. He’s laughing, a weird and uncontrollable mix of excitement and relief, and he can hear Niall laughing way up on the platform above.

“You’re welcome!” Niall sing-songs down at him. Louis can’t stop himself from laughing enough to spout off a witty reply. Instead he hightails it back up to the top of the platform so he can jump again. And again. Four jumps in all. Niall is absolutely right; the fall is _freeing_. For that small period of time when he’s moving through the wind, all his problems disappear into nothing. It feels invigorating. Enlightening. It makes him feel like he can conquer fate somehow, as though letting go allows him to actually take control. He isn’t sure his thoughts are making sense anymore but he doesn’t care. It was just so goddamn fun. Louis hugs Niall, this fluffy-haired goofball who has somehow become an important person in his life in such a short period of time. He is so grateful for the laughs they’ve shared. Louis wants more of all of this in his life.

The day was physically exhausting though and Louis is sure that he’ll be feeling muscles tomorrow that he never knew he had. After a long shower back in his suite, he decides to head down to the hotel bar and grab a bite for dinner, fully intending to head back up to his room for a night of marathon telly and a Skype session or two with his sisters. As he rounds the corner into the main lobby, he can see Zayn chatting animatedly to a hotel guest. He throws his head back as a massive laugh escapes his lips. Watching this, Louis is intrigued. He’s chatted Zayn up several times since the initial check-in debacle and has come to enjoy his company. He isn’t surprised that others would as well.

Or, at least he wouldn’t have been so surprised if the person Zayn was laughing so unreservedly with was Liam. Seeing Liam’s face Louis abruptly stops in his tracks. His eyes are lit up, full of mirth, like he looked ten or fifteen years ago when they were much younger and spent most of their days bumming around Doncaster planning practical jokes on their friends or family. But it’s not just the smile and laughter that hits Louis; it’s the way Liam is leaning slightly over the counter as though he’d like the counter to shrink underneath him so he could move in just a little closer. To Zayn. To Zayn?

Louis is about to turn around, suddenly not wanting to interrupt them. Not that he knows exactly what he’d be interrupting. But as he steps backwards, he bumps into another resort guest.

“Oh, sir! Excuse me,” the female guest says loudly.

“My apologies, ma’am. Clearly I wasn’t as aware of my surroundings as I should have been.” He shoots her a warm smile, hoping to diffuse the anger he hears in her voice.

“Right,” she responds with a tight smile and continues walking through the lobby in the direction of Zayn and Liam who have now directed their attention to Louis.

“Tommo!”

Louis approaches the front desk where the two are eyeing him with matching goofy grins.

“You didn’t say you were looking for Mr. Tomlinson,” Zayn says, turning his attention back to Liam.

“Well, we didn’t get that far, did we?” Liam says, smirking.

“Zayn, I thought we were on a first name basis.” Louis interjects, still scrutinizing the situation.

“Oh sorry, I forgot….Tommo.” Zayn’s stupid grin is now for both Liam and Louis’ benefit.

Louis grabs a mint from the bowl on the counter. “Are these spiked with something funny? You two are acting odd.”

Liam and Zayn exchange a quick glance before Liam changes the subject. “We need signatures on a couple new contracts and I thought I’d just bring them by myself. Thought it was the perfect excuse to check up on you.”

“Thought we caught up over the phone just the other day.”

“Hmm. Over the phone is one thing. In person is much better.

“Right. Well, I was just heading down to the Riptide Bar & Grill for dinner if you want to join me.”

“Perfect.” Liam turns back to Zayn, a twinkle still in his eye but slightly subdued from a moment ago. “Zayn, it was a pleasure. I’ve got some paperwork to manage with your guest here. Maybe I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, likewise. I’m here just about every day so…” Zayn bats his eyelashes.

Louis starts walking down the corridor towards the bar, feeling like a third wheel and confused as hell about it. He thinks surely he misinterpreted what he just saw.

Liam follows in silence. I fact, they don’t speak a word until the hostess seats them at a high-top table near the bar. Picking up the menu from the table, Louis takes a quick glance at Liam over the top of it, looking for some answers in his expression.

“You look rather chipper, Payno. Anything you’d like to share?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just glad to see my best mate.”

“So you missed me, is that it? You could have sent those documents by courier quite easily.”

“Yes, of course, but then I wouldn’t have been able to grace you with my presence and see for myself if you’re getting the sort of break I had in mind for you.”

“I told you, it’s been good. I’ve got Niall to lad around with and can stuff my face, take long showers and watch hours and hours of telly in bed. What more can a man ask for?”

“You do look a bit different. More alive. And Jesus, you’re tan as fuck!”

“I have been putting to good use all of the amenities you and James paid for. That’s what you wanted, yeah?”

“Yes, absolutely. But not just so you can check them all off the list and then run back to the office and pick up where you left off, juggling a massive caseload and an insane amount of family responsibilities. Tell me it’s sinking in a bit. That you are starting to see why I sent you here.”

“I am starting to see things differently." And then, because evasive is his middle name, "You, in particular. What was that in there, with Zayn?”

Liam’s face contorts, “I have no idea what you’re on about.”

Louis quietly studies Liam’s face. His best mate looks a little uncomfortable but he’s holding his ground. Maybe Louis imagined the flirty body language between them. In any case, Liam clearly isn’t willing to discuss it any further, so Louis decides to drop it.

“So you want my signature then?”

Pulling a manilla envelope out of his briefcase, Liam says, “Yes, just the standard contract templates for three new clients and a couple of amendments for existing service contracts. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

The two discuss work briefly before Liam pushes the topic aside, asking Louis about his latest exploits with Niall. Louis tells him about the zip-line and bungee-jumping.

“It’s clear that you’re getting out of this trip exactly what I was hoping you would. Lou, I haven’t seen this much light in your eyes for years.”

“Yeah, it’s been good, really good. A bit cathartic, to be honest.”

“Hell, maybe I should have checked _myself_ in here!”

“You should stay for a while. Hey, Niall and I are having drinks tonight at that karaoke bar I told you about. You should join us!”

“I gotta be at the office tomorrow, so…”

“So stay the night and drive in a bit late tomorrow. I’m sure you can move an early meeting if you need to. Come on, it’ll be fun. And you can meet my new bestie.” Louis gives Liam his best crinkly-eyed, scrunchy-nosed smile.

“How can I refuse that adorable juvenile face of yours? Fine, you got me for the night.”

At that, Louis wags his eyebrows and winks at his long-time friend.

After dinner the two head back to Louis’ suite where they pop open a couple cold beers before heading over to the bar to meet Niall. On their way past the front desk, Louis notifies Zayn of their plans and tells him he should stop by for a few drinks after his shift if he isn’t busy. Liam is quiet during the conversation but Louis notices the two exchanging smiles.

When they arrive at the bar, Niall is already sitting on the lap of a gorgeous blonde. Louis leads Liam over and extricates Niall from the woman’s lap.

“Sorry, young lady, but this man is taken.”

“Awww, Lou! You’re such a jealous bastard! You know there’s plenty of me to go around.” Niall notices Liam standing just behind Louis and tilts his head to the side, trying to eye him up. “My, my, this handsome lad must be my competition, I presume? Liam, is it? Sorry mate, but Louis is rather deeply enamored with me and it’s doubtful you’ll be getting him back anytime soon.”

Liam steps forward and reaches out a hand to shake Niall’s. “Ah, I don’t know about that. See, this little chap and I go wayyyyy back. If nothing else, I could easily blackmail him with all the dirty little secrets I hold dear. Not that it would be necessary, of course, seeing as how he misses me so much he practically begged me to stay overnight with him.”

At that, Niall turns his attention to Louis, a new sort of glimmer in his Irish eyes. “Louis, I didn’t realize I’d have to offer you more than just my Irish charm. If you let me stay over tonight, I’ll show you a particularly big Irish charm the likes of which you’ve never seen.”

“Alright, you twats! I’ve had enough of your ridiculous banter. Niall, you’re into big boobs and I’ve got none of that to offer. And Liam, you’re into…. _something_. But I know I don’t have it, whatever it is, so let’s move on to something more important, shall we? Who’s going to buy me a drink?”

Zayn shows up about an hour later, a broad grin on his overly attractive face. Liam is a bit tipsy by this point and starts acting strange, giving Louis more attention than is necessary or normal. In fact, if it weren’t for Niall and his incessant ability to make everyone laugh, the situation would have become entirely awkward.

Unfortunately, Niall only hangs around them for little bits of time in between flirting with various women all over the bar. At one point just after Niall returns to their table after having disappeared for the past twenty minutes, he and Louis are reminiscing about old Fear Factor episodes when Niall’s face suddenly changes from a glimmering smile to a cold, hard stare in the direction of the main entrance. Louis immediately turns to see what could have caused such a reaction in his new mate.

The bar is incredibly crowded so it takes a moment but then he notices Harry who seems to be speaking to someone near the bar. He can’t make out who it is because there is a thick, wooden support beam blocking the person from Louis’ view. Harry, on the other hand, is quite visible and Louis is immediately distracted by the way Harry’s almost see-through button-up clings to his front, showcasing his gorgeous pecs and abs, puckered nipples practically popping through the fabric. The sound of Niall uttering a couple of four-lettered words reminds Louis why his neck was craned towards the bar in the first place. He still can’t get a proper view of who Harry’s with but he can see the person’s arm as they repeatedly reach out to touch Harry as they continue talking. He can see enough of the person now to know it’s definitely a man but that’s about it. Looking back at Niall, he sees that his jaw is tight and his fists are clenched.

“Mate, do you want to fill me in? You look like you’re about to throw a few punches.”

Niall slowly drags his gaze back to Louis and Louis is instantly relieved when the blond man’s eyes seem to clear a bit. “That guy is a fucking sleaze bag who is always trying to get down Harry’s pants. I don’t know why the fuck Harry’s here with him but I’m putting an end to it.”

Niall jumps up but Louis grabs his wrist before he’s able to take two steps. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to rush over there. Let’s just give Harry a few minutes. I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.”

“If he knew what he was doing he wouldn’t be with that bastard at all. Harry’s far too nice and trusting for his own good. He’s always getting asked out and says yes to everyone, I swear. Some people just aren't worth the time though and this guy sure as fuck isn’t.”

Louis looks back in Harry’s direction and sees him ordering drinks at the bar. Harry catches his gaze, a quick smile appearing until he notices Niall and his expression gets serious right away. Niall and Louis watch as Harry pulls his phone out of his pocket, continuing to talk to the mystery sleazebag, and a few seconds later Niall’s phone is vibrating.

Niall reads the screen and rolls his eyes. “He’s telling me to chill out, that he’ll be over in a minute.”

“Okay, then let’s sit you back down and finish our beers.” Niall sits, his body language still conveying a strong desire to jump across the table and pound into the guy.

Louis tries to infuse some humor into the situation. “Remind me to never get on your bad side, big guy. You’re a bit scary, really. I hope they bring Fear Factor back because I’m pretty sure no one’d ever win that show again if Angry Niall was the fear they had to overcome.”

Niall gives him a dry smile. At least he is only occasionally glancing in Harry’s direction now. As they resume their conversation, Louis can’t help but glance over at Harry a few times as well. But for somewhat different reasons than Niall. It feels weird to see Harry with another guy – a guy that wants to get down Harry’s pants, no less. A feeling not unlike jealousy creeps over him and he suppresses it quickly because he knows it’s undeniably absurd.

“Jesus Christ!” Louis hisses as Liam, seemingly from out of nowhere, throws himself down onto Louis’ lap, kissing his cheek.

“I missed you, Lou-bear. Life is so dreary without my cheeky little sarcastic mate.”

_Yep, still acting strange._ “This from the man who exiled me here himself.”

“Ah, but only to bring some sunlight back into your life so you could come back refreshed and back to your old chipper and handsome self,” Liam says, pinching Louis’ cheeks and planting a kiss on his nose.

And, of course, that’s the moment when Harry finally decides to join them.

Louis looks past the boy in his lap to see Harry standing next to him, eyebrows raised but smiling just the same. As Louis does his best to disengage Liam from his lap, he watches as Harry and Niall exchange a few words. They seem to be arguing but then Harry hugs Niall and whispers something in his ear, making him laugh. All Louis wants is to talk to Harry so he looks for a way to distract Liam. He can see Zayn across the table, his dark eyes following Liam’s every move.

“Zayn, have you told Liam about your circus days?” Louis is always good for remembering small bits of unnecessary information. He happily uses this little tidbit gleamed from a previous conversation with Zayn to get Liam temporarily out of his way. And off his lap.

Niall and Harry are still talking when Louis walks up next to them. The butterflies are back in his stomach but he’s determined to fight through it, the urge to be near Harry too great. Harry gives him a gorgeous smile and he finds it quite easy to smile right back

“Hey, Lou.”

_Is it possible to crawl inside a dimple? Because that sounds amazing right about now_.

“Hi," Louis responds, forcibly pulling himself from his thoughts. "Are you free to join us now?”

“Yes, he’s done humoring that asshat,” Niall interjects.

“He’s a client, Niall.” Harry rolls his eyes at Niall, then looks at Louis. “We just happened to arrive at the same time. He wanted--”

“Hey, no explanation necessary.” Louis plays cool. Or, tries to.

Harry squints at Louis, still smiling. “So…” Harry points towards Liam. “Do I get an introduction, or…?”

“Oh, of course.” Louis shouts at Liam who is now on the other side of their table next to Zayn. It takes a couple of tries to peel his gaze away from Zayn but, when he does, Liam notices Harry and perks up noticeably. _For fuck’s sake, is he suddenly hot for every man he meets?_ “Hey, Li. This is Harry. He’s Niall’s best mate and a world reknowned masseuse working at the Riptide. Harry, this is Liam my former best mate who was recently replaced by Niall.”

“Oh, don’t let him fool you, Harry. I guarantee he’ll forget all about Niall as soon as he leaves La-La-Land and heads back to the Real World. The massages, on the other hand, I’m not so sure he’ll forget.”

_Really, Liam?_ Louis shakes his head. He thinks his friends are all crazy. “Okay, so now everyone’s met. Let’s cut the shit and get down to the real business of the night. My beer is empty and I’d like to know who is going to run across the bar and get me one of those baskets of popcorn while I refill this mug.”

“I’ll volunteer,” Niall pipes up. “I’ve been meaning to woo the beautiful popcorn girl anyway.”

Niall walks off, leaving Harry and Louis standing together so close their elbows are touching. The two make eye contact and smile.

“Shall we?” Louis nods toward the bar, still in need of another beer. And also something to keep his hands busy so he doesn’t do something stupid like reach out and touch the tip of a tattoo that’s peeking out from under Harry’s button-up which, ironically, isn’t very buttoned-up.

“So tell me about your zip-lining adventure.” Harry’s lips edge up into a half-smile as he walks with Louis, brushing up against him as he dodges other patrons in the busy bar.

“The zip-lining was fun but it was the bungee jump that did it for me. Oh god, it was incredible. I think I fell more in love with Niall, actually.” Louis pauses while Harry laughs. “Seriously though, I’ve never felt anything like it. I can’t even put it into words properly. I’m still just reeling from how freeing it was.”

“Wow. You might actually be in love with Niall.”

                It’s Louis’ turn to laugh now. It’s crowded up at the bar so they find a spot to wait for the bartender’s attention. “I mean, it’s hard to describe. It’s just--I guess it’s becoming more and more clear to me that I haven’t really been living, you know? At least not for myself. And not that what I’ve done up ‘til now has been a mistake or anything but maybe Liam was right to send me here so I could find some kind of balance.” Louis runs his hand through his artfully messy hair. “Or maybe I really am just in La-La-Land and when I leave here I’ll just return to what I know. Am I even making sense? I’m sure I sound like an idiot to someone like you.”

                “No, you don’t. And what does that mean, ‘someone like me?’”

                They have to pause their conversation because the bartender is available to take their drink orders. Handing Harry his drink, Louis guides them over to an empty corner of the bar that he hopes will make it easier for them to hear each other over the loud crowd. Responding to Harry’s previous question, he says, “I just mean that you seem so incredibly well-balanced. You do the things you love and you take care of others at the same time. You make it seem so easy. You’ve got to just look at me and think, ‘what the fuck is wrong with this tosser?’”

                “There’s nothing special about me. Actually, I feel pretty selfish most of the time. I mean, I do try to make other people happy, yes, but pretty much everything I do is for me when it comes down to it. And I’ve never really had any real responsibilities so I’m free to be selfish for the most part. At least at this point in my life.” Harry is quiet for a moment before adding, “And, as for what I think about you? I think you’re a highly intelligent and caring person who has devoted a lot of energy to those he loves. And aside from it sometimes being to your detriment which, obviously, is not a good thing, those are very admirable qualities. I think you’re much harder on yourself than you ought to be. And, yes, I think you deserve more and, if your time here has helped you to realize that, then I’m very happy for you.”

                Louis can’t help but smile at Harry’s kindness and sincerity. And besides, the smile Harry is giving him is probably equally as big. Before thinking it through, Louis blurts out, “Sometimes I think this place is all a dream and I’m going to wake up and find out that people like you and Niall don’t actually exist.” Harry looks confused so Louis continues, “I deal with a fair amount of unethical and just plain greedy people in my job and, because there hasn’t been much to my life outside of my job – I mean, other than my family, of course – I guess I forget that there are other kinds of people in the world. Like you and Niall. I’ve laughed more this past week than I have in so many years. So, thank you for that.”

                Harry opens his mouth to say something but a sudden flurry of popcorn kernels is thrown at Harry by a laughing Niall. The three of them find their way back to the table where Liam and Zayn are practically in each other’s laps. Upon seeing them, Harry looks at Louis with a quirked eyebrow. Louis just shrugs in response and slowly approaches them. When neither of them bother to notice their arrival, Louis makes a commotion out of placing the basket of popcorn on the table directly in front of them. “Lads! We have popcorn!” Louis promptly tosses a few kernels at Liam’s head while putting a handful in his mouth. Harry grabs a handful and starts a game of tossing them into Louis’ open mouth. After a few tries, some successful and others needing to be fished out of Louis’ hair or shirt, Louis glances over to Zayn and Liam again to find them watching. In particular, Liam is watching Louis. Ugh, he can just hear all of the questions Liam will be throwing his way when they’re alone in his suite tonight.

Louis sees a flash of blond hair out of the corner of his eye and happily focuses his attention on Niall who has just jumped on Harry’s back, practically causing him to fall over. The rest of the night is full of laughs and hijinks and probably a bit too much beer for all of them. Well, except for Harry who doesn’t seem to drink alcohol all that much. And although Louis had put quite a few down early on, he slowed his roll a bit when it became quite obvious that Liam was going to be a handful tonight. Ever the loyal friend, Louis intends to get him safely back to the Riptide.

Harry leaves the bar just before midnight, giving everyone, including Liam, a hug goodbye. When it’s Louis’ turn he leans closer to Louis and says, “I have some slots still available tomorrow if you want to book an appointment _._ Or something _._ ” And the look on his face is a bit flirty. But Louis isn’t totally sure if it’s just wishful thinking on his part.

“Yeah, I’ll get on that.”

“Good. I hope you do.”

Then Harry hugs him and leaves Louis wondering if it’s just him or if his hug from Harry was slightly longer than all of the others’. And, _fuck_ , his body may have reacted a bit strongly to it. Louis has all he can do to hide his boner from Liam’s watchful glare. The rest of the gang hangs out until half past twelve when Louis finally manages to drag Liam away from Zayn long enough to tell him he wants to leave. Louis watches as Liam and Zayn exchange phone numbers before Zayn kisses him on the cheek. Zayn winks at Louis when he notices him watching. Louis narrows his eyes in response, grabs Liam by the arm and ushers them outside, bidding Zayn, Niall and the popcorn girl on the latter boy's lap goodbye.

Back in Louis’ suite, both he and Liam prepare to retire for the night. The bed is huge so Louis invites Liam to sleep with him because he knows the sofa isn’t big enough for Liam’s long legs. Besides, they’ve slept in the same bed hundreds of times over the years and Louis has long since learned to drown out the sound of Liam’s odd snores. As they crawl into bed, Liam brings it up. Louis knew he would.

“So Harry is a looker.”

“A _looker_? Really?” Louis focuses on making fun of Liam’s choice of words, hoping to deter this conversation.

“Deny it all you want but I’m no idiot. The way he looks at you. The way you look at him. The private little chat in the corner that lasted for ages. By the way, Zayn mentioned Harry is quite single.”

Louis is laying on his back, looking up at the ceiling, trying to decide whether to ignore Liam completely or just fess up and get it over with. After a moment, he sat up, facing Liam. “Fine. I’ll make you a deal. You tell me what the hell is going on between you and Zayn and I’ll talk about Harry.”

In response, Liam rubs at his eyes with both hands and rakes his fingers through his hair. “Okay, but I’m turning out the light for this chat.” He flips the switch on the nightstand lamp and Louis hears him reposition himself under the covers before he begins with a big sigh. “I don’t really know what’s going on, _if_ anything’s going on with Zayn. I only know that I’m wildly attracted to him and, no, he’s not the first guy I’ve ever found attractive.”

“How the fuck has this never come up before? I’ve known you forever, Li.”

“I know, Lou, I know. Fuck, I’m sorry. It’s not like – I mean, I’m totally attracted to women. It’s not like I’ve been pretending or anything. I’ve never done anything with a guy. It’s just a thought in the back of my head that’s been there since…forever, basically. I’ve just ignored it and it’s been relatively easy to do because I’ve always had a girlfriend. But, maybe on some level I was purposely denying myself, ya know? Like always having a girlfriend so I wasn’t tempted by anything else. I don’t know. All I do know is that today, when I first saw Zayn, I had an instant hard-on.”

Louis stays quiet, not sure if Liam has more to say. His mind is running a million miles a minute, trying to absorb this surprising information about a person he's known since they were both in nappies.

“Well, come on, then. Say something, Lou.”

“I’m not sure whether I should be insulted or not. I mean, clearly you were never attracted to me.”

Liam huffs out a laugh. “You’re like a brother to me. No fuckin’ way.”

“Same.” It was quiet for a moment, then Louis rolls over on his side to face Liam. He takes a breath and decides to ask the question that has been plaguing him all night. “Li, I have a question for you and I really want you to answer honestly. Even if you think the answer might hurt me.”

“Okay. Spit it out.”

“Do you think you’ve been denying that part of yourself because deep down you think it’s wrong?”

“No, Lou. I don’t think it’s wrong. I’ve never thought less of you, not for one second. You know that. It’s just…It’s always bothered me what certain people would say. Like mostly my parents, I guess. They’ve never said anything bad about you to me, but you know they are big into their church and everything. To them, it is wrong and, I mean, they’re my parents, Lou.”

“Okay, I understand. So, what about Zayn? I saw you two exchanging numbers. Are you going to call him sometime?”

“Fuck, I don’t know. I mean, I sort of want to but…ugh, I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Well, for one, he’s probably the hottest guy who ever existed.”

“And that’s a problem why?”

“I’ve no fucking clue what I’d be doing and I’d make a fool out of myself.”

“So tell him the truth. Tell him you’ve never been with a guy. If that bothers him, then it stops before anything happens. And if it doesn’t bother him then, who knows, maybe if nothing else, he can teach you a thing or two. God, I’m sure it would be fun. You said it yourself, he’s hot as fuck.”

“Why didn’t you go for him?”

Louis laughs, remembering his first impression of Zayn. “Let’s just say I feel more like a big brother to him or summat. He’s fun to talk to but that’s where it ends. I mean, I did have a passing thought about him after I first saw him but, honestly, that’s all it was. I do think he’s a nice guy though. If you like him, why not spend a little time together, see what happens? He seems quite interested in you.”

Liam says nothing, lets out a long sigh.

“The other day you said you weren’t happy with Sophia, not truly. You were just going through the motions with her. I mean, what if being with a man, Zayn or someone else, is how you get the kind of happiness you’re looking for? You won’t know unless you try, right?”

“Alright, I get it. I need to take a taste of my own medicine.” Liam slaps his arm down onto the fluffy duvet. “Okay, enough about me. Your turn. What’s happening with Harry?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.” Louis flips onto his back again, watching how the moonlight is cast across the ceiling.

“Did you fuck him?” Liam asks, head turned to the side so he can look at Louis.

“No.” Louis rubs his hand across his chest, feeling his heart beating like crazy underneath.

“But you want to.”

“Of course. You’ve seen him.” Louis looks over at Liam who is now propped up on his elbow, facing Louis and smiling. “It’s not just his looks though. I mean, he’s an amazing person. He’s so kind and gentle. And alluring as fuck.”

“Tell me you’ve at least been flirting with him.”

“Not really. I mean, there’ve been a couple of times where it seems like there’s a spark between us. And tonight at one point it seemed like – maybe? – he was flirting with me. I don’t know. It’s hard to tell because it’s been ages since I’ve flirted with anyone and I’m just not sure if I’m seeing something that isn’t there just because I want it to be, you know?”

“He looks at you like he wants to tear your clothes off. You’re not dreaming it up, trust me.”

“I’m not so sure. Besides, according to Niall, it’s not like Harry is celibate or anything. He dates quite frequently so I would think, if he was interested, he’d say so.”

“Well, I say go for it. You’re madly attracted to the man. See if you can make it happen. Live a little, please? That’s what this trip was supposed to be about. I want you to be happy. What do you have to lose?”

But Louis thinks he has plenty to lose by getting involved with Harry. Because it’s more than just a physical attraction. And considering his track record with losses, he’s not sure it’s wise to gamble on this one. “Yeah, maybe.”

Liam lays down and gets settled under the blankets, facing away from Louis on his side. Louis does the same.

“Li?”

“Yeah?”

“If there’s a part of you that wants to explore this thing with Zayn, you should listen to that part of you. You should give it a chance. Nothing has to happen that you aren’t comfortable with.”

Liam rolls over to Louis’ side of the bed and cuddles up to him. “Love you, Lou.”

“I love you too.” Louis squeezes him back. “Now get to sleep. It’s late and you have to work tomorrow. Don’t want you pissing off any of my clients while I’m away.”

After another minute of silence, Liam says out of the blue, “Does Niall know you want to bang his mate?”

“Oh god,” Louis groans. He doesn’t know what Niall would think and he likes Niall too much to want to find out.

“Good. I have nothing to worry about then. He won’t be competition for long.” Liam laughs until Louis hits him over the head with a pillow.


	8. Chapter 8

A rude and unnecessarily loud phone alarm goes off in the morning, after what seems like five minutes of sleep, and Louis fees Liam drag himself out of bed and prepare for his long drive back to Minneapolis. Louis vaguely recalls being kissed on the forehead before drifting back into blissful sleep for a few more hours. Now it’s nearly noon and he figures he should get his lazy bum up for the day and make himself somewhat useful at least.

Before coming to this conclusion, however, he had spends about forty minutes mulling things over in his brain while cuddling into the five million thread-count sheets, coming to another conclusion as well. The butterflies return to his belly once again and, before he can chicken out, he makes a phone call to cement his decision.

Later, after an amazing room service breakfast of crème brulee French toast, eggs benedict and a plate of fresh fruit, Louis has a Skype date with Lauren to catch up on the family haps in London. He's relieved to hear that things are going relatively smoothly. Lauren and her husband are doing a fine job of running the younger kids to their respective after-school activities, with Lauren’s in-laws helping out a time or two as well. He reminds her he’ll be home by the end of August and will be able to help out with those things.

“Thanks, Lou, but I’m really glad you’re off doing something fun for a change. Don’t worry about us so much, we’ll manage. Just relax and enjoy a much deserved break from everything.”

“I am enjoying myself. I admit I was working too much and it was all a bit overwhelming. This trip has taught me how important it is to make some time for fun. But obviously, you lot are very important to me so if you need me, just call, okay?”

“Of course,” Lauren replies. “I need to get some things done around here before I send Olivia and Oliver off to bed so I’ll talk to you soon okay? Give Liam a kiss for me when you see him next. He’s such a great friend to you.”

“Yeah, okay, Sis. Love you, ‘bye.”

With things under control at home, Louis starts to relax a bit more. He has a few hours to spare so he goes for a jog throughout the grounds, taking advantage of the lovely summer weather. After showering he puts on a pair of dark wash denim shorts, ones he knows make his bum look quite nice, and a light blue t-shirt that shows off his collarbones and tattoo. Perfecting his fringe one last time, he slips on a pair of grey Adidas shoes and exits the suite. He has an early dinner out on the Riptide Grill patio before making his way over to the spa. There's a nervous edge to him but, all considering, he feels he's keeping himself together despite the mounting anticipation.

Checking in with the spa hostess, who recognizes him and chats him up a bit as she walks him to the locker room, he prepares himself for his appointment with Harry.

When Harry saunters into the lounge area, Louis is sipping some iced water and pretending to be engaged in the Mpls St. Paul magazine he is holding. Looking up at the sound of Harry’s deep voice he is struck once again by the man’s incredible radiance. Today Harry’s green eyes seem extra bright as he walks toward Louis, his dark curls loose to his shoulders and bouncing with each step.

“Hi, Lou.” Harry smiles brightly.

Louis smiles so wide his cheeks hurt. “Hey, H.”

Putting down the magazine, Louis stands up. As their gazes lock again, Louis tries to look for signs that Harry might, too, be feeling the thrum of electricity between them. But before he can draw any conclusions, Harry asks him about his day. Louis runs through the list of things he did, all the while using the opportunity to take in the lovely sight before him. He watches the way Harry’s curls sway and bounce with his laugh, the way his eyes glitter with each smile he lends to Louis. He tries but fails to avoid looking at the large patch of smooth, tan skin exposed by the open buttons of Harry’s shirt. Through it all, Louis can feel his heart rate increase and his palms getting slightly damp in anticipation of what’s to come. Eventually the polite chatter wraps up and Harry gestures for Louis to follow him into one of the treatment rooms.

As soon as Louis walks into the room, Harry starts to leave, saying, “You know the drill. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Louis can feel his heart racing. It’s now or never. “Harry, wait!”

Harry stops abruptly at the urgent sound of Louis’ voice and turns around, eyebrows slightly furrowed. “What is it?”

“Um….” Louis waves Harry back into the room with his hand. “Can you close the door?”

Harry looks at Louis, very concerned and confused. “Sure,” he says softly and calmly.

Louis exhales loudly while palming his eyes. Then he looks up at Harry who is standing just a couple of feet in front of him. He gives Harry a small smile, trying to reassure him so the worry will leave his beautiful face. “Harry, I….I can’t do this.”

“The massage, you mean?”

“Yeah. Um, I don’t think it would be right for me to go through with it because…ugh, how do I say this? Let’s just say, if you put your hands on me right now, I’m not going to be thinking about light rainfalls or lying on a sunny beach somewhere. The truth is, all my thoughts will be of the inappropriate variety.” Louis shakes his head, making eye contact with Harry whose eye brows are still a bit ruffled though there’s a slight curl to his lips. Louis swallows loudly. “I’d be thinking about the things I want your hands to be doing that aren’t really part of a professional massage.”

At that, Harry’s confusion clearly dissipates, and Louis watches him try to suppress a smile by pressing his lips together tightly. It doesn’t work.

“Yeah, I know. It’s kind of funny. First I cry like a baby, then I tell you you’re more beautiful than anyone has a right to be.”

Harry barks out a laugh, unable to stop it. “Actually, I didn’t hear you say that last part.”

“It was implied.” Louis rolls his eyes. “I realize I’m one problem after another. I’m sure it makes me quite desirable.” Louis looks down at his bare feet and fiddles with the belt on his robe.

“I don’t think the present situation qualifies as a problem,” Harry says.

“No?” Louis asks, looking up to meet Harry’s eyes again.

Harry shakes his head, still with a wide grin plastered across his face. “Well, there is one problem, and that is that I have one more client today so I can’t haul you off to mine quite yet.”

Now it’s Louis who is smiling broadly.

“Go get dressed. It’s distracting as hell having this sort of conversation with you while you’re practically naked and I’m on the clock. If anyone asks I’ll tell them you weren’t feeling well and had to cancel last minute, and that I’ll be on break until my next client. Meet me outside on the Orchard path, near the pond. We can take a walk. I mean, you know, to talk. If that’s okay with you.”

“Um…okay. That sounds great, actually. See you in a few.”

Harry winks at him, and Louis blushes. _Get control of yourself, you knobhead!_


	9. Chapter 9

Harry is already waiting for Louis by the time he makes it out to the pond. He is sitting in the grass with his back leaning against a boulder. When he sees Louis, his face lights up. Louis holds out his hand as he approaches. Harry takes it and Louis pulls him up so they are standing face-to-face, just inches apart.

“Am I cheating on Niall, hanging out with you like this?” Louis says sassily.

“He’s very forgiving.” Harry gestures ahead of them on the path. “Shall we?”

As they walk, Louis forces himself to focus on the setting around them, his way of easing his own nerves. The sun is just starting to set and it’s very quiet, no other resort guests or employees in sight. The only sounds are those of frogs and grasshoppers somewhere between the pond and the walking path. There are fish in the pond and, because the water is very clear, they are easily seen as they swim around looking for the food resort guests often provide. All in all, this is a lovely place but Louis has a feeling it’s Harry’s presence that makes it infinitely more lovely.

They walk in silence for a bit but it’s not awkward at all. And it gives Louis time to let it sink in that they’re out here, alone on this walking path, because Louis just confessed his attraction to the man. It’s exciting and scary all at once. He doesn’t have much time to fret over his inexperience in these types of situations because Harry breaks the silence, asking questions about Louis’ siblings.

Louis tells Harry about each of them, about how he’s close with Lauren since she’s closest to his age but that Lizzie and he have always had a special relationship, probably because their personalities are the most similar. With so many siblings, it’s easy to fill up the time but it isn’t all Louis doing the talking. Harry talks about his sister Gemma, how close they are and how happy he is about her impending motherhood. Louis thinks it’s adorable how excited Harry is by that news. Having helped to raise most of his siblings, Louis has a great deal of experience taking care of babies. He shares a few of the crazier stories with Harry, enjoying the way Harry seems so interested. The best thing of all is how Louis feels every time he makes Harry laugh. It brings him a magical sort of joy. The kind of joy a little kid gets when they first see all of the gifts Santa left for them under the tree.  

Eventually they have to turn around and start heading back toward the main building of the resort so Harry can be back in time for his next and final client of the day. Just before they make it to the trailhead where there is a large clearing in the trees which will make them more visible to the main building, Harry stops suddenly, grabbing Louis’ hand in the process.

“Um, I just…” Harry bites his lip and there is a crease between his eyebrows.   “Do you want to go back to mine after I’m done here for the day?”

“Yeah, I do. I thought that was the plan?” Harry’s hand is hot over his. Goosebumps pop up as Harry’s thumb brushes across the back of Louis’ hand.

Harry’s face lights up, his teeth releasing his bottom lip as his smile gets too wide to hold it. “It was. I guess I’m just making sure you haven’t changed your mind.”

“No, no, I haven’t,” Louis responds, maybe a little too fast.

“Okay, that’s, um, good. And just so you know, I -- I mean, I go out a fair amount but I don’t make a habit of bringing Riptide guests home with me.”

Louis thinks he might be dying. This beautiful man in front of him is unreal. He has to loop his thumb into his belt loop to keep himself from brushing the curls away from Harry’s cheek. “I wasn’t making any assumptions.”

“Okay, well….I’ll be home just after nine so if you want to come over any time after, like 9:30, that would be great. Can I have your phone number? I can send you the address.”

They exchange numbers and Harry goes back into the building first, separately from Louis who decides to walk over to the game room to kill a little bit of time. He knows if he goes back to his room too soon, he’ll go crazy with anticipation. He’s only played a couple of video games when he gets a text from Harry: _Sure, the one time I hope for a no-show and the client shows up twenty minutes early!_ _L_

Louis texts back right away: _Well, what are you texting me for? Hurry up and do your magic on them so they disappear!_

Harry: _Okay, okay, Mr. Bossy!_

Louis: _Oh trust me, you haven’t seen bossy yet, but if you ask nicely… *winky face*_

In response, Harry sends a picture. It’s a close up his face, complete with puppy dog eyes and pouty lips. The caption reads, _Pretty please?_

Jesus. Where did this boy come from?

Louis: I said, GET TO WORK!!!

Louis goes back to his room to ready himself for whatever might happen tonight with Harry. His veins are fraught with nervous excitement. He can barely believe he is doing this. He re-thinks everything, going over all the arguments he had sorted through this morning while lying in bed. He knows he was right not to continue to see Harry under the guise of wanting a massage. His massages are amazing, but… There are still plenty of things he doesn’t know about Harry but one thing he does know with absolute clarity is that Harry isn’t the type of person you can lie to. And even if Louis could, it’s the last thing he’d want to do. Harry just deserves honesty because he emanates it himself. And he’s just so _good_.

But now Louis finds himself getting ready to go over to Harry’s house, of all places. And although they didn’t specifically state what they would do once he got there, it was most certainly implied. _Fuck, fuck, fuck!_ Louis doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s never shown up at someone’s doorstep for a booty call. In fact, his sexual experience is quite limited. He’s not a virgin, but he might as well be. His experience is limited to a handful of make out sessions, including hand jobs and a couple blowjobs, and a one-night stand he fucked during a lonely, drunken night out in New York City. And now what, he’s going over to Harry fucking Styles’ house to potentially get laid? Harry, who according to Niall, has never shied away from trying new things. His sexual life is probably not an exception to that rule. After all, the man is basically sex personified. He’s scorching hot and absolute perfection. Right. Not too intimidating.

Louis looks himself over in the full-length mirror, wondering if he should change his clothes. He decides it’s best if he does so he selects a new t-shirt, purple this time, and this one doesn’t show his collarbones but it is rather snug. It’s getting cooler now that the sun has set so he replaces his shorts with a pair of black jeans, ones that are slim but not skin-tight. He’s suddenly worried about giving Harry the wrong idea. Though he hasn’t a clue what the right idea is either. Does he want to kiss Harry? Touch him? Fuck him? Yes, of course he does. But that’s all fantasy, isn’t it? A delusional fairytale he’s been playing and replaying in his mind since he first saw Harry’s kryptonite eyes and his body went weak with lust.

Hearing a ping from his phone, he is forced to stop his worrisome thoughts and read the message on the screen.

Harry: _Where are you? I’m waiting…_

Louis checks the digital clock next to his bed. It’s only 9:05.

Louis: _You said after 9:30???_

Harry: _And then you told me to hurry and I obeyed. I'm ready for my reward. Are you really going to make me wait?_

Louis didn’t bother to respond because it would have taken too much time. He arrived at Harry’s house at 9:19. Thank fuck Harry doesn’t live far from the Riptide.

He didn’t need to knock because the door opens the very second he steps up to it. Harry is standing in front of him, with what has to be the most adorable, sexy grin Louis has ever seen on another human being. Harry is wearing a tight white t-shirt that shows off the muscles of his arms and chest. The neckline is just wide enough that Louis can see tattoos peeking out enticingly. As if he needed any further temptation to touch the man.

“Hey, Louis.” Does the man's voice, like everything else about him, need to fuck Louis up this bad?

“Hi.” Louis tweaks his fringe, a nervous habit he is completely unaware of.

“Come on in.”

Louis steps past him, forcing his gaze to move from Harry to the living room behind him. Harry’s house is nice. It’s small but plenty big for just one person, and it’s decorated beautifully. Not a surprise considering who lives here. Little touches like flowers in a vase and antique picture frames throughout. There is a couch and matching loveseat, both of which look soft but sleek, and an accent chair that brings out colors in the rug and window dressings.

“Can I get you something to drink? Wine, beer, soda…?”

Louis turns back to look at Harry, noticing the gorgeous man is much closer to him than he’d thought. Louis takes a step backwards, giving himself more space. “Ah, a glass of wine would be great, thanks.” A little something to help soothe his nerves would be good, he thinks.

Harry tells him to make himself comfortable in the living room and retreats to get the wine. Returning a few short moments later, he hands Louis a glass and takes a seat on the sofa, not very far from where Louis is perched on the far end.

“You look nice,” Harry said.

Louis smiles, dropping his eyes to his lap where he is resting the wineglass on his thigh. “Thanks.” He looks up again. “You too.” His nerves are kicking in full force so he takes a sip of wine, hoping it will give him a moment to figure out what to say. He knows Harry is watching him but he finds it difficult to look at him. After a few seconds of awkward silence, he puts his drink down on the coaster Harry has put out on the coffee table for him.

“Um, I should be honest with you.” He looks at Harry again and sees that he is indeed watching him, but with an amused smile on his face. “Or maybe not, because I can see you’re practically laughing at me right now.”

“I’m not laughing.” Only he is. Little giggles turned into all-out cackles the moment Louis had stopped talking.

Louis just smiles at him and nods, accepting the ridicule he knows he deserves.

“Sorry, I can’t help it. You’re adorable, Lou.”

Louis rolls his eyes at that.

A pinging sound goes off somewhere in the direction of the kitchen, causing Harry to jump up. “Oh sorry, just a second.”

Louis watches Harry’s back as he walks out of the room, thankful for the temporary reprieve. He uses the time to wipe his sweaty palms on his jeans and twist his fringe again.

Harry comes back into the room, sitting down again. “Christ, I’m totally nervous for Gemma. I know it’s irrational but I can’t help it. Every time my phone goes off I instantly think something’s wrong with the baby. Sorry, Louis. I don’t normally let my phone control me like that when I have guests. It’s so rude, sorry.”

“Harry, it’s fine.”

“Well, I turned it off, so.”

“So she’s alright then?”

“Yes. Well, I’m sure she is. That wasn’t even her. It was a friend of mine, no big deal. I just let it go to voicemail”

“Ah, I see.”

They look at each other, smiling, each taking another sip of wine.

“Your house is nice. Did you decorate it yourself?”

“Yeah, mostly. I cheated a bit though. I have a friend who’s an interior decorator and I got some tips from her. Want the ten cent tour?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Louis follows as Harry walks him through each room. The kitchen is impressively large for an otherwise small house. Harry talks about how much he enjoys cooking and that a big kitchen was a must-have when he was house hunting. There is an office that houses a small desk and the rest of the space is taken up by a large yoga mat where Harry says he practices first thing every morning. They walk through the guestroom and a connecting bathroom in which all the fixtures were made of pink porcelain. Harry comments that most people find the pink bathroom to be hideous but, for him, it was a major selling point. Finally, he leads Louis into his bedroom which is a nice size. There is a beautiful bay window with a sitting area surrounded by fluffy pillows. The bed is large and is also decorated with fluffy pillows. There is an adjoining master bath which looks like it was recently updated and includes a fantastic, doorless shower and a corner tub.  

Louis steps inside to get a closer look. “Love the shower. I’m sort of a shower guru, meself. You wanted a big kitchen. I chose my apartment in New York based on the shower alone.”

“Must be quite a shower then.”

“It was. And I probably spent more time in it than I did anywhere else in that apartment.” Harry laughs at that, so Louis continues, “Seriously. I’ve even watched entire TV shows from my shower. I had a telly installed in the wall for exactly that purpose.”

“Wow. That’s dedication,” Harry teases.

Louis shrugs, smiling. “I just know what I like.” As soon as the words leave his mouth, he realizes how flirty that probably sounded.

Harry looks from Louis’ eyes to his lips and back again while Louis swallows hard and loud. Louis watches as Harry takes a step towards him. His heart is racing, anxiety throwing him off once again. As Harry leans in closer, Louis pulls him into a tight hug.

Yes, a _hug_.

Because Louis is very nervous and possibly more than a little gun-shy now that he’s alone with this incredibly beautiful man who makes him feel so many things all at once, so many things that he can’t even begin to discern one from the other. And now that Louis is pressed close to Harry, with Harry’s arms quickly wrapping around him, all he really knows for certain is that he doesn’t ever want to let go. Louis breathes him in and revels in the warmth and solidity of Harry’s taller frame wrapped securely around him. They stay pressed together like that for several long moments, their hearts beating against each other. Louis is holding Harry around his waist, and Harry has his arms firmly around Lou’s shoulders, one large hand scratching at the back of Louis’ head, keeping him close. Louis thinks the feel of Harry’s heart beating against his chest is the most comforting thing in the world. He wants nothing more than to just melt right into it.

Eventually though, Louis feels like he should say something, possibly try to explain himself, so he pulls away slowly. Meeting Harry’s eyes, he says, “I tried to explain earlier. I really – I don’t….”

“Lou, come sit down.” Grabbing his wrist, Harry walks him to the foot of the bed and motions for him to sit down next to him. On his bed. Harry Styles’ bed.

Louis sits down next to Harry, runs a shaking hand through his fringe, and then turns his head to look at Harry’s kind green eyes. “I don’t really know what I’m doing here. I mean, I do—I know _why_ I’m here but it’s not something that I’ve done much in the past.”

“It’s okay, Lou. I don’t have any expectations.”

“Well, I do. I just don’t know that I’ll live up to them, that’s all.”

They both laugh, and the tension in Louis begins to ease.

“You really are adorable, you know,” Harry says simply.

“And you’re ridiculously fit, so.” Louis watches the way Harry’s lips curve into a delicious smile, lighting up the entire room. Their eyes meet and hold.

“You should only do what feels right, Lou, nothing more and nothing less.”

Louis thinks for a minute, looking from Harry’s eyes to his lips, his curly hair and back to his eyes again. “Would it be okay if we just laid down together? I want to hold you.” Really what Louis wants is everything, all kinds of things he can’t possibly say out loud because he knows if he tries, it’ll come out all wrong and he’ll look like an idiot. Not that he hasn't already proven he's the most embarrassing human in the history of the world but, details.  

Harry smiles wide. “Yeah, I’d like that.” He scoots up towards the head of the bed where all the fluffy pillows are stacked. “Come here.”

Louis crawls up next to him, lying down on his side and wrapping an arm around Harry. Shifting around a bit until they are both fully comfortable, Louis’ head ends up resting against Harry’s shoulder and chest, Harry’s arm stretched underneath with his elbow bent so that his large hand cups the back of Louis’ head. Harry’s heart is beating just under Louis’ cheek and Louis snuggles into it. Breathing Harry in again, Louis say, “You smell so good.”

“It’s probably a mixture of massage oil and shampoo. I took a shower when I got home but you can never really get rid of that massage oil. And everyone wants a different scent so I’ve probably got about four or five different scents mixed together.”

“You’re really good at massage though. Your hands are amazing, like magical or something.”

Harry laughs. “Thanks. I like what I do. It feels good to help people, whether it’s just helping them to relax or actually easing pain.” Harry’s hands are roughing up Louis’ hair, his fingernails lightly scratching at his scalp.

“Is that what you’ve always wanted to do?” Louis tips his chin down, giving Harry better access to scratch at the back of his neck, his own fingers lightly brushing along Harry’s ribcage.

“Yeah, pretty much. I mean, as a kid I had some more interesting ideas like being an astronaut, a firefighter and a school bus driver. But, as an adult, the only other thing I considered was being a yoga instructor. And I actually do teach yoga at the Riptide when the regular instructors need to take time off.”

The room grows silent except for the soft sounds of fingers rubbing against clothes and the small hitches of breath Louis makes as Harry continues to work his magical fingers in Louis’ hair, his other hand slipping underneath Louis’ shirt sleeve to caress the soft skin of his upper arm and shoulder. In quite the same manner, Louis’ fingers are moving back and forth across Harry’s t-shirt, caressing his side in longer strokes.

“You feel so good,” Louis says, moving his hand up over Harry’s pecs and grazing a nipple.

“You do too, Lou. Really good.” Harry pulls Louis tighter against him, moving his hand down Louis’ back, stopping only when he feels the waistband of Louis’ jeans.

Being this close to Harry, breathing him in with every inhalation, is working Louis up. As his wrist brushes across Harry’s chest he feels Harry’s nipple hardening and can’t resist tweaking it lightly.

Harry inhales sharply in response and Louis knows that just lying here with Harry is not going to be enough. He lifts his head up to look at Harry’s beautiful face, zeroing in on his perfectly shaped lips. “Kiss me.”

Harry complies immediately, lifting his head off the bed slightly and taking Louis’ cheeks in both hands, pressing his lips to Louis’, softly at first. Just a light brush across them. Once, twice, before Louis feels Harry’s tongue lick across the seam of his lips, asking for entry. Louis opens to him immediately, a small whine coming from deep in his throat. Leaning over Harry, Louis holds himself up slightly with an elbow dug into the mattress. With his other hand he fingers Harry’s curly locks, grabbing them and pulling slightly so he can lick into Harry’s mouth in slow, deep strokes. Their breathing gets louder as their tongues make contact. The pace of the kiss picks up as they both seek to taste more, feel more, both of them moaning into each other’s mouth, Louis pushing Harry back so his head rests on the pillows again.

Louis releases the handful of curls in favor of seeking out the heat of Harry’s skin. He pulls the collar of Harry’s shirt down so he can nip at Harry’s collarbones and the portion of the tattoo that is revealed there. Loving the taste of Harry’s skin, he sucks a bruise onto his upper chest. Harry’s breath becomes ragged and desperate, and Louis can feel big hands running up and down his upper body, smoothing across his curves.

When Louis can’t stand another minute he stops kissing at Harry’s collarbone, connecting with those beautiful green eyes again while pulling back to give Harry some space. “Shirt off.”

Once again Harry complies, speedily pulling his stretchy t-shirt up over his curly locks, exposing a gorgeous, muscled chest spattered with tattoos that only serve to emphasize his beauty. Louis inhales sharply at the sight, then bends down to lick at Harry’s nipples. As he takes one into his mouth, he pushes his hard dick into Harry’s thigh, forcing a whimper from deep in his throat. Harry’s hands are tugging at Louis’ shirt, telling him without words that he wants it off too, but Louis isn’t ready to release Harry’s nipple yet. At least not until he mercilessly teases it into a tight little nub, biting at it gently.

“Lou…” Harry moans and tugs harder at Louis’ shirt.

Finally, Louis stops playing long enough to rid himself of his shirt. Flattening himself against Harry’s naked chest, he is immediately overwhelmed by the vast pleasure thrumming through his body. His mouth seeks out Harry’s like he’s starving and Harry is the only source of food available for miles. His heartbeat is so erratic; he can barely breathe but he doesn’t care because Harry feels so perfect. So fucking right.

Skimming his small hands across Harry’s six-pack, his fingers daringly dip underneath the waistband of Harry’s jeans. Both of their breaths hitch and Harry latches on to Louis’ mouth again, tongue fucking his mouth fast and deep while simultaneously moving his hips upward so Louis’ fingers go deeper under his jeans. Louis can’t help the embarrassing sounds escaping his mouth.

Louis feels Harry’s hand undoing his own jeans and releasing his hard cock from the constraints of his boxer briefs. Releasing Harry’s lower lip from between his teeth, Louis looks down at Harry’s cock, bats his hand away and replaces it with his own.

“Fuck!” they both moan out at the same time.

There are no words to adequately describe just how pretty Harry’s cock is. Louis has always known he likes dick but this is a whole new level of infatuation. Louis’ mouth begins to water as his hand wraps around Harry’s length. His cock is fucking huge and Louis swears he feels several small lightning bolts flash through his body. He wants that big cock in his mouth, filling him up. His own cock is throbbing and he knows he has to do something before he ends up coming in his pants. Bending his body away from Harry he bites Harry’s lower lip again and then kisses down his chin, his neck and down his chest until he reaches Harry’s belly button which he fucks into with his tongue. As he continues to lick there, he looks up at Harry to see him watching, pupils fully blown.

“Want you in my mouth. Want to taste you,” Louis says, heart hammering with need.

Harry just nods and makes an unintelligible noise.

Louis pulls Harry’s jeans and boxer briefs down to just under his knees. He takes in the beautiful sight of Harry’s cock and balls, and his thick muscled thighs, before dipping down to lick at the pre-come on his tip. “Jesus, you’re big,” he says, looking up at Harry through his eyelashes. Dipping down again, Louis licks and kisses Harry’s perfect thighs, his hands caressing Harry’s hips and even reaching underneath to grab at his arse. When he can’t deny himself any longer he licks along the underside of Harry’s shaft and laps up another drop of pre-come with a groan before taking him so deep he can feel the coarse texture of pubic hair against his nose.

“Oh _fuck_ , Lou!” Harry’s hands are fingering through Louis’ hair lightly.

Louis pulls off for a second and then relaxes his throat again to take Harry deep, this time keeping him there so Harry can feel him swallow around the head of his cock. It’s been ages since Louis has done this but it’s coming back to him quickly. He’s listening to Harry’s ragged breathing and desperate noises, using them as a guide to tell him how Harry likes it. He sucks hard and then pulls off for a moment, looking up at Harry through his long eyelashes.

Harry looks completely wrecked and Louis couldn’t be happier about it. Taking him down his throat again he bobs a few times while Harry moans his name. Harry tries to pull Louis off him, probably because he’s about to come but Louis isn’t having that. He’s had countless dreams about what Harry tastes like and he fully intends to find out. Right the fuck now. Continuing to lick and suck, Louis grabs both of Harry’s hands and holds them down at his sides. He then takes Harry in deep one last time and hums, letting the vibrating sensation of his throat throw Harry over the edge. Seconds later Harry finds his release, spurting down Louis’ throat. Louis swallows every last drop and kisses up Harry’s chest while trying to regulate his own breathing.

Having almost come apart himself to the soundtrack of Harry’s moans and the deliciousness of having Harry’s cock on his tongue, his own cock is now raging red and in desperate need of release. He grabs himself through the open fly of his jeans and starts stroking himself until his hand is batted away.

“Let me take care of you. Need to touch you.” Louis doesn’t even have a chance to respond before he is swiftly disrobed, lying naked for Harry. A sound not unlike an animal growl comes from Harry’s throat. Louis watches as he dips his head down and licks at Louis’ hips and abs while reaching up with one hand to pinch one of Louis’ nipples.

Louis tangles his fingers in Harry’s hair, holding it up so he can see Harry’s face. He loves watching the way the curls wrap around his fingers. When Harry licks across his tip, Louis tightens his grip on the curly locks and Harry moans. Harry licks broad stripes up Louis’ shaft and Louis tugs on his hair reflexively. Harry moans again. Louis is starting to see a pattern that intrigues him but he doesn’t have time to test it any further because Harry sucks his balls into his mouth, gently swirling his tongue along the tender skin.

“Fucking fuck, Harry!” Louis yells. Harry wraps long fingers around Louis’ thick cock, stroking him firmly three times before licking at his tip.

“Mmm. Been wondering what you taste like.”

_Jesus._

Harry continues stroking him and it doesn’t take long until he is coming hard in thick ribbons, most of it catching on Harry’s tongue until he swallows it down. It’s too much. So hot that Louis closes his eyes, needing a chance to catch his breath. When he is able to open his eyes again he sees Harry smearing a stray drop of come off his chin and licking it off his fingertip, all while looking into Louis’ steel blue eyes.

Louis pulls Harry’s head down to his, tasting himself while they kiss slowly. Being like this, all slow and sated and naked with Harry? Louis doesn’t think anything else could top this. It’s incredible. It’s – there really aren’t words good enough to describe the way it makes him feel.

“If it’s more than you wanted, I understand,” Harry whispers, kissing the soft skin just under Louis’ ear. “But I really want to feel you inside me,”

Louis just came not even two minutes ago and yet his cock twitches with excitement at Harry’s words. His heart rate hasn’t even steadied yet and now his head is spinning all over again. He doesn’t trust himself to form words so he reaches for Harry’s arm and pulls him down on top of him, grabbing a fistful of Harry’s curls and pulling his lips down for a bruising kiss. He devours Harry with his tongue, licking across his teeth and lips, moaning at just the thought of fucking Harry.

Harry, for his part, has begun sucking on Louis’ tongue, and Louis swears his brain is shorting out. Harry maneuvers his body so he is straddling Louis, rubbing his ass right over Louis’ cock, feeling it get harder by the second as he moves himself lightly back and forth over it.

“Jesus, you’re going to make me come again if you don’t stop.” Louis holds Harry’s hips steady, the room still and quiet except for their heavy breathing.

Harry leans down to kiss Louis again, slower this time but with definite purpose. When their lips part, Louis whispers, “I want to be in you so bad.” And he can barely believe he just said that out loud. Because now his heart is hammering like crazy. He’s afraid he’ll be a pathetic fuck, lack of experience and all, but it’s as though his body is far more powerful than his brain at this point, and there just is no stopping it. He wants Harry like he’s never wanted anything or anyone else. The truth is, he _needs_ Harry. Needs to feel his affection, warmth and vitality. So, no, he’s not going to pass on Harry’s offer. Not when he feels like he’s won the fucking sex lottery.

Louis sits up, Harry still on his lap, and kisses him deep while running his hands down his back to cup a cheek in each hand. Harry moans into his mouth when he spreads his cheeks apart slightly.

Breaking away from Harry’s lips to nibble at his ear, he asks, “Do you have…stuff?”

Harry throws his weight to the side of the bed, making short work of grabbing a bottle of lube and a condom from the nightstand drawer. Harry pops the cap off the lube and starts squeezing it onto his own fingers until Louis stops him. “No, that’s my job.” Louis wipes the lube off Harry’s fingertips and spreads it onto his own while Harry watches. With his dry hand, he pushes against Harry’s side, gesturing for him to lie down. Harry moves off of Louis’ lap to lie down on his belly, head to the side.

The sight of Harry just lying there, spread out before him and waiting for Louis’ touch is a vision Louis knows he’ll never forget. It’s permanently engraved in his brain. And really he couldn’t ask for anything more than this. Even if he turns out to be a pathetic fuck and Harry never wants to see him again, Louis will have this beautiful image to treasure always and forever.

With fingers slightly shaking, he caresses Harry’s backside, placing tiny kisses on the small of his back, his cheeks and his thighs. He traces down the seam of Harry’s arse, lightly brushing across his hole. Harry whimpers, opening his thighs a bit further to provide better access. Louis has to squeeze his own cock at the base, because it’s far too hot the way Harry’s hole is fluttering at his touch. Louis pushes his middle finger in, just to the first knuckle, and Harry moans in response. God, he loves how responsive Harry is. It makes him so goddamn delighted to know he is pleasing this man who is, by all rights, the closest thing he’s ever met to an angel in human form.

Pushing further inside Harry, he swallows hard as Harry clenches around his finger. Now that he’s as far as he can go, he curls his finger slightly, stretching Harry further and enjoying the tight, warm feeling of Harry around him.

“More,” Harry says, breathily. “Need more.”

Louis adds a second finger, delighting in Harry’s soft mewling sounds. After a few strokes he adds a third finger. Scissoring a few times and then thrusting lightly in and out. He continues prepping Harry while giving him several small bites across his soft ivory cheeks.

“Please, Louis,” Harry moans, sounding desperate.

Louis grabs the condom wrapper and tears it open with his teeth, still stretching Harry open with his fingers. After one last thrust inside, he removes his fingers so he can put the condom on his now throbbing cock. He squeezes a generous amount of lube on Harry’s hole, pushing some inside, and wipes the rest over his sheathed cock. Harry pushes his arse up in the air, bringing his knees in closer to his hips so he’s on all fours but with his elbows and upper arms flat against the mattress. And fuck if Louis doesn’t think _this_ is the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

The man before him is absolute perfection. More than anything, Louis just wants to make sure this is good for Harry. Wants to make him feel so good he comes harder than he ever has before. Here’s hoping he doesn’t completely fuck this up by coming five seconds in. Placing his cock right at Harry’s hole, pressing in just slightly, he takes a deep breath and stares up at the ceiling in an attempt to will away the incredible sensation that’s furling inside his belly.

Pushing in slowly, he watches as Harry clenches around the head of his cock. He pauses for a moment to allow Harry to get used to his size since he’s thicker around than just the three fingers Harry had taken during prep. Almost immediately though, Harry is pushing back against him and Louis grips Harry’s hips more firmly to gain better control. Squeezing his eyes shut, he slowly pushes in further as Harry spews a stream of barely discernable words, “Oh God, Lou….Fuck, that’s so good…. _fuck_.”

Louis pulls out slightly and then pushes in again, all the way to the hilt, trying to make Harry moan louder. He tangles his fingers in Harry’s curls, slightly pulling his head back as he pushes in again. Harry moans again, something completely unintelligible this time. Louis plays around a bit, changing his angle, looking for Harry’s sweet spot again, knowing he won’t last too much longer with how tight Harry feels around him. It’s obvious when he finds the spot because Harry loses his mind, practically screams, and reaches back to keep Louis in him, right there against his prostrate.

“Christ, Harry! You’re too fucking much.” Louis knows he’s seconds away from coming hard inside Harry so he reaches around and strokes Harry’s cock while he holds himself still for a minute.

Harry only lasts through a few strokes before he’s coming all over his own chest and Louis’ hand. And it’s so beautiful, the sounds Harry makes when he’s coming, and the way the muscles in his entire body tighten. When it feels like Harry spasms around him for the last time, he plunges into him again, chasing his own orgasm. In only three strokes, Louis is coming hard as fuck into Harry with one arm wrapped across his chest and his other hand gripping Harry’s hip tightly, all the while completely astounded he was able to last long enough to bring Harry off first. Practically collapsing across Harry’s back, he attempts to collect himself while placing small kisses into Harry’s sweaty skin. A moment later, he lifts himself off of Harry and pulls out of him slowly, tying the condom off and dropping it to the floor next to the bed. Too exhausted to do anything else, he falls onto his back on the mattress next to Harry, convinced he’s actually seeing stars, still breathless and fully wrecked.

Harry is lying flat on his belly now and turns his head towards Louis. He reaches out and wipes Louis’ sweaty fringe from his eyes. “That was incredible, Lou,” he says in a fucked out voice that has Louis squeezing his eyes shut again in a futile attempt to calm his body down.

Once it registers exactly what Harry said, Louis opens his eyes, searching his face. “Yeah?”

“Fuck, yeah. What, you don’t think so?”

“No. I mean, YES, that was, that was really fucking great. It’s just…..well, I probably shouldn’t admit this but that was only my second time.”

Harry lifts his chest off the bed, his eyes wide. “What? How is that possible? You’re obscenely gorgeous.”

Louis blushes, his eyes averting Harry’s gaze. “Thanks for saying that. I just – I don’t really have a lot of experience because I’ve spent the last few years working long hours and busting my bum through law school before that. Just didn’t have a lot of time or energy for much else, I guess.”

Harry is quiet as he looks at Louis with eyebrows furrowed in thought. He repositions his body so he’s lying on his side, facing Louis, elbow bent with his head resting on his hand. Reaching out with his other arm, Harry places his hand over Louis’ as it lies heavily across Louis’ chest. “What was your first time like, if you don’t mind my asking?”

Louis adjusts his fingers so Harry’s can fit in between his. “No, I don’t mind but it’s not that interesting. Just a one-night stand. A rare night out during law school, I was quite drunk, and thought ‘why not?’ Being a virgin at twenty-three is pretty pathetic, right?”

Harry moves a little closer to Louis, his hand lightly caressing Louis’ arm as he waits for Louis to continue.

“When I was a teenager, I fooled around with a bunch of people, girls and boys. I was experimenting, yes, but it was also sort of my way of escaping all the responsibility I had back at home. ‘Twas a bit easier back then to get out with the lads and we were good at getting ourselves into a good kind of trouble, ya know? So anyway, I’m not a _total_ loser. People actually wanted to screw around with me back in the day. Just never fucked any of them, but then I never really wanted to.”

“Why me then?” Harry asks with a shy smile.

“Has anyone ever denied you a thing? I don’t think it’s humanly possible.” Harry laughs at him, but Louis only smiles because he isn’t joking. “I wanted to, very much.”

“Oh fuck it! I was trying to play it cool but that’s it. You better like cuddling because I’m a cuddler.” Not giving Louis a chance to get away, he pushes his body flush against him, draping a long leg across his thighs, and squeezing tight with one arm.

Once they are both lying still, Louis says quietly, “I would’ve been disappointed if you didn’t want a cuddle.”

They hold each other like that for a while, talking about all kinds of things, one of which was their first impressions of each other. Harry tells him that when he stepped out of the room for Louis to disrobe on his first visit to the spa, Harry had to go into a linen closet and bite down on a fluffy spa towel so no one could hear him scream out his sexual frustration, knowing he’d have to spend ninety minutes being purely professional while massaging the fittest man he’d ever seen in his life. Louis just laughed and said “you’re welcome” for crying during the massage, thus shortening the visit and ensuring Harry was completely flaccid the entire time. Though Louis was making a joke of it, Harry grew serious. Squeezing Louis’ hand, Harry told him how badly he had wanted to stay in the room and just lie down with him and hold him through his tears. Louis was secretly touched by that but far too embarrassed to admit it so, instead, he changed the subject to Harry’s tattoos. Harry has so many and there’s a story behind each of them, Harry filling him in on several he asks about specifically. Their conversation is fun and light-hearted but, inevitably, they had to admit that a shower was in order.

“Will you come with me?” Harry asked.

“Are you kidding me? Not passing up an opportunity to enjoy your sick shower!” Harry slaps him playfully on the arm. “Fine, you _and_ your shower.”

Harry’s shower is huge and is surrounded by a gorgeous tile design on three sides, with the fourth side being only partially enclosed by glass, the rest wide open. There’s a small shaving bench on the side opposite multiple shower heads. But, above all else, it’s the luxury steam shower system that has Louis exceedingly jealous. Of course Louis fiddles with all the controls, testing them all out one by one. If there is a competition between Harry and the shower, however, it is clear there is only one winner: Harry. They can’t keep their hands – or their mouths – off each other. Louis thinks Harry’s cock is the hottest thing he’s ever seen and he can’t stop touching it. After several moments of heated kissing during which Harry’s hands move down to cup both of Louis’ arse cheeks, Louis is about to lose his mind so he takes back control by grabbing a fistful of Harry’s hair, pulling his head back to better access the soft skin of Harry’s neck, biting down lightly and sucking hard. The sound Harry makes during this makes it clear he’s loving it. Louis thinks about the text from Harry earlier, the ‘Mr. Bossy’ comment.

“Do you like it when I pull your hair?” Louis asks, curious.

Harry’s breathing is a bit frantic as he responds, “Yeah, turns me on.”

Louis wonders what else Harry likes. How much control Harry might let him have. His cock twitches and he decides to try something.

Wordlessly, Louis turns Harry around so his front is facing the shower wall. He takes a hold of Harry’s hands and places them on the wall on either side of Harry’s head. Louis kisses the soft skin behind Harry’s ear, letting his body just barely graze against Harry’s. He runs his fingers down Harry’s arms, and along the sides of his rib cage. He loops one arm around to Harry’s front, brushing fingertips along his abs before heading downward still, seeking out the sexy trail of hair under his belly button, but ignoring his cock for the time being. With his other hand, he brushes a thumb across Harry’s hole. Still kissing at the back of Harry’s neck, he can hear each intake of breath with each new touch. “You’re so lovely like this, just letting me touch you however I want.” Harry moans. Louis wraps his fist around Harry’s cock then, feeling the taller man thrust into his palm. “Want me to bring you off like this?”

There’s a mewling sound coming from Harry’s throat. “Want you to do whatever you want to me.”

_God._ Louis’ eyes practically roll back in his head. This is so unreal. It’s his absolute favorite type of fantasy coming to life. He’s never dominated anyone before but it’s always been his go-to sexual fantasy and now he’s got Harry willingly submitting to him. It’s too much.

Louis presses his cock against Harry’s arse and begins stroking the taller man’s cock mercilessly. He holds off just long enough to make Harry come and then comes himself, spurting hot seed all over Harry’s cheeks, the spray of the water quickly washing it away. Panting heavily, Louis wraps his arms around Harry pressing him up against the cold tile.

They let the shower spray clean them off again before turning the water off and drying themselves with the towels Harry laid out for them.

“It’s late. Do you want to stay over?” Harry asks, wrapping the towel around his waist.

Louis hesitates, unsure if Harry’s just asking to be nice or if it’s really what he wants.

Before he has a chance to respond, Harry speaks again. “I’ll be honest, I don’t want you to go but if you want to, I’ll understand.”

“I’d like to stay.” Harry cracks a huge grin at those words, and Louis can’t help but smile just as brightly in response.

They wordlessly walk back out to the bedroom. Harry grabs a clean t-shirt out of the closet and offers it to Louis. “Here’s a t-shirt if you want one. I sleep naked.”

The flirty little smile on Harry’s face makes Louis laugh. He takes the t-shirt from Harry and throws it over his back where it lands on the floor in a heap. They climb into bed, seeking each other out for a cuddle before falling asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Louis awakens to the sound of a cow mooing somewhere off in the distance and the heat of smooth naked skin pressed up against his backside. By the amount of light streaming in through the windows, he guesses it is at least six in the morning. He is surprised he slept so soundly, considering he’s in an unfamiliar place. The next thoughts he has are all about the man lying behind him, currently snuggling into him even more.

He thinks back to last night: Harry’s impatience for Louis to arrive, the dimpled smile on his face when he answered the door, the way he responded _so exquisitely_ to Louis’ touch, the cuddling after, Harry asking him to stay over. With the hot images flashing through his brain and the smell of Harry on the sheets all around him, it’s not a surprise that Louis is hard as rock. Just. _What happens now?_ Louis goes through a list of options in his mind. Should he just get up and leave, claiming he has an early tee time at the resort? Should he offer to cook breakfast for Harry while playing it cool? Should he just flip over right now, cover Harry’s body with his own and wake him up with a proper morning fuck?

Before he has a chance to decide, Harry moves his hand up to Louis’ nipple and lightly flicks it, teasing it into a hard nub.

“Good morning,” Louis says, voice still scratchy from sleep.

“Good morning, Lou. You feel nice. I wish I could stay here with you all day except I’m scheduled at the spa again at ten. Can I make you breakfast? I make the best pancakes in the States.”

“Hmm.” Louis turns over, arms sliding over Harry’s side and back. “Sounds good, but I was thinking of something a bit different.” His hand seeks out Harry’s cock, finding it fully hard already. Louis would love to kiss Harry’s lips but he fears his breath is quite rancid so he settles for placing small kisses along Harry’s collarbone, his pecs, and abs, making his way down to Harry’s incredibly beautiful, incredibly hard cock.

With a flick of his thumb, Louis wipes off the pre-come gathered on the head and brings his thumb to his mouth, sucking it gently while looking up at Harry.

Harry looks back at Louis, shaking his head and biting back a grin.

Louis starts licking up Harry’s shaft, long and slow, stopping only to lick across his slit. He then lazily puts Harry into his mouth, making sure to get him very wet in the process. He pulls almost all the way off and then sinks back down to the base of Harry’s cock. At the same time he reaches up with one hand to smooth over Harry’s six-pack while the other gently massages Harry’s balls.

It doesn’t take long until Harry goes from silent and breathy to loud and moaning. He starts thrashing his hips and grabbing fistfuls of the duvet. “Jesus, Lou! I’m gonna….ah, fuck!” He lets loose and comes down Louis’ throat in waves.

When Harry stills, Louis pulls off him with a pop. He watches Harry until Harry’s eyes open and make contact with him. “Now that’s the kind of breakfast I was talking about. Although, if you’re still offering, pancakes sound kind of good too,” he says with a smirk, his voice coming out a bit choppy from all the deep-throating in the past twelve hours.

 

 

Arriving back to his Riptide suite, Louis changes out of his clothes from the night before and into something a bit more clean and comfortable. Looking in the mirror, he can see the love bite Harry gave him on his neck during their post-blowjob snog session earlier. As he rubs his thumb across it he finds himself hoping it takes ages to disappear.    

Coming out of the bathroom, he throws himself on the bed. He’s not ready to get on with his day, preferring instead to keep his head in the Naked Harry Clouds. It’s absurd to be as old as he is and still feel like a teenager, losing his virginity on prom night. He certainly has no regrets. How could he? It was fucking fantastic. _Harry_ is fucking fantastic.

He thinks back to how the two of them left things this morning. After they finished the delicious pancakes Harry made for them – Harry wasn’t lying, he does make the best pancakes in the States – probably anywhere in the world, for that matter – they had to part ways so Harry could get to the spa on time. As they were getting ready to leave, each with a set of keys in hand, Harry stood in front of the door so as to block Louis from leaving. Louis gave him a questioning look and Harry pulled Louis close, kissing him soundly. When he finally pulled back, Harry’s eyes had been cloudy and dark.

“This was….really nice, Lou. I’d love it if we could, you know, if we could do it again. I mean, hang out again. We could go out somewhere maybe?”

Louis had almost started laughing because Harry is so adorably cute when he gets flustered and rambly. He held it in though and managed to smile at Harry, giving him a kiss on the nose and then another on his lips. “Just let me know when you’re free. It’ll be hard fitting you into my busy schedule but I’ll make an exception for you.” Louis even threw a wink in for good measure.

As amazing as Harry is, Louis realizes he can’t lay around all day and obsess about a boy so he gets up, orders room service and calls his siblings to check in. He talks to Lizzie who’s at Uni in Manchester. She goes on and on about her boyfriend who she’s been dating for three months. He’s happy for her but reminds her that she needs to focus on her studies as well. She jokingly calls him dad and he tells her she better knock that off or he’ll ground her until she’s twenty. He gets serious for a moment, cautioning her to keep things light with her boyfriend. He doesn’t want to see her hurt and he knows what men her age are like. He also knows she’s a lot like him and probably doesn’t have half a clue about relationships.

As Louis is getting ready to hit the Riptide fitness center, he gets a text from Niall: _Hey, I’ve got two hours between shifts. Want to come down and have apps and beers with me at the Grill?_ Louis agrees, promptly changing out of his gym clothes to something a bit nicer and starts walking toward the elevators when his phone goes off again. This time it’s Harry.

Harry: My mum just showed up unexpectedly but will be gone by early morning. I’ve got tomorrow off. Want to come over for breakfast and spend the day with me?

Louis: Yeah, just tell me when. Enjoy your time with your mum.

Harry: 9am. Can nap after if you need to. (: Thanks, Lou. Hope you hv a good night too.

                Happy hour with Niall at the RG is quite an experience. Niall refuses to let Louis order from the menu. Instead Niall orders his own custom happy hour fare which the kitchen staff apparently have no objections to. _Only Niall!_ They have macaroni sprinkled with bacon bits (which had to be served, per Niall, in wine glasses), chicken, pineapple and date sliders, and cinnamon swirl French toast egg  & cheese mini sandwiches. Niall can’t drink more than one beer because he has to work as a server for the rest of the night but he makes sure that Louis is never without. It’s a ton of laughs and all of the other servers and RG crew take turns stopping by their table in the bar, alternating between razzing Niall and loving him up. About half an hour into his shift, Niall decides he should start working so Louis heads back to his suite. His original plan to work out in the fitness center nothing more than a pipe dream now that he’s had a few too many beers, he decides to make this night into a telly night and falls asleep by ten.


	11. Chapter 11

Harry answers the door promptly at nine in the morning with a dimpled smile and sparkly gorgeous eyes. “Good morning.”

His curls are held back from his face by a navy blue scarf. He’s got a “kiss the cook” apron on over a plain gray t-shirt and dark wash skinny jeans. Louis notices Harry isn’t wearing any socks and his eyes are repeatedly drawn to his bare feet. _God, is there nothing about this man that isn’t absolutely stunning?_

“G’morning,” Louis says with what he thinks is an equally wide smile. Louis is wearing a white baseball-style shirt with red sleeves and a pair of gray sweat shorts. He toes off his black Vans, hoping his bare feet don’t smell. He took a shower before he left for Harry’s place but he knows his shoes are probably gross after having sweat in them a million times.

Harry gives him a kiss on the cheek, his hands full of cooking utensils. “Come on, breakfast is just about ready.” He walks off towards the kitchen with Louis enjoying the view of his backside.

In the kitchen, Harry pulls out a chair for Louis while the smaller man asks him about his mum’s visit.

“It was nice seeing her, always is. It’s usually like that, you know, short unannounced visits. She’s always traveling, can’t seem to stay in one place for very long.”

“What does she do for a living?” Louis seats himself, forearms resting on the table as he watches Harry go about his business in the kitchen, plating up their breakfast like a pro.

“She used to be a museum curator, traveled a lot with that, but she retired a few years ago. My stepdad passed away and left her a lot of money so she didn’t need to work. Now she just travels for fun, mostly visiting friends all over the world.”

Having arranged the food meticulously on the table in front of them, they both sit down to eat. This breakfast is just as amazing as the one Harry served for Louis yesterday. This time it’s oven-baked french toast with strawberries and blueberries, scrambled eggs and sausage patties. Louis is thankful he chose to wear comfy shorts because he feels like his belly is going to burst.

Throughout the meal, they have a lovely conversation. Louis is repeatedly struck by how sweet Harry is. He learns that Harry volunteers at a hospice twice a month, serving food and coffee to the patients and visitors, and just generally being a positive light for people during what is otherwise a very difficult time. Louis is starting to think that Harry is not real at all but rather a robot. Or maybe just an earth-bound angel. He just doesn’t know if he’s ever met someone as genuine and kind, or as giving, as Harry.

Taking Louis’ empty plate and stacking it on top of his own, Harry says, “I don’t know how much time you’re willing to give me today but, like I said, it’s my day off so I’m wide open and wouldn’t mind spending the day with you if you’re up for it.”

There is a warmth flooding Louis’ chest. He likes the idea of spending an entire day with this man. In fact, it’s a bit startling at just how much he likes the idea of _Harry_ wanting to spend that much time with him. Keeping his fuzzy feels in check, Louis deadpans, “I mean, I guess I could cancel my mani and pedi for you.”

Harry’s laugh is loud and delightful. “Well, thank you, Lou. I’m incredibly honored you’d go to all that trouble to clear your busy schedule for me.”

“You’re welcome.”

As the two work together to clean up the kitchen, Louis asks Harry if he has anything in mind for them to do today. “Well, after eating this huge breakfast I was thinking it would be nice to get some exercise. There are some tennis courts just a few blocks away if you’d be interested in playing a few rounds?”

“Sure, sounds great. I’m not that good but, I agree, it would be nice to move around a bit. Food goes straight to my thighs so I can’t afford to eat that much without working it off some way or another.”

“Are you kidding me? You’ve got nothing to worry about. Your thighs are phenomenal,” Harry says with a wink.

Louis feels a blush creep across his face. He busies himself washing dishes so Harry won’t see. He can’t help but feel pleased by the compliment though, especially considering who it came from.

The tennis match proves to be a bit grueling, mostly because they both suck at tennis and, consequently, spend most of their time chasing balls all over the court. It’s also quite hot out so they are sweating like mad and are thankful they at least thought to bring a couple of cold bottles of water along.

Louis is finding his shirt, with its three-quarter sleeves, a bit stifling in this heat. “This shirt was a bad idea,” he says, just before peeling it off over his head.

“Or is it?” Harry says, eyeing Louis’ gorgeous upper body with a smirk. Louis watches as Harry slams what’s left in his water bottle. “Actually, I think my shirt’s a bad idea as well.” And he promptly takes it off, tossing it over to a bench at the edge of the court. Louis has to adjust himself in his shorts. After all, no one can be expected to survive the torture that is watching sweat trickle down Harry's butterfly tattoo, the laurels seemingly there for emphasis as it travels down to the waistband of his shorts. _Ughh._

Their game resumes but their playing only gets worse. Louis is highly distracted by the way Harry’s tattoos stretch with his body as he extends an arm to hit the ball. Louis is no idiot. He can see the way Harry is watching him too, his eyes following Louis’ movements even when they have nothing to do with the game. Louis knows this because he’s purposely tested it several times. When he bends over to pick up the ball, when he towels the sweat from his chest, and even when he reaches up to push his sweaty hair back from his face. The desire is practically written all over his face and that's got Louis so turned on that his hand-ball coordination is basically fucked. He thinks they may have played tennis for long enough.

Missing the ball as it flies way over his head, Harry does a dramatic and totally fake fall, sprawling across the court on his back. Louis takes the opportunity to end the game, slowly walking up to Harry’s unmoving form. Without hesitation Louis straddles Harry, placing both his knees on the rough court and bending over Harry’s face, forearms bracing him so his weight doesn’t crush the gorgeous man.

Harry looks up at him, their faces only a few inches apart. “No more tennis,” Louis whispers before kissing away a drop of sweat from Harry’s forehead and then licking it off his lips while Harry looks on.

Louis watches Harry’s eyes travel from his face to his chest, stopping at the sweat that's beading up on the light patch of hair in the center of Louis’ chest. Wordlessly Harry dips his fingers in the sweaty hair, smearing it down towards Louis’ navel. Then he reaches around Louis, placing a hand behind his neck and pulls Louis down to his mouth.

Louis is only too eager to suck on Harry’s lips, to lap up the salty sweat from his upper lip and then take it in his mouth, seeking out Harry’s tongue. Their breathing becomes heavy and Louis can’t keep his hips from grinding into Harry, especially when that friction causes Harry to let out a high-pitched whimper.

“Let’s go back,” Harry breathes out in a rush before inhaling deeply and pressing a palm against Louis’ chest, pushing him back. “Come on, Lou.”

Louis takes a few seconds to catch his breath and then sits up slightly. Before he gets a chance to stand Harry is sitting up and kissing him again with a hand on each side of Louis’ face. Louis kisses him back, fingers gripping wet curls. Moving his hands to Louis’ hips, Harry pulls Louis up against his hard length. “Want you inside me again,” Harry whispers, “ _Please_ , Lou.”

The two men disengage their bodies, getting to their feet and collecting their various items strewn about the court and on the sideline bench. They walk briskly back towards Harry’s house, hiding their hard-ons behind racquets and balled up, sweaty shirts. As they enter Harry’s house, they can hear the sound of Louis’ cell phone ringing and vibrating on the kitchen counter where he left it.

Harry glances at the vibrating phone and says, “I’ll just be in the shower,” and then turns to head down the hallway towards his bedroom.

Before he can take two steps, Louis grabs his shoulder and spins him around, pushing him against the wall and kissing the breath out of him.

“No shower. I want you sweet and salty like this.” Louis pushes Harry towards the bedroom, keeping his front glued to Harry’s back the entire way. “Love the way you smell.”

Harry groans, turning around to take Louis’ bottom lip into his mouth as his legs back up against the bed. Licking into Louis’ mouth, Harry reaches around the smaller man, grabbing both of his cheeks and grinding into him. “Your arse is amazing, Lou.”

“Yeah? I prefer yours.” Louis pulls Harry’s joggers down in one quick yank and pushes him down on the bed.

Harry bounces back up immediately, his hands moving fast to grab at the waistband of Louis’ shorts. Louis grabs his wrists, effectively stopping him, the two of them making sizzling eye contact with their naked chests heaving in tandem. Louis takes both wrists into one of his hands, the other pushing Harry back down on the bed. Harry is easily strong enough to break out of his hold but he offers no real resistance. Louis smiles inwardly as he kisses Harry’s chin and moves down his neck to his collarbone.

“Louis.”

Dipping his head lower, Louis licks a thick strip across Harry’s sweat-salted six-pack, the muscles flexing under his tongue.

“Louis.” God, Louis loves how Harry’s voice gets so breathy and desperate when he’s turned on.

Kissing his way down Harry’s treasure trail, Louis hums a pleased little sound.

“ _Louis_.”

Louis’ eyes go wide and he pops his head up to search Harry’s face, not sure what to think of the sternness in Harry’s voice just now. “You okay?” Louis releases his hold on Harry’s wrists.

“Yeah, I just…I really want you in my mouth. Can I?”

His lips breaking into a wide smile, Louis slowly crawls up the bed, reaching for Harry’s face and planting a loud, smacking kiss on his lips. He glances from Harry’s lips to his eyes and then back to his swollen red lips. He can’t resist sucking those lips a bit more, nibbling on them like he would his favorite snack, savoring the taste and feel of his flesh.

“Please? Wanna make you feel good.” Harry asks again when Louis pulls away slightly to lick at the corner of Harry’s mouth.

“If you really want to, I’m not gonna stop you.”

Harry grabs Louis’ thickness through his sweats, making Louis’ breath hitch. “Been thinking about it nonstop since you left the other day.”

As Louis moves off of Harry, he bends down to bite one of Harry’s nipples, making the man gasp loudly. “How do you want me?” Louis asks, smiling up at Harry.

Harry sits up to help Louis remove his shorts, making quick work of getting them off and discarding them on the floor. Louis watches as Harry scoots off the bed, then pulls Louis by the hand until they’re both standing next to the bed. Eyes locked on Louis’, Harry kneels down in between Louis and the bed, placing his hands behind his back. “I…” Harry pauses, biting his lip, his cheeks flushing slightly. “I want you to fuck my mouth, make me take it.”

Louis practically growls, eyes rolling back. He’s so turned on right now he has to squeeze the base of his cock to stave off the rush of pleasure pooling low in his belly.

“Are you sure?”

Harry nods quickly. “ _Please_.”

“Don’t want to hurt you. If you want me to stop, tap my thigh, okay?”

“Just start off slow so I can get used to you. Then do what you want. I promise I want it too.”

Thumbing Harry’s lower lip, Louis takes a few seconds to enjoy the sight of his hard cock against Harry’s beautifully-chiseled jawline. When Harry arches his neck to lick across the head of Louis’ cock, Louis leans forward, reaching for the top of the wooden headboard. With his other hand, he grabs a fistful of Harry’s curls and helps guide him as he begins pushing his hard length into Harry’s hot mouth. Harry opens wide, tongue out and flat across the underside of Louis’ shaft as he slides in. Both men moan, Louis overwhelmed by the hot wet heat surrounding him, and Harry tasting Louis in just the way he had been wanting so badly. Louis pushes in a little further and then pauses for a moment, allowing Harry to adjust and relax his throat.

“God you look incredible, so obscene. One minute you’re this angel, so perfect and ethereal and then you talk dirty and do things like this with your fucking perfect mouth and… _fuck.”_

With both hands on Louis’ bum, Harry pushes Louis’ hips forward, taking his cock down deep to the back of his throat and then loosening his hold on Louis’ cheeks, handing the control back to Louis. Louis pulls out halfway and then grabs the back of Harry’s head in one hand, clutching a wad of curls before pulling Harry’s head in to meet his hips as they thrust downward, feeding him. Harry moans, hands squeezing his own thighs as he kneels on the floor. As Louis thrusts into Harry’s mouth, Harry alternates tongue work along Louis’ shaft with suctioning his cheeks to put delicious pressure around him. Louis is awe-struck, mouth gaping open, balls tightening up. Through it all, he is just barely conscious of the pleasureful sounds coming from Harry. Mixing with his own, Louis has a fleeting thought that they are making music together, their sounds swirling together in a hungry harmony that sounds utterly flawless to Louis’ ears.

The sensations are overwhelming, Louis’ cock hitting the back of Harry’s throat repeatedly. And, God, Harry takes it so well. So bloody well. Louis knows he’s getting close, tries to hang on longer, savoring the bliss. When he’s sure he can’t take it another second he shouts, “Need to come, H!” He starts pulling away but Harry won’t let him, clutching his cheeks tight to hold him there while he works his tongue along the thick vein of Louis’ cock, sucking ardently. Louis is in fucking heaven. Harry _is_ heaven, the sweetest and hottest angel this planet has ever seen. Just then Harry slides a finger along Louis’ crack, rubbing lightly against his hole, and Louis shoots off into Harry’s mouth, hotter and harder than he’s ever experienced before. Harry swallows it eagerly, making lovely noises all the while.

Louis is wrecked. He’s absolutely shattered. He slowly manages to disengage from Harry’s mouth and, because his legs are feeling a bit wobbly, he steps over to the bed and plants himself there, looking down at Harry, still kneeling on the floor. Reaching down, Louis smooths a wet curl away from his face. He brushes his thumb across Harry’s wet lips. “Harry, fuck,” he whispers, chest heaving and voice barely audible in the aftermath of his incredible orgasm.

Harry smiles up at him, lips bright red, pupils blown. “That was awesome, Lou. I’m gonna want to do that again sometime.”

Louis groans in response to both what Harry said as well as the rough sound of Harry’s throat, wrecked from taking him so deep. Harry is laughing though, so Louis takes comfort in knowing he must not have hurt him. “Your mouth is wicked talented.”

“That was the first time I ever did that,” Harry says.

Louis’ eyebrow quirks up.

“I mean, obviously I’ve given blowjobs before but I never let anyone fuck my mouth like that.”

Louis doesn’t know what to say. Harry is so unreal. And surprising. “It was a first for both of us then.”

Looking at Harry’s gorgeous, smiling face, Louis can’t help but smile too. They gaze at each other for a long moment, Harry biting his lip. Louis needs that plump lip in his mouth so he reaches for Harry’s hand and pulls Harry up off the floor, using enough force to pull the taller man on top of him as they both fall back onto the bed. He licks across Harry’s lips before sucking lazily on that bottom lip, making it even brighter red and more swollen than before. Harry leans into him, making Louis suddenly aware of the hardness between Harry’s legs. Louis moans, tasting his come on Harry’s tongue and adjusts the long-bodied babe so he takes on more of his weight. Reaching down, his hands graze the backs of Harry’s thighs while he continues to slowly tongue-fuck Harry’s mouth. Harry spreads his legs apart slightly and Louis takes advantage of the access to play with Harry’s balls. With Harry rutting against him and long strands of curls brushing across his chest, it’s no wonder Louis can feel himself hardening up again.

“Want to watch you ride me.” Louis says, his voice a bit pitchy with want as he prods Harry’s hole gently.

“Mmm….” Harry jerks his hips forward into Louis’, seeking even more friction. Before removing himself from Louis to retrieve the lube and condoms from the bedside table, he leans down and licks his way into Louis’ mouth, both of them humming in mutual pleasure.

Sitting up, Louis holds his palm out and Harry hands him the items. Harry’s gaze falls to Louis’ cock, watching as he strokes himself while popping open the bottle of lube with his other hand before putting it down on the bed next to him. Harry swallows thickly, following the movements of Louis’ hands as they slide up his body, tweaking his own nipple until it tightens up into a hard nub. Louis moves towards Harry who is kneeling on the bed next to him. Mirroring the larger man, Louis gets up on his knees in front of him and grabs a fistful of Harry’s hair, pulling his head back gently to take his mouth into a bruising kiss.  

Harry smells divine, an earthy smell mixed with the coconut mint body products he has all over his bathroom. He tastes even better, his skin slick and salty from sweat. Louis feels like he can’t get enough, moving to lick a broad stripe down the length of Harry’s throat to his pecs, teasing both of Harry’s nipples with his tongue and fingers. Harry whimpers prettily.

Pushing Harry down so he’s lying on his back, Louis strokes his long, hard length three times and grabs the bottle of lube, squeezing some on his fingertips. Looping a thumb underneath Harry’s knee, he pushes out and upwards, bending his long leg so one foot is flat on the bed, his other leg falling out to the side, giving Louis more space to move between them. Rubbing his wet fingers across Harry’s rim, Louis pushes in gently, making Harry hiss.

“Don’t draw it out. Need you now.”

Louis’ fingers halt, blue eyes meeting green. “’M not gonna hurt you.” Pausing a little longer for emphasis, Louis begins moving his finger inside Harry again, stretching him slowly and thoroughly. Adding a second finger, Louis picks up the pace of his prep, thrusting in and out, watching Harry’s tattooed chest rise and fall quickly with his rushed breaths.

“You make me crazy, you’re so responsive. Love to watch your face, watch you fall apart.” Adding a third finger, he watches as Harry’s mouth falls open in a silent moan, his hands fisting the duvet. He scissors his fingers inside Harry while sliding the palm of his other hand up Harry’s abs to his pecs, Harry’s heart beating fast and hard underneath.  

Louis hopes he’s sufficiently prepped Harry because he can’t wait another second. “Up, babe.” Rolling on a condom and slicking himself up with lube, he watches as Harry straddles him, grabs his cock and lines himself up. He’s so hot for Harry right now he’s sure he’s about two seconds from coming. Again.

Harry sinks down slowly and Louis can feel those muscles clenching over his cock. He has to grit his teeth and squeeze Harry’s thigh to keep himself from thrusting up. Slowly, he feels Harry relax and sink down all the way. There’s a wild look in Harry’s eyes, his hair is sweaty and there are curls matted against his forehead. He’s stunning, it’s that simple. Harry starts riding him, his eyes never leaving Louis’. Finding his rhythm, Louis watches as Harry closes his eyes briefly, overcome with sensation. When those green eyes open again, they immediately seek out Louis’. With Harry looking at him like that, so open and unabashed, all the while riding Louis’ cock like a rodeo champ, Louis can’t help but feel like the luckiest man alive. How he, of all people, ended up here in Harry’s bed – for the second time, no less – he has no goddamn clue. He’s overcome with this indescribable feeling. Unaware he’s even doing it, he reaches out, putting his hand over Harry’s heart, a base need to feel it thudding against him. All at once, a surprising mix of desperate heat and absolute satisfaction take over him.

His brain fizzles out, a fierce need for friction taking over as his hips begin thrusting up into Harry, slowly at first but steadily picking up momentum as Harry responds. Harry changes the angle and it’s clear when Louis’ thrust reaches Harry’s prostrate, hitting it repeatedly and watching as Harry shatters, screaming out Louis’ name as he comes. Louis’ body is on fire. Even though it’s only been a few brief minutes since he came last, he somehow feels like he’s been on the edge for so long, he barely manages to hang on as he watches Harry spurt all over his chest untouched. Louis lifts Harry off of him and pushes him down onto his back on the bed, re-entering him immediately. A few quick thrusts later and Louis’ own orgasm is so hard his eyes are watering. He all but collapses on top of Harry who wraps his legs tightly around him, their bodies hot and wet, skin sticking together sweetly.

After a short while, their breathing starts to even out but Louis still can’t bring himself to move. He feels Harry’s body start to shake beneath him, quickly becoming obvious that Harry is laughing.

“Are you alive? Did I kill you?” Harry asks through giggles.

“I’m quite dead, yes.”

Harry’s legs clamp around him even tighter, arms also hugging him tightly. “Well, good. Guess that means I can keep you here forever.”

“Oh, you’ll want to let me go. I’m rank as hell. Just think how lovely I’ll smell in another minute or so, half-dried come all over me.”

“Mmmm….yep, never letting you go.”

Now both of them are laughing, their chests bumping against each other. Louis finally makes to get up and Harry begrudgingly frees him from his long limbs.

Louis scoots off the bed, running a hand through his messy fringe. “Shower time.”

They take overlapping showers, Louis heading in right away but Harry getting delayed due to a knock at the door from a neighbor asking to borrow some gardening tool that Harry had to then retrieve from his garage. By the time Harry made it to the shower, Louis was finishing up so they snog briefly before Harry is left to finish soaping up on his own.

Heading back into Harry’s bedroom, Louis finds the clothes Harry has laid out on the bed for him. There’s a pair of black Nike shorts and a mint green tee that is quite large on him. It smells like Harry though so Louis thinks it’s perfect. Alone in the room with nothing to do but wait for Harry, he notices some things he hadn’t before. Like some tiny framed photos on the bedside table. Pictures of Harry with a beautiful young woman near the same age as him. Probably Harry’s sister, he thinks. On the chair in the corner, next to a large antiquish-looking wardrobe, there’s a pillow stylishly covered in thin black distressed denim with silver fringe along the seams and an embroidered message that reads: _All the world’s a stage….and ours would have been dark and drab without you, Harry, our hero!_ Turning the pillow over, Louis reads aloud: _J. S. Edwards High School Drama Team, May 2016._

That’s the same moment that Harry walks out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist and another on his head. Louis turns to him, holding the pillow up in the air, eye brows quirked up in question.

“Ah, you’ve been uncovering my secrets, I see.” Harry smiles as he grabs a clean t-shirt from the dresser drawer, tossing it over his head and down his torso in one quick move.

Louis simply waits for the story, plopping down in the chair and prominently holding the pillow in this lap.

“That was a gift from some of the people Niall works with. I’ve gotten to know a lot of them over happy hours with Niall. I’ve volunteered to help out with a number of things over the past few years – field trips, putting up and taking down decorations for school dances, that sort of thing. That,” Harry pokes at the pillow on Louis’ lap, “was for my expert services as a costume seamstress.”

“You sew?” Louis’ eyes are round and he’s holding in a smile.

“Of course. Isn’t it obvious by now that I’m multi-talented? And, I should also point out, that I even _designed_ some of the costumes.”

“Brag much?” Louis smirks and throws the pillow at Harry’s head.

“Hey now, just stating facts. Last year there was a flu outbreak just before the Spring show and people were sort of dropping like flies. When the regular seamstress – the school’s home economics teacher – got sick, it quickly became apparent that none of the other faculty members knew how to sew. Niall called me and I spent several days at the school putting costumes together and doing last-minute fittings. It was actually fun and now I know that, if I ever wanted to quit massage, I could have a successful career in costume design.” Harry playfully throws the pillow back at Louis, who catches it like a pro.

“You’re a marvel, Harold.”

“So they tell me, Lewis.” Harry walks across the room to a small bookshelf and pulls a small case out from between some books. Walking back toward Louis, he says, “I’ve got the play on dvd if you want to check out my masterpieces.”

Louis takes the case from Harry and reads the cover, “ _Little Mermaid: The Musical_. Oh my god, that’s one of my favorites! We have to watch it! Besides, now I’m really curious to see the Harry Styles Seashell Bra.”

Harry tweaks Louis’ nipple, making him yelp. “That was one costume I didn’t have to make, actually. Come on, let’s watch in the living room and I’ll make some popcorn for us.”

When the popcorn is ready, Harry joins Louis on the couch. As the show starts, Harry tugs on the t-shirt Louis is wearing and whispers in his ear, “You look hot in my shirt, by the way.”

Louis side-eyes him but can’t suppress the curl of his lips. He throws popcorn at Harry’s face and tells him to shut up and watch the show.

Throughout the viewing, Harry provides the background on some of the student actors, how the sets were made, and which costumes he worked on. It was fun listening to Harry’s commentary. It’s obvious Harry really likes the kids and enjoyed helping out. _Another thing that makes Harry so utterly perfect_. Overall, the performance was quite good and Louis is very impressed. Watching it makes Louis recall his own experience acting in high school plays, and he finds himself missing the adrenaline rush of it all. When the show is done, Harry listens intently as Louis tells him about some of the plays he performed in, even reciting some lines that have never left his memory.

“I bet you were so adorable back then. Wish I could have seen you,” Harry gushes.

“Oh god, I was such a twink. I loved the attention though. Still got some of it on video but it’s back in London under lock and key. Where it belongs.”

Louis’ phone begins ringing from its spot on the kitchen counter. “Suppose I should get that since I ignored it earlier.”

“Of course.” Harry picks up the empty popcorn bowl and heads into the kitchen as Louis goes after his phone.

Louis reads the screen and frowns, locking eyes with Harry as he puts the phone up to his ear and accepts the call. He turns his back to Harry and walks over to the picture window in the living room, the sound of Harry washing dishes in the background. The call lasts only a few moments but it’s long enough to get his heart racing and his palms sweaty. Hanging up, he sits down on the couch and tries to breathe.

Harry must notice the silence in the room and peeks his head out of the kitchen. “Louis?”

At the sound of that deep voice, Louis slowly turns his head in Harry’s direction. He must look awful because Harry’s expression turns to concern immediately and he walks over to the couch, sitting down next to Louis. “You okay?”

Louis fills his lungs up with air and exhales slowly, letting the air push his lips apart. “Yeah. It’s stupid, really. That was, uh, my realtor in London. Looks like my mum’s house has sold. Got a good offer we can’t really refuse. So….guess that’s it. Just sooner than I thought is all.”

Harry grabs his hand and gives it a squeeze. “You’ve got your sisters to help out though, right?”

“ _Shit_. I need to call Lauren and let her know.” Louis brings his eyes up from his lap to focus on Harry’s face. “I don’t think the girls are ready for this.”

“Are you?”

Louis stares at Harry for a long moment, finding some calm in the warmth of his eyes and the large hand that’s still holding his. “I don’t know but it doesn’t matter. I’ve got to be.”

“Of course it matters, Lou.”

Louis just gives him a forced smile and then stands up, holding his phone. “Might as well call Lauren now and get it over with. Then, if you don’t mind, I think we should do something that involves alcohol.”

“Consider it done. And, take all the time that you need. I’ll just be in the bedroom on my laptop.”

“Don’t feel like you have to hide out or anything. It’s not private.”

Harry just shrugs before pecking Louis on the cheek. And then again on his nose. And on his lips. Twice. When Harry pulls away there is a massive smile on his face and Louis can’t help but smile back. Harry is a dream. He’ll miss him when he’s back in England.

Louis doesn’t realize it but he’s pacing the house while he talks to Lauren. He assures her he’ll be home in time to pack up their mum’s house and settle the paperwork with their estate attorney. And go to Dixie’s dance recital. And watch Delia compete in her karate tournament. Somehow he winds up standing in the doorway of Harry’s bedroom. Harry is lying on his belly, typing away on his laptop, and Louis is instantly distracted from his phone conversation, his gaze having settled on the curve of Harry’s arse and the exposed patch of skin at the bottom of his spine.

“Ah, yeah, I’m still here,” Louis responds after realizing she was repeatedly calling his name. He locks eyes with Harry who looks up from his laptop, presumably at the sound of Louis’ voice. “Yes, Lauren, I’m sure…..Oh bloody hell, don’t pull a Liam on me! Not you too. Christ, I’m a grown man and, might I remind you, I’ve been taking care of you and the rest of the little snot-monsters practically me whole life!.....There’s no need…..Lauren, I will take care of it.” Louis rolls his eyes and Harry smiles at him. “Alright, I’ll call you when I have the closing date, yeah? We can work out the specifics then. Okay. Later, love.”

Never taking his eyes off Harry, he walks over to the bed and lies down next to him, draping an arm across Harry’s lower back and planting his face directly into the mattress. He can feel Harry roll onto his side, long fingers tracing through his hair.

“You okay, Lou?”

Louis groans into the mattress. Then, turning his head to the side so he's facing Harry, he slowly opens his eyes. “Yeah. Nothing a few shots of tequila won’t kill.”

“Do you feel like going out? There’s a nice restaurant not far from here. I know pretty much everyone who works there. Stiff drinks, great food.”

Louis props himself up on his forearms, elbows sunk into the mattress. “Would you mind if we just stayed in? I don’t have a lot of energy and I’m not sure I’m up to making conversation with the locals tonight. Sorry, I’m lame company, I s’pose.”

“Would you rather be alone?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant.” Louis’ eyes are wide and sincere as he searches Harry’s face, questioningly. “But, like, I don’t want to keep you in if you’d rather be out with some mates. It’s your day off. Don’t let me bore you to death. Feel free to kick me out if you want.”

“Not what I want.”

Louis’ phone vibrates just then. Looking at the screen he sees a message from ‘Niall BFF’ flash across the screen. It says: _Hey mate. You up for a pint tonight?_

Louis holds his phone out so Harry can see it, a small smile breaking through his lips despite his mood. “Your bestie wants to hang out with me.”  

“Nice. He skips right over me and calls you now.” Harry fake punches Louis in the shoulder.

“Well, like I said, I’m not really up for that tonight. But all you’d need to do is give him a ring and the two of you could go have a bit of fun.”

“I’m here with you and that’s where I want to be, and unless you’d rather head back to your luxury suite, you’re stuck with me for the night.” Harry sticks out his tongue.

Louis types a quick response to Niall, declining his invitation but letting him know he’s free the following day if the blond Irishman wants to hang out. Then, rising up from the bed, Louis asks Harry if he’s got the makings for a martini or a whiskey sour. Basically he'll take anything.

“Trust me, I’ve got just about everything there is. Niall keeps me stocked because he likes to crash here regularly. But, do me a favor?” Harry grabs hold of Louis’ wrist, pulling him back down on the bed. “Why don’t you let me try my _hand_ (pun intended) at being your distraction for the night? If my services don’t satisfy in full, I’ll give you a full refund and make you any kind of stiff drink you’d like. Deal?”

Louis squints up at Harry’s smirking face, watching as his bright pink bowtie lips curl into a mischievous smile. Louis is both suspicious and intrigued. “What exactly do you have in mind?”

“You’ll see….all in due time.” Harry grabs the hem of Louis’ shirt, pulling it over his head. “On your belly. Now.”

_Wow_. Louis’ stomach just did multiple back flips. He can’t remember a time when someone gave him an order. Not like _that_ anyway. His clients could get pushy from time to time but they ultimately had to defer to his knowledge and expertise, and most wouldn’t have dared to take a tone like that with him. But Harry with his straight dark eyebrows and deep voice, ordering him around in the bedroom? That stirred him up in a way he couldn’t have predicted. “Yes, sir, big guy.” Louis laughs, equal parts nervous and excited, and lays down across the fluffy duvet.

Propping his chin on the backs of his hands, he watches as Harry retrieves a bottle from a dresser drawer on the other side of the room. Harry catches him watching. “Nah-uh. Close your eyes or I’ll have to blindfold you.”

“If one of us was to be blindfolded, I’d have pictured it being you,” Louis says cheekily, while closing his eyes.

“Mmm, don’t think I’d mind that. Maybe you could tie me up as well.” Louis hears the drawer shut and then Harry’s right next to him, his breath dancing across Louis' ear. “But not now. I’ve got a job to do and I always take my work seriously.” Louis can feel the bed sink with Harry’s weight, a large hand skimming across the curve of his back. Almost simultaneously, Louis feels Harry’s breath at his ear. “’M gonna make you forget about things for a while. Gonna make it so the only thing you _can_ think about is how good your body feels when I touch you.”

His eyes still closed, Louis’ breath hitches at the deep, breathy sound of Harry’s voice. Louis suddenly feels the warmth and weight of Harry’s body as he moves to straddle his upper thighs. Two large hands begin sweeping up and down his back, coated in massage oil that smells of vanilla. Harry leans down to Louis’ ear again, whispering, “First, I need you to relax, loosen up a bit.” Those amazing hands begin doing their magic, first concentrating on Louis’ upper back and neck where he holds most of his stress in tight knots. Louis can feel his body slowly turning to putty in Harry’s talented hands. Manipulating Louis’ upper body as needed, Harry works each muscle smoothly and effectively. He moves each of Louis’ arms, allowing better access to the muscles from all angles. When it seems as though he’s fully conquered Louis’ upper back, Harry grabs hold of Louis’ wrists and guides his hands above his head, elbows bent out in a circle around his head. He presses the smaller man’s wrists into the mattress in a silent command to keep them there.

Next, Louis feels Harry’s hands drift down his sides before reaching his thumbs in towards his spine on both sides and sweeping upwards with just the right amount of pressure. The massage seems to be focusing more and more on his lower back now but all Louis really notices is that it feels amazing. That is, until Harry’s fingers begin dipping below the elastic waistband of his borrowed Nike shorts. It’s very subtle at first, just a quick dip underneath before those hands move upward again towards the middle of his back. Gradually though, long fingers return more and more to his waistline until Louis can feel his shorts slide down his hips a bit, exposing his crack just slightly. Harry continues his dexterous ministrations along the newly exposed skin, swiping his fingers lower and lower as he begins working Louis’ glutes. Louis can feel his cock twitch, enjoying the feel of Harry’s hands on his arse, if only just barely. A tingling sensation takes up residence in his belly and he involuntarily arches his back, pushing his arse up slightly, intentionally seeking more of Harry’s touch.

Harry begins working his glutes full-boar, over his shorts. Louis moans out loud and then quickly bites his lip to contain the sound, not sure if he should be reacting sexually to what Harry may only intend as a professional massage. Any confusion he has about Harry’s intent is put to rest in the next moment as he feels Harry’s tongue lick up the exposed part of his crack, Harry’s large palms encasing each of Louis’ globes in a good squeeze at the same time. Louis lets out a small whimper.

“God, you’re sexy,” Harry says. Louis can feel Harry’s weight shift and suddenly Harry’s curls are brushing against his ear as he whispers in a deep, breathy voice, “Want to lick you out so bad, Lou. Want to taste you, and fuck you with my tongue, feel your body thrash under me. Tell me that’s okay. Tell me I can.”

Harry’s voice sounds obscene. Utterly wrecked. That, along with the way his tongue feels as it licks across his ear, has Louis’ brain completely addled and his cock getting harder by the second. “ _Oh God_.”

“Is that a yes?” Harry laughs.

“Yeah.” It’s all Louis can manage to say, the rest of his brain having turned into a puddle of mush.

Harry props Louis’ hips up with a large pillow then slowly pulls down Louis’ shorts until his gorgeous bum is on full display. Kisses are placed gently up and down Louis’ thighs, on each cheek and even the dimples at the bottom of his spine. Harry teases Louis with little bites and wet kisses that slowly zero in on Louis’ hole. When Louis feels his cheeks being spread open by two big thumbs, he can’t suppress his moans any longer.

No one has ever touched him there before. Not with fingers, lips or tongue and these new sensations are almost too much for Louis. He’s all sorts of excited and curious but, if he’s honest with himself, there is also a side of him that is a bit distressed. There is a major vulnerability to being on full display like this, not to mention the trust that’s necessary for him to allow someone such physical access. But it’s Harry, with his genuine warmth and easy-going personality, who is seeing him this way. And it’s Harry who has him so inebriated with lust that all of his inhibitions are reduced to nothing. _Perfect, angelic Harry_ , Louis thinks.

As he feels Harry’s tongue on his rim for the first time, he finds himself biting his hand hard to keep his cock from getting too excited too fast. Harry pushes his thighs wider apart and buries his face between Louis’ open cheeks, stimulating the sensitive bundle of nerves there. His tongue moves in small circles around his rim, teasing Louis mercilessly while he thrashes around.

“Stay still,” Harry commands, using his weight and his large hands to hold Louis’ hips in place.

Before Louis can even react to that directive, Harry licks a broad stripe up from Louis’ balls to the bottom of his spine.

“Oh God…oh fuck.”

Harry’s tongue finds its way back to that tight hole, this time accompanied by a finger, both putting slight pressure on his hole.

Before this moment, Louis never had a desire to be fucked. His fantasies always involved him fingering or fucking someone, never the other way around. In this moment, however, there is absolutely nothing Louis wants more than for Harry to split him open and fill him up, preferably with fingers, tongue _and_ dick. Whatever he can get, he’ll take it. This delicious desperation to be filled is brand new and he barely has time to question it with Harry stimulating him in a new way every few seconds. He is barely conscious of the sounds that are coming from his throat, completely out of his control such as they are.

When Harry’s tongue pushes past the ring of muscle, breaching him for the first time, he cries out loudly, “Harry, that’s…ah!”

Just as quickly as it starts, it stops. Louis is gasping at the loss of contact where he needs it most.

“Lou, you’re so tight. Gonna get some lube and open you with my fingers, okay?”

“Mm-hmm.” Louis begins rutting against the pillow, trying to get some much-needed relief for his cock. A few seconds later he feels Harry’s hand again, firmly planted on his hip.

“Shhh, I’m back. I’ll take care of you, just relax.”

A warm, wet finger broaches his hole again, causing him to jerk forward into the pillow. He tries to relax as that long finger pushes inside him slowly, up to the first knuckle. There is a slight burning sensation, and Louis is thankful that Harry has seemed to stop for the moment.

“This okay, Lou? You’re so tight.” Harry’s finger retreats slightly and then pushes in again, if only slightly.

“Yeah, s’good. Just…I never…”

“Never what?” Harry stills inside him.

“Never did this before.”

“What? Louis, God…” Harry pulls his finger out, instead placing his palm all too gently on Louis’ upper thigh.

“No, no, no! Don’t stop. Please, that was…I want that.”

“You sure? We don’t have to.” Harry leans over, assessing Louis’ facial expression.

“Yes, I’m more than sure. _Please_.” Louis is not above begging. Not if it involves Harry and his fingers moving deliciously over him. Over his hole. _Jesus._

“Okay. Just, tell me if it’s too much. I don’t want to hurt you, okay?”

“’kay, yeah.”

Louis can’t see it but Harry has all he can do to contain the laughter that bubbling up because of Louis’ adorably needy voice and the cute way his perfect bum is gyrating in front of him. Harry quickly resumes the exquisite torture at his rim, pushing in once again. “Just relax, babe. Deep breaths, and push out a bit…..yeah, just like that. Let me in.” Harry pushes in slowly, stopping at each knuckle to let Louis adjust.

“If it hasn’t started to feel good yet, I promise it will. Just takes a little time at the beginning.” When Louis doesn’t respond, Harry quickly adds, “I’m getting more lube for you, babe.” And Louis can hear the cap pop off the bottle at the same time Harry’s finger retreats, leaving him feeling empty in a way he never experienced before.

With more lube, Harry is able to push in easier and there is less burning this time. Once Harry’s finger is all the way in and Louis has a moment to adjust, Harry begins to move in and out in short thrusts.

“Oh, that’s, um…mmm…better,” Louis moans.

Harry begins moving in longer, deeper thrusts and Louis’ pleasure becomes greater with each one. Suddenly Louis can feel Harry’s tongue back on his rim. “Harry!” Louis’ hips begin pumping, pushing his dick into the pillow and then pushing back to take Harry’s finger in deeper.

“Hey, stop.” With his free hand, Harry holds Louis’ hips in place. “You’re not supposed to move, remember?” Harry taps Louis’ hips. “Get up on your knees.” Louis does as he is told and Harry pulls the pillows out from under him.

Louis looks at Harry questioningly.

“You trust me?”

Louis nods.

“I’ll take care of you, I promise. Lean your forearms on top of the headboard, okay? It’ll be too much if you have friction on both sides. Besides, the longer you hold off, the more intense it’ll be.” Harry smoothes his large hand across Louis’ supple bum which is now perched in the air, his knees planted on the bed a little more than hip-width apart, bum pushed out and begging for attention. “Just relax and feel it. I’ve got you.”

The sensations in Louis’ body are reeling. His dick is hard as fuck and he wants the friction of the pillow again. The cold, hard headboard feels nice against his sweaty hands though. And Harry’s fingers are back on his rim again, thank fuck. One finger glides in easier this time while Harry simultaneously squeezes Louis’ bum cheek hard. Louis’ entire body jerks when he feels Harry’s tongue lick across his perineum. Then Harry pushes in deep and retreats again, picking up tempo.

“Lou, you feel amazing. So smooth and tight.”

Harry curls his finger inside Louis. It doesn’t hurt but it stretches Louis in a new way. Harry does it again at a slightly different angle and, “Fuck! Oh my fuck, Harry!”

“Mmm, God, Lou.” Harry pulls his finger out slightly, kissing Louis’ gorgeous hips at the same time.

“Don’t stop. Do that again.”

Harry laughed. “Oh we’re not done. Patience, baby.” Harry withdraws completely and holds Louis by the hips while he kisses across the small of Louis’ back. “I think you’re ready for two fingers, don’t you?”

“Fuck, yes.”

The bottle of lube is in play again as Harry prepares another finger. “I hope you realize how much restraint it takes to look at you like this, listen to the sounds you make and not stroke myself until I come all over these sheets.”

“You should come all over me, not the sheets.”

“Fuck, stop it, Lou! I’m trying to last, to make this good for you.”

Louis is about to start begging, the thought of Harry coming on his arse making him almost come himself, but then he feels Harry pushing into him with two fingers and his mind goes blank.

The stretch is a bit much at first but it quickly becomes incredibly satisfying again. Louis wants to kick himself for not having experienced this much earlier in life. But then he reminds himself that it’s Harry who makes this so good. He’s never done this with anyone before so, yeah, maybe it could feel this good with anyone else but he seriously doubts that. Before he can think any further, Harry’s tongue returns, sliding in between his fingers, stretching Louis further and making him whimper.

“Mmmm,” Harry hums in between thrusts.

Louis tries to squirm, pushing back from the headboard, but Harry’s heavy arm across his lower back reminds him to keep still. When Harry crooks his finger and hits his prostate again, Louis bucks so hard against Harry’s hand and screams out in pleasure. “Jesus, fuck!”

Harry follows that up with a full attack of lips and tongue against Louis’ hole, alternating kisses with sucking and darting his tongue in and out while Louis continues to thrash. Then Harry inserts his fingers again, seeking out Louis’ prostate mercilessly, making Louis jerk forward in vain attempts to seek release.

“It’s too good, Harry. I can’t--.”

“Shhh, Lou. You can.” Harry ceases all contact with Louis’ hole briefly, letting him catch his breath while pressing tiny kisses all over his back side. Harry licks up Louis’ inner thighs while squeezing both cheeks hard with large, strong hands. Spreading his cheeks wide, Harry laps up his crevice and sucks on his fluttering rim. “Alright, babe, keep your eyes closed and let yourself feel it, okay? ‘M gonna give you my fingers again.”

Louis lets out a loud whimper.

Two lubed fingers push into Louis slowly. The sensation of being filled is overwhelming and completely welcomed. Louis clenches around those long digits, holding them in place, never wanting them to retreat.

“You're doing great,” Harry whispers while gently rubbing Louis’ hips and cheeks with his free hand.

Louis tries to breathe steadily, focusing on Harry’s voice.

“You want to try three?”

“Yeah….yes, please.”

Harry grins behind Louis. Pushing in delicately with a third finger, Harry resumes the delicious assault on Louis’ senses.

The sounds Louis is making would be embarrassing to him if he was at all conscious of them. As it is, all he can do is hold on to the headboard for dear life and bite into his own arm while Harry begins a slow but steady thrust of those three fingers inside Louis. In and out, in and out, curling slightly to hit his prostate ever couple strokes. Louis’ cries are muffled by his arm, his thighs shaking as he valiantly tries not to come until Harry tell him it’s okay.

“That good, babe? God, you look amazing stretched around me.”

Louis just gets louder in response, still completely unaware of anything but the feel of Harry inside him. And just when he thinks it can't get better, Harry reaches around and wraps long fingers around Louis’ cock, stroking him firmly.

“Okay, baby, let go for me.”

It takes a few seconds to register what Harry said but, when it sinks in, Louis shoots off harder than he could have ever imagined possible. And for fuck’s sake, he’s tearing up. Of course. Of course, he is. _I’m not crying. I’m not fucking crying!_ Louis fights off the emotion before it overtakes him, tries to hide his face with his arm while he collapses onto the soft bed. His belly wet as he lies in his own come, trying to collect himself.

Gently, Harry squeezes Louis’ hip. Moving up his back, Harry presses little kisses on the back of his neck and the space just under his ear lobe. “You okay?” Harry whispers.

As he turns his head towards Harry, Louis wipes his tears onto his arm, hoping Harry won’t notice. His eyes remaining shut, Louis reaches for Harry, wrapping an arm around the bigger man’s upper body, and pulling him close for a cuddle, not trusting himself to speak just yet.

Moments pass in a warm silence. Louis catches his breath properly while Harry’s fingers trace through his hair. When Louis’ heartrate settles and he still doesn’t move, Harry walks his fingers to the underside of Louis’ chin and tilts his head up to get a good look at him. Louis keeps his eyes downcast for a second before hesitantly looking up into those gorgeous green eyes. Harry has a kind, wide smile and Louis can’t help but crack a smile in return, if a little self-consciously. Sue him if he’s a little unsure of himself. This is new territory. He knows this really isn’t a big deal. Or maybe it is, if only to him, but he’s not going to make it into one. He doesn’t want to draw any more attention to his embarrassing lack of experience.

“I might’ve gotten a little carried away. Your bum is irresistible.”

Louis’ grin threatens to grow to epic proportions so he bites his bottom lip. So maybe Harry enjoyed himself a bit. That’s a good thing, Louis thinks, because maybe he’ll want to do that again sometime. Louis can only hope. And pray. And, quite possibly beg. Hiding any telltale signs of his embarrassingly needy thoughts, Louis burrows his face into Harry’s soft t-shirt once again.  

“So did I satisfy in full, or do you want a refund?”

Louis needs to take control again. Surrendering like that to Harry was surprisingly good but he’s had enough emotional vulnerability for one day. Louis plants little kisses along Harry’s collarbone before finding those alluring green eyes again. With a smirk, he asks, “Depends what kind of refund we’re talking about.” They both giggle.

Still maintaining eye contact, Harry reaches down to Louis’ belly, smearing the wet come around. Bringing his fingers to his own lips he smears some come across his bottom lip and then licks it off while Louis watches.

“You’re obscene.” Louis can’t help but touch Harry’s red, puffy lips.

“Is that a complaint?” Harry is smirking.

“No, but I would like to note a different complaint. You’re not naked and that’s unacceptable.”

Harry smiles, looking a little guilty. “I’ll get something to clean us up and then we’ll have a naked cuddle and nap.”

Louis looks down at Harry’s crotch as he gets up off the bed. “Did you come from that?”

Harry smirks, cheeks blushing. “Maybe,” he says as he walks toward the ensuite.

When they’ve both wiped themselves clean and are cuddled up again, this time with Louis as the big spoon, Louis declares, “This is what’s going to happen: Nap, shower and dinner. In that order.”

“Yeah, okay,” Harry replies quietly. He brings Louis’ hand to his lips and kisses him gently before snuggling up even closer. Louis hears him snoring within seconds.

“Mmm, you were right. This is the best Chinese takeout ever. I’m gonna need a couple more of these damn egg rolls,” Louis demands while dripping duck sauce down his chin.

“There’s plenty more. Help yourself.” Harry reaches across the table and thumbs off the duck sauce, licking it up and looking adorable with his dimples on full display. “I’ve gotten to know the owners pretty well and they usually pop a couple extras in all my orders. They’re a sweet couple.”

“Must be the dimples.”

“They work every time.” Harry shrugs and smiles even bigger so his dimples practically shine like a blinding ray of sunlight from each cheek.

Louis shakes his head, laughing. “You’ve really got it made, you know. You work at a place where the sole purpose is to guide people down a path of relaxation and wellness, something that is integral to your very soul. And you’re impossibly good looking, sweet and charming which makes everyone in both the resort and this entire town adore you. Oh, and also nestled in your little utopia here is your best mate who is inarguably one of the coolest people ever. What more could you want?”

Slurping down a spinach-mango smoothie while Louis teases him, Harry is giggling so much that Louis fears he’ll spray the green muck all over the kitchen. Regaining his composure, he admits that his life is pretty good. “I do like it here but I’ve never stayed anywhere this long. I mean, not since high school. Growing up I always had this massive desire to travel. Didn’t like the idea of staying in one place too long so as soon as I could, I sort of took off to see the world. I bought this house just over a year ago when I decided to accept the job at the Riptide, even though I didn’t really plan on making this job permanent.”

“Oh yeah?” Louis fished another egg roll out of a waxy take-out bag, waiting for Harry to continue.

“Yeah, I only bought it because I had been coming back here to visit Niall in between my various jobs overseas and thought, since I’d be staying longer than normal this time, I should at least have my own place. And, also, it would be here for my future visits – after my time at the Riptide is done. I love traveling and I usually only take jobs that are temporary, like three to six months tops. Mostly I’ve done massage or taught Pilates or yoga at various places like France, Thailand, and Venezuela. I don’t make a ton of money, get paid in lodging more than anything else but it’s often resort lodging so it’s usually pretty nice. Taking short assignments allows me to keep exploring new places, experiencing new things all the time. I don’t know, it just sort of feeds this hunger in me, I guess. I’ve met so many amazing people from all over the world, too. So, yeah, I can’t complain. It’s a good life.”

“What about your family? When do you see them?” Louis has literally stuffed himself full of egg rolls now. His waistband is feeling a bit tight around his belly so he pushes his empty plate away and leans back in his chair.

“Well, Gem visits me at least twice a year. She doesn’t travel much otherwise so it’s her excuse to see her little brother and get out to a new place, wherever I happen to be at the time. I normally see her this time of year but she delayed her visit because of the pregnancy. Guess she’s been having morning sickness all day long.”

“That’s shit.”

“Yeah. My mum’s living just outside Manchester though. As I mentioned before, she travels a lot. I don’t visit her much but I do Skype with her on the regular. She’s moved around so much so it’s not like I have a childhood home to go back to, you know?”

“Ah. So where are you off to next? What’s the next big thing for Harry Styles?” It takes effort to keep his voice steady and cool as he asks that.

“I’m trying to figure that out, actually. There’s a couple of possibilities right now. One is Sydney which would be very cool but it’s for a year which feels like a big commitment. And then there’s this wellness spa in Tahiti that is trying to offer me a Wellness Director position but I’ve told them I’d only be interested in an instructor position for a limited time. I’m waiting for them to get back to me on that.”

“Wow, you’re in high demand then, yeah? So many options.”

“Yeah.” Harry is quiet suddenly and the light in his eyes seems to have dimmed.

“Well, don’t sound so excited there.”

“No, they’re great opportunities, just…I don’t know. Like you said, it’s pretty good here and I think I’ve enjoyed having a place that’s really mine for once. I’ve had fun doing all the landscaping and gardening. You should have seen this place when I bought it. It was pretty run down. I’ve actually spent a lot of time fixing it up and it feels good, like I’ve sort of built something here.”

“Jesus. You’re a good cook, you do household renovations, and landscaping too? And let’s not forget, you’re a world-renown massage therapist, yogi and a theater costume designer. It’s kind of disgusting actually.”

Harry reaches across the table to swat Louis’ shoulder, feigning offense. This makes Louis laugh and he jokingly fights back, fists in the air, eyes crinkled in a warm smile at the curly boy in front of him.

“I actually haven’t done much traveling outside of the U.K. and the States, that is. Australia sounds great. I’d definitely like to go there someday.” Louis gets lost in thought for a moment. “You’re like a butterfly, Harry. You flit around from place to place, looking all beautiful and delicate. Each leaf you land on probably hopes you’ll stay but then you’re off again in search of the next beautiful leaf.”

“Stop.”

“No, it’s so true. And I’m like the boring inchworm on one of those leaves. I’m there for a long, long time. Totally dependable. Just doing my thing. You can look away for ages and then look back and, surprise, I’m still there.”

“First of all, inchworm? Not a chance. More like one of those caterpillars that has the most beautiful pattern of colors that you just have to capture in a picture. And, yeah, you’re dependable and maybe stick around the same place for a long while but your leaves will be all devastated when you do go. They’ll turn brown, shrivel up and die without you. Whereas mine might be sad for a moment, wilting ever so slightly, but then they’ll get over it and thrive again in the sunlight.”

Louis just shakes his head. He doesn’t know what to say to that, and the thought of departing from this place soon is something he doesn’t want to think about. Wanting to lift the mood and, yes, take attention off of himself, Louis changes the subject. “Can we take a walk or something? I need to walk off the ten pounds of Chinese I just ingested. There’s still a little light left in the day so you can show me your landscaping projects while we’re out there.”

Later that night, just as they’re falling asleep, limbs entwined, Louis swears he hears Harry whisper, “Caterpillars turn into butterflies.”


	12. Chapter 12

It’s nine-thirty in the morning and Louis is just walking into the main entrance of the Riptide. Harry’s shift at the spa started at eight o’clock but he had all but demanded that Louis have a lie-in, leaving him the keys to his house with instructions to drop them off at the front desk with Zayn. Before he can get that far, however, Louis is greeted by another guest.

“Louis Tomlinson?” a deep, male voice calls out from the hallway to his left.

Louis recognizes the voice right away and grits his teeth before turning his head in the man’s direction and offering up a fake smile. “Alex, hello.”

“Taking some time off?”

“Yeah, on a bit of a holiday, you could say. And yourself?”

“Well, technically I’m working.” Alex places air quotes around his last word. “Had a breakfast meeting this morning with an orthopedic surgeon we’re trying to recruit. We need to add someone to the practice in this area. Our current surgeon has a bit of a drug problem but he’s really good – well, when he’s sober – so we don’t want to let him go quite yet. Brings in too much revenue. He’s a bit of a party guy and knows a lot of professional athletes in the Cities. They seek him out whenever they get injured. Then do a little coke with him during their recovery.” Alex laughs and shrugs it off. Like it’s actually a thing you can shrug off.

Louis has never liked Alex but he (or rather, the health system he works for) is a client of the firm’s so he has to play make believe with him, humoring him despite the way he makes Louis’ skin crawl.

“Hey, a few others from corporate are meeting me here tonight for dinner and drinks. You should join us. We’ll get an extra bottle of the best wine this place offers. It’s on the company’s tab, might as well live it up.”

“Oh, thanks for the invite. I’m actually booked up for the next couple of days and then I’ll likely be flying back to London. Maybe next time?”

“Sure thing. Enjoy this place. There’s a lot of young, hot summer help here. Take advantage, if you know what I mean. I had a sweet piece of ass last night.” Alex punctuates that with a creepy wink.

“Like I said --.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Tomlinson?” Zayn interrupts.

“Oh, Zayn. Hi.”

“Good morning. Sorry to interrupt, but Mr. Payne left you another file. I’ve got it behind the desk. If you’d like, I could grab it for you right now.”

“Yes, yes, I had forgotten he was going to drop that off today. Thanks for catching me.” Louis gives Alex a tight smile. “Alex, I better run. My schedule for the day just got even tighter.”

“I’m sure we’ll be in touch soon. We’ve got multiple transactions coming up, many of which will require external legal review.”

“Terrific. Take care.” With that, Louis heads back to the front desk with Zayn beside him.

When Alex is out of sight, Zayn leans across the desk and discreetly says, “Tell me that guy’s not a friend of yours.”

“Friend? No. Client? Yes. Unfortunately.”

“Good. He’s a complete asshole. Was drunk in the Grill last night and hit on every female employee he possibly could. Had them all feeling uncomfortable.”

“Not a surprise. He’s quite sleazy. And desperately lacking business ethics too. Ugh, there are some aspects to my job that are quite distasteful. I deal with a lot of people who make a lot of money off the back of sick, helpless people. We do a lot of good too, but he’s definitely the bad side.”

“I don’t know how you do it, bro. You seem like a great guy, Liam too. That sort of crap has to eat away at you both.”

Louis shrugs. “I suppose it does but, in the end, it’s a good paying job that’s allowed me to provide for my family back home and they’re what really matters to me.” Louis changes the subject, not wanting to think about work, or Asshole Alex, any longer. “You don’t really have anything from Liam, do you?”

“No. Just wanted to give you an out if you were looking for one.”

“Appreciate it. So…I know you and Liam exchanged numbers.”

Zayn’s eyes get wide for a second. “Yeah, um, that okay?”

Louis laughs at Zayn’s obvious discomfort. “Sure. Just, I don’t want him hurt, that’s all.”

“Oh, of course. Well, I don’t even know if he’ll call me but, yeah, if he does…”

“I don’t mean to be a dick. He’s the best guy there is, the absolute best mate I’ll ever have.”   Louis rakes his fingers through his fluffy hair and sighs. “I know he’s interested in you but I don’t know if he’ll call. Fuck, this is none of my business and, obviously, there’s nothing serious between you and here I am acting like you’ve asked for his hand in marriage. Jesus, forget I said anything.”

“Louis, look, I like him. If he calls, I’d be ecstatic, I’m not gonna lie. I’m a pretty open and honest guy, particularly with people I date. I’m not into hurting people, okay.”

“I know, Zayn. Seriously, forget this. Please. I’m being overprotective. Oh, hey, um, I actually have something for Harry. He asked me to leave it with you.”

Louis hands him a small envelope, which Zayn eyes curiously. “Yeah, of course. I’ll see that he gets it.”

“Thanks. Listen, I gotta run. I’m meeting Niall for horseback riding shortly.”

“Sounds like fun. Have a great time.”

Louis smiles and walks swiftly towards the elevator bank, feeling a bit hypocritical. Here he’s warning Zayn not to hurt Liam, a guy he hasn’t even gone on one date with, and meanwhile he’s just gotten back from an overnight at Harry’s, a guy he’s…what? Dating? Just fucking? Louis doesn’t have a clue. Maybe he should take his own advice.

“Fuck me,” he berates himself, alone in the elevator.

Horseback riding with Niall is interesting. And possibly disastrous. It takes a bit of time for Louis to get comfortable riding the horse. He’s never done it before, but Niall promises he chose the calmest mare in the Riptide stables. Once he gets the hang of it, it's actually fun – more fun than Louis had thought it would be. The weather is warm, the sun shining brightly. Louis finds the ride relaxing. He can still feel a mild soreness from the thorough finger-fucking Harry gave him last night, a reminder he is happy to keep at the forefront of his mind. This habit of always thinking of Harry is getting out of hand, Louis thinks, but he can’t stop it all the same.

And that’s how his time with Niall takes a bad turn. They just returned the horses to the stables and stood together watching one of the hired hands fit a new shoe onto a horse. Niall tells Louis about his first experience riding a horse. It's a funny story, as he has come to expect from Niall. He was thrown from the horse after trying out war yelps he’d seen on old westerns. The friend he was with at the time, Jesse, was laughing so hard he could barely help Niall off the ground.

“Jesse’s such a bastard. If he didn’t have the face of a ten-year-old, I’d have punched him in the jaw for not warning me his horse was extremely skittish.”

“Oh Jesse, is he the guy who works at the high school with you? The one who stood in for one of the lead roles when the kid got sick?”

Niall had looked at Louis curiously, eyes squinted in confusion. “Yeah, that’s Jesse. Who told you about that?”

“Um…” Louis swallows loudly. “Ah, I guess Harry maybe mentioned it?” And maybe that by itself wouldn’t have been a big deal but the massive blush that spreads across Louis’ face as he says Harry’s name is enough of a guilty admission for Niall.

“Harry, huh?” Niall continues to stare at Louis until Louis looks up from staring a hole through his shoes. “The two of you have been spending time together then?”

Louis turns away, trying to hide his blush, not sure what he should say. Apparently Harry hasn’t mentioned anything to Niall about the two of them hanging out. Louis had wondered, and now he has his answer. Niall sounds very surprised. And also maybe a bit concerned.

Niall steps in front of him, forcing Louis to look him in the eyes. “Lou.”

“Um, yeah, we’ve hung out a bit, I guess. It’s not like I was trying to keep it from you, just wasn’t sure it was my place to tell you, is all. I hope it doesn’t bother you.”

“It’s none of my business, of course. Just, you’re both good friends and I care about you. If you’re just having fun… I mean, who am I to say anything about that? _But_ , the look on your face right now makes me think there’s more to it than that.”

“Niall, I really couldn’t even begin to put a label on it. This sort of thing – I don’t know anything about it, to be honest. But I do know that Harry is a good person and I would never want to hurt him.”

“And we both know he wouldn’t set out to hurt anyone either. But that doesn’t mean that he won’t. Everyone loves Harry. I love Harry. God, I sound like I’m warning you off and I’m not. I’m really not.” Niall rakes a hand through his puffy blond hair. “Look, I’ve never known Harry to look for something serious, that’s all. And I haven’t known you long but you don’t seem like a ‘hit-it-and-quit-it’ sort of guy. Mate, you know I like you. Hell, I fucking _love_ the idea of you and Harry. I’m actually more worried about you than him. You look scared to death.”

That makes Louis laugh, lifting some of his unease. “No, no. You just caught me off guard. I’m fine. This is – this thing with Harry and I, it’s fun hanging out with him. He’s great. I wasn’t sure what you would think. And fuck’s sake, the really weird thing is I just had a similar conversation with Zayn earlier. About him and Liam. Did the whole over-protective best mate thing. But in my case, it was way over-zealous because they haven’t even went on one date yet and here I was practically threatening Zayn like a total dick.”

“Wow, jumped the gun, did ya?”

“Definitely.”

“Good. Then I don’t have to feel bad about sticking my nose into your business. Forget I said anything. You’re both adults and it’s definitely not my place.” Niall punches Louis in the shoulder. “You dog, Lou!”

“That’s enough from you.” Louis plugs his ears and starts walking off towards the main resort building.

“Oh shit, my two best mates are sucking each other off. Blech! Now I’ve got all kinds of visuals in my head. Ahhh!” Niall is acting disgusted but his smile is a mile wide and there is a blinding gleam in his eyes as he catches up with Louis.

“Stop it!” Louis reaches over and tweaks Niall’s nipple hard, effectively shutting him up for the time being.

After they part ways so Niall can cover a shift for one of the servers at the Grill, Louis quickly texts Harry to warn him.

Louis: Niall knows we’ve been hanging out. I sort of unintentionally told him. SORRY!!!!!

Harry: WTF??? *^%*!!!

Harry: Just kidding. (: NBD. Is he mad at me for not telling him?

Louis: idk but I don’t think so. Was just surprised, I think.

Harry: K. None of his business but I’m sure he’ll pry anyway! Are we still on for tomorrow night?

Louis: Yes (to Niall prying and tomorrow night)

Harry: Damn it, why isn’t there a handcuff emoji?

Louis: Um? Are you planning on arresting Niall?

Harry: Eww! I’m not thinking about Niall.

Louis: You’re so inappropriate.

Harry: You’re a bad influence. I was pure and innocent until I met you.

Louis: The skills of your hands, lips and tongue indicate otherwise.

Harry: Now who’s inappropriate? (;             

Entering his suite once again, Louis sits down in front of the telly with a bag of Doritos and a beer. He’s got no plans for the rest of the day and is more than happy to have an evening of lazing about in front of the telly.

Only about an hour in, Liam rings him. Louis can tell by the tone of his voice that he’s bursting at the seams with some big news.

“Spit it out, Payno,” Louis prods.

“I have a date with Zayn.”

“Really? He call you, or did you call him?” Not that it’s any of Louis’ business, but he’s curious if Zayn called Liam after their talk this morning, or if he waited for Liam to call like he seemed to be doing before Louis butted in.

“I called him. We’re meeting at a restaurant tomorrow night.”

“I would have thought you’d be more freaked out than you sound right now.”

“Oh, I’m a bit freaked for sure, but also kinda hopped up over it. I’m going to take your advice, Tommo, and just be totally honest. Let the cards fall where they may and all that.”

“Brilliant plan. I’ll want a full report, of course.”

“Just hope he doesn’t bail instantly. But I’ll understand if he does.”

“I do think he likes you but, the good thing is, he’s a decent guy so if he has a problem with your situation then he’ll at least be honest and let you know that straight away.”

“Yeah, I know. So how are you, mate? Tell me what’s going on with Hot Harry.”

“I don’t know what’s going on. We’re having dinner tomorrow night too. It’s fun, Li, but I’m starting to wonder how smart this is. I’ll be leaving soon and I don’t think it would be wise to make this into something bigger than it is.”

“Don’t hold yourself back though. Yeah, you’ll be leaving soon but it’s not like you can’t come back. If you want.”

“But can I really? I mean, yes, I can come back for little chunks of time but I’ve got a family that needs me back in London. I’m always going to need to go back there. Ugh, I don’t know why I’m even stressing about this. Harry’s not looking for anything serious. He wouldn’t even want me if I was sticking around.”

“Did he say that?”

Louis thinks about Harry’s lifestyle, how he doesn’t accept jobs that are more than six months in duration because he doesn’t like to stay in any one place for very long. “Not in those words but, yeah, basically.”

“Just make sure you’re not putting words in his mouth. Maybe you should take your own advice and be straight with him about how you feel. Because I know you feel something for him or you wouldn’t be messing around with him in the first place. You’re not the hit-it-and-quit-it type.”

“That’s a popular and very stupid phrase.”

“Just speaking the truth.”

“Well, enough of that shit. Hey, I’ve been meaning to tell you my mum’s house sold.”

“Really? Wow, that seems quick.”

“Yeah and the buyers are in a hurry to move in.   I told the realtor to push back on the date they suggested but, obviously, we don’t want to jeopardize the sale so, yeah. Just waiting to hear the final closing date and then I’ll be booking a flight back.”

“Just let me know when and I’ll go with you.”

Louis sighs in relief. “You’re the best, Li. Thank you so much.”

“No need to thank me. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Alright then, get to work and stop wanking over Zayn. We’ll talk soon.”

“K, see ya, bro.”

The rest of Louis’ evening goes by in a blur of telly, Cheetos and texts from Harry. It has become obvious that Harry is very into flirting via text messages so it’s not a surprise when he actually takes a photo of himself tweaking one of his many nipples.

Louis: FFS! No more pics unless you plan on coming up to my suite to blow me.

Harry: If only you’d have sent that invitation a half hour ago. Just got home. Probably for the best though. After that double shift, I can barely move my hands.

Louis: Well rest up now. Your hands have plenty of work to do tomorrow night.

Harry: Trust me, I’ll be more than ready.

Louis: And if you’re not, no worries. I’ll just tie you up and do all sorts of unspeakable things to you. On you, in you….

Harry: On second thought, I’m pretty sure my hands are still going to be useless by tomorrow night.

Louis: (:

Harry: Take your smiley face and go to sleep.

Louis: If you’d stop texting me, maybe I could.

Harry: Fine.

Louis: Good.

Harry: Be that way.

Louis: I will.

Harry: Good night, Lou.

Louis: zzzzZ


	13. Chapter 13

Louis is just about to pull into Harry’s driveway. It’s been a long day and he’s just glad it’s finally Harry Time. During the drive over his stress level dissipates somewhat but he’s still a bit annoyed at having had multiple conversations with the realtor and Lauren as they negotiated back and forth with the potential buyers. Their latest response was to pay for new carpet in the living room in exchange for a later move-in date. The buyers now have 48 hours to respond.

But now he’s at Harry’s door and is going to put all of that aside to focus on a night of fun with the gorgeous man. And, oh God, gorgeous doesn’t even do him justice because tonight he’s met with a green-eyed hottie wearing a green and yellow Packers jersey which fits him beautifully. Louis doesn’t know which is better, dressed up-and-ready-to-pull-Harry or casual-and-athletic-Harry.

“Hi, green eyes.”

“Hi, Daddy.”

“What?!” Louis yelps, taken aback but enjoying the naughty glint in Harry’s eyes all the same.

“Hey, I can’t help it. You’ve got the quiff tonight. It’s hot.”

“Well, I had too much time on my hands, waiting around all day for someone to get done working.”

“Whatever you say, Daddy.” Harry winks. He fucking winks.

Louis can’t help but tug an especially curly lock. “Could that top be any tighter on you?”

“You don’t like it?” Harry pouts.

“Never have gotten around to liking American football, probably because it’s not football, but if everyone who played it looked like you, I might watch a game or two,” Louis says with a smirk.

Instead of replying, Harry grabs Louis by his black t-shirt and pulls him into the house. Louis follows Harry into the kitchen and watches as he puts a salad together. They talk about their days, Louis giving Harry a brief update about the 48-hour deadline for the buyer’s to accept the current terms. Louis enjoys watching Harry in the kitchen. He makes it all look so simple and he’s always bright and cheery when he’s cooking. It’s endearing. Harry has only been home for about thirty minutes but somehow he’s got lasagna baking in the oven. Apparently he prepared it last night after his double shift. It’s ridiculous how perfect he is, Louis thinks.

The two men retire to Harry’s living room to wait out the last twenty minutes before the lasagna is done. Switching on the telly, Louis spreads out on the sofa with his back to the arm. Harry sits down as well, lifting Louis’ legs up and plunking Louis’ feet in his lap, giving Louis an unsolicited foot massage.

“You know you don’t have to do that, right?” Louis says in between moans. Harry just smiles and goes at it with more fervor, tickling Louis maliciously. Louis tears his feet away and flips himself so his head is in Harry’s lap instead. He looks up at Harry who is smiling down at him, all dimples surrounded by long curly locks. Louis smiles back, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Harry replies, in a near whisper.

It’s suddenly quiet in the room. Not really, because the telly is still on, but Louis can’t really hear it any longer. He’s too busy staring at the angel leaning over him, green eyes getting darker as he gets closer. When those perfectly pink bow-tie lips touch his, Louis reaches up and cups each side of Harry’s head, his neck straining up, giving his tongue greater access to Harry’s mouth. The kiss is slow and lazy but there’s just enough pressure to hint at their mutual need. Louis cards his fingers into Harry’s locks, tugging them until he hears Harry whine into his mouth. Louis breaks the kiss, pushing himself up. He grabs the remote control and turns the telly off then turns so he is facing Harry, still sitting on the sofa.

“Can I ask you something?” He fiddles with the drawstring on his trackies, wrapping it around his fingers and yanking it tight.

“Sure.”

“Um, the other day when you were trying to relax me with that massage, you mentioned something. Maybe you were joking, I don’t know, but I was wondering if maybe you were serious about wanting to be tied up. Or, um, blind-folded.” Louis squirms a bit, ducking his head down as a blush warms his face, fingers still tugging at the drawstring.

“Oh.” Harry eyes go wide. “Um, yeah.” Harry sits up a little straighter, folding one leg under himself, hand gripping his ankle. “I’ve kinda always wanted to do that but I’ve never been with anyone I trusted enough to just, like, submit like that, you know?”  

Louis nods, braving eye contact with Harry. “Well, it’s kind of a fantasy of mine, so.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean, not like I’ve ever actually done it though. Just, wouldn’t mind trying. If you wanted to.” Louis bites his lip, holding his breath.

“I would let you.” Harry blushes as he says this but the look in his eyes is nothing if not determined.

Louis can see Harry’s chest rising and falling rapidly. That he is already getting turned on just by the idea of them doing this? God, he can feel his cock filling already. “Come here.” Louis reaches for Harry, grabbing his wrist and pulling him on top of him as he lays down on the sofa, loving the feel of Harry’s weight pressed against him. Their lips meet, tongues tangling in the heat that is rapidly building between them. Louis buries one hand in Harry’s curls, tugging as he licks deeper into Harry’s mouth. Harry whimpers and Louis can feel the familiar warmth pooling low in his abdomen.

“I like when you pull my hair,” Harry pants, his breath falling on Louis' lips.

"I like that you like that." Louis can feel the thrill of something electric shooting through his veins.

“Like it a bit rough, so rough all I can do is just take it.”

 _Fuuuuck._ Louis isn’t sure if he says that out loud or screams it in his head. Either way, he grinds even harder against Harry’s cock. They kiss for a while more, Louis biting Harry’s lower lip, hands wandering everywhere, seeking more and more contact. Louis rucks up Harry’s shirt, scratching his nails down Harry’s back and he bucks his hips up, desperate to find friction for his cock.

And then, _shit_! The oven timer goes off. Harry basically collapses on top of Louis, burying his head in the crook of Louis’ shoulder and groaning in frustration.

It takes them a bit to get their breathing regulated, then Louis deadpans, “Dinner’s ready.” Harry laughs and hugs him around the waist before pulling his long body off of Louis, getting up to tend to the lasagna before it burns.

It is slightly burned but Louis actually likes it that way and tells Harry so. They eat their dinner chatting easily throughout. When they finish, Harry brings out dessert. It’s chocolate mousse with Oreos on the side and Harry tops it off with a little whip cream from a can. Louis immediately has inappropriate thoughts involving that can of whip cream but, of course, is distracted by his yummy dessert.

Once he finishes it though, his sense of mischief kicks into high gear. Harry collects their dishes and brings them to the sink to rinse them. Louis creeps up behind him, whip cream can in hand, and waits for Harry to turn around. As soon as he does, Louis sprays Harry’s mouth, getting whip cream all over his face. Harry cackles at him, grabbing him around the waist and trying to take the can from him.

“Just wanted to give you a facial, babe. You look so good like that.” Louis leans in, “Here let me lick it off.” He licks across Harry’s lips and Harry uses that as his opportunity to steal the can away. An all-out war ensues and there is whip cream everywhere – in their hair, on their clothes and all over the floor where Louis has tackled Harry, pinning the taller man underneath him, straddling Harry’s hips.

Louis’ got Harry’s hands pinned over his head, Harry’s chest heaving under him. “Got you. You can struggle all you want but you’re mine now.”

Harry stops struggling beneath him, green eyes turning darker by the second. Louis can feel Harry’s hard-on under him so he scoots back just far enough that he can reach down with one hand and stroke the hard line of his erection.

“Want you,” Harry whines.

Louis tightens his knees around Harry, stilling his bucking hips. “Want you to get up, go into your room and get these messy clothes off you. Then I want you to find a scarf or a bandana and wait for me on your bed. Can you do that?”

Harry stills briefly, then nods. Louis stands up so Harry can do as he was told. Louis washes his sticky hands off in the kitchen sink then locates the can of whip cream on the floor. His shirt is a mess so he takes it off, noticing how stretchy and soft it is. _Perfect_ , he thinks. He waits ‘til he no longer hears movement in the bedroom and then heads in there himself. He’s already hard just thinking about what he wants to do to Harry but when he actually sees Harry lying naked and obedient on the bed with a scarf placed next to him, his dick twitches in response.

Approaching quietly, Louis places his t-shirt on the bed and picks up the scarf instead. Bending down, he whispers in Harry’s ear, “You look so good, waiting for me like this.” He drags one end of the scarf down Harry’s chest, pausing briefly to suck a dusky nipple, and then resumes dragging it lightly over Harry’s hard cock. Louis thumbs Harry’s bottom lip and then kisses him, loving the way Harry responds, how pliant he is right now. Pulling Harry up to a sitting position, Louis rolls the scarf while Harry watches. Placing it carefully over Harry’s eyes, Louis wraps each end around Harry’s head and fastens it snuggly in the back. He can see Harry’s pulse flickering rapidly on his neck. Louis grabs a handful of Harry’s hair and tugs gently, tipping his chin up for better access to Harry’s lips so he can pull him into a bruising kiss. Their tongues swirl together and they both swallow each other’s moans.

“I’m gonna lay down. I want you to turn around and straddle me so you can play with my cock while I open you up, alright?”

“Mmmm, yes.”

Louis gets the lube, lies down, and directs the taller man into position. He helps Harry find his cock by placing his hand there. When Harry leans downs, immediately taking Louis’ cock deep into his mouth, Louis squeezes Harry’s wrist where it’s wrapped around the base of his cock. “Just play, don’t make me come or I won’t be able to fuck you.” Harry lets off, planting tiny kisses along Louis’ shaft instead.

With Harry’s arse in his face, Louis isn’t sure how he’s going to hold off so he decides to open Harry up quickly. With a light slap to one of Harry’s cheeks, he pops open the lube and spreads some across Harry’s hole, pushing one finger in carefully and watching how Harry flutters around him. As he continues to open him up, Louis realizes he doesn’t have to worry about coming too soon. That’s because Harry is obviously distracted from his task by the thorough finger fucking that Louis is giving him. Louis is enjoying his view all too much, so with this little tidbit of information, he takes full advantage and fucks into Harry deeply, grazing his prostate in teasing repetition. He’s careful not to overdo though, not wanting Harry to come just yet.

After a bit, Louis yanks Harry’s hips down so he can run his tongue along Harry’s rim. By the sounds in the room it’s clear they’re both getting overwhelmed by all the sensations. Harry mewls and stops touching Louis’ cock altogether. Louis licks into him a handful of times but then can’t take anymore, the taste of Harry too delicious on his tongue. He pushes Harry off him gently, the taller man rolling onto his back. “Babe, you taste too good. I could do that all day but I really need to be inside you.”

Harry doesn’t respond with words but he’s clearly turned on, the flush across his face and chest, erratic breathing and small whimpers all-telling.

“Wanna tie your hands up with my t-shirt. Is that okay?”

Harry nods quickly, and Louis can't help but get momentarily distracted by his lips which look absolutely fuckable. Inserting his thumb between those lips, he watches as Harry sucks them fervently.

Getting back to his original task, Louis takes both of Harry's wrists, bringing them together so they lie just above his head, long locks of curls framing his blind-folded face. With the t-shirt arranged in a puddled circle, he guides Harry’s hands through the middle, then pulls it tight towards himself, twists it and creates a second, tighter loop that he secures around Harry’s joined wrists. He checks to make sure it’s not too tight, that there’s enough give that Harry can move a bit without getting hurt.

“God, you’re so beautiful like this. Gonna fuck you now. Fill you up, make you feel so good.” He plants a kiss on Harry’s hip, then another on his treasure trail, hands reaching for the condom packet at the same time. He lubes his shaft up quickly, and lines himself up, pushing in right away. Harry moans loudly and opens his legs wider to accommodate the intrusion. It feels so good Louis has to bite his lip as he slowly pushes in the rest of the way.

Without Harry’s green eyes to look at, Louis becomes wholly fixated on Harry’s mouth. It’s so beautiful the way his jaw drops open as Louis fucks into him fast and deep. The sounds he makes get progressively louder and Louis wants to give him something to do with those sexy lips. He pushes a thumb into Harry’s mouth, pounding into him at the same time. Harry sucks him hard, tongue working over his thumb eagerly. He’s still making sexy sounds but they’re muted now. Louis continues fucking him but moves so he can angle his cock so it hits Harry’s prostate. Harry’s writhing below him, and Louis can feel the larger man's thigh shaking as he holds it up. They’re both right on the edge and it feels amazing.

“Shit, Harry!” Louis is jackhammering into him, barely able to maintain any further control. “Come for me, H. Show me how good you feel.”    

It’s almost instantaneous that Harry begins to come, completely untouched, painting his chest in white streams. Seeing that, Louis lets go as well, pumping his seed into the condom and squeezing Harry’s thighs as the immense pleasure overtakes him.

Though his limbs are heavy and all his body wants to do is collapse, he pulls out of Harry and discards the condom quickly so he can untie Harry’s hands and take his blindfold off. He has to make sure Harry is okay before he can give in to the exhaustion of his body.

As he releases Harry’s wrists, he turns them over, examining them for red marks and kissing them until he’s satisfied they’re okay. Then he pushes the blindfold off so he can see Harry’s eyes. The light in the room makes it hard for Harry to keep them open at first so Louis takes the opportunity to kiss all over Harry’s face. “Tell me that was okay, and that I didn’t hurt you.”

Harry wraps his arms around Louis, pulling him down on top of him. “Was so good, Lou. Thank you,” Harry says, kissing the top of Louis’ head and scraping fingertips over his scalp, holding him close.

“ _You’re_ so good,” Louis whispers. They hold each other tight until they both drift off to sleep, Louis’ hand over Harry’s heart.      


	14. Chapter 14

“Fuck,” Louis grits out, throwing his phone to the other side of the couch before taking out his frustration on his hair, roughly scratching his scalp. He had barely gotten back to his suite after a leisurely, and quite nice, morning with Harry when his phone rang. His mood had instantly gone from cheerful to anxious as he spoke with his realtor. There was now an end date to his time at the Riptide.

He’d need to be back in England and have the house completely emptied two weeks from today.

So he’d need to leave no later than a week from now.

He reaches for his phone again and sends off a quick text to Lauren, letting her know the closing date and that he’ll contact her when he knows exactly what date he’ll be flying in. By the time he ends the call his throat feels like it's closing, like he can’t breathe.

There was so much he needs to do. He’ll have to call Liam. Maybe they can fly back together. He’ll need to secure moving boxes, maybe a van for the larger items the girls might want to keep. His stomach churns at the idea of having to decide what things to keep, what to give to charity and what will just be best thrown away. How can he even begin to make those decisions?

He doesn’t want to think about it anymore, just wants to drown his thoughts out so he tears his clothes off and gets in the shower, letting the spray of the water wash some of his worries away. As he soaps himself off, letting the water spray gently in his face, he tries not to think about what it will be like to leave the Riptide. He has enough to worry about with just having to return to his mum’s home, a place that now serves as a blatant reminder of all that he’s lost. He’ll need to be strong for the girls, take care of the final details and ensure the proceeds of the sale are placed safely into the girls’ accounts for future use. Basically, he’ll need to tie up the loose ends of his mum’s life, say another sort of goodbye to her.

How do you say goodbye to the person who loved you the most, the person you loved the most? How can that even be a thing that needs to be done? His final conversation with his mum flashes through his mind, the sound of her voice ringing in his head just as clearly as it did on that last day. He actually did say goodbye to her, though never did he use that word. Both of them said ‘I love you’ over and over, and she told him all of the things she wanted for him while he listened and watched her beautiful face through a blur of tears. Still, even today, it doesn’t seem real. But the thought of her house, emptied of all her things? If anything can make it feel real, well, that's got to be it.

Louis wants to call his mum and tell her about Riptide, about the people who have become important to him in all too short a period of time. He doesn’t have to wonder what she’d say. She’d be happy to hear he is making new friends. She’d be thrilled if he told her about the butterflies that take flight inside his belly every time Harry walks in the room.

But what an absolute idiot he has been to let them in, especially now. How did he let this happen? Compared to losing his mum, saying goodbye to the Riptide shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Still in the shower, he scrubs hard at his flesh, trying to wash away anything that will remind him of this place. After all, once he is gone, it will be as though he was never here. Someone new will inhabit his suite, enjoy the amenities of the resort. And he’ll go back to his family, take care of them as best he can, and this little blip of time in the grand timeline of his life will fade in his memory until it seems more like a dream than something that actually happened.

He stands under the spray of the water until his skin feels numb and the water begins to cool. Just as he's toweling off, throwing on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, his phone rings again. His first inclination is to let it go to voicemail but the ringtone tells him it's Liam calling. “Hey, Li,” he answers.

“This a bad time? You sound tired, like I just woke you or something.”

“Nah. Just finalized the closing date on mum’s house. It’s in two weeks. Gotta start making plans to go back.” He walks over to the bedroom window which looks out over acres of lush greenery.

“I told you before. I’ll go with you, okay? Just tell me when you want to go and we’ll be on the same flight.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“So what’s up? You never called me after your big date with Zayn.” It feels better to focus on someone else’s life.

“Right. I, ah, it went well. It was really good, actually.” Louis can hear the smile in his voice.

“You stud! You going to give me details or do I have to find a way to force them out of you?”

“You don’t have to force me. But I was hoping we could talk in person. I’m kind of freaking out.”

“Mate, you’re fine. But, yeah, we can get together.” Louis looks across his room and sees one of the t-shirts he’d borrowed from Harry. He clears his throat. “Um, actually, why don’t I come to you?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’ve been away for a bit now. Wouldn’t mind coming back to our place for a night or two. I can leave in a few minutes.”

There’s a pause. Louis knows Liam all too well. Knows he’s questioning Louis’ motives, instantly worrying about him. Before he can say anything further, Louis adds, “It’ll be nice to grab some different clothes too. As you know, I didn’t exactly have time to pack before I came here.”

“Okay, Lou, whatever you say. See you when you get here then.”

The drive to Minneapolis feels much quicker than Louis’ original drive to the Riptide. Louis blares his ‘Fook Everything’ playlist which consists of all of the songs he likes to scream sing, doing just that during the entire drive. Focusing on the lyrics is a great distraction; it helps to lift his spirits if only slightly.

It’s just after four o’clock in the afternoon when Louis pulls into the underground garage of his and Liam’s building. He lets himself into the condo, finding Liam napping on their sofa, the telly playing a local news program.

He grins stupidly at Liam’s sleeping form, happy to see him and to be back in the comfort of his presence. He can’t just let sleeping puppies lie though, of course he can’t. Dipping his fingertips in the glass of water he finds perched dead-center on a marble coaster on the coffee table, he flicks his fingers repeatedly, sprinkling Liam’s face. Liam’s dark eyebrows furrow first, then his eyes start to blink. Louis has to hold in his laughter, not wanting to give himself away just yet, not with Liam looking so adorably irritated.

“What the--?” Liam sits up while he looks around the room. Louis had gone behind the couch to stay just out of sight. He watches as Liam wipes away the water from his face. Before he can even take another breath, Louis is dripping more water onto the top of Liam’s head. The sleepy puppy dog cranes his neck around, sees Louis and rolls his puppy dog eyes, clearly not impressed. Louis, of course, is delighted and lets out all of the giggles he’d been holding in.

“What’s up, sugar puff?” Louis asks as he takes a seat next to Liam on the couch, grabbing the pillow Liam had been holding while he slept.

“You’re such a twat.”

“Best sort of twat there is though.”

Liam yanks the pillow back from Louis and then throws it at his head.

“Bitch, don’t even!” Louis pummels Liam’s chest with his small fists, just funning around with no real effort behind it. The two smile at each other. “Hey, I’ve been sat in the car for three hours so what do you say to a walk down to Manny’s? I could use a good spicy torta.”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Liam jumps off the couch, grabbing his wallet and keys off the table. Louis is quick to follow and the two head off to one of their favorite local eateries.

Liam fills the time on their walk with stories about the summer interns at the firm as well as a couple of cases that are particularly ugly. It feels strange to hear all of it. Louis hasn’t even been away for two full weeks but it feels more like two months. He feels surprisingly detached from it. And obviously he has been but it’s more than that. It’s like it was part of a different lifetime, someone else’s life maybe. Before long he’s seated in a booth with a messy torta laid out in front of him and he doesn’t have time to think about it any longer. Besides, Liam is completely unaware of the orange sauce that is smeared across his chin and it’s just too good to ignore. Louis purposefully engages other restaurant patrons in conversation so they’ll notice Liam’s messy face as well. Later, as they’re walking back to the condo, Louis snaps a photo of Liam’s face with his phone and informs him that he’s had sauce on his face for the past twenty minutes. He receives an elbow to his ribs but, whatever, it’s totally worth it.

Back in the condo, they snuggle up on the couch with a couple bottles of beer and the telly playing old episodes of Friends. Louis’ phone rings just then and he can see Harry’s name lighting up on the screen.

“Um, let me just….two seconds,” Louis explains to Liam who just raises an eyebrow while trying to suppress a smile.

“Hey, H.” Louis smooths out the wrinkles in his shirt as he stands up from the couch. Harry asks what he's up to and he tells him he's back in Minneapolis, biting his lip. Harry expresses surprise at the news and Louis hurries to explain that he hasn't checked out of Riptide, that he'll be back in a couple days. He glances up at Liam and sees him watching with interest. Louis stands up and walks across the carpet to the large windows overlooking downtown, assuring Harry that he's fine, that he just has to do some things with Liam. He wraps his arm around his middle, hugging himself while he tells Harry he'll give him and Niall a ring when he gets back to Riptide. He doesn’t realize how hard he’s clenching his side until the pain starts to register as he's saying goodbye to Harry, ending the call. Louis stares at his phone for several long seconds before clearing his throat and returning back to his spot on the couch, all the while cognizant of Liam’s watchful eyes.

“So let’s talk about Zayn, shall we?”

Of course Liam knows what Louis is doing but, at the same time, he knows him well enough to know when to push him and when not to. So he lets Louis change the subject.

“Right. Well, Zayn is sort of hot.”

Louis laughs at Captain Obvious. Exactly what Liam was going for.

“Maybe sizzling hot is a more apt description.”

“Uh-huh.” Louis smiles tenderly. “Do go on, mate.”

Liam cuts the shit and gets more serious. “He didn’t touch me at all. Was a perfect gentleman, to be honest.”

“Not terribly surprising, I guess. So you told him you’ve never been with a boy, right? What did he say?”

“He seemed surprised at first. Was a little quiet, actually, which made me very nervous. Figured he was planning his escape route but then he started asking me questions.”

“Like what? What sort of questions?”

“Like about him. Why I’d suddenly choose to pursue something with him. And I was just completely honest, you know. I told him I was incredibly attracted to him, that I’ve never really felt that with anyone else. I mean, not this strong, anyway. And I told him I couldn’t promise anything because I really didn’t know for sure how I’d feel if we let things progress, you know, physically. Said I could only promise him that I’d always be honest about how I’m feeling.”

“You said he wanted a second date so he must have been cool with it, yeah?”

“Yeah, I mean, he said we should take it slow. And, who knows, maybe he’ll change his mind now he’s had a chance to think it over.”

“Doubt it, Li. I think he fancies you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Louis tweaks Liam’s nipple. “So why’d you freak out then, if it went so well?”

“Because I’m actually doing this now. This dating a boy thing. And, fuck, it’s _Zayn_. Jesus, I’ll never live up to anything he’s had before me. I mean, obviously I’m fucking clueless so I’m bound to be the lamest fuck of all time.”

“Oh God, this is good,” Louis gets out between laughs. He notices Liam isn’t laughing though, so he forces himself to get serious. “Ah, mate, you’ll be fine. I mean, look at me. It’s not like I’ve been around the block a billion times and yet Harry’s come back for several rounds now, so. Whatever you want to do with Zayn, just practice it on yourself. You’ve got the same parts so you should have a pretty good idea of what works and what doesn’t, yeah? I’m sure you can manage to wank to thoughts of Zayn. Hell, I thought about it.”

“What the --? For fuck’s sake, Louis!” Liam smacks Louis in the head with a pillow.

“Fuck, that hurt!” Louis rubs his head.

“Well, Christ what do you expect?”

“Settle down. It was before I met Harry. And I only _thought_ about doing it but never actually did.”

“Well, don’t bring it up again. God!”

“Christ, trust me, he’s all yours, and I couldn’t be happier for you.”

“Ugh, fine. So that’s your advice then, practice on myself?”

“Yes. I mean, if you have any specific questions, I guess I can probably answer them.” Louis’ face crinkles up in disgust. “Just use a lot of lube, okay, be patient and go slow for a bit. It’ll get better with time. There, all your questions answered?”

“Ah, yeah. Let’s talk about something else now.”

“Yes, let’s.” Louis takes a long swig of his beer, finishing off the bottle. “We should have waited until we were five bottles in for that conversation.”

Liam laughs. “No doubt. I’ll grab you another.”

Louis starts flipping the channels on the telly until Liam returns with a couple freshly opened bottles.

“So is there a reason you’re hiding from Harry?”

“What are you on about? I’m not hiding!”

“You are not staying here for a ‘few days’ like you told Harry. You’re going back there tomorrow. I know what you’re doing, Lou. You’re trying to push him away.”

“Look, this is just a fling for both of us. I’ll be in London all too soon and, even if I wasn’t leaving, he’ll be taking off for another job in a couple months anyway. Neither of us is sticking around. So I’m not hiding because there’s nothing to hide from.”

“That’s shit and you know it. You like him.”

“We’re having fun, yeah.”

“And the only thing you do together is fuck, right?”

“No, we do other things –“

“Exactly. You spend time together in and out of bed. You’ve spent hours and hours just talking. Lou, maybe you’re not aware of how your voice changes when you talk about him. How you sort of light up at just the mention of his name. You’re little phone conversation earlier? Every muscle in your body was reacting to it. To just hearing his voice. I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Right. You’ve never seen it because I’ve never been in a situation like this but, I assure you, it is what it is. And it’s just a fling, a very temporary one at that.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“Yes, it fucking does, alright?” They both pause for a moment, both surprised at the way Louis is suddenly yelling. Louis sighs, tries to calm himself down. “Look, I’ve got things to take care of and I can’t think past any of that right now. The girls are depending on me. I’ve got to clean out mum’s house and get things settled for everyone. Then maybe things will get back to normal. I’ll get back to work…”

“Okay, Lou. That’s fine. One thing at a time, I get it. Just, it’s been nice seeing you happy lately. That’s all I want for you. You deserve it so much. Come here.” Liam grabs him into a big bear hug and kisses him on the forehead. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

They stay like that for a minute and then Louis suggests they book their flight to London before they get too drunk. They decide to leave on a Sunday, just eight days away. Louis can feel a tightening in his chest at the clock that’s ticking down, he can sort of feel his blood pressure rising higher with every tick. So he closes up Liam’s laptop, he heads straight to the refrigerator for his next beer. They spend the rest of the night getting more and more inebriated, making each other laugh like they’ve always done. It’s a good night. As much fun as he’s had with Harry and Niall at the Riptide, Louis has missed Liam and it’s good to be back in his company.


	15. Chapter 15

It’s Monday morning and Liam has to head back to the office. Louis had convinced him they could hang out yesterday since it was still the weekend and they hadn’t spent much time together lately. If it gave him a good excuse to keep some distance from Harry, so be it. Louis wasn’t even going to try to deny it, not even to himself. But it was fun hanging out with Liam, especially when Zayn had called him and Louis got to make obscene gestures during their entire conversation, making Liam blush and get exceedingly flustered.

After promising Liam he’ll return to the Riptide today, they say their goodbyes and Louis is left alone in the condo. He didn’t promise he’d go back immediately so he lazes about for as long as he can, until just before he knows Liam is due home, then he begins packing up a fresh set of clothes for his return trip to the resort.

In seven days he’ll be moving back to London.

In seven days he’ll have to say goodbye to Harry and Niall and the Riptide Fairy Tale. And get back to his real life, the one where he has a career and a large family to manage.

The drive back to the Riptide is long. Unlike the first time he made this trip, Louis knows exactly what is waiting there for him. A lovely resort filled with cheerful, welcoming people willing to assist him in any way that will make his stay enjoyable. A lavish suite with a huge, comfy bed and a sick ensuite bathroom. A friendly and perfectly chiseled male to welcome him at the front desk. A high energy Irishman with blue eyes and fluffy bleached hair who has taught Louis how to let loose, let the adrenaline flow and make the most of each day with new adventures. And a tall, curly-haired butterfly angel with a deep, sexy voice who lets him explore sides of himself that he knew were there but never thought he’d get a chance to cultivate. A man with a beautiful soul who makes him feel things he never knew he could feel. And that’s the crux of it really. Harry makes him feel lovable. It’s not that Louis thinks Harry loves him. It’s just that Harry’s very nature is to care for and nurture those around him. He does it effortlessly and without thinking. And Louis has been absorbing it like a sponge.

The Riptide has given him so many things to be thankful for. But he has to give all those things up. Because this isn’t his reality. The Riptide is but a respite from real life. It’s sort of like living in a dream. One he’ll probably never forget but a dream just the same. Louis has to admit, if only to himself, that there’s a comfort in thinking of it this way. As a temporary oasis. It means he can let himself enjoy it fully while he’s here. And, when he leaves, he can look back on it pleasantly and there won’t be any need for regrets. Because it was never meant to be permanent. And he was always meant to leave it behind, just like Harry will be leaving it behind when he takes off to pursue his next big thing.

So, as he nears the Riptide, he drives past it in favor of heading directly to Harry’s house instead, resolved to make the most of his last week here. Niall answers the door, with a brunette on his arm. The server from Rowdy’s. _Interesting_.

“Lewis!” Niall practically leaps on him, folding him into a big hug. “Thank fuck you’re here. Harry has been out of his mind,” Niall whispers discreetly into Louis’ ear.

When he pulls away, Louis notices Niall is surprisingly sober, particularly odd for being at what appears to be a small house party, if the multiple voices Louis hears are any indication. Just then Harry appears in the entryway.

“Lou? You’re back?” He’s got a dopey but entirely adorable grin on his face and Louis is probably mirroring that himself, at least until a man appears directly behind Harry and proceeds to put his arms around Harry’s waist.   

And, just like that, Louis’ grin is gone. Straight out the door, along with his resolve to immerse himself in the delights of being with Harry for what little time he has left here. Because, who needs this sick feeling of jealousy that’s gripping his stomach right now? Louis doesn’t. He doesn’t have the slightest fucking clue what to do with it. He barely notices Harry pushing the guy’s hands away because he focuses all of his attention on Niall who is quite literally dragging him into the kitchen, talking about getting him a drink. A drink, especially one of Niall’s stiff concoctions, sounds absolutely perfect to Louis.

Niall sends Sandy into the other room where Harry and that arsehole apparently are, along with whomever else is here. “Don’t worry about that guy. He’s a total douche. Harry’s been putting up with him because, well, he’s Harry. But he’s not interested in him. Shit, he doesn’t even know him. Sandy’s brother Ian is visiting from California and he brought Arsehole out with him tonight because apparently they are childhood friends or something. Anyway, just ignore ‘im. I’ll make up an excuse and we’ll get out of yours and Harry’s way.”

“No, Niall, that’s not—“

“Yes, it is.” Niall is back to whispering, and he’s repeatedly darting his eyes to the door, presumably making sure no one is within earshot. “Harry hasn’t been himself since you left. He actually called in sick for work today. He _never_ does that. And there’s nothing physically wrong with him, Louis.”

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t know exactly. Look, what are you doing tomorrow?” Niall asks, as he rifles through the refrigerator, pulling out a large pitcher and a plastic container of pre-sliced fruit.

“A whole lot of nothing, why?”

“It’s been days and days since we’ve raised hell together and I don’t mind saying I’ve missed you. I’ll get us some rounds of tennis in the afternoon and maybe we can follow that up with some dirt biking or something.”

“Sounds great, mate. Text me tomorrow and let me know where I should meet you.”

“Perfect.” Niall hands him a plastic cup filled with red liquid, a slice of pineapple hanging off the rim. “Drink this. It’s the Horan Wop and you’re welcome.” With that, Niall heads into the living room and Louis hears him yell over the music and voices, “Listen up, kids. The party is changing locations. We’re heading to The Loud House. Harry is staying here because he has some business to take care of with Louis, and they don’t need us getting in their way.”

Louis steps into the living room just in time to see Harry tilting his head away from Arsehole’s lips which must have been whispering something in his ear. Harry’s gorgeous eyebrows are furrowed and he’s shaking his head at the guy while stepping away. “I have to go,” Louis hears him say.

“Yep, sorry dude but Harry has other plans tonight,” Niall says and then promptly pulls Harry towards him, whispering something in his ear. Louis watches as Harry smiles at Niall and then looks around the room, his eyes stopping when they connect with Louis.

It’s hard to miss the glazed look in Harry’s eyes. He’s clearly more than just a bit tipsy. Louis hasn’t known Harry for all that long, yeah, but he’s never seen Harry have more than two drinks in the same night, if he has any at all. But tonight it seems Harry has had plenty of Niall’s special wop. He’s wobbly on his feet, and his grin is a bit sloppy and loose, not as smooth and confident as it usually is.

Maybe it’s not just alcohol though. He seems a little…nervous maybe? Another thing he’s never witnessed in Harry before. Those big hands are definitely fidgeting with the buttons on his shirt, smoothing it out repeatedly. The movement draws Louis’ eyes down to take in the way his white jeans hug his hips and thighs. They look so hot that Louis has to force his eyes back up to Harry’s face. When he does, Harry pushes away from Niall and walks slowly toward Louis, biting his lower lip while grinning stupidly at the same time.

“Lou-eeeee,” Harry says, still grinning big, eyes glossy and unfocused, a sure sign of his inebriation.

And what is Louis supposed to do with that? His jealousy dissipates instantly. All his consternation about Harry is gone, if only for the time being. Because this beautiful angel is standing before him, looking at him as if the entire world revolves around him. So, there’s only one thing to do.

Louis reaches out to tap the tip of Harry’s perfect nose. “Hi, Hazza.”

Niall has everyone ushered out of the house in a few short minutes. Both Harry and Louis are taken aback when Niall’s voice is suddenly right next to them. “Good night, lovers.” And the next thing they hear is the front door slamming shut and nothing but silence in the room.

It’s almost overwhelming, having Harry right in front of him, watching as Harry’s lips fall open and his eyes begin to darken, a clear indication of the path Harry’s thoughts have taken. Louis is struck by just how much he’s missed being with this gorgeous man. Missed the electricity in the air between them. “Kiss me,” Louis demands.

Harry complies immediately. His lips mold to Louis’, all hot and sweet from Niall’s fruity drink. And Louis has no intention of holding himself back, not when he’s already hard from the way Harry fills out those damn white jeans. He grabs Harry’s arse, squeezing both cheeks while his tongue dances deep in Harry’s mouth. Harry is moaning and the effect it’s having on Louis is unreal. _Fuck, I’ve missed you so much_. Louis has no time for words and his brain probably only has another minute before he loses all ability to speak anyway, so he forgoes that altogether and just pushes Harry impatiently along until they bump into the back of the couch.

Louis pulls Harry’s loose and barely buttoned shirt up over his head. He bends down to take Harry’s nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and biting a little before he lets off. “I want to be inside you.”

Harry just whimpers loudly in response, his eyes so dark now they’re almost black.

Louis turns him around, pressing his hard length against Harry’s bum, still encased in those hot, white jeans. “These fucking jeans, Harry, Christ.” Louis runs his hands over Harry’s abs, loving the contrast of the hard muscle covered in soft, warm skin. Pinching a nipple, Louis nips at Harry’s ear, whispering to him. “You’re so damn sexy.”

“Lou, I…. _Oh God_...” Harry grabs hold of Louis’ wrists, taking his hands off him and stepping away. He then breaks into a run toward the bathroom, covering his mouth.

Louis puts a hand to the couch to steady himself, his chest heaving from being so worked up. He hears Harry retching into the toilet. “Shit.” Pressing a palm to his hard dick, he tries to stifle his arousal, knowing there is no release forthcoming.

Intent on making sure Harry is okay, he heads to the bathroom where he finds Harry hugging the toilet, head of curls resting on his forearm. Louis gathers up Harry’s long locks, some wet with sweat, holding them back from his face. Harry groans, not moving. “Sorry, Lou.” After a couple more rounds of puking, they are both sure Harry’s stomach is quite empty. Louis helps him up and while Harry walks himself to bed, Louis gets him a glass of water and an aspirin. Tucking him in, Louis kisses his temple tenderly.

“Stay with me?” Harry mumbles.

“Of course.”

There is a slight smile to Harry’s lips. His eyes are closed and his breathing steady. Louis watches him for a moment, amazed at how delicate and beautiful his features are. Slowly and quietly, Louis takes off his clothes, all except his boxer briefs, and crawls into bed behind Harry. As he wraps an arm about Harry’s waist, he feels him shift slightly underneath.

“It’s better when you’re here.”

Louis stills at the sound of his voice. He isn’t sure he heard Harry right, his voice so soft with sleep. Holding him a little tighter, Louis snuggles into his warmth. He’s wide awake but he’s exactly where he wants to be. Being back with Harry feels good. Too good. But he’ll take what he can get for the little while he has left. Sometime later, he falls asleep, his heart rate and breathing fully synchronized with the beautiful angel in his arms.

 

Morning breaks and Harry stirs in Louis’ arms, waking them both. Within seconds, Harry’s phone alarm goes off, apparently too loud for Harry as he throws his pillow over his head and groans from somewhere underneath. To put an end to the annoying sound, Louis is forced to locate the phone and shut it off himself.

“Morning shift?”

Another groan.

“Guess that’s a ‘yes’ then.” Louis reaches under the covers to pinch Harry’s bum. The groans turn into more of a _mmmm_.

Lifting the pillow off his head, Louis tells him, “You get in the shower. I’ll make you tea and toast.” Because Harry’s pouty face looks absolutely adorable, Louis kisses both eyebrows, his nose, both cheeks and back up to his forehead before concluding with, “Rise and shine, angel.”

Fifteen minutes later, they’re seated in the breakfast nook off the kitchen. Harry is moving slowly, his skin still a little more dull and pale than usual. Louis is watching Harry closely, smiling at how adorably helpless he is in his hungover state. Harry doesn’t have any luck when he tries to suppress his own smile.

“’M sorry for --.”

“Do. Not. Apologize.”

“But I --.”

“Harry, stop. You had a few too many and got a little sick. Big deal. Happens to everyone.”

Harry opens his mouth to speak again and Louis cuts him off. “You can make it up to me tonight.”

That brings a wide, gorgeous smile back to Harry’s lips and a tinge of color back into his cheeks. “Would love to. Can I pick you up at your suite after my shift? I’ll be done around six.”

“Sounds great. I’ll be with Nialler today. I know he missed me while I was gone but I’m sure he’ll be quite ready to part ways by dinner time. Sure he’s got plans for the night anyway,” Louis says with a wink.

Harry is oddly quiet for a moment, just nodding slowly, green eyes dancing all over Louis’ face. “Lou, I…” Harry swallows hard. Then he stands up abruptly, gathering his cup and saucer. “I should get going but, um,” he looks at Louis who is now standing across from him as well, “I’m really looking forward to seeing you tonight.”

There is a look in Harry’s eyes that Louis hasn’t seen before. There’s obvious affection there but, at the same time, Harry actually looks a little scared. Louis isn’t sure what to do with that because the Harry he knows is care-free and happy. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” His hands still full of dishes, he bends forward and places a lingering kiss on Louis’ cheek.

Louis’ stomach does a flip.  

Niall asks Louis to meet him in the A Court which is the tennis court that has the nicest view of Lake Olivia. When he gets there, Niall hands him an ice cold Coke.

“How’s our Harry doing this morning?” Niall asks, smirking.

“Tired. Probably still a little sick.”

Niall’s eyes widen and he scrunches his face up in disgust. “Ew, did he get sick?”

“Uh-huh.” Louis tightens his lips in mock disgust, pausing for dramatic effect. Then he focuses on the task of cracking his Coke can open.

“Hm. Well, I was going to say ‘you’re welcome’ for giving the two of you some alone time, but.”

“But,” Louis mocks him with a bad Irish lilt. “It was fine. Besides, somebody needed to take care of him.”

Niall smiles brightly at that. “Well, glad it was you then, especially since you were the reason he was such a hot mess this weekend. What the fuck happened anyway?”

“Niall, you were talking this shite last night and I have no idea what you’re on about.”

“Bullshit. He’s never been like that before. He’s always been happy-lovely-Harry, flitting around without a care in the world, then you left and he basically fell apart.

“My leaving and his ‘falling apart,’ as you claim, are not connected.”

“Why’d you leave then? Most people don’t go home in the middle of their holiday.”

“Yeah, well, you’re forgetting that I didn’t ask for this holiday in the first place. And I went back to Minneapolis because Liam needed me. I told him I’d come to him so he didn’t have to drive all the way out here. _He’s_ not on holiday right now so I just wanted to be helpful. Had nothing to do with Harry.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, really.” Not really, but Louis wasn’t above trying to believe his own lies.

Niall is quiet for a second, his eyes seemingly looking through Louis. “Well, if you say so. I’ve just never seen him like that. For as long as I’ve known him he’s been an easy-going, eternal optimist. Even if something doesn’t go his way, he never lets it get him down. He just picks himself up and looks on the bright side. And yet all weekend he was aimless and moody and just generally miserable as fuck. I talked to him a couple of times on Saturday and he was all weird and quiet. Wouldn’t admit anything was wrong. Actually, he snapped at me because I kept asking if he was okay. Then the next thing I know, he calls in sick Sunday morning.”

“I don’t know. I mean, I guess he did seem a little different this morning. Not in a bad way, and I can’t really explain what it was. Just less cheerful, I guess. Anyway, I’ll see him tonight. He’s going to come by my suite after his shift.”

Niall smirks at that. “Can’t get enough of each other, can you?”

Louis shrugs, looking down at his grey Adidas shoes. “I’m only here for a little while, yeah?” He looks up to see Niall watching him intently. “It’s been nice hanging out with you. Both of you. Can’t say I’m looking forward to leaving but you can only avoid real life for so long.”

“This is real life, Lou. We’re not going to pixelate and disappear after you leave here, ya know.”

Louis doesn’t like to be maudlin but he _knows_ his time at the Riptide is a far cry from his real life. The two are so vastly different he finds it impossible to link them, in any way, in his head. When he leaves, he’ll be swallowed up by the constant sense of duty he has to his family and, a big part of that is his job -- the means by which he can ensure his siblings have everything they need or want. He won’t have time for adrenaline-induced adventures with a hilarious Irish boy or mind-blowing intimacy with a curly-haired angel. No, those are things that only exist for him inside the realm of the Riptide. “Yeah,” he says, knowing Niall deserves a response. He even forces a small smile before turning away. “I know.”

They guzzle their Cokes and start a few rounds of tennis. Louis finds his mood lifting with each swing of the racquet. It’s impossible not to be affected by Niall’s light-hearted, fun nature. It only takes a short while before they’re both laughing so hard over their lack of skill and the balls that are flying all over, and sometimes outside of, the court. Louis thinks his ab muscles will be rock hard by the end of his Riptide stay, just from having so many belly laughs with the silly Irish lad.


	16. Chapter 16

When Louis meets Harry at the door to his suite later that night, he isn’t sure if it’s Harry at all or if the entire hallway has been filled with dark pink roses. Harry bought him eighteen roses which is….sweet, of course. But it’s the sight of Harry holding the large bouquet of roses that nearly knocks Louis off his feet. Louis has never been particularly interested in flowers. Harry though? Harry is as beautiful and delicate as a flower. And the two combined? _Fuck. Me._

Harry is holding them out for Louis but Louis just stares, mouth slightly agape.

“I know. It might seem a bit much but dark pink roses signify gratitude and appreciation. You didn’t have to stay last night and take care of me like you did. I mean, you’re on holiday for fuck’s sake. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for being so good to me.”

Harry taps the bouquet against Louis’ chest lightly, prodding him to take them. It’s enough to break Louis out of his Harry-naked-wearing-a-flower-crown day dream. “Oh, um, you’re welcome? And thank you?” Everything is a question suddenly. Is Louis awake or dreaming? Is there a Guinness World Record for the speed at which a man’s cock goes from utterly flaccid to maximally hard? Is Harry Styles even human, or is he an earth-bound angel?

They find a vase for the flowers and Louis places it delicately in the center of the bar that splits the kitchen from the main living area of the suite. With that settled, they head out to the parking lot, getting into Harry’s Audi. They’re heading north but Louis has no idea where they’re going. All Harry told him was they’d be having Mexican but that’s it.

They chat throughout the drive, Harry explaining that a shipment of lotions and oils hadn’t arrived and that he’d had to use the barest amount possible on his clients in order to ensure they could last until mid-day tomorrow when they had been promised the order would arrive. It didn’t help, Harry tells him, that two of the largest people Harry has ever massaged had, of course, been scheduled for today. Louis laughs so hard he has to wipe tears from his eyes and proceeds to ask Harry about some of his most outrageous clients. Harry has many fun stories to share. He's had clients who fell asleep and snored like freight trains, a woman who moaned loudly through the entire massage, making it sound like Harry was shagging her. Harry tells him about mysterious, and sometimes not so mysterious, stains he’s found on the sheets while cleaning after a client. There are multiple stories about clients exposing themselves to him, blatantly looking for a reaction from him.

As they pull into the parking lot of the restaurant, Louis asks, “Has anyone ever asked you for a happy ending?”

Harry put the car in park, smiling and shaking his head.

“That’s hard to believe. Come on, be honest.”

“Well, nobody’s ever asked outright. I mean, yeah, I’ve been hit on by clients before. Massage can make people feel sensual. It’s relaxing and they’re in a state of undress. And, at a place like the Riptide, people are on holiday so they’re letting loose, yeah? So it’s happened before where they get a little flirty afterwards but I’ve always declined. Most people take it well, laugh it off or whatever. I usually still get a good tip, so.” Harry winks.

“What do you mean, ‘most people’ take it well? Did someone not?”

Harry darts his eyes away from Louis briefly, then shrugs, “Just some ruffled feathers, not a big deal.”

Louis is inclined to inquire further but the words die at his lips when Harry suddenly reaches over the storage compartment that sits between their seats to unbuckle Louis’ seatbelt. With his other hand, he unbuckles his own at almost the same time and then leans closer to Louis. Watching as Harry’s green eyes brighten considerably, zeroing in on his lips, he takes a sharp inhale at Harry’s sudden change in demeanor. He feels long fingers brush over his left hip, having remained there after unfastening his seatbelt. “What?” Louis asks, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

“Did you think about asking me for a happy ending?” Harry tugs playfully on the belt loop of Louis’ jeans.

Louis rolls his eyes, smiling. “Obviously.”

Harry purrs, closing the distance between them, their lips brushing together with a damp heat that spreads quickly to Louis’ cock. Harry’s tongue isn’t shy as it licks deep into Louis’ mouth, the smaller man responding in kind while bringing a hand up to rake through Harry’s loose locks. They snog until they’re exchanging breaths and whimpers into each other’s mouths, and Louis finally pushes Harry away from him after one of their stomachs (he doesn't know whose) lets out a loud growl.

“I think we’re both a bit hungry,” he says, panting into the back of his hand as he wipes his lips dry, “We should eat, yeah?”

Harry smiles then, laughing lightly as he responds, “If only so I can get you back to mine sooner.”

“That’s kind of forward, don’t you think? Here I thought we were having a nice night out but I guess I’m just a piece of meat to you.”

“A delectable piece of meat.” Green eyes are sparkling mischievously now.

Louis throws a crumpled napkin at Harry’s head, one he found on the floor of the car.

Harry laughs and gestures to the restaurant, “Hey, look where I’m taking you. This is a romantic place.”

Louis takes another look at the run-down building and laughs. “Wow, you’re really trying to impress me. Going all out tonight, yeah?”

“Go big or go home, that’s what I always say.”

“Keep on talking, big guy. Maybe you’ll get lucky later, maybe not.”

“Ah, playing hard to get, I see. Good thing I love a challenge.”

“Depends on how chivalrous you are. I’ve got high expectations, you see.”

“I certainly don’t want to disappoint.” Harry opens his door, still looking at Louis. “Stay put,” he holds his palm out in a halting motion.

Louis watches as Harry walks around the vehicle, long legs taking sure strides. His door is opened and Harry offers his hand, palm up, for Louis to take. Louis feasts his eyes on the tall, handsome man before him as he is helped out of the vehicle, the two of them coming to stand with only the barest of space between them. Louis smiles wide, eyes crinkled. Harry smiles back and then ushers Louis ahead of him, closing the car door and leading him into the restaurant, hand on the small of his back.

The interior of the restaurant doesn’t match the exterior. Inside, it’s cozy and quaint. It looks like it was recently remodeled, the walls a light grey with teal accents. The woodwork is dark but the tables are heavily lacquered and their shine is brought out by the soft lighting throughout the main dining area. On each table, there is an antique candle holder with a flameless LED candle.

From their free-flowing, light-hearted banter to the laughter and smiles, and scrumptious food, the entire experience is quite lovely. In fact, at one point near the end of the evening, as they are both stuffing themselves with fried ice cream, Louis catches himself feeling _happy_ , of all things. A stark contrast from the anxiety and depression he’s become accustomed to over the past several months. Hell, maybe even years? As soon as he becomes conscious of his current state, Louis forces himself to infuse a little reality into the evening by reminding himself of the temporary nature of all of this. His smile only falters briefly as he pushes through, holding himself to his earlier resolve to make the most of this holiday, savoring each moment with Harry that he can. At least he’ll have these memories to look back on. That’s something.    

 Returning back to Harry’s house, Louis doesn’t hesitate to take advantage of being alone with Harry. During the entire dinner, and even the drive home, Louis has been almost cataloguing each of the alluring details of Harry’s body. The milky soft complexion of his skin, the straight and very striking lines of his eyebrows which only serve to amplify the green of his eyes behind full dark lashes, the long curls that bounce when he laughs and his tall, fit-as-fuck body as he leans in toward Louis as they talk. All of those little things are permanently engraved in Louis’ mind and he is itching to touch every last one of them.

As they step inside the house, Louis wordlessly takes the keys from Harrys’ hand and sets them down in the decorative bowl where he’s seen Harry deposit them several times before. Harry looks at him, his eyes intense and eager, most definitely a mirror of Louis’ own. Louis pulls Harry against him with a handful of Harry’s soft-cotton shirt and Harry stumbles into him acquiescently. Harry gasps as Louis tugs on his hair, pulling his head back to provide better access to his throat. He runs his lips along the side of that milky white column, letting his hot breath tickle the sensitive skin there, delighting in the quiet little whimpers Harry lets out in response. Dragging his lower lip, Louis follows along the curve of Harry’s neck until he reaches the juncture of neck and shoulder, seeking out the muscle there with his tongue. He sucks a bit before biting down just hard enough that Harry gets a little louder, his breathing heavier. Still holding onto a clump of curls, Louis gives them another tug for good measure.

“Shh, babe.” Keeping a firm hold on Harry’s wrists, Louis continues his siege on Harry’s neck, moving down to his collarbones for a lick or two before trailing his lips back up to Harry’s ear where he whispers, “You’ve been killing me all night with your soft, flawless skin and your perfect pink lips, making me want to wreck you, take you apart until you’re a wet, shaky mess.” Louis doesn’t give him time to respond, just molds his lips around Harry’s and licks into his mouth with all of the need that’s been building inside him. It’s not enough, just makes him want more so he tugs on Harry’s wrist and pulls him along, leading him into Harry’s bedroom. Then, letting go of Harry, he stands a foot or so away from him, admiring the heat he sees in Harry’s eyes. When Harry takes a step toward him, Louis halts him with a firm palm to his chest.

“Take your clothes off,” Louis adds, barely finding the clarity of mind to ensure that Harry is okay with this, with all the things Louis wants to do to him.    

Without breaking eye contact, Harry begins removing his shirt, pulling it over his head quickly.

“Slower,” Louis demands.

Harry halts for a split second and Louis watches as Harry’s Adam’s apple bobs up and down his throat. Slower this time, Harry’s hands reach the fly of his jeans and he pops the button free. Biting his lip, he slowly drags the zipper down.

“Touch yourself.”

Harry reaches into his jeans with his right hand and Louis watches as that hand curves around what he knows is a huge and beautiful cock. Harry hums something unintelligible, his mouth opening slightly, green eyes still on Louis’.

“You hard for me?” Louis can’t see because Harry’s hand and arm are blocking his view.

“Yes.” It comes out all breathy and needy.

Louis lets Harry give himself three good strokes before stopping him. “Enough. Off with those jeans.” When Harry is standing before him fully naked, fists clenched at his sides, Louis directs him further, “Turn around.”

Harry complies, moving slowly.

“Feet further apart.”

Removing his own shirt, Louis steps up behind him, close enough that he can feel the heat coming off Harry’s body but still far enough that their bodies aren’t touching. Louis grabs each of Harry’s wrists again and brings them together behind Harry’s back. “Stay like this,” he tells him, his own voice starting to sound affected. Still keeping an inch between their bodies, Louis slowly wraps his hands around Harry’s sides, grazing lightly across smooth, warm skin until he feels Harry’s nipples under his fingers. Pinching and pulling them, he plays with them until he elicits soft mewling sounds from Harry. He brings one hand up to grab a fistful of curls and pull Harry’s head back. Leaning in, he kisses along Harry’s jaw bone while he lowers his other hand down from tight nipple to rippled abs before wrapping it around Harry’s stiff cock, giving it two quick pulls. “You have no idea how much I want to just bend you over and bury myself inside you.”

Harry’s moan sounds more like a plea than anything else. He turns his face, leaning into Louis’ lips, seeking more contact. Louis takes a step back and Harry’s entire body follows him until he almost loses his balance and has to take a step to regain it.

“Louis.” Harry reaches for him.

“No. Want to do this my way. Let me take care of you tonight.” The stern tone of his voice surprises him as much as it probably does Harry, whose brows cock up briefly.

Not wanting to question it, Louis makes short work of ridding himself of his jeans and pants instead. He sits down on the bed and gestures for Harry to come closer. Harry does just that, stands between Louis’ legs, looking down at him, arms at his sides, fingers curled in slightly, nails pressing into the sides of his own thighs as though it’s the only way to keep his hands off Louis.

Reaching for him, placing a hand on each hip, Louis partially covers the fern tattoos with his thumbs. Then leaning down, he licks a broad strip up Harry’s treasure trail, making Harry’s cock twitch. When he looks up at Harry, his heart skips a few beats. Harry’s eyes are closed and he’s biting his bottom lip hard. Louis waits until Harry opens his eyes, watches as Harry looks from his face down to his dick which is hard as rock and leaking at the tip.

It’s difficult not to get lost in the fucked-out expression on Harry’s face, in the contrast between the beautiful green of his eyes and the dark pupils that are expanding by the second. As much as he wants inside Harry, there’s an overwhelming need in Louis to draw this out. To make Harry feel as special as Louis knows he is, as special as Harry makes him feel each time they’re together. And, of course, Louis knows it’s not about him – that it’s just the way Harry is. He treats everyone like they’re important. It’s just who he is, one of the many reasons Louis is attracted to him. But Harry’s given him things, shown him things, that he’s never had before and Louis is _thankful_. There isn’t much Louis can give Harry but he wants to make him feel special too.

Louis stands up, gripping the sides of his face and covering his lips with his own. Harry tastes like the wine they had at the restaurant, just a slight sweetness to it that maybe isn’t even from the wine so much as just Harry himself. When they break apart, it’s only so Louis can get Harry onto the bed. He wants to see him stretched out, long lovely limbs just waiting to be ravished.

As Harry lies dead-center of the bed, Louis inhales sharply. Tall, dark and handsome doesn’t even come close. The sharp lines of the man’s dark brows, the sculpted angles of his cheekbones and jawline, the way his long hair is fanned out across the bed in wild, chocolatey spirals. He’s a contradiction of rough and gentle, hard and soft, wound-up and relaxed. But, most of all, Harry looks absolutely edible and Louis is dying to taste every inch of him.

“Arms up above your head, please.”

Slowly, Louis begins kissing Harry from his neck to his collarbones, nipping and biting when the light graze of his lips across velvety skin just isn’t enough. There’s a particularly sensitive area right on the side of his upper chest where it dips into his armpit. Louis sucks there until he’s satisfied with the mark he’s made. He may not be able to stake a real claim on Harry but tonight he’ll mark him up as though he can. Trailing his lips over Harry’s heart, he pauses just long enough to feel its sweet beat before moving to his nipple. He licks at the little whorls of hair that surround it, enjoying the feel of them on his tongue. Harry thrusts his hips up, making contact with Louis’s cock which makes them both moan. This makes Louis move his hands downward, pushing a strong hip down into the mattress, holding it steady so he can continue his assault across Harry’s abs, licking and sucking his way across each rippled muscle. Fingers trailing the path of his tongue, rubbing in the saliva left there, Louis getting more and more turned on by the minute, especially with Harry’s whines and moans playing like a soundtrack in the background.

They both need more, and Louis has made them wait long enough. Propping Harry’s hips up under a pillow, Louis kisses a strong knee before moving to the inside of a long, muscled thigh. The feel of the light hairs under his tongue only increases Louis’ need for him. With a hand under each knee, Louis pushes them up and out, spreading Harry open for him. The sight of that pretty, fluttering hole has Louis’ cock filling up again. A guttural sound is the best Louis can do.

There’s no time for words anyway. He’s got to get his mouth on Harry now or he thinks he’ll lose his ever-loving mind. They just ate a big dinner but Louis has a much better meal in front of him. It’s all about instant gratification as Louis swirls his tongue around Harry’s hole, licking firmly, then softly, then firmly again. Planting his lips there, he begins alternating suction with wet licks. Louis can feel Harry’s calves and thighs trembling under his hands as the taller man grips the headboard, vying for purchase. As he continues his delicious assault on Harry, Louis buries his nose and pushes in with his tongue a few times before coming up for air briefly. He can’t stay away for more than a few seconds, pushing back in with lips and tongue, lapping up every inch of that hole he can. Soon Harry is writhing underneath him, no doubt close to coming. Louis slows down his pace a bit, drawing away to kiss up Harry’s inner thighs again. He wants to draw this out even longer, doesn’t want him to come just yet.

Louis sits up, gazing at Harry’s face as he straddles his waist, bracing himself up on his knees to ensure there is no contact with Harry’s cock. From the way Harry is clenching his fists and biting down on his lower lip, he knows Harry is struggling to hold off his orgasm as it is. Leaning down, Louis kisses those now swollen lips softly, trying to put some more focus back into Harry’s dazed out eyes, even if he knows it won’t last long.

Quickly grabbing lube and a condom from the bedside table, Louis slicks up two fingers and pushes them both in on the first go, his tongue having done some pre-work already. Harry’s nostrils flare, jaws clench, but he takes it. _God_ , Louis thinks, _he takes it so well._ In no time he is ready for a third finger and Louis licks a broad strip up Harry’s shaft as he pushes all three inside. Harry wraps one leg around Louis’ hips, making some of the hottest sounds Louis has ever heard. By the time Louis finds his prostate Harry is all out begging.

“I can’t, Louis. _Please_. Need you to fuck me.”

And it’s music to Louis’ ears. It’s exactly what he’s been waiting for. Harry is stretched out before him, begging for his cock, already looking well and truly wrecked. Louis reaches for Harry’s wrists, bringing them down so they are hovering just above his hard cock. Holding them with one hand while lining himself up to Harry’s hole with the other, Louis pushes in just past the head of his cock. Their eyes lock and Louis takes both of Harry’s hands in his own, tangling their fingers together and pushing the backs of Harry’s hands down into the duvet. He holds them there, pushing in deep.

“Hard and fast, or slow and sweet?”

Harry’s eyes roll back in his head briefly. “Hard. Fuck me hard. Make me take it.”

Permission granted and Louis pulls out before slamming his hips home. Over and over, and all the while Harry is holding himself together by the barest of threads. Louis can’t believe he hasn’t come yet but then he realizes Harry is waiting for him to say when. _Fuck, that’s hot._ One more deep, fast stroke and Louis practically yells, “Come on, baby. Let go for me. _Now_.”

Streams of white come spurt across Harry’s gorgeous abs. The two are still holding hands, clenching tightly, palms sweaty and eyes locked through it all, even as Louis comes only seconds behind Harry. As they both grapple to regain their breath, Louis is dumbstruck. He’s had very little sexual experiences, yeah, but he _knows_ there is nothing typical about this. The way Harry is looking at him, probably the exact same way he is looking at Harry. The intimacy - fuck, the _trust_ they've both given. It feels so. damn. good. It feels like they’ve been here, in this moment, a hundred times before, because it’s so natural. Like he’s used to it already. _Well, I could get used to it, that’s for_ \--And just like that, as though someone snapped their fingers right in front of his face, he feels himself shut down emotionally.

Unclasping his hands from Harry’s and looking away, he busies himself with removing the condom from his over-sensitive cock, then moving briskly toward the ensuite to clean up. Out of Harry’s sight, he leans into the sink, looking at himself in the mirror and he can see his eyes are a cool, detached blue-grey. The familiar numbing moving through him, a defense mechanism he’s mastered throughout the years whenever things became too much. It’s for the best. He can’t let himself get attached. Not now, not when he’ll be leaving soon. Not when he’s needed elsewhere. And, besides, it’s not even fair to Harry. Not that Harry would ever get attached to him. He’s got his own plans, his own life he has to live. It’s just the way it is and they’ll both be _fine_. They’ll go their separate ways as they were always meant to do. Life goes on. Louis rubs his palm into this face, an attempt to clear his mind. Then, realizing he’s probably been gone too long, he cleans himself up quickly and heads back out to Harry, offering him a clean, damp cloth.

Harry cleans himself off, then sits up behind Louis who is on the edge of the bed. He discards the cloth on the floor and wraps his arms around Louis, resting his chin gently on Louis’ shoulder. “That was amazing. You’re amazing, Lou.”

Louis covers Harry’s arms with his own and squeezes back. “You too,” is all he can bring himself to say. It’s late and Harry has to work the early shift the next day so they both slip into boxers and huddle up under the covers, waiting for sleep to take them over. Sometime during the night, Louis feels Harry’s arm slide around him, pulling him closer, and he’s too groggy to fight it and doesn’t even try. That it feels right is all he can think before he drifts right back into dreams.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter includes attempted rape. It's discussed after the fact and isn't terribly graphic. However, if this is a trigger for you, you may want to skip it.

They wake up to the alarm in the morning, all tangled together, soft and warm. Breaking apart so Harry can turn off the obnoxious sound, Harry turns back to kiss him on the forehead and then gets out of bed. Louis immediately feels cold and hollow at the loss as Harry heads off to the bathroom. While he listens to the sound of the shower starting, Louis cuddles up with the still warm pillow that smells of the gorgeous, curly-haired angel and tries to fall back to sleep. His thoughts keep him awake though, listening to Harry move about his house, preparing for the day. The birds are starting to chirp as the sun is now up and Louis allows himself to think, just for a dangerous minute, what it would be like to wake up in this house every morning, with Harry cuddled up next to him and nothing more to worry about than a grocery list and some chores to do around _their_ house. It’s only a minute and then his thoughts dissolve as he hears Harry leave through the front door, the sound of his car engine coming to life and then getting quieter and quieter as he drives away. A firm reminder for him that Harry is not a permanent fixture in his life.

Niall picks Louis up at ten o’clock, a plan that Harry had worked out for him in the middle of dinner the night before so that Louis could stay the night at Harry’s and not have to wake up at arse o’clock. God love Niall because he brought a bag of baked goods and a couple of tall caramel macchiatos he’d snatched up from the local bakery. The day’s agenda includes meeting up with a couple of Niall’s friends, Jack and Casey, for some tubing down the Windy River followed by beers and brats at a campground where Niall’s friends are staying.

Upon meeting them, Louis finds out quite quickly that Jack and Casey are a couple. They have a hard time keeping their hands off each other. Well, Jack has a hard time keeping his hands off Casey, the smaller of the two men, and although Casey slaps him away repeatedly it’s clear from the almost constant smile on his face that he really doesn’t mind.

“Newlyweds. Disgusting, innit?” Niall says under his breath while watching the handsome couple.

“Married? Really?”

“Yep. Only like two or three months ago. They teach at the high school. Only just met last Fall when Casey started there. Casey teaches Sign Language and Jack is everyone’s favorite music teacher. It was love at first sight, let me tell ya. Totally gross, and they’ve been like this ever since.”

Louis continues watching them for a moment while his fingers work on tying his and Niall’s inner tubes together with a rope. They had agreed Louis would carry both tubes while Niall carried one of the coolers. It's hard to keep from staring at the two men. The fond looks they gave each other, along with the small touches here and there, are so endearing. It strikes Louis just how open they are with their emotions, everything just laid out there for the other to see as if they had nothing to fear. It makes Louis recall last night and the way he pushed down his own feelings so Harry wouldn’t see how affected he was by him. Shaking those thoughts off, Louis gathers the two tubes, sticking his right arm through the center of both and hoisting them up on his shoulder. Comparing himself and Harry to Jack and Casey is stupid. They have a future together while he and Harry are just having a brief fling before Louis leaves for London and Harry goes wherever the breeze will take him next. Not the same thing at all.

“Ready, mate?” Niall asks as he pours a final layer of the ice they had bought over the top of the beer cans and closes the cooler lid.

“Yeah, let’s do it.” Louis and Niall head toward Jack and Casey who have their arms loaded up in much the same way with the rest of the supplies the four will need for their ride down the river.

It's just before noon and the sun is shining down on them between a smattering of clouds in the sky. They keep themselves cool by drinking cold beers as they lazily float down the river with its current guiding them. Louis listens to them tell many stories about the high school where they all work, enjoying the banter and gentle ribbing the three give each other throughout the afternoon. Louis catches himself laughing hysterically several times.

When they reach a small town called Hayward, they head for the shore and trudge up some trails that lead them to a park where Jack’s car is waiting to take them back to the campsite where they started from. The drive back is about thirty five minutes on deserted country roads. Louis is glad he was warned about Jack’s crazy driving and had been given the front seat to help with the car sickness he’d have undoubtedly had if he had sat in the back. As it was, Niall is looking a little worse for wear when they reach their destination.

Niall convinces Jack to drive them straight to their campsite even though they really need to buy some wood for the campfire. He tells the group he can’t handle another minute in the car and offers to walk to the ranger station to buy the wood they’d need to cook the brats. Jack offers to walk with him, probably feeling guilty for making his friend sick. Casey and Louis stay back to unpack the food and start the fire with whatever twigs and branches they can scrape up nearby. As they go about their chores, they make friendly conversation. Casey and Jack are both very easy going and Louis finds he quite likes them both.

“I hope you don’t mind but Niall told me you recently lost your mom. I’m sure you don’t want to talk about it with someone you don’t really know but I wanted to say something because I know what it’s like. I mean, I’m sure it’s not exactly the same but my twin sister Carrie died a year ago last week. We were really close and it hurt really bad. Still does sometimes, but you just gotta keep on going, ya know? It gets a little better every day.”

“Wow, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too, and I’m sorry about your mom. Life is strange. Never expected to lose Carrie. Or end up here in rural Minnesota, of all places.”

“You’re not from here then?”

“No, not at all. Born and raised in Dallas, actually. My parents are city people through and through. They both lived and worked in downtown Dallas so Carrie and I grew up in a high-rise condo. Never even visited a place like this until I moved here last Fall. Carrie was the one that found the listing for the teaching position out here. She told me I should take it, that it would be an interesting adventure for me if nothing else. I told her hell no but then she died two weeks later after getting hit by a drunk driver while crossing a street."

"Oh, man..." Louis says, voice trailing off with empathy for the man. 

"She’d gone to the corner market just two blocks down from our condo. I was watching a football game on TV and heard a ton of sirens down on the street below. I didn’t think anything of it at first because you hear sirens all the time living in a big city but then she didn’t come back and it had been a while. I finally got my ass off the couch and looked out the window and saw a mess of police cars and an ambulance and, I mean, it’s not like I could see her from way up on the 22nd floor but I just _knew_. Could feel it in my gut all at once, and I ran to the kitchen sink and threw up. A few minutes later I was bolting down the hallway to the elevator and made it down there just in time to ride in the ambulance with her. She was still alive then but unconscious. Never did wake up, died a few hours later.

After that I couldn’t stand being in the city any more. I found the ad for the teaching position in Carrie’s room and I picked up the phone and called the school to see if the position was still available. The rest is history.”

“And you met Jack.”

“Yeah, I met Jack.” Casey laughs. “It sounds cheesy but I really believe it was meant to be. I’m not gonna lie, I was a bit of mess when I moved out here. But, I met him almost right away and we just clicked. He was so sweet and funny. Never thought I’d laugh again but then there he was, making me laugh all the time. It felt so good. I miss Carrie like crazy and I’m sure I always will. But if there’s one thing I know above all else, it’s that she’d want me to be happy. Besides, she’s the reason I came here. It’s like she knew it all along. I like to think that Jack was a gift from her.”

Louis envies the way Casey could so easily find happiness again, something to help fill the void of his loss. Before he can think on that any further though, Niall and Jack return noisily with the firewood.

Practically throwing the bail of firewood at them, Niall dramatically falls to the ground, saying he is exhausted and demanding that Louis cook him up a brat immediately. The four enjoy their campfire gruel over rounds of laughter. And though it would have been fun to stay, both Louis and Niall need to be back at the Riptide, Louis because he is meeting Harry as soon as his shift at the spa ends and Niall because he has an overnight shift covering the front desk for Zayn who buggered off to Minneapolis for the day, no doubt to spend time with Liam. Louis makes a mental note to call Liam tomorrow and get the full scoop.

Upon their return to the Riptide, Louis says goodbye to Niall who is planning to stop down and see Harry before he has to start his shift.

“Just don’t make him late, Horan,” Louis jokingly tells him.

“If he’s late it’s because he’s too busy perfecting his ringlets in front of the mirror. Trust me, I know that boy.”

With loads of crinkles around his eyes, Louis heads up to his suite to shower off the stink of the river and the smoke from the campfire. Okay, fine, and the cigarettes he bummed from Jack. But all stink aside, who is he kidding? He wants to look nice for Harry. The butterflies in his belly are doing a shit job of helping him feel casual about this.

Almost ninety minutes later, long after Louis finished his beauty regime and watched a full episode of Friends, he starts checking his phone every other minute. He hasn’t heard from Harry since he exchanged a couple of texts with him prior to getting to the river. Maybe he hasn’t known Harry forever but he does know it’s not like him to be late and not say anything.

Just then his phone buzzes. But it’s Niall, not Harry.

Niall: He’ll be there in a second. Take care of him.

Louis reads the message a couple of times. It seems odd but he doesn’t have a chance to respond because there’s a knock on his door. He looks through the peep hole and sees Harry.

“Hey, I was wondering where you were,” Louis says as he opens the door.

“Yeah, sorry I’m late.” Harry doesn’t look at Louis as he speaks. Instead, he smooths his long locks out, tucking a loose strand behind his ear, eyes locked on the carpet under his feet.

Louis is immediately concerned. The glaring difference between the Harry that’s at his door tonight versus the one that was here just over twenty-four hours ago, eyes bright and fond with a bouquet of flowers in his big hands, is a bit startling. Tonight’s Harry is distraught, maybe even a little wary. Louis has never seen this Harry before.

“H, if you’re too tired to hang out tonight, I totally understand.”

Harry is fidgety. He tucks another curl behind his other ear, pulls at the bottom of his shirt. “No, I’m --. He glances up from the floor but his eyes skip around, finally settling somewhere in the suite behind Louis. “I want to be here.”

Louis steps forward to hug Harry, arms stretching out. He’s missed him, even though it’s only been since early this morning when they last saw each other. But Harry sidesteps him quickly, stepping into the suite, limbs all twitchy. “Think I need something to drink. Kinda parched.”

Louis backs up to let him in and closes the door behind him, eye brows ruffled in confusion. He heads straight to the kitchen, asking Harry what he’d like.

“I’ll take a glass of wine, if you have some. Please.”

Louis pours him a glass of pinot and joins Harry who is now sitting on the sofa. When Louis sits down next to him, Harry actually shifts himself away, closer to the arm of the sofa. It isn’t much but enough that Louis notices. He watches as Harry drinks the wine like it’s a cold beer after a long, grueling day in the sun.

“Rough day?” Louis’ worry is increasing by the second. Harry must not be feeling well. His hairline looks a bit sweaty and his skin is ashen. Louis busies his own hands with the fringe at the bottom of his denim shorts to keep himself from checking Harry’s forehead for fever.

Harry remains silent, just looking down at the near empty glass of wine he’s holding in his lap. He looks up suddenly, a forced smile on his lips, and asks, “Did you have a good time with Jack and Casey? They’re really great, right?”

“Harry –“

The ringer on Harry’s phone goes off and Harry jumps so high, Louis’ heart nearly stops beating. Harry swallows hard, trying to collect himself while reaching for his phone. He stares at it for a couple of seconds and then accepts the call, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Niall, come on.” Harry sounds tired and edgy.

Louis gets it because he is feeling quite edgy as well. _What the hell is going on?_

“No, I haven’t…… _No_ , you’re not coming up here. Look, I’m – I’ll be okay.” Harry glances at Louis briefly, just a quick flicker and then his eyes are pointed down at his lap again. Then, in a quiet and resigned voice, he says, “I’ll have Louis call you later.” He rolls his eyes, and his voice gets loud and a bit angry. “Because I know you won’t believe me, that’s why.” Harry drinks the rest of his glass of wine in one swig and then says, “Yes, Niall, if you hang up the phone now I will tell him, okay?” Harry's gaze skitters over Louis again before setting the glass down on the coffee table, palming his face with his free hand. He takes a measured breath and then his tone gets a little warmer, more like the Harry that Louis has come to know. “I know, and I appreciate it. Thank you…again.” Harry nods. “K, love you too.”

Hanging up the phone, Harry finally meets Louis’ eyes for more than just a split second. Louis smiles at him, tries to encourage him somehow, because it’s obvious something is wrong and he has an urgent need inside him to make it all better. Seeing Harry like this, a bit closed off and a lot fragile, it’s almost like Louis is suffering right along with him. Because this is not his Harry. And he’ll do whatever it takes to get his Harry back.  

“So that was Niall, obviously. He’s being overbearing and nosey as fuck. You know, the usual.” Harry tries to laugh but it just comes out all strained.

“It sounds like he’s concerned and, to be honest, I’m starting to get the impression there’s reason to be.”

“Well, I’m not your problem, so.” Harry snaps.

“You’re not a problem at all, H.” It takes a great deal of effort to inflect calm into his voice. He reaches out, intending to soothe Harry’s shaking hand by covering it with his own. But when Harry’s entire body tenses up and his eyes go wide in something like fear, Louis halts halfway between them, his hand fisting into a tight ball.

Harry hugs himself, fists clenching at his t-shirt roughly, eyes bouncing all over the room. “I need to take a shower. I feel so gross.”

“Whatever you need.” Louis watches as Harry hangs his head down, staring into his lap once more. His lips are pursed together and there’s a muscle twitching at the side of jaw. And then a tear falls from his lashes, running down his cheek. “Shhh, hey…” Louis reaches for him again but this time Harry puts his hands out, holding him off, his back suddenly getting longer while at the same time leaning away from Louis.

Shaking his head, Harry says, “Don’t. Please.” Harry’s hands are shaking and his eyes are spilling over with tears.

“Harry, --”

“Remember that guy that walked into the bar with me last week?” Harry spits out the words fast, as though the taste of them in his mouth is so abhorrent that he can’t get them out fast enough. “The one that Niall got all pissy about. You remember?”

“Yes, I remember.” Louis is still projecting calm but his heart rate picks up significantly.

“He had an appointment tonight. He’s been a regular for a couple of years. Hits on me quite frequently but not every time I see him. I’ve always turned him down and he never really seems bothered by it or anything. Always thought he was just playing around, like he probably flirts like that with everyone, ya know? Didn’t think he was all that serious, but.….but I was wrong.”

Harry looks up from his lap, meeting Louis’ eyes again, and Louis is struck by how vastly different they look when Harry is sad. The hollowness he sees there makes him feel like he’s just been punched in the gut. There’s a knot in his stomach, because things are starting to add up in his head. He remembers how angry, violent really, Niall was over that man at the bar. Then Niall’s text just before Harry arrived at his door tonight. _Take care of him_.

“Harry?”

Harry shakes his head, his jaw clenching so hard there’s a muscle twitching by his ear. Then he actually laughs but it sounds cold and empty. “I don’t know why I’m reacting like this. It’s stupid. I mean, it’s not like he got that far.”

   “That far? Did he fucking touch you?” Louis stands up, fists clenching at his sides. “Where is he? I’m gonna _fucking_ _kill_ —“

“Stop it, Louis.”

Louis didn’t even realize he was walking to the door until he found himself stopped cold by the sheer volume and urgency of Harry’s voice.

“Stop. _Now_.”     

Louis turns around to see Harry standing up now too, between the coffee table and the sofa.

“The police hauled him off to jail. And that was after Niall broke his nose.”

Louis palms his face. “Fuck.” Then, seeing Harry standing there looking so small, hugging himself with those long arms of his, Louis takes a hesitant step towards him. “Are you okay?”

“No.” Harry shakes his head. “But I’ll be okay….eventually.”

“Tell me what I can do for you. Do you want another glass of wine?”

“Yeah, but I really need a shower more than anything. Need to get him off me,” Harry’s whole body shuddering as he says that last part.

Louis nods. “Okay, come on.” He leads Harry into the bedroom towards the ensuite, stopping along the way to grab some things out of the dresser. “Here are some clean clothes for when you get out.”

“Thank you,” Harry says, taking the small pile of clothes from Louis.

“’Course.” Louis shrugs, and then watches as Harry disappears into the ensuite.

Louis leaves the bedroom, closing the door as he does so. He waits until he hears the shower start and then he dials Niall quickly.

Niall picks up right away. “How is he?”

“He’s a mess, as you well know. He’s in the shower right now. What the fuck happened?”

“He told you, didn’t he?”

“Well, he gave me a rough outline. Tell me you shattered that fucker’s nose into a million tiny fragments.”

“You better fuckin’ believe it. Trust me, there was blood everywhere and none of it was mine. I took that douchebag out, had to be pulled off of him.”

“Wish I was there too, ‘cause my fists are aching to punch the fucker’s lights out.”

“I know, I know, Lou. But just be there for Hazza, okay? He could use a little love, I think.”

“He doesn’t seem to want me near him though.”

“I’m sure it’s just temporary. Give him a little time.”

“Yeah, okay. Whatever he needs.” Louis was leaning against the hard wall of the foyer. “So did this happen in the spa? Like right when you stopped down there to say hi, or what?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I came down, was talking some shite with Allie, the concierge, and heard something crash in one of the rooms. Allie and I looked at each like ‘what the fuck?’ and then a second later I could hear Harry yelling and I just bolted for that room. I busted in there and he had H bent over --. He was holding him down with one hand and had his other hand down his pants. I grabbed that bitch and threw him to the ground then yanked him up again so I could pound my fist in his face. That’s when I broke his nose.”

“Jesus fuck.”

“Allie told me when I first got there that H had just started with his last appointment. Far as I can tell, they were only in there together for a couple minutes when all hell started breaking loose.”

“Long enough though. God, I thought Harry had a fever or something, the way he showed up at my door looking all pale and clammy and just so unlike his normal bubbly self.”

“I asked him if he wanted to go home, even though I didn’t think he should be alone. But, he was adamant that he had to keep his date with you.”

“I’m not even convinced he was going to tell me until you called him. Even then, I think he tried to keep it in but he just couldn’t.”

“I wasn’t going to let him. It’s not good to keep stuff like that bottled up.”

“I’m glad you were there for him. Glad you took care of that bastard too. I’ll do what I can for him, I promise.”

“I know you will. And I’m right downstairs all night if you need me, k?”

“Okay. Talk to you later then.”

Hanging up the phone, Louis deposited it on the counter and went to collect his and Harry’s wine glasses off the coffee table, refilling them with chilled wine. Louis drank some of his while he listened for the shower to turn off. Harry was in there for quite a while but Louis tried to be patient, understanding that Harry probably needed some space as well.

Eventually Louis could hear the water turn off and a few minutes later the click of the door as Harry came out of the bedroom wearing the clean pair of joggers and t-shirt Louis had provided him. Standing up, Louis grabs the glass of wine and offers it to Harry, hair still damp from the shower.

“Feeling a little better?”

“Yeah, I think so. Thank you.”

Harry takes the glass, drinks a little and then reaches for Louis’ glass, taking it from him and setting both glasses down on the table again. Almost in slow motion, Harry steps into Louis’ space. He wraps his arms around Louis and Louis immediately reciprocates, matching his slow pace, holding Harry with just the right amount of pressure so he feels safe but not trapped.

They stand there like that for a while, just holding on to each other soundlessly. Louis kisses Harry’s shoulder lightly when Harry finally moves his hands, signaling an intention to end the embrace. They pull apart slightly and Louis looks up at Harry, happy to see a little more color in his cheeks.

“Want me to put on the telly? We can just watch something mindless if you want.”

“Sure, sounds good.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Not really, but I suppose I should probably eat something or the wine will take over.”

Louis flicks on the telly and hands the remote to Harry, then heads off to the kitchen to see what he can round up. Returning a minute later with a bag of chips and a bowl of salsa, he plops down on the couch next to Harry. “This is all I’ve got. Dig in, babe. If you want more, we can always order room service. Remember, I’m not paying the bill so we might as well.”

Harry smiles a little, and Louis feels greatly relieved.

They watch the last half hour of Sleepless in Seattle, which they’ve both seen several times before. When the credits are rolling, Harry pushes the power button on the remote and the room is suddenly very silent around them.

“I just want to talk a bit, if you don’t mind,” Harry says.

“Yeah, of course.” Louis pauses, not knowing if Harry wants to talk about something specific or just talk to take his mind off of what happened.

“I’ve had a lot of sex with a lot of different people.”

_Whoa, okay_. Louis isn’t sure where Harry’s going with this so he doesn’t say anything, just waits for Harry to elaborate if he wants.

“I’ve never thought much about it. If I met someone I was attracted to, and they were interested too, I was never one to hold off on that, you know? It was always purely physical for me. I mean, I guess that probably goes without saying since I never really had any long-term relationships or anything. It was just sex, just fun, you know?”

None of this was really news to Louis. Niall had hinted about this the very first time they met. So when Harry looks at Louis, uncertainty showing in his face, Louis just nods and gives him a small smile.

“So if sex isn’t a big deal to me, isn’t something I’ve been saving for some special occasion with a special someone, then why is this such a big deal?”

“Because he didn’t ask and you didn’t want it.”

“Yeah, but so what? He didn’t get that far. It’s not like he raped me.”

“He tried to though. And maybe there wasn’t penetration but that doesn’t really matter. It’s sexual assault if he touched you and you didn’t want him to.”

“I know, and I get that. I guess I’m just trying to figure out what changed in me. And I don’t mean how I’ve changed as a result of what just happened. I mean, that’s probably not anything I’ll notice or figure out this soon. I mean that I was somehow different before Alex Zender even walked into that room.”

“What. The. Fuck? _Alex Zender_? That’s who did this to you?” Louis plows his fist into the arm of the sofa. “Son of a bitch!”

“ _Louis_.” Harry’s voice breaks through the anger that’s flared up inside him and Louis collects himself while Harry looks on. “You know him?”

“He’s a healthcare executive, a client of our firm, and a disgusting human being. Yes, I’ve been unfortunate enough to deal with him on several occasions.” Louis grunts, shaking his head. “Goddamnit, I ran into him a few days ago downstairs in the lobby and he even made gross remarks about some of the staff being really hot and how he fucked some local girl the previous night. I knew he was sleazy but I wouldn’t have ever thought he’d force himself on someone. And I sure as hell had no idea he had his sights on you but, goddamn it, I should have said something to someone. I’m so sorry, fuck.”

“Louis, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault and it’s not your responsibility to raise red flags anytime someone says a derogatory comment in your presence. Besides, he’s been a client of mine for years. He comes here several times a year. He’s flirted with me over and over. So, if anyone should have seen it coming, it’s me.”

“Harry, I won’t let you blame yourself for this bastard’s—“

“Well good, let’s agree that it’s neither of our faults and just forget it ever happened.”

Louis shakes his head but forces himself to keep his mouth shut for Harry’s sake. Harry doesn’t need him to fly off the handle about Alex The Asshole. That depraved idiot is not what’s important here. Harry is important. “Okay. You’re right, let’s forget about him.” Louis has a special file cabinet in his mind that is filling up quickly with ideas about how he can make sure Asshole Alex gets what he deserves. But for now, “What were you saying before his name came up? That you felt different in some way before it happened?”

“Yeah, something like that. Look, I don’t really even know what I mean. I think I just want to talk about something else completely, take my mind off of it altogether.”

“Have you talked to Gemma recently?”

“Yeah, just talked to her this morning actually. Called her as I was driving in to work. She’s doing great. Thinks the morning sickness is done.”

“Oh that’s great! Can’t imagine what it would be like to know you’re not really sick but still have to puke day in and day out.”

“Right? But now she’s on to the next dilemma. She wants to know if the baby is a boy or a girl but her husband doesn’t want to know, and she’s just giving in and letting him have his way.” Pouting Harry is so adorable, Louis thinks.

“Ah, I see. And although it’s their baby, this is really about you, and you want to know if you’re getting a niece or a nephew.”

“Of course it’s about me. Everything is.” Harry smiles a little, and Louis’ heart swells at the sight.

“Yep, you’re right. Everything is about you, my beautiful flitting butterfly.” Louis reaches for Harry’s hand and is delighted when Harry lets him take it, even reciprocates with a tight squeeze.

Harry smiles genuinely for the first time tonight, and Louis mirrors him. They don’t talk about the assault for the rest of the night. When their eyelids start to droop a few more glasses of wine and a pleasant conversation later, Louis asks Harry to stay over.

“I’d like that, thanks,” Harry responds.

The two brush their teeth and get into comfy clothes for bed. As they crawl in, Harry asks, “Will you hold me ‘til I fall asleep, Lou?”

“Yeah, babe. ‘Course.”

“Thank you.”

Harry takes up his position as little spoon while Louis curls his body around him, his hand resting flat across the larger man’s firm abs. A few minutes later, after they’re both settled comfortably and their breathing has begun to slow, Louis hears him say, “I like being your little spoon.” And Louis pulls him in a little tighter and kisses the base of his neck lightly. They both nod off to sleep shortly after.    

Hours later, in the darkness of the night, Louis awakens to the warm caress of large hands across his skin and lips brushing along his arm. He feels long fingers wrap around his wrist, moving him until his hand comes to rest on the hot hardness of Harry’s cock. Louis opens his eyes, fully awake now. Harry is facing him, both of them lying on their sides.

“Hazza?” Louis whispers, wanting to make sure Harry is awake, aware of what he’s doing.

“Please, Lou. Need you to touch me, help me forget. Just want it to be you. _Your_ hands on me, not his.”

Shifting his hand to wrap his fingers more firmly around Harry’s full length, Louis strokes him slowly. “Just me, baby, no one else.”

Louis kisses Harry then, slowly but possessively, trying to convey with his lips and tongue the feelings that are bubbling up inside him. He’s overwhelmed by the need to protect this man, this beautiful angel, in his arms. But it’s not just that he wants to take care of Harry, make him feel better after what happened to him. There’s a selfish side to it, a distinct need to possess Harry again just for the sole reason of staking claim. It's completely inappropriate, Louis knows it, considering the temporary nature of their relationship, but just the same he wants to cover Harry in his own scent, like an animal, marking him as his and his alone. He doesn’t want Harry to remember what it’s like to have anyone else’s hands on him, anyone else inside him. He wants to erase them all, not even just Asshole Alex, but anyone Harry’s ever been with in the past. The fact he doesn’t have any right to feel that way about Harry doesn't seem to matter; he’s simply not willing to entertain anything else in this moment because his need is too strong to ignore. And anyway, Harry is asking him for a sort of claiming - even if he doesn't mean it in the same way as Louis, so who is Louis to say no?

His own cock is swelling up fast as he relishes in the feeling of Harry’s long form pressed up against him. Taking his hand off Harry’s cock he nudges Harry’s hip, turning him onto his back so he can move over him, pressing small kisses all over his body. He takes his time, kissing Harry everywhere from his strong collarbones to his nipples, his ribcage and rippled abs, even the fleshier part of his hips. Louis worships the expanse of flawless, alabaster skin laid out before him, all the while enjoying the feel of Harry’s fingers playing in his hair. When the need to taste Harry becomes overpowering, he takes Harry’s cock in his hand again so he can lick up the entire length, lightly teasing around the head, tonguing at the slit until Harry starts writhing beneath him.

“Turn over, baby.” Harry doesn’t respond right away so Louis kisses him on the mouth again, then leans back to look into Harry’s eyes, the silver moonlight coming through the window and giving him a beautiful view of Harry in the otherwise dark room. “Want to eat you out nice and slow, babe, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah,” Harry whines as he complies with Louis’ request, repositioning himself. Louis places a pillow underneath him, and fits himself in between Harry’s muscular thighs. Palming the creamy porcelain-like globes of flesh before him, Louis plants small kisses and nips along Harry’s lower back and the twin alabaster cheeks, stopping only to lick along his crack. Louis has to pinch the base of his own cock because the sight of Harry’s arse is so hot he feels like he’s about to explode all over it. He spreads Harry open with his hands, thumbs digging into the supple flesh. Louis groans loudly and wastes no time tonguing Harry’s hole, licking all around it, loving the feel of his tongue on that tight rim. He sucks at it thoroughly, then plants a kiss across it before pushing his tongue in slightly, moaning at how tightly Harry’s muscles hug his tongue. His mouth is watering so there’s ample lubrication for his tongue to continue its quest of fucking Harry’s hole. After several prods, a few kisses and licks in between, Harry’s hole loosens up just enough that Louis buries his face in Harry’s arse, pushing in even deeper. Harry’s hips are bucking and he’s whimpering in pleasure. Those sounds rev Louis up even more and he pulls Harry’s hips up higher, giving him even greater access to continue the relentless teasing of Harry’s hole.

“Can I use my fingers?” Louis asks, coming up for air.

Harry mewls, pushing his arse up even higher. “Please, Louis, just fuck me. Need you inside me.”

Louis gets the bottle of lube and a condom he’d stashed in the nightstand several days ago, thumb brushing against the delicate skin of Harry’s hole all the while. When Louis teases the fluttering hole with lubed up fingers, Harry begs him to hurry and fuck him already.

“Shhhh, babe. Gotta stretch you out good first.”

“No, Lou, just fuck me.”

“H, you’re too tight for my cock.”

“Just one finger then, no more than that. Don’t care if it hurts a little, want to _feel_ you.”

_Fuck_. "Two fingers and we’re taking it slow. Maybe you don’t care if I hurt you but _I_ do _.”_

When Louis’ index and middle finger have scissored Harry open, Louis grudgingly consents to Harry’s demands to hurry up but not until he has applied extra lube to Harry’s hole and pours a generous amount over the condom. Harry rolls onto his back, looking up at Louis. Smoothing Harry’s curls away from his cheek, Louis kisses Harry’s mouth tenderly, trying to show Harry how precious he is with soft, slow movements. “I’m not sure you’re real. You’re so unbelievably beautiful.”

Green eyes gleam at him in the moonlight.

Louis pushes his middle finger into Harry again, just for good measure. “Ready, babe?” Louis asks as he moves to line himself up.

“Please,” is all Harry says, his body offered up to Louis like a gourmet entrée at a five-star restaurant, the sheen of sweat across his skin a mouth-watering garnish.

Louis pushes in slowly, only far enough so that the head of his cock is buried inside. Harry is panting and Louis closes his eyes tightly as he fights the current of arousal that’s burning deep in his belly. Harry feels perfect, so unbelievably tight and hot around him. Slowly, he pushes deeper until he’s in all the way to the root. And God, there is nothing better than this. No other place in the entire world that he’d rather be. Because this feels so heavenly, so _right_. “ _Harry_.”  

The two men lock eyes, anchoring themselves together, their bodies otherwise floating off into the oblivion of pure bliss. The expression on Harry’s face is nothing if not completely vulnerable, and Louis is reminded of Harry’s need to make himself whole again after what happened earlier, to feel safe and pure again. In all the ways he can, Louis tries to show Harry how special, how important, and how utterly treasured he is. But just as important as that, he wants Harry to feel safe and protected in his arms. Why would anyone want to hurt this beautiful man? All Louis wants in life is to make him smile.

And Louis doesn’t even realize he’s smiling at Harry until Harry smiles back. It feels like a roman candle went off inside his chest, like something exploded and the pressure gives way to this light, blissful feeling that he knows he’ll never forget in a million years. It’s incredible. And undeniable. He’s in love with this beautiful creature beneath him and there is no way he could have avoided this. And, even if he could, Louis wouldn’t go back and change a thing. Because being able to love Harry for even just a couple of weeks is better than a lifetime of never knowing this feeling. It’ll just have to be enough.

Harry clamps two large hands on Louis’ hips, pushing him away slightly only to pull him back in fast and deep. And just like that, Louis is pulled out of his head and back into the physicality of the moment, taking Harry’s cue and fucking him with all he’s got. Both of them are loud, their moans mingling together like the most beautiful music Louis has ever heard. Harry locks his long, muscled legs around Louis, pulling their bodies even tighter together. All the while, Harry’s cock is rubbing against Louis’ belly until, with one last almost-yell, Harry is shooting off between them while Louis continues to pump into him, coming apart as Harry’s channel pulses around him.

Louis only barely has the presence of mind to pull out of Harry before he basically collapses on top of him. Though he tries to shift some of his weight off of Harry, it’s clear that Harry doesn’t want that, clinging to him tightly. A minute later Louis’ breathing is still not quite normal so he can only barely make out the words Harry whispers, still clutching him tightly as though he never wants to let go. “Louis, I…. _thank you_.”

There’s nothing Louis can say to that. If he’s done anything for Harry tonight, it’s really the least he could do after all that Harry has done for him. _I love you_. These words are on the tip of his tongue but he can’t say them out load, especially not right now. It is what it is. Louis will be leaving soon and Harry will be heading into a new adventure. He can’t be angry about it because he loves everything about this man. He won’t ask him to change because it would be like tearing off a piece of his butterfly wings. Taking away his free spirit, the thing that makes him most beautiful? Never. He’ll just relish the time he has left and feel lucky for having experienced it at all.


	18. Chapter 18

Niall wakes them up at 8:15 in the morning, arriving at Louis’ suite with a room service cart full of breakfast entrees for the three of them. He says it’s “on the house” and both Louis and Harry roll their eyes at him lovingly. Niall either stole the food outright or charmed his way through the kitchen staff until they were more than delighted to create any and all gourmet concoctions the boy asked for. Throughout breakfast, Niall fusses over Harry when he isn’t outright cuddling with him.

When they finish eating Niall informs them that he needs one-on-one time with best mate #1 (Louis is best mate #2 now) and will, therefore, be spending the day with Harry. He asks Louis to rejoin them later in the evening for a birthday party they are attending for a mutual friend of theirs, another one of Niall’s colleagues from the high school. Louis doesn’t want to intrude on their friend’s party but when he tries to say as much, they both cut him off, informing him the party is taking place at a local pub and is in no way a private function. In fact, they even tell him to call Liam and invite him along as well, citing that Zayn is friends with the birthday girl – a girl named LeAnn -- as well.

When Harry excuses himself to ‘clean up a bit’ before heading out, Niall gives Louis a tight hug. “Thank you so much for taking care of him, Lou. I can tell he’s doing a lot better already.”

Louis ignores his thanks, squeezes him back, and responds with “Glad you’re spending the day with him. I’ve kept you two apart plenty these last couple of weeks.”

“Yeah, it’s about time you give him back to me. Who do you think you are anyway?” Niall laughs, eyes sparkling with Irish mischief. “I mean, you do have that sexy bum so I guess I can understand the appeal and all…” He trails off, practically falling over to get a look at said bum. “Shite, I’d probably be willing to go gay for a piece of that. Can I touch it, just once?” Louis bats his hand away and faux punches him in the arm, all the while Niall is laughing.

When Harry returns to the main room, Louis and Niall are all out wrestling on the floor, in between fits of giggles. They both look up at the same time and see Harry smiling at them. “I can’t leave you two alone for two minutes, can I?”

Louis is on top so Niall takes the opportunity to reach around and grab a handful of Louis’ bum. “Mmm, niiiice.” Louis squeals, struggling to get away, still giggling at the same time. “Sorry, Harry, but this is all mine now.”

“It is rather lovely, isn’t it?” Harry joins in, eyes gleaming in the same mischievous way as Niall’s. It’s a sight Louis is all too happy to see.

Louis maneuvers himself off of Niall to stand up. “Oh I see how it is. My bum is now off limits,” he looks at Harry, “for everyone. I deserve more respect than this.” Louis is only barely able to keep a straight face as he continues, “I’ll have you know, I’m more than just a piece of meat. I'm a hard-working, intelligent man with–“

“With a sexy bum.” Niall and Harry chime in simultaneously, breaking into a new round of laughter.

When their laughter finally fades, Louis asks, “Don’t you two have some one-on-one bonding to do today?”

“We’ve already started,” Niall cracks.

“Somewhere other than here, perhaps?” Louis begins pushing the food cart toward the door, tipping his head in the same direction.

“Harry, he doesn’t love us anymore. Guess it’s time to be on our lonely way then. I hope you’ll let me cry on your shoulder as you drive me somewhere to pick up a pint or two of ice cream.”

“Mint Oreo or cookie dough?”

Niall bursts out into faux sobs.

“Get out, you fools.” Louis says as he opens the door to usher said fools out of his suite.

As Niall crosses the threshold, he cups Louis’ face in both hands and kisses him square on the lips. “See you tonight because you _will_ be there.”

“What if I’m sick of you lot?”

“Impossible. I’ll text you the details later.” Niall states, walking out into the hall.

“He has no idea what time we’re meeting tonight. I’ll text you,” Harry pipes in, pushing Niall down the hall and coming to stand directly in front of Louis. Harry scans Louis’ face. There’s a lovely vein in Harry’s neck that’s pulsing. Biting his lip, he pulls Louis in for a hug, whispering in his ear, “Thank you again for last night.” When Harry pulls away his eyes are glistening. Louis swallows thickly, trying to suppress his own emotions. “Was everything I needed.”

Louis can’t find any words so he just shakes his head. It feels wrong to be thanked for doing something that served himself at least as much as it might have helped Harry. Besides, those green eyes make it impossible for him to think straight, even when they aren’t swirling with emotion.

“Good. See you tonight, H.” Louis smiles warmly, squeezing Harry’s hip briefly before letting go.

Closing the door as the two men leave, Louis swiftly finds his phone to make the call he had planned out during the night, while holding Harry in his arms.

When the receptionist at GrayStone Health answers, Louis says, “Hi, this is Louis Tomlinson from Corden, Tomlinson and Payne. There’s an urgent matter I need to speak with Mr. Gaines about.” He waits while he’s being put through to the CEO. “Hi, Mr. Gaines. I need to make you aware of a disturbing event that took place last night with one of your vice presidents and also let you know that our firm will no longer be working with GrayStone Health if this particular person remains employed.”

The call lasts only a few minutes and Louis’ next call is to Liam’s office. He explains what happened and gives him a heads up to suspend any projects for GrayStone Health until further notice. That distasteful subject handled, he asks Liam if he and Zayn would like to go to the party tonight. Liam says they were already planning on seeing each other tonight and that he’ll check with Zayn and get back to him. Their conversation is cut short as Liam is already late for a meeting.

Louis feels exhausted so he crawls back into bed. Harry’s scent is all around him, in the sheets and on his own skin. He breathes it in, letting himself relax and just take in his surroundings. The sheets are cool around him and the room is dark thanks to the thick blackout curtains he’d pulled shut before lying down. Alone with his thoughts, he thinks about how life is unpredictable and strange. A year ago he was in New York City up to his neck in legal cases, a few months ago he was back in London helping his mum through cancer treatments, less than a month ago he was stumbling his way through work and grief in Minneapolis, and now here he is lying in a luxury suite in rural Minnesota, his thoughts consumed with a lovely green-eyed boy. Grabbing the pillow that Harry had used last night, he wraps an arm around it and pulls it against his chest, holding it tight like he had held Harry.

Tonight, instead of feeling lonely or anxious, Louis feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the wonderful people in his life. He thinks of Liam who knew him better than he knows himself, sending him to this very place so he could take the time he needed to start healing. Then there is the brood of loving siblings back home, the people who he knows have always loved him no matter what. Whether he lived close or far, they have always been in his thoughts and he in theirs. Though they’re a burden on him sometimes, he knows he’s received from them at least as much as he’s given, and he’d be nothing without their love. And now he’s got even more people to be thankful for. There’s Niall who has made him laugh more in the past couple of weeks than he’s laughed in ages, showing him how important it is to make life fun. Even Zayn, with his kindness and optimistic outlook– viewing life as a series of choices instead of a pre-determined path, has made a material impact in Louis’ life.

And then there’s Harry. Wonderful and perfect Harry whose inner and outer beauty is so rare and delicate like a butterfly. Louis thinks he’s incredibly lucky just to have been able to spend this small amount of time with him, to be able to love him even if he knows it’s only for a limited time. He’s never shared as much of himself as he’s shared with Harry and he’s thankful for the entire experience. Without Harry, he’d never have known it was possible for him to feel this deeply about someone, to know what it’s like to be intimate with someone – to actually _want_ to share little details of himself with another. And he’d never know the unimaginable pleasure of having someone trust him so fully that they’d give their body over to him willingly and without reservation. His time with Harry may be coming to an end soon, but Louis knows he’s better off for having known him. Planting his face in the pillow, filling his nose and lungs with Harry’s scent, his lips curl into a smile.

As much as Louis doesn’t want any of this to end, he can at least admit to himself that his head is in a better place now and there’s something like hope taking root inside him. He thinks there might be some positive changes he can make in his life, even if they’re only small. And maybe it’ll take some time since he’ll have his hands full with taking care of his siblings on a daily basis again. But he’ll get there. It’s a start to something better. And he thinks his mum would be proud of him for realizing that. And it’s that thought which allows Louis to drifts off to a peaceful sleep, Harry’s pillow still clutched against him.

Just as he said he would, Harry had texted Louis the time and location of the party. He had agreed to meet up with Niall and Harry there, a bar called Jubilee. He’s running a little late because James had called him about the Asshole Alex issue and the firm’s contract with GrayStone Health. James also wanted an update on how he was doing and what he thought of his experience at the Riptide. Being it had been a couple weeks since they last spoke, and James was also paying for his stay just as much as Liam, Louis couldn’t exactly rush through the conversation. They talked a little about the firm and the direction James wanted to take it as well as Louis’ upcoming transition back to the London office. Anyway, the call ran long and Louis finds himself rushing down dirt roads while his phone is pinging like crazy with text messages from Harry, Niall and Liam, all wondering where he is.

When he arrives at the bar, a small brick building huddled between a CVS and a local post office branch, he notices Zayn on the side of the building having a smoke. Louis figures a smoke before stepping inside sounds like a good plan so he walks over to him.

Noticing his approach, Zayn holds out his hand in greeting. “Hey, Louis.”

Louis returns his smile and gives him a one-handed hug. “Hi, Zayn. Liam inside?”

“Yeah, he made the mistake of offering to help frost the birthday cake so he was sucked into the kitchen. The owner of this place is LeAnn’s brother – LeeAnn’s the birthday girl tonight – and her brother totally forgot to order the cake so a few people pitched in last minute and used the bar’s kitchen to bake one. Figured it was a good time to slip out for a smoke.”

“Can I bum one off you?”

“’Course.” Zayn hooks him up and Louis relaxes, leaning back against the building much the same as Zayn was doing when he approached. “You’ll like everyone in there,” Zayn points at the bar, “They’re great people. Welcomed me in like family when I first came here.”

Louis nods, smiling into Zayn’s brown eyes, laughing at himself. “You should have heard what I said about this place when Liam first told me he was sending me here. I was way off.”

“Well, I know it wasn’t your choice to come here but I’m glad you did.”

“Yeah, me too.” Louis’ phone goes off again. Another text from Niall. He pops it out of his back pocket and glances at the screen while Zayn gets another cig from his pack. _If we don’t hear from you in the next five minutes, I’m calling the cops. Where tf u at?_ He types a quick response. _Chill._ _Be there in a few._

The two men walk into the bar a few minutes later. It’s dark inside and takes a few minutes for their eyes to adjust. Zayn spots Liam and they head over to a group of five or six people he’s standing with, two of which are Harry and Niall. They approach from behind Liam, who’s chatting away like he’s known all of these people for years. From over Liam’s shoulder, he makes eye contact with Harry who is facing him on the other side of the group, the two exchange smiles.

Liam is talking about his upcoming trip to London. _Oh shit._ Before Louis has a chance to stop him, he hears Liam say, “My best mate is transferring back to our London office and I’m helping him get settled.” Louis looks at Harry who is listening intently, smiling politely as Liam continues. “Yeah, we’re leaving in four days so, yeah, coming up quickly.” And that’s when Harry’s smile falters a bit, but only briefly, before it’s back, maybe wider than before. Louis swallows thickly. He knows he’s a dick for allowing Harry to find out this way. He had been planning on telling him since he got back from the weekend in Minneapolis but every time he tried, the words just got stuck and he let their conversation get steered in another direction.

Throughout the rest of the night, Louis doesn’t see much of Harry. Unless you count the various times Louis watches him from across the bar, ordering a drink, or propping his foot up on the bottom rung of a bar stool while talking to someone, or watching his dimples appear while he’s laughing with Niall or Zayn or Liam. Louis is aware of Harry’s presence all night, even smiling at Harry the few times he manages to make eye contact with him. But all of the new people Louis meets make a good distraction nonetheless as he finds himself chatting with several of Harry and Niall’s friends. They’re a great crew, the lot of them, and Louis is rather fond of the way they all seem to know and like each other so well. Their friendly banter and endless stories about the high school (almost all of them work there) are highly entertaining. They treat each other like family, really, and Louis is endeared by them all.

As the party starts winding down, Louis starts to wonder if he’ll get a chance to talk to Harry at all before the night is through. Before he gets too far into his fretting on that subject, Harry suddenly appears behind him, leaning in and talking into Louis’ ear. “Think I’ll be ready to head home in a few. Want to stay at mine tonight?”

Louis can’t help but lean into Harry, his cheek to Harry’s lips. “I’d love that.” Louis turns around to look at the man he’s only seen from a distance all night. Harry looks gorgeous, but what else is new? His hair is hanging free in long, chocolate locks. Louis glances down at his perfect, pink lips and back up into those lovely eyes.

“Niall brought me here in his truck so can I get a ride with you?” he says, twisting his lips in a wry smile.

“We are going to the same place. Kind of convenient, that.” Louis smiles, so relieved to have Harry’s attention at last, basking in the glow of the man's smile. Yes, he’s a selfish bastard apparently but he’s fine with that.

After making their goodbyes with the handful of mates that are left, the two drive to Harry’s house without exchanging many words. The entire time he’s driving, Louis is trying to determine how best to bring up his impending departure, to acknowledge it now that Harry knows. His stomach is in knots because he really has no idea what to say. Or if it really matters at all. Harry may not have known his exact departure date before tonight but he knew all along it was coming. Maybe it’s better just to leave it alone. What is there to say anyway? They may not be leaving this place at the same time but they’ll both be leaving it behind. With that thought, Louis stays quiet and soon they’re pulling into Harry’s driveway.

They don’t even make it inside the house when Harry grabs hold of Louis’ forearm, yanking him roughly until Louis is pressed hard against him. Harry kisses him deeply, almost desperately, hands finding their way under Louis’ shirt, pulling Louis against Harry’s rock hard body. And, boy, is he _hard_. Feeling that big dick pressed into his hip, Louis is immediately itching to get him naked, a tremendous heat building deep and fast in his belly. Louis manages to get the door unlocked (he takes the key right out of Harry’s trembling hand) and pulls Harry into the house, grabbing him by the wrist and leading him into the bedroom.

As soon as they reach the bed, Harry pulls Louis’ shirt over his head. Louis is a bit surprised by Harry’s urgency but he’s more than happy to see where this all leads. The way Harry is looking at him now makes Louis feel wholly exposed and fiercely desired. The thought that Harry can really see him? Surprisingly, it’s not uncomfortable at all. Of course Louis wishes things were different, that they could somehow let this connection become something more but he’s accepted things as they are. Tonight all he wants is to give himself over to Harry in whatever way he’d like.

Louis watches as Harry undresses, drinking in the tattoos that accentuate each defined muscle of his upper body. As Harry removes the rest of his clothes, Louis frees his own erection by removing his as well. Simultaneously, their movements slow as they pause to take in their fill of the other, eyes roaming across the curves and ridges that make up their naked forms. Reaching out, Harry’s knuckles graze Louis’ nipples, causing a shiver to run down his spine. There’s a question in Harry’s eyes as he slowly wraps his arms around Louis, trailing his fingers down Louis’ back and over the swell of his arse. The sheer need that he has for Harry is almost too much. His body is thrumming with it. He’s gripped with a desire he’s never had with anyone else and suddenly it’s something he just _has_ to experience. And if he’s going to do it, there’s no doubt in his mind that it should be with Harry. It’s _because_ of Harry that he even wants it at all.

Louis knows he’s in this way too deep. He knows it but it’s impossible not to feel things, so many goddamn things, for this lovely man standing in front of him. Letting Harry fuck him isn’t going to make it any easier to leave. But not knowing what’s it like? That would be far worse.

“I want you to fuck me, H.”  

Harry gives his arse cheeks a good squeeze before gripping both sides of Louis’ face in his hands, their foreheads pressing together, both of them inhaling heavily. “You sure?”

“Yes.” And then because Harry hasn’t moved, “Please.”

There’s a strangled sound coming from Harry and Louis worries for a moment if maybe he read Harry wrong. Maybe Harry doesn’t want him like that. But before he can ask him, Harry takes his hand and silently leads him over to his bed. Linking their fingers together, Harry kisses him chastely before reaching into the bedside table to retrieve the lube and condom.

Their eyes meet again as Harry closes the small space between them, taking Louis into his arms, holding him like he’s some kind of gift. Louis’ body is trembling in excitement. He feels like he’s about to catch fire with all of the sparks that are flying as their bodies press together, hot skin against hotter skin. Their lips collide and they melt into each other. There’s no resistance, nothing holding either one of them back. It’s so _easy_. Why is it so easy to fall for someone, even when you know it’ll hurt so badly when they’re not there to catch you when you land?

Somehow they end up lying on the bed, Louis doesn’t know how they got there, and Harry is murmuring unintelligible things as he kisses along every curve on Louis’ body. Having decided to do this, Louis has given over to it completely. His body is pliant, divinely content to let Harry take over. It feels like hours but it’s probably only been minutes of Harry ravishing him with his mouth and hands when he hears the pop of the lube cap opening, the sound breaking up the haze of pleasure briefly.

Louis lies on his back while Harry takes his time opening him up. Those beautiful green eyes watch him attentively, making sure he feels good every step of the way. And Louis wonders again if Harry is even real. How is it possible he’s this perfect? This beautiful? And yet here he is, green eyes and dimples, taking care of Louis in the best way.

Harry has a big cock. That’s the only reason Louis is able to allow Harry to take his sweet time prepping him -- his level of desire and lack of patience would otherwise have had him begging for relief. Now, watching Harry slide the condom over that big gorgeous dick, Louis can’t help but get a little nervous about this. Last minute jitters, that’s all. Louis still wants, wants, _wants_ Harry.

It was stupid of Louis to worry though. Because _Harry_.

“Just breathe, babe. Relax and let me in,” Harry says in that sexy deep voice of his while placing Louis’ hand over his heart. Harry gently strokes Louis’ cock as he pushes in, praising Louis with sweet words for each inch he gives up. It’s a lot. But it only takes a minute or two to relax into it, and once he does, it’s the best feeling ever.

“Ah fuck,” Louis groans.

It’s a struggle for Louis to keep his emotions out of it and just focus on the physical sensations, at least for the first part. But once Harry finds a rhythm, Louis’ brain practically fizzles out completely and all thought is long lost in the steady pulsing of Harry’s hips as he fucks into him, making him feel full and complete in more ways than one.

They’re both sweating and moaning loudly by the time their bodies climax within seconds of each other. Skin flushed and damp, they lie next to each other, Harry’s arm draped across Louis’ thigh, both of them trying to catch their breath.

Several minutes go by before Louis feels the bed move as Harry shifts his body. Louis rolls his head to face him. Harry looks at him with sparkling eyes, lower lip caught between his teeth. There are so many words in Louis’ head but he can’t untangle them enough to say anything. Instead, he simply smiles at Harry and lifts a heavy arm to brush back the strand of sweat-slick hair that’s stuck to the man’s cheek. Harry smiles back, dimples flashing. What Louis wouldn’t give to make this fairytale real.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter includes mention of attempted suicide.

The morning sun inevitably creeps into Harry’s bedroom window and Louis is awake to watch it as it slowly makes its way across Harry’s sleeping form. Louis slept for maybe three hours but has been up since before dawn. He’s spent most of the last couple of hours watching Harry sleep and replaying last night over and over in his head, enjoying the sweet soreness in his bum. The rhythmic sound of Harry’s breathing is comforting and it allows his mind to begin sorting through potential plans, things he’s got to do when he gets back to London. There is still anxiety and stress when he thinks about going back into his mum’s house with all of the memories that reside there. But with Harry lying next to him, it’s somehow easier to think it through, plan it all out, how he could maybe get through it alright.

Just minutes before Harry’s alarm is set to go off, to wake him for his shift at the Riptide, Louis allows himself to play with the long chocolate locks he’s been itching to touch. Harry moves his body into the touch, slowly waking. Louis smiles as he watches as those beautiful eyes open under dark lashes, slowly focusing on him.

“Hi,” Louis whispered.

“G’morning,” Harry says, dimples making an appearance on both sides of his smile.

“It’s almost seven.”

In response, Harry reaches for Louis, putting a heavy arm around him and holding him tightly. Louis responds in kind.

“You feel okay?” Harry asks.

“Yeah. A little sore but in a good way.” He looks at Harry, who seems pleased with his answer.

They lie there for a couple more minutes, Louis dragging his knuckles across Harry’s arm. Then Harry suddenly pushes himself up on his elbow, letting go of Louis in the process. “So three days, huh?”

“Yeah.” Louis feels the anxiety building up in the pit of his stomach. “I’m sorry you didn’t hear that from me, Haz. I really am. I should have told you. I just – it would have made it seem real and I quite liked pretending it wasn’t.”

Harry sighs softly. “I think I understand. And it’s not like I didn’t know it would happen, so.” Harry’s voice trails off, eyes downcast, fingers twisting the bed sheets.

Then he looks up suddenly like he’s about to say something so Louis cuts him off, unable to deal with the emotions he’s feeling. “Let’s not think about that now, yeah? I’ve still got a little time left to live the Riptide dream. Don't pop the bubble yet.” Louis tries to make his voice sound light but he’s not sure it worked. He just hopes that Harry will let it go for now because he is feeling far too fragile for his liking and Harry has already seen more than enough of that from him already.

For one brief moment it looks like Harry will press the topic further but then he seems to relax, his eyes lighting up and a smile returning to his face as he glances at the clock on the nightstand and says, “I’ve got five minutes before I need to get in the shower. That’s enough time to make you come.” His hand is on Louis’ cock before he's done talking. Louis sighs in relief, and then in pleasure as Harry takes him down his throat.

By ten o’clock that morning, Louis has eaten two breakfasts, one at Harry’s and one via room service in his suite. It's not his fault that the Riptide kitchens are magical. Besides, Liam and James wouldn't want him to go hungry, would they? He's about to embark on a third episode of Scandal when he receives a phone call from Niall demanding that they hang out as much as possible in the few days Louis has left. Less than an hour later, he’s shooting hoops with Niall while they wait for an opening at the go-cart track.

“You do realize that although you’ll be leaving the country in a few days, you won’t be getting rid of the Nialler, right?”

Louis laughs. Only Niall could talk about himself in the third person and still sound charming while doing it.

“I’m serious. We’re like blood brothers now. Bound together for life. If you don’t call me within a week of leaving here, I’ll come find you. Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir.” Louis says with a salute.

“Fine. You think I’m joking but I’ll prove you wrong. I might seem like a bit of a slut but I assure you, when I mate it’s for life. Same goes for my friends.”

Louis catches Niall’s rebound and shoots the ball through the hoop. Turning back to face Niall, he says, “Good. I’ll hold you to that. On both counts, because I think you’ve already found your future wife and you’re just too stubborn to admit it." Louis is referring, of course, to Sandy, the lovely server from Rowdy's.

Niall grins at that, “Maybe so.”

“There’s no maybe about it.”

Niall stops dribbling and hugs the ball to his middle. “Ah, but is the feeling mutual? After all, she’s seen me take plenty of girls home so I don’t know if she realizes she’s different. Or would believe me if I told her.”

“You’ll never find out if you don’t tell her.”

“All in due time. Besides, not sure I should take advice from someone who doesn’t even take his own,” Niall says, gripping the ball just right as his body lines up to take his shot.

“It’s different.”

“No, it’s the same.” Niall sends a perfect shot right into the center of the hoop.

Louis shakes his head. Grabbing the ball, he takes a quick shot but misses. “It was always going to be temporary, nothing more and nothing less. And you said it yourself, he’s a butterfly flitting from one place to another. He’ll be off on a new adventure by the Fall and I’ll be in London raising children.”

“Louis—“

Before Niall can argue any further, Louis’ phone interrupts them. Louis pulls the device out of his pocket, glancing at the screen. “Speak of the devils,” he says smiling at Niall.

“Yes, my lovely sister,” Louis answers the phone, making a face at Niall for budding into his and Harry’s business.

It takes about three words out of Lauren’s mouth for Louis to know something is horribly wrong. “What is it, Lauren? Just say it.” Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Niall stop dribbling the ball. And as Lauren tells him about Lizzie, his knees give way and he finds himself planted on the hard pavement of the basketball court, Niall running to him, the ball skittering off down the court. “Jesus. Where is she?” His voice is shaking, just the same as the hand that’s holding the phone to his ear. “Tell her I’m coming. I’ll take the first flight I can.” Niall is kneeling next to him, squeezing his shoulder lightly. “I’ll be there soon as I can. I’ll call you when I know my flight details and you call me if her condition changes. At all.”

He ends the call, letting the phone fall from his grip onto his lap, clutching his stomach. “I might be sick.”

“Just breathe, okay?” Niall puts an arm around him, changing positions from kneeling to sitting on his bum.

After a few moments wherein Louis tries to keep himself from hurling both breakfasts all over Niall, he is able to calm himself enough to explain what happened. “My sister Lizzie, she tried to kill herself. She’s at hospital. Took a bunch of pain killers, I guess. Don’t know where she got ‘em. Lauren said she doesn’t want to see anyone except me. She won’t tell anyone why she did it.”

“But she’ll be okay, right?”

“Yeah, I think so. They’re still watching her closely because apparently she did a number on herself and with her not talking to anyone, they won’t release her anytime soon just based on her mental health.” Louis takes a deep breath, eyes meeting Niall’s. “Guess this is it then. I need to catch a flight, call Liam, check out of here…” Louis stands up rather shakily.

“Lou, let me help. You can’t drive all the way back to Minneapolis like this. I’ll drive you. I’ll catch a ride back from a friend or I’ll just get a rental, no biggie.”

“You don’t have to do that.” The two start the walk back to the main building, cutting across the grass to get to the walking path that leads there.

“I insist. Don’t have anything else to do today anyway. Was planning on spending the day with you, remember?”

“I gotta call Liam, call the airline…Shit.” Louis halts in his tracks. “I’ll have to stop down at the spa as well.” Louis looks at Niall who has stopped next to him.

“Do you want me to go get him? Send him up to your room?”

“No. I can’t—I think it would be best if I just stop down on my way out.” Louis isn’t ready for this. He thought he’d have more time with Harry. Not that time would help much. It would still be painful to leave Harry. Maybe it’s better this way, to be forced to make it short and sweet, not belabor and potentially embarrass himself with some sort of pathetic, emotional goodbye. “Yeah, I’ll just stop down and see him between clients.”

“Louis.” Niall sounds upset. He’s Harry’s best mate. Louis is glad that Harry has a friend like Niall to look out for him.

“It’ll be fine. He’ll be fine.” Louis reassures him.

“Will you?”

“Yes. I’ll be--I’ll be alright.” He has to be alright. He’s got people counting on him back home. He’s got a sister who’s a bigger emotional mess than he is apparently so he’s got to be strong for her sake as well as the others’. So while he had been dreading having to leave this place, and especially Harry, he can’t let it consume him right now. He has to focus on Lizzie because she needs him. There’s no way he can lose anyone else he loves. Just, _no_.

They get up to his suite and he calls Liam while searching for flights on his laptop. Niall helps by packing his things into his luggage. At some point he hears Niall on the phone and can tell he called down to the spa to find out what Harry’s schedule was like. He must have called Zayn as well because Zayn shows up just as Louis is finalizing his flight arrangements, requesting the confirmations be sent to his phone.

“Hey, Louis. Niall said you had to leave unexpectedly so I offered to help carry your luggage to your car.”

“Oh, thanks man. Yeah, family emergency, I need to get back straight away. It was great getting to know you. Take care of Liam, alright?”

“Of course. But he’ll be heading your way in less than a week, so.”

“Yeah, ‘s’true. Well, guess I should go…”

“Right. Um, Zayn and I will take your things to the car. You head down to the spa. I called down and they said he's just wrapping up with someone now so it’s a good time.”

“Okay, great.” Louis swallows audibly. There’s nothing great about this. And he never thought there would come a time when he wouldn’t want to see Harry but here it is. A part of him, a big part of him, just wants to walk down to his car with Zayn and Niall and not look back. Just save himself the bloody pain of having to see that lovely man only to walk away for good. How do you say goodbye to someone you care about so much that it fucking hurts? But that’s just life though, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter if it hurts, it doesn’t matter if it feels like vital organs are being ripped from his body, leaving him feeling like nothing more than an empty shell. It doesn’t matter, because it just _is_. So he finds himself walking down to the spa one last time. It’s not lost on him that they’ll be saying goodbye in the same place they met.

When he pushes through the stain glass door of the spa, he is surprised to see Harry just inside, talking to Allie the hostess, facing away from Louis. At the sound of the door, the green-eyed angel turns around, those eyes going wide in surprise, a dimpled smile appearing almost immediately.

“Lou!” There’s so much excitement in his voice. And it’s only been a few hours since they saw each other last. The knots in Louis’ stomach get ten times tighter.

“Hey, Haz. Um, can we talk privately for a minute?” Louis glances at Allie, giving her an apologetic smile.

Harry hesitates for only a second, his smile getting smaller. “Of course. I’ve got a little time before my next client so your timing is perfect.”

Louis says nothing, just smiles nervously and follows Harry when he waves him into one of the treatment rooms. Harry is wearing a spa uniform, fuschia scrub pants with a matching form-fitting tee. His hair is up in a bun and he looks so adorable Louis has both of his hands in tight fists to keep from reaching for him. He knows touching Harry right now would be a mistake. Not touching him is the only way he can ensure he walks out of here without looking like a pathetic mess who fell for someone he could never have.

Harry lets him in the room first and then closes the door behind them, a look a concern in his eyes as he steps closer to Louis. “What’s going on?”

Louis runs a finger across the sheet on the massage bed next to him, keeping a small but necessary distance between himself and Harry. He wishes he could just push a button and rewind, make it like the first time he was in this room with Harry (without the tears, of course). But he can’t so he just spits it out, blue eyes meeting green, suppressing all emotion as he does so. “I’m leaving for London tonight. My sister tried to kill herself. She's in hospital and she’s asking for me. I need to be there for her, for all of them.”

“Oh my God, Louis. Is she going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. I mean, physically at least." Inhaling deeply and straightening his spine as though there's a steel rod holding him up, he goes on, "So anyway, Niall is actually going to drive me to Minneapolis. He’s out in the carpark right now, waiting for me.”

“Oh.” Harry looks so sad and that’s not helping Louis keep his emotions at bay. “I’d take you myself—“

“No, it’s fine.” Louis says in a rush, cutting Harry off. He needs to just end this now, not drag it out any longer. It won’t do any good. “Niall’s off today and he thinks he can get a ride back from someone so it’s all good.”

Harry is quiet, arms wrapped around himself like he’s cold or something.

Louis can’t take the silence. “So thanks for….everything. It’s been, um, really fun.” He tries to keep his voice light and forces a smile. Louis is sure that his finger nails have broken the skin on his palm, his hand still clutched tightly in a fist at his side while his other hand is gripping the bed, the only thing keeping his knees from giving out.

Harry’s eyebrows shoot up briefly. “Fun, yeah.” He nods slowly, hugging himself even tighter. But then suddenly he’s reaching out toward Louis, taking a step closer. “Lou, I wish we had—“

Louis sidesteps over to the sink, filling a glass of water as an excuse to keep some physical distance between himself and the man that so easily took up residence in his heart. “It’s too bad I have to leave so soon but it’s really only a few days early, right? God, and you’re going to be off to an entirely different country soon so that’s exciting, yeah? You’ll do great, wherever you end up, I’m sure of that.”  

Harry’s hands are back at his sides and he’s looking at Louis strangely, probably thinking how pathetic Louis is. His mouth is open like he is about to say something but nothing comes out and then he shuts it again, swallowing thickly.

“I really should be heading out. I have barely enough time to make my flight.” Louis doesn’t want Harry to know how hard it is to say goodbye to him but he also doesn’t want Harry to think this meant nothing to him at all. So, he goes in for a quick hug.

Harry wraps his arms around Louis tightly and for a brief second or two Louis sinks into it, savoring it. It takes all of his strength to let go and push himself away. He inhales sharply as he looks up at Harry, their faces only inches apart. “They need me, I have to go.” He tells it more to himself than to Harry.

Harry nods, whispering, “Yeah.”

“Let me know where you end up next. I’m only a caterpillar, remember? I have to live vicariously through the butterfly.” This time his smile isn’t forced. He only wants the best for Harry, whatever that is.

He turns to go, his hand gripping the doorknob like it’s a lifeline, when Harry calls out, “Louis.” He stops in his tracks, turning back to face Harry.

“Yeah?”

“I know they need you right now but please promise me something.”

Louis nods, waiting for Harry to go on.

“Promise me you’ll think about what makes you happy, do something for you for a change. If they love you, and I’m sure that they do, they’ll want you to be happy too.”

Louis is not going to cry. He bites down hard on his lip to keep himself in check. “I promise.” Louis won’t say goodbye and he hopes Harry doesn’t say it either. He reaches for the door again.  

“Take care of yourself.”

“You too, Harry.” He turns away, and walks out of the room, not looking back to see if Harry follows him. Rounding the first corner in the hallway, he bends over with his hands on his knees, gasping for breath. There’s a massive emptiness inside him, his belly is sick with it. The only thing that keeps him from sinking to the ground is the knowledge that, if he let that happen, he’d probably lose himself completely. So it’s the fear of losing what little control he has left that pushes him forward. Walking out to the carpark where Niall is waiting for him, he focuses on steadying his breaths, trying to regain some measure of focus. It is what it is. He can do this. He has to.

At the airport he calls Lauren once more before boarding his flight. She tells him there’s been no change, Lizzie is recovering physically but still refuses to talk to anyone but him. He buys some sleeping pills so he can sleep away most of his flight. He knows if he’s awake he’ll just fret about Lizzie, or think about the finality of selling his mum’s house. Or wonder what it would be like to stay in Minnesota with a green-eyed angel. And he just….can’t.

Arriving in London just after seven in the morning, Louis takes a cab straight to hospital to see Lizzie. A young woman behind an information desk directs him to Lizzie’s room. He isn’t sure what to expect when he turns the corner into her room but the sight that greets him is quite serene, actually. Lizzie is sleeping on a narrow bed. She looks younger than when he saw her last, probably because she’s in a hospital robe that looks rather childish. Creeping into the room as soundlessly as possible, he slides into a wooden chair next to her bed. Even though he slept for a long while on the plane, he still feels exhausted so he closes his eyes and wakes up sometime later when he hears Lizzie moving underneath thick sheets.

Louis sits up in the uncomfortably hard chair just as Lizzie opens her eyes. He watches as she blinks a few times and then focuses her eyes on him, her eyes filling up with tears instantly. Leaning forward and taking her hand in his, he whispers soothingly, “Shhh, love. You’ll be okay. I’m here for good now, okay?”

It takes a few minutes for her tears to stop. Louis hands her a tissue from the box that’s conveniently located on the bedside tray. It takes a few long minutes before Lizzie can get herself together enough to speak. When she does, it nearly breaks Louis’ heart.

“I want mum back.”

“I know, babe. But it’s going to be okay, you’ll see.”

“She always knew just what to say to make things better. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Lou. How will I ever know?”

“We can figure it out. Think of all the things she taught us. We still have each other, and that’s more than a lot of people have. I mean, hell, there’s the whole lot of us.”

Lizzie is quiet for a minute, wiping her eyes with a tissue. “I came home and found Nick with another girl…in my room!”

“Oh baby girl, I’m so sorry. He’s a massive dickhead. I’ll gladly beat the shit out of him for you.”

“I was such a fool. I fell for all the stupid things he said. ‘Oh Elizabeth, you’re so beautiful. I’ve never felt like this before. You mean everything to me, I love you so much.’ What a load of shit.”

“You are beautiful, and there’ll be plenty of opportunity for you to meet someone who actually deserves you. Nick is a stupid twat and you’re far better off now he’s gone.”

“If there’s so many great guys out there, why haven’t you found one?”

Louis gives her a small smile. “Think I’ve been focused on the wrong things. Only just realized how much I’ve been missing. And you know what? It’s not too late for me so I _know_ it’s not too late for you. We’re both going to find our way. We’ll make mum proud.”

Lizzie smiles for the first time since he arrived. “I’ve missed you so much, Lou. You’re the best brother ever. You know that?”

“’Course I know that.” Louis says with a wink. “But before we get off on the ever-popular tangent of how amazing I am, we need to talk about how finding out your boyfriend was cheating led you here.” Louis points at the ugly gray tile floor of the hospital room. “I want to understand what you were thinking, love.”  

Lizzie looks down at her lap, picking at the frayed edges of her hospital gown. “It wasn’t just that. It was a lot of things that all added up. I had a hard time adjusting to living on my own. I didn’t tell anyone but I just felt…I don’t know. Lonely, I guess. And anxious all the time. And then mum got sick not long after and things really got bad. I felt out of control. I've had terrible thoughts running through my head for a while now. Like I wasn’t good enough no matter what I did, ya know?” Lizzie looks up for the first time, eyes fixing on Louis’.

“You could have called me. You know that.”

“You were so busy with your job and helping mum. I didn’t want to be another problem for you or for Lauren either. I thought I could handle it. And Nick came along at the right time. With him, I started feeling like I was okay. He made me feel good about myself and I just started pouring all of my attention on to him and ignored everything else.”

“Easy to do.”

Lizzie’s eyes bore into him, a question on the tip of her tongue. When she starts to verbalize it, Louis cuts her off. “I did the same sort of thing. Just dove deeper into my work to distract me more and more as things got worse with mum. And even after, I let work just take over. It helped me get through. Well, sort of. It wasn’t the right thing to do. I guess you and I both probably learned a lesson there, yeah?”

A small smile put a little color back into Lizzie’s cheeks. “Yeah, we’ve always been alike in so many ways.”

“Yep, both certifiably insane.” Louis shrugs, then slaps Lizzie’s arm playfully.    

Louis spends a few more hours with Lizzie, only breaking when she has to meet with a psychologist (now that she’s willing to talk and Louis has encouraged her to do so). The appointment goes well and the psychologist tells them she’ll be recommending Lizzie for release as long as she agrees to an outpatient treatment plan for depression and anxiety. They recommend she stay one more night due to dehydration and other minor complications from the drugs that were still in her system. Louis is immensely relieved after seeing her smile and laugh a few times this afternoon so he feels alright heading “home” for the night.

Since Sophia moved out of the flat they shared, Liam’s place is vacant for the time being so that’s where Louis decides to sleep for the night. He lets himself in with the spare key he’s had for ages, unpacks the two bags of groceries and case of beer he picked up at the corner store and then heads into the bathroom to sort out some of his toiletries. Once that’s squared away, he changes into a pair of joggers and a loose t-shirt and prepares to veg out on the sofa, cracking open a can of beer.

As he settles into the soft cushions, his mind trails back over the last twenty-four hours. He’s been so busy since his plane touched down he hasn’t had a moment to think until now. For the most part though, he’s grateful for the distraction. There are some things he’d rather not think about. He’s glad Lizzie seems to be doing alright and he spoke with Lauren and made plans to meet up with her in the morning for breakfast. He doesn’t want to think about the moving arrangements he’ll need to sort out over the next few days and he definitely doesn’t want to think about the hollow feeling he’s had in his gut since walking out of certain spa the day before. One thing at a time. Right now it’s beer and mind-numbing telly.

And apparently whoever is texting him right now. He reaches behind him to the sofa table and picks up his phone. It’s a text from Niall: _Hey, Lou. Hope your flight was good and everything’s going well with your family. Just wanted you to know I’m thinking about you. Take care.x._

He texts a quick reply, letting the blond charmer know he landed safely and that Lizzie will be alright, then thanks him again for driving him to the airport. Turning off his phone, he swigs down the rest of his beer, settling into the sofa again. He falls asleep with the telly on, waking up a couple hours later and then sleeps fitfully the rest of the night. Guess Liam’s sofa isn’t nearly as comfortable as the cushy mattress he had in his Riptide suite.


	20. Chapter 20

Lauren pulls Louis into a massive hug as she greets him at the restaurant for brunch.

“You look tired, Lou. Didn’t get much sleep?” She pulls away, examining his face.

“A bit jet lagged, I suppose.” He brushes her concern off. “How are you?”

“Just fine. Happy to see you. It’s been ages, it feels like, though I guess it hasn’t actually been that long since mum’s funeral.” They both move to take the two seats at their table.

“Yeah, I know. Feels like yesterday and a hundred years ago at the same time.” Louis gives her a small smile.

A server comes and takes their drink orders. When he leaves, they talk about Lizzie. Lauren tells him that she wants to suggest to Lizzie that she transfers to a more local college so she can be closer to the family.

Louis explodes at that. “No, absolutely not! She needs her independence. Don’t take that away from her just so you can feel better.”

Lauren looks affronted. Her eyes getting wide, eyebrows jagged. “What the hell, Louis? I just want to make sure she’s okay and it’s hard to do that when I can only see her a couple of times a month. She obviously needs a little supervision yet.”

Taking a breath, Louis attempts to calm himself. “Look, I’m sorry for jumping down your throat. I just think she’s gone through a rough time and, obviously, she didn’t deal with it too well. But that doesn’t mean she can’t learn from this. I really think she’ll be okay and I would just hate for her to sacrifice her independence because of one mistake. We can be around to help her if she needs it but I want her to find her own way.”

Lauren reaches for his hand, giving it a squeeze. “You’re right. I’m just scared of losing her too but I can’t let that fear control me.” Lauren smiles then, her eyes going all warm. “You’re the best brother in the world. You’ve always been there for us. Thank you.”

Shaking his head, “Stop it. So what are the other monsters up to today?”

Lauren’s eyes narrow, and for a minute Louis thinks she won’t let him change the subject but then she does. “Delia and Dixie are at a friend’s house today. The two tykes are with Johnny’s mum.

“Will they be around tonight? I could come by around dinner time.”

“Yeah, they’ll be home by then. And they’ll be thrilled to see you.”

“I miss them too.”

Their drinks arrive and they put in their food order. Lauren asks Louis about the law firm and how he’s planning to transition back to the London office. Louis doesn’t have much to tell her since he hasn’t actually given it much thought yet, especially considering he isn’t due back to work for at least a couple of weeks yet. There are still big hurdles to jump before he can even begin to ponder what that will entail and he’s fine with procrastinating on that for a while longer.

They chat easily, Lauren catching him up on how the kids’ schedules will be changing when they go back to school next month. The kids are busy with activities and there are a lot of details to keep track of – gymnastics class for Delia, dance class for Dixie, swimming and footie practice for Olivia and Oliver. It’s overwhelming just thinking about running them around. But then their food arrives, putting the conversation on hold for a bit. Until the plate of steaming hot mango French toast was placed in front of him, Louis didn’t realize how hungry he was. He has to admit, if only to himself, that it makes sense though. With all that went on the last day and a half, he hasn’t exactly had much of an appetite. He proceeds to stuff his face until every last bit is cleaned off his plate, only looking up at Lauren when he finishes.

She’s got the Tomlinson smirk on her face. “Hungry much?”

“I’m a growing boy, what do you expect?”

She scoffs. “You wish, little one.”

“You’re so mean. Just because I’m not a ridiculously, oversized amazon like you…” There’s a napkin thrown in his face and he laughs. Louis has always loved his siblings and joking around with them is his favorite thing to do. No matter how miserable he may be about other things in his life, he does have them and that’s a lot, he thinks. His laugh gets a little louder when Lauren dips her fingertips in her drink and flicks it all over his face. Of course, she’s asked for it now. _Payback is a bitch_ , Louis smirks, as he reaches for the small cup of maple syrup he’d passed on earlier.  

Lizzie is released from the hospital later that day and Louis takes her out for a late lunch before they head over to Lauren and Johnny’s house to see the kids. When they arrive, Louis is attacked by four children, all at once. They end up in a heaping pile of giggles on the living room floor. From there it’s just a lot of running about, tickling and teasing, and cuddling. Lizzie’s still exhausted, her body still recovering from what she put it through, so she retires early to her room. Louis ends up putting the other four to bed at around nine o’clock and then chats with Lauren and Johnny for a bit before driving back to Liam’s place for the night. He sleeps more soundly than the night before, even though the sofa is shite. And the last thing he thinks about as he drifts off to sleep is a mess of curly hair spilled out across cream colored bed sheets.

\---------

Louis has been in London for five days now and he swears each day is busier than the last. The kids have busy schedules and it’s been a chore in and of itself just getting acclimated to it all. He wouldn’t begrudge them a thing though. He’s nothing if not solely dedicated to making sure their childhood is as carefree and fun as possible. The last thing he would ever want for them is to place upon them the sort of responsibility he’s had on his shoulders from such an early age.   No way. It’s why he’s here and why it’s so obvious to him that he needs to do this.

But as clear as that is to him, it is decidedly unclear exactly how he can handle all of this and hold down a full-time job at the same time. Every time he thinks about the law firm, which he still has yet to set foot in since he’s been back in London, he has to quickly push the thought aside in order to quell the distinct unease he feels at just the thought of going back to that life. The kids’ hectic schedules aside, there’s just so much about it that doesn’t seem to fit anymore. If it ever really did.

Uncertainty has never been a _thing_ for Louis. He’s always been quick to make a decision and then fully committed and determined to doing whatever it takes to make it happen. There’s just been so much change in his life in such a short period of time and it’s changed him in ways he knows he hasn’t even fully realized yet. He feels like he’s just drifting right now. Like he’s in a raft in the middle of the ocean, floating in whatever direction the wind and the waves will take him, with no anchor to keep him steady. During his time at the Riptide, he was starting to feel steady in a way he hadn’t in a long time, like there was something grounding him, holding him and making him feel secure. But now he’s back in London with his family, having to navigate this life without his mum there to guide them. The pressure to keep things afloat weighing on him.

And while there are clearly things he has yet to figure out, some things have become quite clear. Louis has amazing friends. In between running the kids from one activity to the next, fixing meals and playing footie in the back yard, Louis has talked to Niall and Liam almost constantly. Niall has sent him dozens of pictures ranging from the food he’s stolen from the Riptide kitchens to bruises and scrapes he’s incurred as a result of various hijinks he’s been up to on and off the grounds of the resort. He’s also sent him a couple of sad selfies with comments like “missing my partner in crime” and “wish you were here so I could slap that big bum of yours.” Louis really does love that boy and is so thankful to have met him, thankful for the laughter he infuses into each and every day. And then there’s Liam who calls him at least twice a day and is ever so supportive of him. They’ve talked endlessly about his last couple of dates with Zayn. Louis is happy for Liam, who seems over the moon for the dark-haired boy. And God, even Zayn sent Louis a voice message using Liam’s phone once. “ _Hey, Louis. Hope you and your family are doing well. Just wanted to say hi and tell you I’m taking care of Li for you. He misses you a lot but I keep reminding him he’ll be leaving to see you soon, so. Okay, guess I should get going. Take care, man_.”

It’s nice hearing from all of them. Nice knowing that he can count on them to lighten his mood or just share a little piece of their lives with him, or vice-versa. He’s lucky to have them in his life and he makes sure they know it. He can’t offer much but he at least tries to make them laugh a bit too. He knows he’s good for that if not much else. Sending them snarky texts or pictures of the kids making bras and panties for their Barbies out of playdough and gummy worms is a good distraction from things Louis isn’t sure he is otherwise ready to face.

Like the fact Louis hasn’t heard from Harry once since he walked out of the Riptide spa.

Or that “moving day” is right around the corner and it’s inevitable and completely unavoidable that he’ll have to step inside his mum’s house again and be reminded in the most real way possible of just how empty his life is without her. Much as he’d like to push it off a bit longer, all of the arrangements have been made and he’ll need to pack everything up the day after tomorrow. He’s successfully avoided his mum’s house since arriving back in London. Hasn't wanted to think about it, with the exception of finalizing the arrangements with the movers and discussing logistics with Lauren, Johnny and Liam. The one good thing about moving day, Louis thinks, is that it’s so imminent that it makes it all that much easier to avoid thinking about Harry. Or, at least to think about him less.  

Liam is arriving home later tonight and Louis is beyond thankful his friend will be there to help him get through this. Laughing and screwing around with his siblings over the last few days has been great but it hasn’t been enough to fill the cavernous hole inside him that’s got him feeling hollow and unsettled. A cuddle with Liam will help, he thinks, even if it won’t make it go away completely.

Ever since he left Minneapolis, there’s been this nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach, like he left something important behind. Louis is aware that he is depressed; he’s had more time to take notice of this than he’d like, as he lies in bed alone each night. He knows it’s not just about missing his mum anymore. He might be a fan of denial but even he knows how futile it can be. In the dark quiet of the night, with no one but himself to witness it, he can admit why his stomach flutters when he sees his phone light up on the nightstand next to him. And why he feels a wave of sadness creep over him every time he picks it up and sees a name other than Harry’s illuminating the screen. He can admit that the heaviness in his chest, the burning pang of loneliness he feels is because he’s missing more than just his mum.

After getting a glimpse of how beautiful life can be waking up beside someone as precious and as effortlessly endearing as Harry, well, it makes it all the harder to wake up alone. He misses the way it felt when there were two long muscled arms holding him, making him feel special and cared for. And he’s practically going through withdrawals from how badly he misses the flash of dimple and green-eyed glint he’d receive every time he made Harry laugh. And, most of all, he misses the jolt of life and light he felt just by being next to the man. So, yes, Louis is aware that Harry is the reason his heart is hurting right now but that doesn’t mean he’s going to let himself dwell on it.

Having just arrived home for the evening after dropping Ernie and Olivia back at Lauren’s after their footie practice, Louis eats a late dinner in front of the telly. When his phone buzzes his stomach does that flip thing for the millionth time and he practically yells at himself to just _shut the fuck up already_ before picking it up and seeing that, nope, it’s still not Harry. It’s Niall. Probably like the fourteenth text from Niall today, actually. He rolls his eyes but still manages a small smile, tapping the screen to open up the full message: _Hey, mate. Probably shouldn’t b doing this but I feel compelled 2 tell u that H asks about u almost every day. Hope u don’t mind I’ve been passing on things you’ve told me. Don’t know if you’ve talked but thot u should know he’s missing u. Too._

And that’s. That’s a lot for Louis to take right now. He’s too tired (Liam’s fucking sofa sucks, okay) and he was far too emotional _before_ reading that. But, damnit, he was holding it together. And now, just like that, after only a few words in a text message, his face starts to crumble and, clutching the phone to his chest, he curls up in a ball on the sofa and lets out all the tears he had been holding in so valiantly up ‘til now. It’s nice to know that Harry misses him but it’s almost worse to know that and also know that he hasn’t even tried to contact him. Like getting second-hand information from Niall is enough to satisfy his minor curiosity. Louis cries himself to sleep.

Sometime late into the night, he awakens to the sound of Liam letting himself into the flat. He sits up slowly just as Liam walks into the living room, the light from the telly still on from earlier, illuminating the room.

“Hey,” Liam greets him cheerily.

“Hey.” Louis’ voice is noticeably rough from sleep.

“Sounds like I woke you.” Liam gives him a once over. “You sleep fully clothed these days?”

Louis looks down at wrinkled clothes and combs his fingers in his hair which is surely sticking up all over the place. “Fell asleep watching telly.”

Liam looks at the pizza sitting out on the coffee table. “I could really go for a slice of pizza right now but that looks like it’s been there for ages. Gross, Lou.”

Liam starts padding around the flat, putting things away. Yawning, he stops back in front of Louis who hasn’t moved more than a couple of inches since he woke up. “It’s late and that flight was awful. Wasn’t able to sleep much due to there being an entire daycare’s worth of babies and toddlers on the plane. Fucking nightmare, really. Gonna go crash.” He starts walking towards his bedroom.

“Li, wait!”

Liam almost startles at the urgency in Louis’ voice. His head whips around so fast he probably pulled a muscle in his neck.

Much quieter this time Louis asks, “Can I sleep with you?”

Liam looks him over again, this time carefully taking stock of the disheveled man before him. “Of course. You okay, Lou?”

Louis shakes his head. “I’ll get there though. Just could really use a cuddle.”

Liam pulls him up off the sofa and pulls him into a bear hug. Louis squeezes him back tightly. Then Liam drags him into the bedroom where they strip down into t-shirts and boxers and crawl into bed, Liam wrapping his arms around Louis snuggly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. Just want to sleep.” Louis squeezes Liam back.

“Okay, that’s fine, but you’ve got to talk to me in the morning.”

Strict Liam always makes Louis feel better, the familiarity like a warm blanket covering him. “Yeah, okay.” Louis burrows further into Liam’s chest. “Missed you.”

“Missed you too.” Liam squeezes him tighter. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

Louis stays quiet, his hand clutching Liam’s bicep briefly in response.

The morning light invades the room far too early and Louis finds himself wide awake. He slips out of bed, draws the blinds shut so Liam can sleep a little longer and heads out to the kitchen to make some tea. He winds up stalking Harry’s social media accounts on his phone while he waits for Liam to wake. He’s pathetic and he knows it but he just wants to feel closer to him and he’s stared at the three pictures of Harry he has on his phone far too many times already.

Liam shows up eventually, looking much like Louis probably looked the night before after waking up on the sofa. He rubs at his eyes. “Got a cup for me?”

He does. He pours Liam some tea and joins him at the kitchen table.

“How is Zayn? Did you guys have a tearful goodbye?”

Liam smiles dopily. “No, but we may have been late to the airport because we got a little distracted.”

“Nice. So are you an expert at giving blowies now?”

“You’re such a menace.” Liam is fucking giggling though so Louis knows he doesn’t mind this line of questioning.

“Oh come on! You never had a problem sharing your sexual escapades with me when they involved women. Don’t see why it should be any different now. In fact, _now_ it’s actually interesting.”

Liam shakes his head. “You little shit. Alright, I’ll make a deal with you.”

“Oh fuck. Here it is. This is where you promise to give me the Ziam exclusive _after_ I tell you why I was such a pitiful mess last night.”

“Oh babe, you know me so well.”

“Unfortunately, yes.” Louis rolls his eyes in faux disgust.

Liam shakes his head, laughing. “Ziam?”

“Well, it’s a big step up from Sophiam, yeah?”

Liam crooks an eyebrow at him over his tea cup. Glancing around the room, Liam remarks on how weird his flat is now that Sophia’s things are all gone. The two men discuss options for rearranging the furniture so it doesn’t look so sparse. Since Liam will be returning to the States shortly, he isn’t interested in investing in home décor at the moment.

When there’s a lull in the conversation Liam looks at him expectantly, eyebrows pushed up high.

Louis blows out a big sigh, looking down at his hands which have apparently embarked on a mission to destroy an innocent paper napkin. “It’s really not that original, Liam James. I’m a man who is clearly still a boy, missing his mum way too much, completely freaking out over having to go into her house and pack up her things, you know – thereby, making it all too fucking real that she’s gone. And I might have come to the conclusion that I really can’t go back to work at the firm.” At that, Louis makes direct eye contact with Liam, unsure how his best mate will react to that. He takes another breath before continuing on. “And, lastly, I haven’t talked to Harry since I left him at the Riptide and I’m coming to realize that our little fling was much more than that, for me anyways.”

Liam takes the salt and pepper shakers from Louis and puts them out of his reach. He then leans across the table and cups Louis’ face in both hands. “You are my best friend in this whole world and I love you so fucking much so I want you to listen to me very carefully. You’re grieving the loss of your mum who was an amazing woman. She loved you as much as you love her. What you’re feeling isn’t childish. It’s, in fact, completely normal and totally understandable. And I, along with your siblings, will be there to help you decide what to do with her things. You’re not alone in that, okay? We’ll talk about the firm in a bit because I’d rather talk about Harry.” Liam smirks at him. “He’s cuter.” Liam lets go of Louis’ cheeks finally and sits back in his chair. Louis does the same. “Have you tried to call Harry since you got back here?”

“Nope,” Louis says, letting the ‘p’ pop loudly.

“Why?”

“Because he’s seen enough of my pathetic, sad arse. And because there’s no point to it.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Look, we got on well. We had a great time. But at the end of the day, we’re on very different paths, so. Even if he were looking for something more – _which he isn’t_ \-- it wouldn’t have worked out anyway.”

“Maybe you’re right but you really don’t know that for certain, do you? I mean, call him and tell him how you feel. Let the chips fall where they may. What have you got to lose?”

“My pride. Whatever is left of it these days which isn’t much, but.” Louis shrugs.

The two sit in silence for about fourteen seconds before Louis breaks it with his typical bullshit humor. “So who has given more blowjobs now, you or Zayn? Does he deep throat? Oh God, do you?” Louis acts horrified. Although maybe he doesn't have to act too hard. Thinking of Liam in that way _is_ sort of horrifying.

“Well, your stupid humor is still intact, I see. That’s a good sign at least.”

“Hey, we had a deal. I held up my end, now it’s your turn.”

Liam rolls his eyes. He’s known Louis long enough to know when it’s futile to try to talk sense into him. “It’s pretty equal, actually. He’s better at it than me for sure. But it seems like I’m doing an alright job if the sounds he makes are any indication.”         

Louis bites his lower lip, his face heating up. Yeah, maybe he doesn’t want these details after all. “Is he loud? Does he dirty talk?” Why can’t he just shut himself up? Apparently he likes to torture himself.

“No, he’s not loud. He makes a lot of tiny noises though, and they’re so sexy. And, yeah, he’s got a dirty mouth on him. Oh my fuck, it’s hot.” Louis watches as Liam fans himself with his shirt.

“Okay, I’ve heard enough now, thank you.” Louis fake barfs in his mouth.

“Good. Next time don’t ask if you can’t handle the answer, love.” Liam stands up, collects his and Louis’ mugs and refreshes them with more tea. Sitting back down, he looks at Louis with big brown serious eyes. “Now tell me what you’re thinking about your job.”

Louis grits his teeth, looking at Liam’s puppy dog face and dreading this conversation. “I’m not sure how to explain it exactly. I guess the bottom line is I just feel very differently towards it now. I don’t know, it just…” He links his hands together at the back of his neck and looks up at the ceiling, trying to organize his thoughts. “It just feels wrong to me. “ He looks back at Liam, resting his forearms on the table in front of him. “You know it was never my dream to become a lawyer.”

“Yeah, I know.” Liam nods, patiently waiting for him to continue.

“So much has changed for me in the past few months and I think I started looking at things differently. I mean, I don’t think it was your exact intent, but you and James sent me off to Riptide to give me time to think, right? And I ended up meeting Niall and Zayn and Harry, and fuck, a bunch of their friends and it was this glimpse into a different life, a different perspective on life, I guess. Am I making any sense?”

“Not entirely but keep talking and I’m sure we’ll both get there.” They both laugh.

“Well, I mean, you know Niall works at the high school, right? And all those people at the birthday party last week, pretty much all of them work there as well.”

“And you used to want to be a drama teacher.”

“Yeah.”

“You still do?”

“Yes. Yeah, I do. I mean, I still have to see if it’s even possible. See what the licensing requirements are and all that. You know my undergraduate degree was in education. It was a while ago though so I don’t know if I need to take more classes or what. I started looking into it online but it’s still unclear. I need to make some phone calls, talk to someone.”

“If it’s what you really want I think you should do it.”

“Do you really think that?” Louis feels lighter, a hopeful warmth in his belly.

“Of course I do. I don’t think you get it. The past six months I’ve watched my best friend go through hell and I couldn’t do anything to make it better. If this is something that will make you happier in the long run, then I support it one hundred and fifty percent.”

“Liam. You are the very best. You have no idea what a relief it is to hear you say that.” Louis reaches across the table, taking Liam’s hand in his and giving it a squeeze. “But don’t be too quick to replace me because this might all be nothing more than a pipe dream. I might find out that there’s way too much involved to change careers at this point in my life, not to mention the massive pay cut I’ll have to take. I don’t know that I can really even afford to do this. Especially with the Tomlinson brood to take care of.”

“Well, we’re going to figure it out. And maybe there’s a way you can still do some projects here and there for some of our clients. I mean, unless you truly want to just be done and that’s okay if you do. There’s probably legal consulting opportunities you could do on the side as well. There are lots of options. And you’re still young so starting over in a new career isn’t impossible. If you really want it, I think you can definitely make it work.”

“I love you.”

“I know. You’re going to miss working with me though.”

“I absolutely will. Hey, do you want to become a teacher? We can do it together,” Louis jokes.

“Oh God, that would not work out for me and you know it. I’m better off where I am.”

“Yeah, you’ll have to support your starving artist boyfriend so you should probably keep that high paying job of yours.”

“Hey, he’s talented. Have you seen his work? It’s insane. I think he’ll do just fine.”

“I don’t doubt it. He seems like a resilient guy with a lot of passion and enthusiasm for life. Whatever he ends up doing, he’ll make it work out. It was actually a conversation I had with him early on at the Riptide that made me start to think I could possibly do something different, something that brought more meaning to my life. He told me about how he has been trying different things, searching for the thing that’s right for him. I was impressed by his willingness to take risks, his unwillingness to settle and the way he’s been putting himself out there to try different things. I guess it was a bit inspiring.”

“He is inspiring, that’s for sure.” Liam couldn’t spew any more hearts from his eyes, nose, mouth and ears even if he tried.

Louis flicks Liam in the arm, causing him to yelp. “That fucking hurt, you twat!”

“Well, we were having a serious conversation and your thoughts started drifting into the gutter. Not my fault.”

The two friends spend most of the day together but Liam’s parents know he’s in town and Liam hasn’t seen them for months so he heads off for their house for a late dinner. Of course, Louis is invited as well but he declines the invite, telling Liam he should spend some one-on-one time with them and promises he’ll go along next time. In truth, Louis feels like he needs some alone time just to think things over. Now that he’s spilled everything to Liam, things are feeling that much more real. The prospect of actually changing careers is an actual thing now. Although it’s exciting, there’s still so much he has to figure out in order to determine whether it’s something that’s truly plausible. But, first things first. He’s got to make it through tomorrow. The fucking dreaded moving day (well, it'll take more than one day but Louis figures the first day is likely to be the worst). And with each second that goes by, it’s that much more terrifying. His entire body is filled with anxiety over it. He spends a half hour pacing around Liam’s flat before he realizes what he’s doing and stubbornly parks his arse on the sofa.

Just as his heart rate is starting to normalize, his ringtone startles him. It’s Lauren, ringing him to let him know she’ll meet him at their mum’s house at seven in the morning with espressos and pastries. Says they’ve got to start the day off right with massive amounts of caffeine. It’s a quick phone call but it only serves to freak him out more.

Before he can think it through he finds himself dialing Harry’s number. It just rings for ages and finally puts him into voicemail. Upon hearing Harry’s voice, he freezes. He hangs up, not knowing what to say and feeling like a proper idiot. Sure, Niall says Harry asks about him but it's probably only because he knows Niall has been keeping in touch. It has nothing to do with Harry actually missing him. After all, Harry will be jetting off to a new continent in just a few weeks. He’ll be starting up a new life with new people who are far more interesting than Louis. And, before long, he'll forget Louis even existed in his life. Louis chides himself again for being utterly pathetic.

He’s so keyed up now that he actually goes for a run, trying to wear himself out so he can just go to sleep. After the run is over though, he doesn’t feel much better so he digs through his luggage until he finds the sleeping pills he had bought for his flight over from America and pops a couple down. He’s out like a light in no time, and doesn’t even wake up when Liam gets home a couple of hours later.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. Thanks so much for hanging in there!!! Means the world to me. Also, there's an epilogue coming soon. And yeah, I'm well aware that the word "soon" is a bit tainted in this fandom but I promise. I promise it's coming very soon. Hopefully within the month of September (2018).

It’s arse o’clock in the morning and Louis is cold because his blankets were rudely pulled off of him by a giant dickhead named Liam. Louis curls up in a ball and pulls his pillow over his head.

“Rise and shine, princess. Caffeine and pastries await. Don’t make us late.”

“I hate you.” The pillow is stolen off his head briskly, the light of the room attempting to penetrate tightly shut eyelids.

“You love me. Now get up.”

Pounding his fists into the mattress like a five-year-old in the middle of an Oscar-worthy tantrum, Louis groans loudly for good measure before lifting his head up and cracking one eye open.

“Your unmitigated need to always be prompt is annoying. There are times when it’s good to be late. This is one of them. Very late,” his voice trails off as he moves to settle back into a ball using his hands as a pillow for his head.

“Uh-uh. Not going back to sleep, babe. Get in the shower. We’ve got a lot to do today and it’ll do wonders for your mental health to at least not stink like a rubbish bin while you’re doing it.”

Louis has no further energy for this so he settles on flipping Liam off instead. Then he gets up and grumpily heads off to the shower.

Much of the residual grogginess from the sleeping pills was washed away in the shower but he’s not going to appease Liam by telling him that. Liam drives them to the house, while Louis stares blankly out the window, reading road signs backwards as a way to distract himself from getting too anxious before they’ve even arrived.

The drive isn’t long enough and soon the house is looming in front of him, an instant pang of grief clenching around his heart. Turning off the engine, Liam takes Louis’ hand, giving him a firm squeeze. “You can do this, Lou. It’s going to be alright.”

Louis closes his eyes for a few beats then, looking up at Liam, gives him a forced smile. “Yeah,” is all he says before heading into the house. Lauren hasn’t arrived yet so Louis has to unlock the door to let them in. As he walks inside, he is hit hard with the smell of the place. It’s been almost two months since he was here last and the house smells the same now as it always has, like vanilla and….the best mum in the world. _Oh God._ Louis is not ready for this. Not yet, and probably not ever. He hears Liam step up behind him so he does his best to push his emotions down, knowing it will do no good anyway. She’s gone and nothing is going to bring her back. Life really sucks sometimes and he’s smack-dab in the middle of this particular suckfest. Nothing to do but carry on. It is what it is and all that shit.

“Lauren said she dropped off a shitload of moving boxes. They should be in the kitchen, I think,” Liam tells him, searching Louis’ face.

Before Louis can fully comprehend what he just said, Liam’s phone rings. “Hey, Lauren,” he says as he answers. Liam and Lauren have always gotten on well but it still seems strange to Louis that she chose to call Liam and not him. He even pulls out his own phone just to check the screen for a missed call from her. Nope, it’s blank. He watches Liam’s face as he listens to Lauren, who seems to have a lot to say for so early in the morning. Eventually, Liam hangs up, telling Louis she’ll be along in about twenty minutes.

They pass the time outside, Louis needing a smoke as well as an excuse to get out of the house. Liam joins him and they wait in silence until Lauren pulls up the drive. She shows up empty-fucking-handed though. No pastries. No espresso, no tea, nothing. _What the fuck?_

“Oh shit! Boys, I’m so sorry. We were running so late I totally spaced on the pastries and coffee.”

Liam chirps up, sounding far too cheerful for someone who was robbed of a creamy, caffeinated beverage at arse o’clock in the morning, “It’s okay, love, we’ll just run out and get them. I mean, we sort of have to. I called in the order days ago, so.”

Lauren runs up to Louis, kissing him on the cheek and hugging him. “We’ll be right back.”

Standing frozen at the base of the front steps, Louis watches as they drive off, quickly going out of sight. _What the hell just happened?_ Louis has been outright abandoned at a time when he could really use some fucking company. And what the hell is up with Lauren? She lost her mum too so one would think she’d be a bit more compassionate towards Louis. Shaking his head in utter disbelief, he looks around for a film crew, thinking surely he’s being punked. The neighborhood is dead quiet though, no sign of another living soul. Sometimes he really wonders about his life. Staring up at the house, he mentally kicks himself in the arse and forces himself to go inside and just. fucking. deal.

He creeps around silently, walking through all of the rooms on the main level, his heart heavy, his mind overwhelmed. The house is huge. It had to be with seven kids. Just the amount of stuff in it is daunting in and of itself, but then there’s the fact that most of it is sentimental in one way or another, to at least one sibling or another.

Forcing his shaking legs up the stairs, he comes to the landing where he glances down the hall, seeing the doorways to his, Lizzie’s and his mum’s bedrooms. He inhales deeply then walks into his mum’s room, figuring he might as well get the worst out of the way first. Especially when he can do it without anyone watching. For a long moment he just stands in the center of the room, taking in all of the things that so very clearly represent his lovely mum. The antique jewelry box, given to her by her own mum when she was a young girl, placed on the top of the restored antique dresser, one she restored herself like so many other things around the house. Various pictures of her seven kids displayed on the walls and surfaces throughout the room. Her scent is strongest in here, of course it is. Feeling his legs getting weaker, Louis sinks down onto the bed, a tightness in his chest getting more and more painful by the second.

He feels like he’s drowning. There’s no air and no anchor to keep him from floating away into a dark abyss. It’s survival instinct alone that makes him reach for his phone, dial Harry’s number, trying to grasp onto a lifeline, something real and strong and warm, not just alive but full of light. And again there’s no answer, just endless ringing into a black hole. Maybe Harry really was an angel. Nothing more than a figment of Louis’ imagination and something that’s gone now just as surely as his mum is gone. Tears stream down his face as Louis curls up on the bed, clenching a frilly pillow between his hands.

The doorbell rings three times before Louis realizes what it is. He startles at the third ring, eyes coming in to focus on the crumpled lace peeking between his clenched knuckles. Another second or two goes by and he sits up, wiping the tears from his cheeks and covering his sadness with a shield of numbness. There’s a small bit of comfort in feeling numb. He learned that when he was six years old and his dad walked out of his life. The doorbell rings again, and this time it’s like another switch goes off inside him. Now he’s pissed off because, for fuck’s sake, Lauren has her own key if the door is actually locked. And Louis is quite sure it isn’t because he can’t recall locking it himself when he came back into the house after being abandoned like he was. Wiping the last remnants of tears from his eyelashes, he makes his way down the stairs and toward the front door, grumbling to himself about people who can’t show up at the proper time with the proper caffeinated drinks they promised.

He swings the door wide open, “What the fu---“ It’s like the wind is knocked out of him as he finds himself staring into shimmering green eyes accented with dimples and pale pink lips. “Harry,” he manages to say, the butterflies in his belly flitting around so strong it’s like getting a shot of epi straight in the heart.

“Lou,” the angel says, practically inaudible because there’s so much air pushed out with it. “Sorry to just show up here like this, but I needed to see you.” Looking like he just remembered he was holding something, he hands Louis a Starbucks cup. “And I brought you caffeine because, I mean, it’s way too early.”

Louis has to force his jaw to close. He certainly wasn’t expecting to see Harry here in his mum’s house, and he definitely wouldn’t have expected to see him with dark circles under his eyes and skin that looks several shades paler than it was just a week ago. Even with all that, the man is stunningly beautiful. He takes the cup from Harry, their fingers touching slightly, which sets off dozens of tiny lightning bolts throughout his body. Not trusting himself to speak, Louis opens the door wider and gestures with a hand for Harry to come in.

“It’s a white mocha, thought you could use the extra espresso today.” Louis notices Harry fidgeting with the lid of his own drink, seemingly nervous.

“Thank you,” is all Louis can say. Where his body had turned numb only a minute or two ago, his limbs were now tingling.

The two men stand, mere inches apart, drinking each other in with their eyes.

“It’s so good to see you, Lou. Can we – I know you’re busy but can we talk? Please?” Harry is searching his face, no doubt observing his tear stained cheeks and still-wet eyelashes. Louis almost laughs at the absurdity that is himself, how entirely normal it has become for Harry to see him cry.

“Yeah, ‘course. Um, Liam and Lauren will be here any minute though, so.”

“Actually, they won’t be back until you or I tell them to,” Harry says, facing the floor but looking up through his lashes as he finishes the sentence, looking like he just now realized he sort of hijacked Louis’ day and isn’t sure how the smaller man will feel about that.

“What?” It’s all Louis can say because it’s like his brain has shorted out.

“Yeah, um, I sort of asked them for some time with you.” Harry runs a large hand through his hair, messing it up entirely, one stray curl almost standing straight up like a single horn. _He’s a fucking unicorn now. A mythical creature. Jesus, that’s perfect._ “I have things I need to say and I couldn’t wait, not even a few more hours. Though now I’m here, I feel like an arsehole just showing up like this…” he trails off.

Exhausted and overwhelmed, Louis really doesn’t know what to make of any of this. “This is a very weird day,” he says, rubbing a palm over his face. He’s convinced he’s on an emotional roller coaster and he hasn’t the slightest idea when the next crest or valley, or completely insane twisty-twirly dive is going to happen. He just knows he’s got to find a way to make the ride stop because he can’t take much more. And those butterflies are going to make him throw up. But then he looks up again and he sees those green eyes. And the color is a little dimmer than he’s used to seeing but they’re beautiful just the same. There are a million emotions swirling around in those eyes and Louis doesn’t know if it’s really just his own reflection he’s seeing in them or if Harry is maybe just as messed up as Louis feels. But the longer they continue to gaze at each other, Louis can feel his heart rate start to steady and those butterflies start to settle. Maybe he’s really making shit up now but Harry’s eyes seem to get a little lighter too.

“I know you weren’t expecting me and, God, I’m sorry for being so incredibly selfish. I know this is a big day for you. I promise I won’t take too much of your time.”

“It’s fine, Harry. Don’t apologize. Um, let’s go sit down, yeah?” Louis tips his head in the direction of the living room.

Harry follows as Louis walks into the larger room, sitting on the far end of the brown leather sofa, back against the arm rest. Once he’s seated, Louis gulps down half of his mocha, eyes never leaving Harry as he sits down only a few inches away from him, body turned entirely toward Louis.

“It’s probably not fair of me to come here out of the blue like this. I just – I had to.” Louis watches as Harry visibly tries to collect himself, taking a shaky breath before continuing. “Louis, since you left, I haven’t been able to sleep. Sometimes I feel like I can’t even breathe. To be honest, I think you took my sanity with you because I’m a worthless mess, can barely even drag myself out of bed.”

“Hazza,--”

“Please. I need to get this out.”

Louis sits back again, hands gripping the Starbucks cup tightly. Harry looks like he’s about to cry and that’s not something that sits well with Louis.

“I met you twenty-eight days ago. I keep thinking back to the morning on the day we met. I wasn’t supposed to work that day but Frannie got food poisoning the night before and she called me up asking if I’d take her shift. I said yes right away, my first thought being that I could use the extra money towards my next move. I was getting restless just like I always did, itching to move on to my next big thing.” Harry pauses, shaking his head. “I had no idea how much my life would change and thank God or whatever higher power there is – and I’m positive now there is one – because _I_ was the one that was there that night when you showed up. I mean, maybe we would have met anyway because of Niall, I don’t know. All I do know is that meeting you? It changed me. I started noticing things when we were together. Little changes happening inside me. Like, so many things I thought were innately a part of me weren’t there any longer. Or they were but they were different somehow. Fuck, I’m not sure how to explain this so it makes sense to you.”

“I’m still listening.” Louis smiles, and watches as Harry smiles right back at him. And God, that smile is like a ray of sunlight. Whatever Harry has to say, Louis isn’t even sure that it matters at this moment because all he knows is that the darkness he was feeling a few minutes ago is gone now, replaced by the loveliest, liveliest light. Louis would like to bathe himself in that light for the rest of his life because it makes him feel so unbelievably _strong_.

“Well, you remember when I was telling you about the job offers in Australia and Tahiti?” Louis nods. “Even in that moment, as I was telling you about them, they started to seem dull and tedious. I didn’t understand it at the time because I’ve always loved traveling, always wanted that to be a big part of my life, you know? So I figured it was just those jobs in particular. So I started looking for other ones, even found a few in some pretty amazing places but I still couldn’t be arsed to care about them.

And that whole shitty thing with Alex the twat? I mean, obviously it made my skin crawl because it wasn’t what I wanted, wasn’t consensual. But, here’s the thing. I’ve always loved the variety of sex with different people. Always figured that was just in my bones, yeah? Like there was a certain freedom in it for me. And Alex is swarmy and disgusting and that’s reason enough to not want him to touch me. But do you want to know the biggest reason I didn’t like it?” Harry’s gaze is intense, eye brows straight as arrows, voice deep with conviction. “I didn’t like it because it wasn’t you. You’re the only one who gets to touch me.”

“Harry –“

Holding a finger in the air between them, Harry cuts him off, “I’m not finished.”

Louis laughs, “Okay, well hurry up then.”

Harry places his drink on the coffee table, then takes Louis’ cup and places it there as well. Clasping both of Louis’ hands in his own, he continues. “Lou, when you left the Riptide, you told me you wanted to know where I decided to go next. And that’s what I’m doing right now. I don’t want to flit around from place to place anymore. I don’t want to flit ever again, actually. It’s just not….me anymore.”   Harry squeezes Louis’ hand so gently, rubbing his thumbs over his knuckles like they’re the most precious thing he’s ever touched. “I’ve spent so many years going from place to place, always craving new experiences but it was never enough, just kept moving on to the next thing.”

Louis wants to respond but he’s trying to be considerate, not sure if Harry is done yet. And he’s also sort of transfixed by the tears welling up in Harry’s eyes.

Harry lets out a shaky breath and continues, still holding Louis’ hand. “And then I met you and you’re like this incredible contradiction. You make me feel so many things all at once. It’s like every time I’m with you I’m arriving at a new destination. You’re fascinating and exciting, and I just want to know everything about you, do everything with you. And yet you also feel so familiar and comforting, so steady, like _home_. So _you_ are where I want to go next. Anywhere you are, that’s the only place I want to be.”

Louis inhales sharply, completely overcome with warmth in his chest. He has to bite his lip to keep himself from smiling like a complete fool.

“Please say something.”

Harry’s chin is wrinkling up because he’s valiantly trying to fight off the tears. But just then one spills over, and Louis watches as it streams down his face. He’d be lying if he wasn’t sort of relieved that he’s not the one crying. “Oh, am I allowed to talk now?” Okay, Louis is maybe loving this a little too much but he can’t be blamed for that. Harry Edward Styles wants him. Really fucking wants him.

“Yes! Please.” Harry practically shouts, quickly wiping his cheek dry.

There is no hiding Louis’ emotions right now and there isn’t even a tiny part of him that wants to try. With a mile-wide smile on his face he can barely annunciate adequately, lips stretched so tight. “I’m so in love with you, Har--”

Louis doesn’t even get to finish because Harry launches his entire long and gangly body right on top of him. Their lips meet swiftly, Harry’s tongue invading Louis’ mouth while his hands seek out every delicious curve of Louis’ body. Louis can’t do much but take it, his hands are trapped in between them, palms pressed into Harry’s chest – the feel of the man’s heartbeat breathing life back into him -- fingers digging in to the soft pad of flesh over hard muscle. It doesn’t matter that he can barely breathe with all of Harry’s weight on him. It doesn’t matter that their kiss is quite graceless and rather sloppy. The only thing that matters is that Harry is here with him, holding him like he never plans to let go.

After a few minutes of heated kisses and bodies pressing firmly together, Harry eases up enough that Louis’ hands are free so, of course, he takes the opportunity to run his fingers through those soft, lovely curls that Louis has missed immensely. Louis pulls Harry back to him, kissing him deeply, sucking on his bottom lip before letting off. “Can’t believe you’re here,” he whispers against Harry’s neck.

“Trust me, there was nothing that could keep me away,” Harry replies, trailing off with a laugh. He sits up a bit, his elbow propping up so he can look down at Louis. “I’m pretty sure all our friends think I’m crazy. I owe Niall at least half a dozen apologies. Think he had all he could do not to punch me in the face at how I was acting. And I basically forced Zayn to give me Liam’s number. But, the thing is, even before I called him I knew that I was coming with or without his help.”

Harry’s staring down at Louis, green eyes glinting with determination. Louis has never seen Harry look more beautiful than he does in this moment. And that’s saying a lot because this man is always beautiful. “You can piss them off as much as you’d like if it means you want to be with me.”

The smile Louis gets is so bright he has to close his eyes briefly. Before he can open them again, he’s being kissed all over his face as though he’s got a golden retriever on top of him instead of a long-bodied gorgeous curly-haired boy. Their mutual laughter puts an end to the kissing and when Louis opens his eyes again it’s to see Harry gazing at him whilst tangling long fingers in Louis’ hair. Harry’s smile fades, his eyes fixed on Louis as though he’s looking inside him.

“You’re so perfect, Lou. Love you so much.” Harry smiles again and Louis knows his own lips are a mirror image of Harry’s. Harry sits up, repositioning Louis along with him such that Louis’ calves are draped across his thighs. “Can I please stay and help you guys today?”

“You would do that?”

“I would love to do that. Wanna be here for you.” Harry squeezes Louis’ knee.

Louis’ heart is overflowing with love for Harry. “I actually feel like I can do this now that you’re here.” He thinks back to just minutes before Harry showed up, how he was falling apart in his mum’s bedroom. “I called you earlier because I was a mess, wanted to hear your voice so bad because I felt like everything was crashing down around me.”

“Lou, I’m so sorry I didn’t pick up. I wanted to, but I was on my way here and I wanted to say all this to your face, not over the phone.”

“’S’okay. Better you didn’t see just how pathetic I was.”

Harry pulls Louis up until he’s straddling him, the two at eye level with Louis on his lap. Harry takes Louis’ face in both hands. “You’re the furthest thing from pathetic. To be honest, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. You’re brilliant and loyal and incredibly fun. And absolutely stunning. Just, _perfect_.”

Louis flushes, his eyelashes fanning his cheeks.

“I mean it, Lou. You’ve been through a lot, yeah? But you’ve kept going. You had to be forcibly removed from your job, for fuck’s sake. Because you didn’t give up. And the minute your sisters needed you here, you dropped everything and flew right back to them. You’re not pathetic. You’re amazing.”

This morning Louis woke up to a day filled with dread and a heart full of loneliness. And here he is, only a couple of hours later, with so much love and joy in his heart and so much promise for his future, that he can’t even put it into proper words. Even if he could, it wouldn’t be enough. So he puts all that he’s feeling into kissing Harry, this time being able to wrap his arms around him, feel his heart beating against his own. And for the first time in a long time, he feels like everything is going to be okay. Better than okay. He doesn’t know how he and Harry will make this work, but he knows he’ll give it everything he’s got.

After a while they call Liam and Lauren, letting them know it’s okay for them to come back. But only if they finally provide the pastries they promised earlier. There’s a ton of work to do, a huge house filled with a lifetime’s worth of things so, as much as Louis would like nothing more than to spend the rest of the day reacquainting himself with everything Harry, they have a deadline to meet and it’s going to take a lot to make that happen. All that aside, Liam did say it’d take them fifteen minutes to get there. And Louis is no idiot so he spends the time wisely, his hands sneaking under Harry’s shirt while his lips devour any and all visible patches of skin. It doesn’t seem like Harry minds, especially when he grabs handfuls of Louis’ bum and pulls him against his raging hard-on, only to push him away after a minute in order to avoid coming in his pants two minutes before meeting Louis’ sister for the first time.

It’s something they can laugh about later, the way the two of them look when Lauren and Liam show up, enough pastries in hand to feed the four of them for a week. Louis can tell Lauren is about to make a sarcastic remark, probably rip into him about how unproductive he was while they were gone, but her mouth clamps shut as she looks between the two, her eyes finally landing on Louis.

“Harry, it’s so nice to meet you. I can see that we already owe you a massive thank you for teaching my brother how to smile again.” She’s still staring at Louis, clearly enjoying the blush he’s sporting, made worse by Harry’s inability to keep his hands off Louis, a long arm snaking around his waist.

“It’s me who owes the two of you. Thanks for letting me hijack your morning. I promise I’ll make it up to you by helping in any way I can.” Harry squeezes Louis’ hip, hard enough that he loses balance and has to lean against Harry for support.

Lauren turns to Liam, “You’re right. They’re so cute together it’s kinda gross.”

Liam just laughs as Louis tries to kick both of them but mostly fails because of the death grip Harry’s still got around him. “Babe, you gotta let me go. I’ve got things to do. Pastries to eat, people to kill.”

All in all, the day goes by rather quickly for a twelve-hour day of packing and hauling boxes. Most of all, Louis is overwhelmed by the way Harry so effortlessly made the day much brighter for everyone. For someone who didn’t even know Jay, it was amazing how much he honored her memory in everything he did. The man truly is a gift, and Louis is certain that Lauren now sees it just as much as he does. Before they were even done consuming what can only be described as an embarrassing amount of pastries, Harry had asked enough questions of Louis and Lauren to create an entire system for categorizing the contents of the house and preparing them to be shipped to various locations – trash, charity, storage, each of the siblings. As Harry helped to pack things up, he constantly stopped to admire things – from complimenting Jay’s flare for home décor to asking questions about things he intuitively knew would be great keepsakes for Louis’ siblings. He admired a particular scarf of Jay’s so much that Lauren absolutely insisted he keep it. Beyond all that, Harry was just fantastic at organizing things in a way that made everything work so smoothly. If Louis wasn’t already in love with Harry, he’d certainly have fallen hard today.

By seven o’clock in the evening, they’re a long way from done but the progress they’ve made has them all agreeing to wrap up for the day and resume again in the morning.         

“Harry, you were a huge help today. We couldn’t have gotten this far without you,” Lauren says with a warm smile.

“It was a pleasure, honestly. And I’m here for four more days so I hope you’ll let me help you with the rest.”

Four days. God, with everything they had going on today, Louis hadn’t even gotten to ask him how long he was staying, let alone talk about what they would do after that. “That’s so nice of you but, H, I’m sure your family would love to see you as well,” Louis interjects.

“Yeah, I’ll definitely want to see them too but,” he says, taking a step closer to Louis so they’re standing only inches apart, “I came here to see you.” Their eyes meet and hold, only breaking briefly when Harry glances around the room, continuing, “This, right here, is so important and I really want to be here for you.”

Louis is silent, not knowing what to say and feeling utterly overwhelmed by the day. Sensing, as always, Louis’ emotional state, Liam steps in. “Thank you, Harry. We’d love your help, right Lauren?”

“Absolutely, we’ll take whatever sort of cheap labor we can get.”

“Perfect. Now that’s settled, why don’t the two of you take off? Spend some actual time together before we have to get back at this again tomorrow. Besides, Harry’s probably as jet-lagged as me, maybe worse.”

Arrangements are made for the morning - what time they’ll regroup and who is bringing breakfast. They also argue about where Louis and Harry should stay the night until Liam takes the decision away from them altogether and books a hotel room nearby, charging it to the law firm. Looking at Louis, he says, “Your stay at the Riptide was cut short so just consider this a continuation of that, though nowhere near as luxurious.”

Louis opens his mouth to object but is shut out immediately, Liam unwilling to listen. With a quick kiss to his cheek, Liam pushes all of them out the door, locking up behind him. Lauren drops them at the hotel since it’s on her way home. Neither man says much during the ride.

When they get up to their room, Harry places his luggage in a corner and turns around so he’s facing Louis. “Hi.”

Louis smiles in return. “Hi.”

“Busy day, huh?” Harry says with a tired laugh.

“Still can’t believe you’re here.”

“I can.” He walks across the room, closing the gap between them. Reaching out to the smaller man, Harry grabs a fistful of Louis’ jumper and pulls him so their chests are flush against each other. “Only place I want to be.”

Louis melts into him, rubbing his cheek against Harry’s shoulder and loving the way he can feel Harry’s heart beating against his chest. They’re standing in a hotel room but it feels like home. Harry feels like home.

They stay like that for what seems like ages but is probably only a couple of minutes until Harry pulls away, just far enough that their eyes can meet. “We should eat and shower and…..and talk. We didn’t have a lot of time this morning and I feel like I just sort of unloaded on you.”

“Yeah, sure. You probably need sleep more than anything though.”

“’S’alright. I can hang on a little longer. Hey, why don’t you shower first and I’ll call for room service?”

Louis heads off to the ensuite with the small bag of clothes that Liam secretly packed for him, hoping that things would work out with Harry. What Louis doesn’t have, Harry insists he can borrow from him, like toothpaste and mouthwash. Louis is quick in the shower, wanting to make sure Harry has a chance to clean up before he passes out from the time difference as well as the physical labor of hauling boxes all day. He opens the door to the rest of the suite and sees Harry sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting.

“I ordered pasta for both of us, hope that’s okay,” Harry says, getting up and walking into the warm, steamy ensuite with a pile of clean clothes in his hands.

“Sounds perfect, babe, thanks.”

Louis should be exhausted after the emotional roller coaster he's been on during the last twenty-four hours, especially as he lays on the bed with the sound of the shower in the background. And maybe physically he is exhausted but _Harry is here_. His mind is still spinning over that fact, has been all day if he's honest, his heart warm and pumping with excitement. It’s the high pitch squeak of the faucet that rattles him out of his thoughts just before Harry exits the bathroom, nothing but a towel wrapped low around his waist.

At Louis’ obvious admiration, Harry smiles and shrugs, “It’s too hot in there to get dressed.” Biting his bottom lip, he wraps a second towel turban-style around his head and then walks across the room toward the large windows, probably because the air is cooler over there. Louis can’t help but notice his nipples getting hard as he turns back around, facing the bed again. “Our food should be here any minute.”

“Come here.” Louis didn’t mean for that to come out as squeaky as it did but there’s a tall, gangly and basically naked angel in the room so he can’t be blamed for being so affected. Also, as unbelievable as it is, Harry did fly all the way to London to see him. Louis isn’t at all sure that he didn’t dream up all of the lovely things Harry said to him this morning but he isn’t going to worry about it just now, not when he can trace the muscles on Harry’s abs.

Still perched on the edge of the bed, Louis brackets Harry’s thighs with his knees. They’re so close Louis can see each thread of peach fuzz just above Harry’s treasure trail and he can’t deny himself the pleasure of licking him there, just to see if he can make the hairs appear darker when dampened with his own saliva. Harry hums as Louis goes in for a second and third lick across his abs, small hands reaching around to squeeze Harry’s bum.

A brisk knock on the door has Louis huffing in frustration. In a small fit of protest, he traps Harry by hugging him tightly, his cheek pressed snug against the taller man’s chest.

“One second!” Harry calls out, looking toward the door. Then Louis feels large hands ruffling his slightly damp hair. Harry pulls Louis’ head back, pressing a lingering kiss against his lips. “Come on, babe. We both need to eat something.”

“Boring.” Louis pouts, but releases Harry so he can put on the hotel robe just before answering the door.

They eat quickly, sharing a little of both pasta dishes Harry ordered. There’s one piece of chocolate torte which they polish off quickly as well. They engage in small talk while they eat, Harry telling Louis about his flight and about how he didn’t even tell Niall he was coming. After piling their dishes on the floor outside their door, Louis comes back in to find Harry sitting on the bed, pillows propped up behind him and motioning for Louis to join him.

Louis doesn’t even get fully on the bed before Harry’s reaching out and grabbing his hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing several times on both sides. “Lou, I missed you so much,” he breathes out, voice slightly growly.

“Me too.”

“Tell me the truth though. I know I just showed up out of the blue, like a clingy stalker, telling you I want to move here to be with you. I mean, I want you to know that if that’s too much, too fast, we can take it as slow as you’d like. I just, I really want to be your boyfriend. I know you have a lot going on here, and your family comes first, of course, but…”

“Shhhh. You _are_ my boyfriend. And I don’t think anything between us could be fast enough for me.”

“Really?” Harry's grin is so wide it would be dopey on anyone else.

“Really,” Louis says, wags his eyebrows. Then, getting serious, “But I feel like I should warn you that I’m a bit lost right now. I told Liam I’m quitting my job. Looking into getting a teaching license so I might actually have to go back to school, I don’t know. I haven’t figured everything out.”

“That’s great, Louis! I’m so happy for you.” Harry hugs him excitedly.

“And then there’s the kids. Harry, they have so much going on between school and other activities. I’ve been running them around like crazy.”

“They’re your family. Of course you want to be there for them. I can help with that stuff too. I love kids and these are Tomlinsons so I already know I’ll love them to the moon and back.”

“Are you even real? You’re so fucking perfect," Louis says, as he traces a finger along Harry's dark brows. "I keep wondering if you’re some figment of my imagination, or this celestial being, like my guardian angel or summat.”

“I’m not perfect, obviously, or it wouldn’t have taken me so long to realize just what you mean to me. I should have told you how I felt before you even left.”

“We just met, like a month ago. Believe me, I get it. And I’d understand if you wanted to hold off on moving for a bit. We could have Skype dates for a while, I don’t know. I don’t want you to regret dropping everything for me.”

“Shut up. You know I would have left Riptide anyway.”

“Right but you own a house there now.”

“Still, I wasn’t staying there permanently. That was never my plan. And, Louis, if you’d have seen me after you left, you’d know that it’s not even an option to stay there. Not without you. Please believe me when I say I have absolutely no hesitation about doing this.”

Louis is quiet for a second, biting his lip while playing with Harry’s long, gorgeous fingers.

“What?” Harry asks, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Can we live together?” Louis asks, in a quiet voice.

In response, Harry tackles him much like he did this morning on his mum’s living room sofa. Louis is being kissed all over his face, his necks, his shoulders, basically every piece of flesh Harry can find.

“Is that a yes?” Louis gets out, in between giggles.

“I think that’s the only way I ever pictured it.” Harry says, pulling himself up, eyes turning serious again. “Want to go to sleep next to you every night just so I can wake up and see your crinkly-eyed smile and your messed up fringe first thing every morning.”

Louis watches Harry’s lips as he talks, leaning up to capture his bottom lip between his teeth as soon as the last word is out. They kiss languidly, tongues exploring each other as though it’s the first time. As the heat between them builds, Louis pushes up the hem of the plush robe so he can grab a handful of Harry’s bum, pulling him tightly against his raging erection. The friction only adds fuel to the fire though and Louis finds himself flipping Harry over so he can undo the belt on his robe and open it up, feasting his eyes on his boy. _His_ boy. Harry starts undressing Louis too, tugging his t-shirt up towards his head. Louis puts a stop to that, grabbing both of Harry’s wrists and placing them above Harry’s head while he bends down to lick into Harry’s mouth again, kissing him more roughly and making Harry moan underneath him. When he’s satisfied that Harry has gotten the message to leave his hands there, he sits up and pulls his t-shirt over his head, eyes going straight to Harry’s cock as he grinds his bum into Harry’s hips, moving in a circular motion. Then, because he can’t resist anymore, he trails his fingers across Harry’s collarbone, down over one nipple and then lower still until he can wrap his hand around Harry’s hard heat. And it’s so much, so hot and so _everything_ that he has to close his eyes for a second and bite down on his lip, hard, breathing through his nose until a decent amount of oxygen makes it to his brain.

“Harry.” He opens his eyes to find Harry watching him with heavy lids and a heaving chest. “Tell me you have condoms and lube with you ‘cause I need to be inside you so bad.”

Harry nods quickly. “Yeah, ‘s’ in my bag.”

Louis springs off the bed and, with a little further direction from Harry, procures the items in question and returns to the bed, kneeling next to Harry. When Harry starts to roll over onto his front, Louis stops him with a firm hand on his hip. “Wanna see your face, love.”

Opening him up slowly, Louis pays special attention to the rest of Harry by kissing, biting and licking all of the places he can reach easily, like his belly button, his nipples and the soft padding on his waist. He finds Harry’s prostate with his fingers, making Harry whimper and curse. Swirling his tongue along Harry’s rim as he takes his fingers out, he reaches for the condom package a few inches away.

“You don’t have to use that, if you don’t want to. I-I’m clean, I promise.”

“Yeah?” Louis quirks a brow, a half-smile on his lips.

“Yeah. Was tested the week before we met.”

“And you’re just telling me this now?” He says with mirth in his voice, throwing the condom packet across the room. Then, squirting a generous amount of lube into one hand, he stretches up to kiss Harry’s gorgeous lips while spreading the lube on his dick, giving it a couple of strokes while he sucks on Harry’s tongue. Sitting up to kneel between Harry’s legs, he lines his cock up so it rubs across Harry’s hole and then pushes in slightly. And fuck if the feeling isn’t so intense it’s almost too much right from the start. Louis takes a couple of deep breaths and pushes in further. Both men curse, as Louis continues to slide in slowly until he’s in all the way to the hilt.

It takes a minute for him to catch his breath but then Louis slides out and in again, as slow as he can stand it. “I want to fuck you so slow that you beg me to take you hard and fast.” Louis shakes his head. “But that’s not going to happen now, not when you feel this amazing around me.” He pulls out slow again, waits a beat or two and then slams into Harry hard.

“Oh fuck!” Harry breathes out in a rush, hands reaching for the headboard, something hard and secure to hold on to while Louis continues jackhammering his hips into Harry. “Louis, yes! Oh God, yes!”

Louis holds Harry’s shaking thighs, spreading them a little further apart so he can change the angle a bit, making it easier to hit Harry’s prostate with every thrust. “Want to see you come on my cock, babe, come on.”

And just like that Harry comes on command, untouched and looking obscenely beautiful. Louis can’t be expected to last much longer after watching Harry’s face as he comes. The thing is, his gorgeous eyebrows did that sexy furrow while his dimples appeared and disappeared repeatedly, probably in unison with his heartbeat, or maybe the pulsing of his cock as he came. That, along with the sweat that’s making his hair look like he just got out of the shower again. It’s all too much and Louis is coming inside Harry before he even has time to think about pulling out.

They murmur endearments, holding each other close. Neither of them bother to clean themselves up, the exhaustion of the last week apart and the emotional day taking its toll and putting them into a much needed, deep sleep.

It’s seven in the morning when they’re rudely awakened by the ringtone on Louis’ phone. Harry curls up, nestling further under the warm blankets as Louis thrashes about on the bed, trying to grab his phone off the bedside table of their hotel room. Louise curses before he answers the call.

“You know I love you man but not so much at arse o’clock in the m--.”

Niall cuts him off, voice frantic. Sorry, mate. I’m going crazy. Harry is fucking _gone_. He won’t answer his phone. I’ve tried him a million times. Was wondering if you’d ring him for me. Maybe he’d answer for you.”

Harry peeks out from the blanks, probably hearing at least some of the conversation, considering Niall is nearly shouting.

“Niall, hold on a second.” Louis holds the phone out to Harry who slowly takes it from him, face contorted with guilt.

“Hi, Niall. I’m in London with Louis, and I’m so sorry for making you worry.”

“What the—what?” They both hear Niall yell.

“Tell him to Facetime us,” Louis says to Harry.

And less than twenty seconds later they’re both sitting up in bed, naked shoulders squished together as they lean in close watching Niall on the screen.

It’s obvious when Niall can see them because the smile that breaks out on his face is telling. “Well, aren’t we cozy?”

Louis and Harry giggle. Then Harry tweaks Louis’ nose and kisses him on the cheek before looking back at the phone screen. “Niall, meet my boyfriend Louis.”

“Really? You two got your heads out of your arses finally?”

Louis speaks up first. “This one showed up at me mum’s house yesterday morning, completely out of the blue. Made me the happiest lad in the world. I hope you don’t mind sharing him with me from now on.”

“Harry, tell me you’re going to marry him and have all his babies.” Then, before Harry has a chance to reply, “Ohmigod, Louis, we’re gonna be brothers!”

Niall is a cackling idiot. An adorable cackling idiot. And Louis is giggling like a six-year old.

Harry pipes up. “Actually, Niall, I do need to tell you something.” Louis and Niall collect themselves. “I’m moving to London. Louis and I are moving in together.”

“Duh. You better be. And I’m staying with you guys over Christmas so make sure you have a nice guest room.” Harry and Louis look at each other, laughing.

“You’re the best, Niall. Thanks for being so understanding.”

“You’ve got to be kidding, Lou. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”

“Naw, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Bullshit. _I’m_ the best thing that ever happened to you. Hazza’s a close second maybe.”

“Okay, yeah, you’re right,” Louis grins into the phone conspiratorially.  

Harry punches Louis. Louis kisses Harry. It’s the best kind of morning.

The second day of moving goes by in a blur. In some ways it goes a lot like the previous day only less emotional. They work through most of the remaining rooms of the house. Today Lizzie, Delia and Dixie are there as well. With all the extra hands to sort through things, it goes quick and there are even a few laughs here and there. The younger girls take to Harry right away. His natural charm just oozes and they practically swoon every time he walks into a room. Louis thinks it makes for a great distraction for them all, and he’s so very thankful for it.

And so very in love.  

It’s around six o’clock in the evening when the crew departs, Lauren and Johnny taking the younger girls home and Liam heading off to meet a friend for a drink before crashing for the night. That leaves Louis and Harry alone in the big house. With the house full of people and so much work to get done in such a short period of time, they haven’t had more than a couple of minutes alone all day and Louis has been dying for as much as a quick snog. Apparently Harry feels the same, because the moment the door is closed behind the last Tomlinson girl, Harry snakes his long arms around Louis and presses himself flush against the smaller man, both of them relaxing into the warmth and solidity of each other.

“Been dying to touch you,” Harry whispers in between kisses to Louis’ temple.

“Mmmm.” Louis squeezes Harry tight, one of his favorite things to do.

“Did I ever tell you how much I love your hugs?” Harry’s hands glide up and down Louis’ back, finally resting one on each hip.

“Uh-uh.” Louis doesn’t want to let him go. They can spend the rest of the night standing here in the foyer of his mum’s house for all Louis cares.

“That first night you came to my house and you got all nervous and just hugged me? I think that’s the moment I realized I was falling in love with you.”

Louis pulls back slightly, just enough to see Harry’s face yet still be pressed close in every other way. “Yeah?”

Harry nods. “You were so adorable. And when you hugged me, tight, just like you are right now, I felt this incredible sense of calm. Like some great unease I didn’t even know I had was lifted, and everything was as it should be.”

Louis knows exactly what Harry is talking about because he felt it too. He feels it still.

The next morning, Louis wakes up to Harry peppering kisses all over his face. Louis giggles, “What are you doing?”

“Loving my Louis,” Harry responds, quickly resuming his attack, hands joining in now as well as lips.

“In that case, carry on.” Louis throws his arms out, splayed out on the bed to allow Harry full access to his nearly naked body, to do with as he pleases.

And Harry does. Ever so diligently. Sometime later, with their limbs tangled together and sweat beginning to dry on their skin, Louis snuggles in close to nuzzle the warm space where Harry’s neck meets his shoulder. “Gonna miss you today.”

“Same. I can’t wait for you to meet my family but I do think it’ll be better this way, especially since you don’t have a lot of time right now – with the move and everything.”

“Yeah, I know. Besides, you haven’t seen them in a while so you should have time alone with them.”

“Exactly but next time, you’ll definitely be there. And I can’t wait to tell them about you. They’ll be dying to meet you. In fact, I’ll probably get slapped upside the head for not bringing you with me.”

“Yeah?” Louis laughs.

“Oh yeah. Gemma will want to see pictures at the very least.”

“Then let’s not disappoint. How ‘bout a freshly fucked portrait of me?”

“Oh my god.” Harry dissolves into laughter.

They do end up taking pictures of each other. For science. But the ones they take for Gemma and Anne are done tastefully – post-shower, of course.

The rest of the move goes pretty well, all things considered. There’s a heavy weight of emotion that covers all of them as they move the last of Jay’s things out of the big house. The echo from the empty walls is unsettling. Louis can feel his body tensing as he fights the pinpricks of tears threatening to emerge. All of his siblings are with him today, even the tiny twins. And Liam and Johnny are outside, loading the last of the boxes. Harry is still with his family but will be by any minute to take Louis back to the hotel for their final night together before Harry flies back to Minnesota.

It was good they each had time alone with their families, Louis thinks. It’s been a while since Harry has been home and Louis can certainly sympathize with Gemma and Anne after nearly losing his shit from only a week apart from Harry. Besides, Louis figured it might be best for his own family to just be together, to love and support each other through what would undoubtedly be a difficult day.

He need not have worried so much about the move though. His siblings are amazing, so strong and brave. But of course they are, Jay raised them. It was great to see Lizzie, Lauren and both sets of twins running through the house, chasing each other with tickles and laughter. A nice way to leave this place. Of course there were some tears as well but Louis was proud of how they were all strong for one another, helping each other through the inevitable sad moments. It will be like this for a while, the ups and downs, Louis is sure of that. But they still have each other, and that’s everything really.

At one point late in the afternoon, Lauren pulled Louis aside and gave him the news that Johnny’s parents had decided to relocate to be closer to them and were planning to help out with the twins. She told him between her and Johnny, and his parents, they’d be able to handle most of the day-to-day expenses and transport needed to get them to and from their regular activities. Louis was adamant that he’d still be very involved but Lauren insisted he let them help, citing that there’d be plenty of things to be involved in but that it would be important for him and Harry to focus on their relationship and the plans they wanted to make for their future. Louis had to admit that sounded quite good. Things were really starting to fall into place. Maybe the fairytale-like time he had at the Riptide wouldn’t be as far out of reach as he’d thought.  

Harry let himself into the house at half past seven, arriving with a wide smile and sparkling eyes. The tiny twins fell instantly in love with him, big gangly kid that he is, and there are even more giggles to mark the day. Harry soaks up their attention, seemingly loving every minute of it, but Louis isn’t going to stand for such blatant betrayal. Louis grabs up a kid under each arm and launches himself onto the carpeted floor of the empty living space, both tots landing on top of him in fits and giggles.

“Heyyy, Achoo loves you more than Harry, don’t you forget it!”

The twins don’t fight him off at all. Instead, both cuddle up on top of him, kissing him and blowing raspberries on his cheek and neck while Harry watches them from above. They’re nothing more than a puppy pile, and Louis loves every minute of it.

Later, when they’re alone in their hotel room, Harry curls up against Louis and whispers to him, “I want to have babies with you.” Louis smiles broadly while Harry goes on to gush about how adorable Louis is with the little twins, how much his heart hurt watching the way they look at Louis, stars in their eyes and besotted with love for him. “You’re the center of their world. And the center of mine. We’re all just lucky to have a little piece of you.”

“You just want a piece of my arse.” Hey, Louis can’t take compliments well, okay? Deflect, deflect, deflect.

“I do. I want your arse and everything else.”

“You can have my arse.”

“Yes!” There’s an actual fist pump that goes with that.

The sun hasn’t come up yet and Louis is thankful for that. He can’t sleep because Harry is leaving today and he doesn’t want him to go. Even though he knows Harry will be back in less than a month, it’s still going to be hard to be away from him for that long. Louis’ being a baby, he knows that. It’s just that he’s feeling incredibly happy and incredibly lucky, and it’s like a shock to his system to feel that way.

Especially without his mum to share it all with.

“Are you okay, Lou?”

Harry’s voice startles him in the dark quiet of their hotel room. He didn’t think Harry was awake, he’d only just stopped staring at him less than a minute ago. “I’m good, yeah. Why?”

“You were smiling but then you stopped. You looked sad.”

It took a second for Louis to realize his face is probably more visible to Harry, the moonlight shining in the through the window behind Harry.

“I was just thinking about how much I wish I could tell my mum all about you.”

“But she already knows about me.”

“She does?”

“Yeah.” Harry reaches for Louis’ hand, bringing it to his chest, directly over his heart. “I think she’s been watching over you all along.” Harry reaches with his other hand, placing it over Louis’ heart. “She’s right here. Always with you. And I’m always going to be with you too.”

There’s a sting in Louis’ eyes so he leans into Harry, kissing him soundly. “I love you so much.”

“If that’s half as much as I love you, then I’m the luckiest man on Earth.”

“Hush now and kiss me. I need enough kisses to get me through the next three weeks. ”

And Harry does just that, kissing Louis until they’re both giggling and squealing with glee.

His mum would have loved Harry. He's exactly the kind of person she'd want Louis to be with. Someone who is kind and thoughtful, loving and supportive. The sort who can act like a silly dork with his siblings one minute and be incredibly selfless and nurturing the next. The kind of man who is just as beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside. Someone who can love Louis as strongly and as deeply as Louis does him. Someone who can show Louis sides of himself he never even knew existed, someone to help him feel whole again. Harry is all of these things and yet so much more.

Louis' chest warms. Because Harry is right. His mum will forever reside in his heart, along with Harry and all of the people Louis loves. And he really does feel Jay's presence in moments like this -- times when he knows without a shadow of a doubt that his mum would be happy for him, maybe even proud of him for opening his heart again.

Louis' heart is remarkably full.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so very much for hanging in there 'til the end. Loads of love to you! If you liked my story, please let me know. This is the first one I've ever written so any and all constructive feedback would be much appreciated. All the best to you!! S.


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